Could he Be the One?
by tibby09296
Summary: When Lily Evans returns for her seventh year, she finds many changes awaiting for her. Could the one she always hated be the one she is growing to depend on?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Sadly, i do not own harry potter or any of the characters, but at least in this story the plot is mine. take that j.k. rowling. mwhaha**

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"Firs' years! Firs' years this way!" The familiar call of Hagrid soothed my nerves as I stepped onto the platform. I was finally home. Free from the house I had grown up in, to the place where I truly shined. Here was the place that I could finally be myself. At my house, it was always a constant battle with Petunia who had hated me since the day my letter arrived. My mother always tried to convince me that she was just jealous but part of me blamed myself for us breaking up. If only I had tried to keep it together with her more, or to try and do something for her. But no, she decided that shutting me out as a freak was the best way to go. That was her choice however.

I looked around the platform trying to find my best friends. I could see the castle from here and the tiny boats on the lake, with the castle reflected beautifully like a picture. Because I had made head girl I hadn't seen my friends yet. The whole time I was in the heads carriage and had to run the prefects meeting alone. The head boy decided to not show up. _I wonder who it is. I thought it was Remus but the only reason he wouldn't show is if it's a full moon and it's not. I suppose it could be Richard Quibbly from Ravenclaw. He was always very smart, but I doubt he would skip the meeting. _As I'm thinking up possibilities of who it could possibly be I hear someone call my name.

"Lily!" I turn around and see a group of six people waiting by an empty carriage for me. There is Alice Martin, a shy girl with a very round face and the deepest blue eyes imaginable, Mary McDonald, who was a quarter Japanese and it showed in her slightly slanted eyes and beautiful complexion, Emeline Vance, or Emma, whose curly brown hair and brown eyes mixed with her American accent could always make me laugh, and then, to my surprise, the Marauders.

The Marauders, consisting of James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew, who was oddly not present. Out of all of them the most striking was Sirius Black. With his wavy, shoulder length, irresistible, black hair and striking hair, most woman threw themselves at his feet. And also some of the men. He had a boisterous laugh and a personality to match. I don't think I've ever seen him with anything but a smile on his face. But now he had a slight frown. But then again, this summer had changed many things with many people.

James Potter was next in the looks line, even I had to admit. Being quiddich captain had given him a body of a god, not to mention the unruly jet black hair that was just aching to have hands run through. His startling hazel eyes gave him the serious yet slightly intimidating look also. But most of the time they were filled with laughter. The only thing that could be counted as different was his glasses, but they seemed to make him even more attractive, adding the impression that he was smart.

Remus Lupin was very good looking for being a werewolf. I had found out easily, ever since we did boggarts in third grade. I had asked him about it, and he told me his whole story. When he realized that it wasn't going to change anything about my view on him, we had became very good friends and still remained so. He was slightly underweight because of his "furry little problem" as his friends liked to refer to it as, but he was naturally good looking and his brown eyes could make you melt. Other than the marauders I don't think anyone but me knew about him being a werewolf, and hopefully it would remain that way.

Even though Peter Pettigrew was not there, I thought of him because he so usually was. It was odd to see the Marauders without the short, slightly overweight boy who followed them around like an adoring servant. His pale, watering blue eyes made him look slightly like a rat, not to mention his front teeth protruded slightly too far out from his bottoms. He seemed nice however, but most of the girls only used him to try to get closer to the other three.

I smiled and as I make my way over to them, I can't help but realize that James has grown even more over the summer. He must be around six foot now. My petite height of 5' 5" seemed even more small standing next to him. I'm the shortest of my friends, but definitely the loudest. I'm not afraid to say what's on my mind, but I would never mouth off to the teachers. Emma says I'm beautiful, but I'm not sure. My red hair is half way down my back and is the only one thing I love about myself. It's naturally curly but of course, with one wave of my wand it can be straight. My emerald green eyes seem to big for my face but Alice promises that they're just perfect and that she would kill for them.

James and I have had an interesting past, that's for sure. From hating each other, to a truce, then hating each other again, then finally deciding to be try out being friends. Not that he actually ever hated me. Instead, he insists that he has loved me ever since he first laid eyes on me. But that can't be true. I was a small 11 year old girl with wide eyes and braces. Of course, the first day I was at Hogwarts I went to Madame Pomfrey's office and had them removed and straightened. God, I love magic. But anyway, James and I had come to an agreement this summer. We were going to be friends, or at least not enemies. No more yelling in the common room or the Great Hall. Six years of fighting was long enough. We were both seventeen now. It was time to act like it.

When I finally reached them I was blind sided by a huge hug, if I can even call it that, from Sirius of all people. He seemed to be cutting off my whole air supply however so I started hitting him in the back of the head.

"Sirius.. uhhgh.. I can't breath.. Gerrof me." He didn't even seem to hear me however but he finally let go of the embrace.

"Hello Lily!" There was that bright smile I was so use to seeing on Sirius' face. It seemed like forever ago that we had all spent two weeks of the previous summer at his house to "bond". That had been when James and I had come to the agreement of being friends.

"Hello Sirius." I smiled at him and then moved on to hug Remus who gave me a slight squeeze and a hello and then let go. Of course, the ever so respectful one. Next was Mary who squealed and jumped up and down before running and screaming into my arms. After that was then Alice, who gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug. Emma almost tackled me just as tight as Sirius but at least this time I could breath. She whispered in my ear that she needed to talk to me and I nodded so she would understand. Lastly was James. I wasn't sure what to do. We had never hugged before and I wasn't sure if this was what we were suppose to do now that we were friends.

Before I could talk myself out of it and before it got to awkward I put my arms around him quickly but he surprised me by whispering in my ear ever so quietly, "Hello Lily." The way he said it surprised me. Not only had he used my first name for the first time, there wasn't a trace of arrogance or even infatuation in his voice. It seemed like a tired surrender. I looked up at him and then only then, did I see that James had changed over the summer. No longer was he the carefree teenager who loved to joke around. He had matured greatly. Just from that one look I could tell. Something must have happened to him that summer but I had no idea what it could possibly be. But only after thirty seconds of staring up at him did I realize we were still in an embrace and the Marauders and the girls were staring at us with suspicious expressions on their faces. I quickly stepped back and scooted away from him. He dropped his eyes from mine and didn't look again.

Remus cleared his throat and began to talk. God bless him. He's always so aware of just what I need. "We should probably get going you know. These carriages don't just move themselves." We all laughed lightly at the joke. We had learned about thestrals in sixth year so we all knew now that what was once considered a big mystery was actually just an animal. Of course, I'd find out later that I wasn't the only one who could see them now.

When I was seven years old, my father died. He was in a car, the passenger seat, and he was going fishing with a friend. He loved to fish. He went every Sunday morning. It was very early and his friend fell asleep behind the wheel and drove into an intersection where he was hit by a semi truck. I was in the back seat. It was the first time he was going to take me fishing. Thankfully, I was on the driver's side, or I would have been killed instantly, at least that's what the doctors say. But little did anyone know that I hadn't originally been on the drivers side. I had started out the ride on the passenger's side with my seat belt on, but right when the truck was coming and I screamed, something moved me to the other side. Now I know that I must have done accidental magic but back then, it really scared me. But now I know better. But I had been able to see the thestrals since my first year.

We all hopped into the carriage and I was squeezed in between James and Emma. Squeezing seven people into a carriage was a pretty amazing feat saying as the norm is about four, so we were all pretty squished. I was very aware of James' leg resting against mine and his hand almost touching mine but when I looked up at him he didn't seem to notice. _Stop making such a big deal out of things, Lily. You're being ridiculous. _The ride to the castle went pleasantly discussing classes and the latest pranks but one person said not a word the whole entire time. James.

After arriving at the castle we all filed into the great hall. We sat down at the Gryffindor table, of course, and stared longingly at the plates.

"Come on, come on, come on. I am so hungry!" Sirius whined as he picked up his fork and knife and banged them on the table.

"Have a little respect Sirius. We still have to wait for the sorting!" Alice said glaring at the utensils in his hands until he set them down.

"Just look how tiny they are! I personally do not think we ever looked that small. They're almost as short as Professor Flitwick." joked Emma.

"We were that small though. And that trusting. Like nothing could ever hurt us. But those kids should be aware that that isn't how things are now. Voldemort is rising and they need to know the truth." Everyone looked towards James as he said the first thing of the night. A strange hush surrounded our table and was only broken when the Sorting Hat started it's song.

"_Hello you new little children,_

_hello the ones who have returned,_

_Hopefully you will have retained _

_all of the things you have learned._

_There is no hat just like me,_

_For I am the Hogwarts Sorting Hat_

_And I determine where you ought to be._

_You might belong in Gryffindor,_

_Where dwell the brave at heart,_

_Their determination, nerve, and just_

_Set Gryffindors apart;_

_You might be put in Slytherin,_

_Where the cunning folks use any means_

_Be the best of the best_

_And they are very keen._

_You might belong in Hufflepuff,_

_Where they are loyal and just,_

_Or you might belong in Ravenclaw,_

_Where brains and smarts are a must._

_So grab me up and put me on,_

_Do not be afraid!_

_And don't get in a flap!_

_You're in safe hands (Though I have none)_

_For I'm a Thinking Cap!_

_(A/n.. last four lines are from Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)_

Everyone applauded politely as the first name was called. The sorting continued until the last name (Sarah Zi) was sorted into Hufflepuff. Dumbledore said a few short words and then the food arrived magically in front of them.

"Thank the lord. I am starving." Sirius said as he shoved pork into his mouth. He didn't even bother with the fork just reaching with his hands.

"That is absolutely disgusting." I tell him. While I'm picking up my fork and putting some mince meat pie on my plate I look up with the feeling someone is watching me. Turning around I see that Severus Snape is staring at me from the Slytherin table.

We lock eyes for a moment before I turn around with a shudder. For one moment James hand rests on my knee and he leans down to whisper in my ear.

"Are you okay?" his voice sends even more shivers up my spine. He sounds so worried about me. When did he become such a, such a… man?

"I'm fine." I mutter before digging into my food only to realize I have lost my appetite. Everything looks disgusting. "Does anyone know who Head Boy is? I know we share a dorm but he didn't show up to the meeting." changing the subject, I try to control my swirling emotions.

"Oh, yes Evans. I'm Head Boy and it's not a prank." James shows me his badge and I feel completely shocked. "I'm sorry I didn't show up to the meeting. I had a problem that I had to discuss with Dumbledore first."

"How were you discussing with Dumbledore on the train then?" I retorted getting angry that he had just ditched the heads meeting.

"He has his ways. It is Dumbledore after all. He told me to remind you that we're suppose to go to his office after the feast to find out where our dorm is. He also said something about enjoying Chocolate Frogs, whatever that means." James replies, saying more than he has the whole night.

"Well that's fine then, I suppose." I sit there quietly the rest of the meal as more small talk takes place but I can't find myself to eat anything.

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**A/N: Please comment and review. Critisism is welcome! It will only get better from here.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: As much as i want to, i do not own Harry Potter. That honor still belongs to J.K. Rowling.**

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I'm jolted from my reverie when I feel a hand on the small of my back. James had already stood up and was trying to get my attention.

"Are you ready Lily? You look bloody exhausted." he spoke to me with careful caution in his voice.

"Yeah, sorry. I guess I just got a little held up." I got up and said goodbye to the girls. "Bye guys! I'll see you tomorrow, saying as the Head's usually have their own dorms. Have a good night." They said their goodbyes and James and I left the great hall.

We walked in a peaceful silence for a while down the lonely corridors, only running into two ghosts taking a nightly stroll.

"It's weird isn't it? Knowing that this is our last year. I grew up in this place. It's my home." I spoke to him quietly in almost a whisper. The corridors were so empty with everyone being at the Feast. Something seemed off. I just spoke the first thing that popped into my head.

"Yeah, I mean yes, it is. I don't really know a home outside of Hogwarts. Especially now with this war going on. This is probably one of the safest places to be." he replied in a hushed voice also. I couldn't help how when he talked to me he looked deep into my eyes, seeming to get lost in them. I shook myself back into focus before replying.

"You're right. It seems silly that so many parents are withdrawing their kids though. I don't see how they figure this place isn't safe with Dumbledore here."

"Yeah exactly. You know they say Dumbledore is the only one Voldemort's ever been afraid of?" his question threw me off.

"Really? I mean, I know that everyone is afraid of something but it just seems weird that Voldemort, the ruthless man alive, is afraid of something." I replied waiting to see what he would respond with.

"Yeah, my dad told me that once. You said his name. That's pretty brave. I only know a few people who actually say it." Why did I feel glad when he called me brave?

"Well Dumbledore once told me that if I fear just a name, then the fear of the person ten folds. But yes. I have for a while now. This war though, that's what I'm afraid of. Everything is changing. There's murders all the time. A child goes missing and it's considered a good thing that it wasn't more than one. The things being reported in the paper seem to be controlled by Voldemort himself." I can't believe that I told him that. That I, Lily Evans, was afraid of a war.

"Well you're right about the paper. My dad works, er, worked at the Ministry and one of his good friends was editor of the prophet. He was murdered though and replaced with some guy who was suspected of being under the imperious curse, but of course, there were too many spies in the ministry so they couldn't say anything." he replied, stuttering a bit on some places.

"James, if you don't mind me asking, what do you mean your dad worked in the ministry? Was he fired?" I asked him tentatively, not wanting to ruin the nicest conversation we ever have had before.

"No, it's ok. He, uhm, he died this summer. Along with my mom. I was at Remus' house. Apparently they were targeted a long time ago. But they didn't go without a fight. Voldemort killed them personally because they were two of the most successful aurors out there. I'm going to be an auror. Just for them." I noticed that he didn't look at me when saying this. I was awestruck for a moment.

"I'm, I'm sorry James. You didn't deserve that." He seemed so distraught that I reached my hand out and took his in mine. Squeezing his hand gently I decide to say something else. "Look, Voldemort is the most ruthless person. I'm so sorry that your parents were the ones who had to die. If I were them, I'd be happy to die by my lover's side, doing what was right. At least they were fighting to the end."

He seemed shocked to find my hand and his and realizing that this action was slightly risky I started to pull away but he squeezed my hand tighter, seeming to need the support. "You're the first person I've told other than the boys. It hasn't been easy. I don't even know what I'm going to do after Hogwarts. Of course, they left me the house and most of their gold, but I'm going in to the world not knowing anything."

"I think you'll be fine at the end of the year. You'll find the right way, I promise. Besides, Sirius will always be there for you and.. So will I." With that last statement we made it to the giant stone gargoyles flanking a golden hippogriff.

"Password please?" the one on the right asked. I noticed the one on the left smirking at our hands intertwined and I let go of James hand quickly.

"Uhm, uh, I'm not sure. Oh! Chocolate Frogs." He looked at me and we shared a quick smile before the gargoyles slid apart. We made our way up the stairs and into Dumbledore's office. It was one of the most magical things I've ever seen at Hogwarts by far. Filled with magical knick knacks and the walls lined with the Headmasters of the pasts, it was a room that just seemed alive. I looked towards the center of the room and saw Dumbledore at his desk making adjustments on a piece of parchment.

"Ah, Miss Evans and Mr. Potter. I assume you have well adjusted at being back to Hogwarts?" his eyes twinkled behind his crescent shaped glasses.

"Yes sir. Very much sir. I can't believe it's already our seventh year though. It's all gone by so fast." I always talk to much in front of Dumbledore.

"Yes it is Miss Evans. But it seems to me that time always goes by so much faster when we have someone to share it with." I was uncomfortable by his gaze for a moment. The way he was looking at me and James seemed to be that he knew something about us that we did not.

"Uhm sir, where is the Head's Dorm? This is what I am assuming the meeting was called for?" James seems to be just as uncomfortable as I am.

"Ah yes. Down to business I suppose. The Head's dorm is on the fourth floor and is guarded by the dragon rider portrait. I'm sure you know it well? Yes, most people do. The password is at the moment Zonkos, yes like the joke shop, but you can change it when ever you would like. Remember that you need to schedule prefect meetings and need to discuss with each other about Hogsmeade trips, dorm passwords, and school functions. Any questions?"

"Yes sir. When you say school functions do you mean like a ball or a dance? Because I didn't know that Hogwarts did those sorts of things except in the exception of the Yule Ball during the Triwizard Tournament." I was puzzled by his statement for a moment. He looked at me with a slight chuckle.

"Well, we teachers have agreed that with all of the chaos and destruction going on that the students could use a break and have fun. We decided on a Christmas Ball and then a Valentine's Day Dance. But all of the planning would be up to you." he seemed very enthusiastic about these so I knew we couldn't let him down.

"Yes sir. That sounds great. Is there anything else or can we go?" James seemed to be in a hurry to leave and I wonder if it has anything to do with our discussion on the way here. _Lily, get a hold of yourself. It's not like his world is revolves around you._

"Of course James. Either of you feel free to come with me for anything you need to talk about." His piercing eyes met mine then James and we both nodded before getting up and walking out the door. We made our way back down the stairs and walked in almost complete silence before reaching the painting of the dragon rider.

"Uhm excuse me Mr. Rider? Hi we're the new heads. We were told the password was Zonkos?" I tentatively asked the rider not wanting to disturb him the first time meeting him.

"Ah yes, Miss Potter and Mr. Evans. You may enter. Should I let anyone in who knows the password but are not you two?" He asked us this as he did flips around on his dragon. I don't even think he realized his mistake but James corrected him quickly.

"Uhm sir, I'm James Potter and this is Lily Evans. You mistook our last names. And uhm, yes that's fine unless they look very distrust worthy." Part of me couldn't help but wonder at myself why Miss Potter sounded really good to my ears. _Lily Potter. That's very pretty. Lily Lily Lily Potter. Wait, no. What are you doing Lily? This is James for crying out loud. Stop it. Stop it right now. You need to get yourself a boyfriend. _

"My apologies, Mr. Potter and Miss Evans. Please enjoy your suit." He opened his door and we stepped inside to an amazing sight. There was a large fireplace in the center of one wall with two arm chairs next to it. There were two desks against one wall and a whole row of books. The room was draped in red and gold hangings and looked absolutely marvelous. A small set of basic furniture was also in the middle of the room looking quite inviting. There was a spiral staircase leading up to two doors, one with a sign that said Lily and the other saying James. We made our way upstairs and walked into our separate rooms. Mine had a four poster bed that was huge, at least a king size, and a personal desk and fireplace. There were also many cabinets and closets for my clothes. I walked through another door to see the master bathroom. There was a bathtub that was as big as a miniature pool and a shower. There were two sinks and towels with both of our initials on it. All of our toiletries had already been laid out. I continued to another door at the opposite end of the bathroom. I walked into James room to a surprising sight.

James was standing besides the bed with his trunk out, shirtless with only his boxers on. I couldn't help but stare at the toned muscles of his stomach.

"Oh Merlin. I am so sorry, I just wanted to see what your room looked like. I'm sorry!" I knew I was rambling but couldn't help it. I tried to look anywhere but his chest but I could feel my eyes drawing to it anyway.

"Oh, Lily. Don't worry. It's not a big deal." He pulled on a plain t-shirt and walked over to where I was standing by the bathroom. He walked past me and into the bathroom taking a quick peek at my room. "That's not very fair. You're room is bigger than mine." He looked over at me and I could see a smile on his face that hadn't been there all night.

"Well, I do probably have loads more clothes than you. That reminds me! I'm going to have to go buy a new dress for the ball. Ugh, I should probably start planning those right now with all the homework I'm sure we're going to have." I continued on rambling until James was standing right by my side.

"You know, it is only September, and the first ball isn't until December. I think that you'll be fine." He has a slight smirk on his face that irritates me beyond believe.

"That is true, but I can't be slacking at the beginning of the year or else what will happen at the end? I'm going to bed James. Goodnight." I look up at him and he seems to be on the verge of saying something but then changes his mind.

As I leave the room I hear him whisper, "Goodnight Lily."

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**A/N: Did you like it? Things will pick up more when classes start. please review. Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: To my utmost depression, i have admitted defeat against the great J.K. Rowling. I do not own Harry Potter or the characters in it.**

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Chapter 3

"So we've decided Lily. It is about time you got yourself a boyfriend." Alice's blue eyes locked with mine and I looked around to make sure no one had heard.

"Alice! It's only been a week into school. I think I'm fine without a boyfriend." I glare at her with all the fierceness I can muster but it seems to have no effect on her.

"Excuse me ladies, but did I just here that my darling Lily-flower has gotten herself a boyfriend? How could you do this to me Lily. I thought after last night we would be more than just friends." Sirius winked at me and laughed when Peter spit out his pumpkin juice all over a fourth year.

"Oh I am so sorry Snuffles, but you do understand. I'm a very busy girl and you were just for pure entertainment. Maybe if you got a little better I'll think of having a relationship with you." I can't believe I'm keeping a straight face through this statement but Peter's reaction was enough to keep me going.

"Wait! Are you guys serious! Why didn't anyone tell me you guys shagged?" Peter's dumbfounded expression is looking from face to face searching for answers.

"My god you great buffoon, it's a joke." Emma rolled her eyes and flipped her hair behind her shoulders before turning back to the prophet.

"Oh, thank god because if Ja-" his sentence was cut short by Remus shoving a piece of toast in his mouth. He choked for a moment but then was concentrating on not spitting it out on the poor innocent fourth year who had already faced his pumpkin juice.

"Never mind him you guys. He still might be a little confounded from getting hit in the head at quiddich trials last night. Anyway Sirius, I thought you were going out with that brunette from Ravenclaw? Jenny or Jeannette or something like that?" Remus was changing the subject, obviously, but I don't think most people realized it so I didn't say anything not wanting the subject to go back to being about my need of a boyfriend.

"Uhm, I think it was Janine. But no, we 'broke up' on Tuesday. She was a great shag but dumb as a door knob." Sirius shrugged like it was nothing and took another bite of his toast.

"I thought that's how you like 'em Snuffles?" Mary stifled a laugh at the silly nickname I had accidentally come up with.

"Excuse me Mary. Normally I wouldn't mind you calling me little names like that but Snuffles is reserved for my Lilykins only. You can feel free to call me baby cakes, hot buns, bodacious baby, any you can think of, just not Snuffles. That's reserved. Sorry beautiful." he shot her his famous grin and I could tell even Mary was effected by it.

"I'm sorry, but seriously? Bodacious baby? Are you serious?" Emma seemed to be only half listening to the conversation but the ridiculous name must have broken through her intriguing prophet to the conversation going on.

"Yes, yes I am Sirius." Sirius roared with laughter at his own pun of his name and we all joined along for a moment while Emma shot him a look and went back to her newspaper. I started to wonder what her problem was today. She was not in a good mood at all and I'm guessing it had something to do with whatever she was reading.

"But anyway, back to the real reason of the start of this conversation. Lily, you need a boyfriend pronto." Wow. How I hate Mary McDonald. I wanted to kill her.

"Mary, I do not _need_ a boyfriend nor do I want one. It would just distract me from school, which is the most important thing right now." I was clenching my teeth as I said this and opened up my mouth slightly to not look too angry.

"Look, let's just go over your options okay? Let's think. Obviously no Slytherins, uhm Hufflepuffs are okay but they're sort of pansies. I'd go with a Gryffindor or a Ravenclaw. Hmm, lets do attractive, athletic and smart. I'd say either Michael Ride who is so sexy or Amos Diggory. They both have their own pros and cons." Mary said this all like we were discussing the weather.

"Yes you're right. Michael has the quiddich body and the wonderful luscious brown hair and the blue eyes but then Amos has the blond hair blue eyes going for him and not to mention he's in shape too." Alice barged in with the conversation also.

"Then why don't you dump Frank and date them because I'm not interested." I was getting extremely annoyed with this conversation.

"I'd never dump Frank. We're going to be together always." She looked like such a lovesick puppy that I couldn't even argue.

"Well it sounds to me like Lilykins is still too caught up on me to even consider these two fine men, but if you wanted some assistance in getting one, I could always help you out. They're friends of mine, or at least can be. But you all have to say my hair is more luscious than Michaels." Sirius' joking manner calmed me down some. Mary and Alice wasted no time in telling him that his hair was perfect and luscious while Emma snorted into her paper.

"I think you're hair looks horrible and dry and brittle and is so horrendous that I can't even bear the sight of it. You might possibly want to shave it all off." there, that should end this conversation. Remus had once told me if you get on the topic of Sirius' hair with Sirius, you'll never be able to leave.

"Gasp! Lilykins how could you ever even say that to me? After what we've been through. You take it back! My hair is wonderful. I shampoo it with this mixture of citrus-" As Sirius droned on and on about his wonderful hair I couldn't help but look over to the Hufflepuff table and then the Ravenclaw table. I would never consider Amos. He was way too conceded. But Michael, now he was a good choice. He was good looking and just as I looked over to his table he looked up and his eyes met mine. My eyes widened and I gave a slight smile. He smiled back and then looked down to continue eating. Two more times that this happened, I decided maybe I could try this with Michael. I mean, he was nice and smart. But I've only ever spoken to him once or twice. I didn't need this.

"And finally, I use this wooden brush that I got from this wizard in Peru who had hair half way down his back that was just as beautiful as mine is now." Sirius seemed to be concluding his monologue so I decided to start to pay attention again.

"I think it's time to go to class guys. Someone should probably go and wake up James. He was up late deciding on the team." Remus of course, always the responsible one. We all got up and slung our bags over our shoulders.

"I'll go wake him up. I have to go get my Potions book anyway. I forgot it this morning." I tell them this and then head off in the direction of our dorm. I told the dragon rider the password and walked into my bedroom grabbing my Potions book. I walk through the bathroom because it's a much faster route and I didn't want to be late. I knock slightly on the door but there isn't a respond so I push open the door.

James is laying on his back, his glasses askew on his face. He is snoring lightly and drooling slightly over his pillow. Once again, he is only wearing boxers. He looks so peaceful I almost don't want to wake him but I go over to him and shake his shoulder slightly.

"James, wake up. It's time to go to class." Before I can say another word however he jerks up and his glasses fall into my lap as I sit down on his bed. He is looking around wildly and I can tell he can't see. I hand him his glasses wordlessly and he puts them on.

"Oh, good morning Lily. Uhm, why are you sitting on my bed? What time is it?" He seems so disoriented I can't help but laugh at his stupefied expression.

"It's after breakfast but I didn't want to wake you. It's almost time for potions. You've been sleeping for a while." he gets up hurriedly and grabs a set of robes off the dresser and puts them on. He runs into the bathroom and I can hear him utter a teeth-cleaning spell.

He walks back into the room and is trying to flatten his hair without success. He seems frustrated by it but then decides against trying anything else and just sticks with it going in every direction.

"Sorry, with quiddich trials last night, I must have just lost track of time. Thanks for waking me though. Slughorn would have my head if I was late again."

I laughed lightly before responding, "It's only the first week back, how can you already be late? And it isn't a problem. After all, I would want you to do the same thing for me if I was late. That's what friends are for, right?"

He laughed along with me, "right, of course." I noticed how he didn't answer my question about his tardiness but I assumed that he was avoiding it on purpose.

"Well, let's get going now shall we?" I turn to leave the room as he grabs his bag and books for the day. We walk out of the portrait hole together and as we walk down towards the dungeons for potions I can't help but snort at the reactions of the people we pass. I roll my eyes and start slightly when James speaks.

"What's so funny?" he asks me.

"Just the reactions to our 'change of heart'. I guess to all of them it must seem weird to see us walking civilly and not screaming at each other to go drown in a vat of pigs blood." I can sense him looking around now and observing the expressions of slightly dumbstruck mixed with slight awe on our peers faces.

"Hmm, you're right, they do seem quite puzzled by our friendship. If that's what we want to call it. It is pretty amusing. I mean, we're just friends though. It's not like we're skipping hand and hand down the hallway and snogging at every corner."

I start to laugh at his comment. "You're right. Merlin, just imagine if we were a couple. People would freak out. Most likely they would faint from surprise. Lily Evans and James Potter, together. Merlin, that would be hilarious."

He says something so quite that I can barely hear it. "I know a few people who wouldn't be surprised." But before I can ask the meaning of his comment we are walking into the potions room and he takes a seat next to Sirius. I look around for my normal seat next to Mary but find that she is sitting next to Emma. In her place is none other than Michael Ride. As I go to sit down I know that I have a puzzling expression on my face but I can't seem to wipe it off. I take one glance at Mary and see that she is beaming with exultation. Crazy witch. Seemingly on their own accord, my eyes are drawn to James' table where I see he is looking straight down and is scribbling away furiously on a piece of parchment. With a resigned sigh I sit down next to Michael.

"So how much did they pay you to sit next to me?" I look at him with an air or casualness but underneath the smooth façade I am screaming.

He smiles coolly at me before responding. "Nothing actually. All they said was that I would be rewarded greatly in the long run if I decided to change my seats today and sit by the prettiest red head in school. Obviously, I knew they meant you."

"How sweet. Just as a prior warning however, flattery will get you no where with me." And with that statement and a wink I set off to the back cupboard to get the supplies of the potion already written on the board.

"Now that I have all of the supplies, lets get started." I set down the plants and other assortments gently, just in case one exploded like it did last week on poor Andrew Vernko. As I reach to set the cauldron to a boil I realize that Michael already did. "Thank you. That already saved a bunch of time. Now why don't you cut this Agrimony Root. Make sure you use the side of the knife though, it will produce perfectly thin slices instead of the choppy, uneven ones." I couldn't help myself but to boss him around. I wasn't sweet Lily at the moment. Now I was school Lily.

"As you wish." he says sweetly before taking the healing root and knife from my open hand. As he starts cutting the root I can't help but watch how careful and patient he is with it. His strokes are smooth and elegant, almost as good as if I'd been doing it myself.

"You know, I just might not mind having you as a potions partner." I say this with a tiny grin on my face hoping he responds favorably.

With a grin bigger than my own he responds with similar agreement. "And maybe even more."

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**A/N More to come and soon. Please review because if you don't then the story will stop because i can't tell if you guys enjoy it or not so why waste my time?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I have never owned and never will own Harry Potter. The plot is all me though

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**Chapter 4

As September rushed by and soon the leaves all turned to the crisp fall colors, I got back into my pattern at Hogwarts. Some things were different, however, than last year. I was growing closer to two different people. I couldn't deny that. But one as a friend and one, well, I didn't even know what. I spent most of my time with James now. We would walk down to breakfast together, sit with our groups together, go to class, work on homework, and then depart for our separate bedrooms for the night. It was inevitable that we would grow closer. Sometimes I felt like he was turning into my best friend. I was comfortable around him to tell the truth. He made me feel safe and welcome. I could talk to him, which wasn't something I had really experienced before with anyone else. Usually I kept things in, but James let them out. We talked about anything really. Our families, our childhoods, our favorite colors and animals, our fears, our dreams. Looking back on the month of October I can remember one particular interesting night, when we had been talking about previous relationships.

"So new topic." he said out of the blue as I looked up from my potions essay. Previously we had been talking about the first time we had ever used magic. Mine being during my dad's passing, his when he charmed a dog three sizes larger on accident. He was three, I was six. "Have you ever been in love?" His question caught me off guard. I didn't think that James thought about things like that.

"No, I haven't. I mean, there's been a few dates, some small relationship, but overall, I found that I can never truly be myself around any guy you know?" I found myself speaking honestly to him. I found myself doing that a lot lately. We'd become closer over the two months of being Heads together.

"You're yourself around me." He says this like he is announcing the weather. Dry and without much emotion he looks up and I can see him trying to hide a hint of a smirk on his face.

"Well James, tell me if I'm being to forward, but at the moment, you're one of my best friends. I don't really know how it's happened. I mean we haven't fought in more than four days. I feel like I can tell you anything because I know you won't ever judge me. You're one of the best friends I could ever ask for." I say this with my eyes downcast, worrying about revealing too much about how I've come to depend on his company to keep me sane in this war.

"Well that's a relief Lily. I want you to feel that way because I want you to know you can tell me anything. I promise I'll never judge you." This was how it always was with James. First we would be talking and joking and the next we're having such a serious and intent conversation.

"So, who was you're first girlfriend?" I changed the subject hurriedly, because I didn't want get to far in depth about our emotions. I wasn't ready for that yet because even if I didn't like him like that, I still assumed he did.

"Marie Zigler, age five. I told her I wanted to marry her but she said her mom wouldn't let her, so we were boyfriend and girlfriend instead. That is until she stole my first ever Chocolate Frog card from me. I broke up with her after that." he smiled at the memory and I couldn't help but tease him slightly.

"And you've been breaking hearts ever since right?" his expression shocked me slightly when I looked up from my paper. It seemed that his eyes had darken more than three shades and he was looking at me so intensely I couldn't help but shiver.

"You know Lily, I've only ever had five girlfriends. That's it. Sure I might have had random hookups, but half of those were when I was drunk and immature. Trust me, I've changed." He seemed so serious about the whole topic.

"Well then fine. But answer me this. Have you.. Well.. Have you ever…?" I trailed off too embarrassed to continue.

"Yes I have. Once actually. I know big surprise. The biggest player at the school only having sex once? Well yeah that's it." He seemed angry by the fact.

"Who was it?" I asked him in almost a whisper. I didn't want him any more mad than he was at the moment.

"Mikayla. You know who she is. Seventh year Ravenclaw. We had been dating for over a year and a half. We were young, reckless, and stupid. We never even though about the consequences. We thought that you know, that's what would prove our "love" for each other. Turns out we didn't know what left meant. She cheated on me half the time we were dating. I only figured it out when Sirius told me she had tried to come up to him like that. That's one of the biggest things I regret. I wasted something that should have gone to the one I'll be with forever." he grew quieter and quieter as he continued talking. By the time he was done he was whispering. I went over and sat next to him.

"You know, it's okay that you did what you did. You regret doing it but I mean, you were young and immature. Of course you didn't know. You thought you were in love. That's no different than half the people here. If it helps, I'm not going to think ay differently of you. As a matter of fact, it probably helps my view of you. Just this morning Layla Martin was bragging about how good of a shag you are. It's kind of funny how everyone makes such a big deal of it when they are just pretending." I gave him a playful push. "And besides, I don't know why she would cheat on you. That's the worst thing a person can do in a relationship. It just breaks the trust."

"Yeah, I'm no fan of cheaters myself. I'd never do that to someone. It hurts too much." As I discreetly looked at him from behind my wave of hair I could tell he had been hurt by Mikayla, more than he wanted to admit. When I realized I'd been looking at him for more than thirty seconds without him speaking I tucked my hair behind my ear and continued talking.

"I'm sorry she hurt you." that was a whisper and then I got up slowly and walked past him to my room, pausing to rest my hand on his shoulder for a brief instant. He put his hand over my hand a squeezed slightly, before dropping it back down on the table. I took this as a dismissal so I walked quietly up to my room, but not before seeing him lay he head down on the table and close his eyes peacefully.

I smiled as I remembered the memory fondly. It was now November 17th, and December was fast approaching. James and I were past all the awkwardness of the beginning of the year and I now openly considered him my best friend and so did he. But as I got closer to James, I got closer to someone else too, Michael.

Michael was different than James in many ways. He let me do my own thing, which I cherished, while James had a habit of trying to do everything for me. James was perfectly content to just sit and talk in the common room while Michael always wanted to be up and moving. But my relationship with Michael was speeding quickly to something more than just friends. The way he looked at me could trigger shivers down my spine and out through my toes. He walked me to class most of the time and sometimes during lunch I would go and sit with him and his friends. He hadn't asked me out officially yet but I knew it was coming soon. We sometimes held hands in the hallways but that was as far as we had ever gotten as a "couple" per say.

I was walking back to the head dorm when I passed by the person I had just been thinking about. Michael was leaning against a stone pillar and looking at me with lust in his eyes. I couldn't help but look him up and down as well.

"Hey Lily. Look, there's something I want to ask you but I'm really nervous and I just want to get it out there but I don't know how to approach it and you're so amazing and wonderful and you're the greatest girl here at Hogwarts and now I'm talking too much and speeding up because I'm nervous. Ok. I'm ready. Lily Evans, would you be ever so kind as to be my girlfriend?" The way he was looking at me I couldn't help but grin. He looked so innocent and nervous.

"Of course I'll be your girlfriend." I stepped up on my tiptoes and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He sighed in relieve and took my hand.

"For a second there I was really scared you were going to say no." He was still breathing slightly hard so I squeezed his hand tighter as it was wrapped in mine.

"And why would I do that?" I laughed at the expression on his face and we continued walking in nice silence. We finally reached the portrait hole and he leaned in to kiss me but I put two fingers on his lips and shook my head slightly because the portrait was still awake. He nodded and kissed my forehead before I opened the door and slipped inside. I wasn't going to be getting much sleep tonight, that was for sure.

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**A/N: Im so sorry for the long wait and how short it is but the next chapter is twice the length of this one and will (hopefully) be added in the next couple of days. I'm so sorry for the long wate but please review so i can continue writing. Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, though i wish i could have come up with it in the first place.**

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I was in a sort of hazy trance after entering the common room. I had a boyfriend! _That just shows that there is hope through this whole war. _I sat down on one of the arm chairs by the fire and thought about pulling out my homework but decided against it. I was still sitting there when James walked in the room. He sat down in the arm chair next to me and pulled out a list he had made."It's for the Christmas Ball." he responded to my questioning expression. "I figured since it's already November we should get a jump start on what we need. I figured we could get a wizarding band to come play probably like The Galloping Frogs or something like that. And then of course we need food but I'm sure if we went down and talked to the house elves they wouldn't mind. And we'll need decorations. Should we make it actually formal and say couples are required or what?"

"Wow James. You've really thought this through. Good job. Uhm yeah the Galloping Frogs for sure, everyone loves them. Decorations leave to me. The Charms club owes me a favor anyway and I'm sure they wouldn't mind decorating the Great Hall. And yeah the house elves probably wouldn't mind, but we should probably go ask them anyway. Do you want to go do that now? I'm hungry anyway."

"Yeah sure, I haven't eaten yet anyway." He stood up from the seat and reached out for my hand and hauled me to my feet. We walked out of the portrait hole together.

"So why do you look so happy? You're practically skipping down the hallway." He smirked at me and his hazel eyes lightened.

I thought about my reply before speaking. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. "Oh uhm, Michael and I are uhm, officially dating. I'm just surprised is all."

He took a second before replying also. I could tell he was struggling with what words to use. "Oh that's nice." The way he said those three words almost made me cringe. So fake and sharp. Not at all like the best friend I've come to known.

"He just, he makes me forget this war you know? Every day the paper reports some horrible thing happening and students are getting death letters and then some are being forced to go home. Sometimes, he makes me forget all about the horror going on in the outside world." I take a breath and look up at him. He won't meet my eyes.

"Sometimes, you shouldn't forget though." he says this like he has more experience than I do. Which I'm sure he does, but still.

"Look, I'm sorry that I brought the war up and I know that you know ten times more about it than I do, but I'm in a good mood and I don't want it ruined, so let's talk about something else ok?" I said this short and to the point, trying to get him to understand.

"Lily, I didn't mean to make it seem like I was rubbing it in you're face that I was affected by the war. Hell, I would gladly switch places with you. But I can't do that, unfortunately, and I just have to live with my parents being dead. But ok, I agree. What do you want to talk about?"

"Uhm, should we make the ball legit formal, like the elegant gowns, cause the girls will want to know soon, we'll have to find the right dresses. And trust me, for some people, that can take ages." he rolled his eyes at me.

"My god, girls take forever. Yes, I suppose so. I'm going to have to go and get new dress robes." by the time our conversation had come to a close, we were at the kitchens. We spent our time in the kitchens eating and laughing and talking about random things that didn't matter. Like we suspected the house elves had no problem with making the extra food. They even made us a basket of fresh muffins and baked goods to take back into our room.

We posted a notice the next morning about the ball. At breakfast, that was all anyone could talk about.

"Seriously? A formal ball? Oh that's so romantic. Frank and I will have so much fun." Alice was ecstatic. Others, were not.

"A ball? You have got to be kidding me. I am not about to have to dress up and dance with some guy who can't help but grope me. No way am I going." Emma, of course. Always the dreary one about school function nowadays.

"Emma, you are to going. Even if I have to drag you there myself. And we have to find dates of course, because we'll just look dumb if we don't." Mary seemed slightly worried about that prospect of it, but I had no idea why. She was gorgeous. She just didn't seem to realize it.

The marauders also had some mixed emotions about the dance.

"A ball? Uhm, I don't know… I don't think that I'll.. Uhm maybe if I just…" Peter stuttered off eventually muttering something about the world coming to get him.

Sirius of course, was himself. "Well, it all depends on who goes with me. She has to be someone I haven't shagged, but someone who knows how to dance for sure. Hmm, this will take some time." I could see his grey eyes look around to try and find the right girl, already.

Remus seemed to calculate his reaction carefully. "Well, I will be free that weekend, but I'm not sure whether or not I'll go. Dancing really isn't my thing…" he trailed off.

"Come on guys! You have to come. James and I are working so hard for this and it would be ruined if you guys didn't come. Please! Please please please come." I looked at them with my puppy dog eyes.

"Fine, but only for you Lilykins, and I expect at least one dance with you." He winked at me and then ran to catch up with his latest girlfriend of the week.

"Of course we'll go Lily. We just have to make a big deal of it first." Emma said and rolled her eyes at me. She playfully shoved James who was being oddly quiet. "Who are you going with Jamesie-poo?" Emma laughed.

He smiled slightly before saying, "I really have no idea. No one's really come to mind yet." I couldn't help but feel his eyes glance over my way. I hastily ate my eggs and biscuit and drank down some pumpkin juice.

"I have to go guys. I promise Michael that he could walk me to class." I ignored the wolf whistle from Mary and the amused snort from Emma as I walked over to the Ravenclaw table. I put my hand on his shoulder and he turned around and grinned at me.

"Hey Lily! Are you ready to go?" When I nodded he stood up, said bye to his friends, and grabbed my hand. "So, I heard there's going to be a ball soon."

"Yes actually. Very soon. In a matter of weeks now." I laughed slightly about how formal our exchange sounded.

"Well miss Lily Evans, would you like to go with me?" He asked me with a slight smile and a glint of hope in his eyes.

"Why yes, Michael, I would love to go with you." he grinned in return and grabbed my hand even tighter.

"Good, because I have big plans for us." he winked at me before saying goodbye and running to his class.

I sat down next to Alice in our Charms classroom. Just then, a horrible thought arose in my head. "Alice. Oh my god. What am I suppose to do? I, I've never kissed anyone before. What if Michael tries to kiss me and I don't know what to do? And then he'll think I'm dumb and break up with me and I won't have a date to the dance and I'll be all alone and grow up to be a hermit who doesn't know how to kiss!" I was speaking so fast that the last part just sort of blurted out. We both looked at each other and burst out laughing. "Ok, but seriously, I don't know how to kiss. He's already tried leaning in twice and I sort of side-stepped him. What should I do?"

She thought for a second before replying. "Ok, uhm well you have two options. One is kind of risky and the other could end badly. First, you could just try with Michael and pretend like you know what you're doing. Or you could just tell him the truth. The second option is, well, who is you're closest guy friend?"

"James." I replied without hesitating. She smiled for a brief second and flashed her eyes to his table. I snapped my fingers to get her attention.

"Oh, right sorry. Just day dreaming about the day you two get married. Hey that hurt!" she said when I slapped her lightly on the arm. "ok, anyway. What you have to do is tell James you have no idea what to do and ask him, _nicely, _if he'll kiss you. That actually works really well, saying as James obviously knows what to do."

"WHAT! Are you insane? Ask him to kiss me? Why in the world would I do that? That could totally ruin are friendship, let alone make it awkward for weeks on end. Oh my goodness, how could you even suggest that?" I continued ranting as she patiently waited for me to finish. "Ok, I'm done."

"Thank you. As I was saying, you're right, you don't want to look inexperienced in front of Michael, but you know for a fact James won't care that you've never kissed anyone. If he's as caring as a best friend should be then he won't mind helping you out. Just try to see sense, but do it fast, because Michael probably won't wait much longer for a kiss." She raised her eyebrows at me before taking out a piece of parchment and writing: Isn't it a good idea for Lily to do the best friend kiss?

She muttered a small incantation and it went fluttering over to where Mary and Emma were sitting. They both wrote back quickly.

Emma said : Of course! That's how I got my first kiss. And then my boyfriend thought I was amazing. It really isn't that big of a deal.

Mary said: I'm not sure. It depends who you consider you're best friend. But I think that if it was either James or Sirius, they won't mind too much, but I'd suggest James, because Sirius has the tendency to spill the beans.

"I guess that I could at least ask…" I trailed off, to horrified by the idea.

After class I found James in the common room. I decided against asking him in the room because I knew for a fact that the portraits would talk. I knew just where to take him. There was a deserted corridor on the fourth floor and paintings didn't hang there.

"James, I need to talk to you, alone. Will you come with me?" I say this slowly, so I won't have to repeat myself.

"Sure Lily. Let me just clean this up." He waves his wand and the homework goes neatly back into his bag. He stands up and we walk out together. I take the lead and we are finally at the hallway with no portraits.

"I need your help." I looked up at James expecting him to laugh or crack a joke. His hazel eyes were so mesmerizing that for a moment I forgot that I was happy with Michael. He was just so good looking and so charming. But no, I reminded myself forcefully, Michael is perfect for you. And James is a bullying toe rag, not to mention a man whore. I mean, he's had sex before. But then again, it's not like that's a huge deal. Most people have. Michael, however, hasn't. I haven't even been kissed. And with that thought, it brought me back to the surface. "I know that this is really awkward and I wouldn't do it with anyone else but I need a huge favor."

"What do you need?" He looks down at me, the five inches between us seeming like a huge difference. I can't help but notice how alone this hallway is. No one ever goes back here, which is why this was the perfect spot. I wasn't sure if he would do what I needed however. I mean, we've gotten so closer over this year but I was still aware how he felt about me. I knew he would say yes, but then again, maybe that would ruin the balance we had now. I mean, yeah we've hung out alone before but it was nothing compared to what I needed. But whatever. I was counting on this. I knew that Michael would want to soon, so I needed help.

"I need you to kiss me. I know that sounds so weird and I wouldn't ask anyone else but I don't know what to do! I've never been kissed before, don't look at me like that, and I know that Michael wants to kiss me soon, but I don't know what to do. I know that _you _do however, and I thought that you could teach me, please. And hurry up and make up your mind because if this is happening, it needs to be soon." I rushed this whole thing out so fast, I wondered if he could even process it all.

"First off, why would you assume that I would? And lastly, why are you making such a big deal of never being kissed? It's basically instinctual." As he's looking at me, I get butterflies in my stomach. What if he says no and this changes our friendship that I've worked so hard for to get? I wouldn't be surprised if he never talked to me again.

"Look, I didn't mean it offensively and you don't have to, I'm just desperate at the moment because I don't know how to do _anything_. So please, just help me." I close my eyes a take a deep breath because I know that the no is coming soon, and I can't stand the thought of being rejected from James.

But before I open my eyes again, I feel his hands reaching up to cup my face. I open my eyes and he's leaning closer and closer to me. His cool breath that smells so sweet is warm on my face.

"Are you sure?" I'm not sure why he's whispering but his hands caressing my face and his sweet breath washing over me are too much for me to handle. I simply nod and close my eyes, waiting for him to lean in the rest of the way.

When he does, it's like nothing I've ever imagined. I know that ever person imagines their first kiss as heartbreaking or so romantic. This one, even though it wasn't real, stirred something inside me so deep that it was like my whole body was alive with electricity. At first I don't know what to do, but all I know is that James' lips are on mine, so sweet and gently. They move ever so slightly against mine and he slides his tongue along my top lip before stopping. He leans back and I catch myself before I fall back into him. I didn't realize that a kiss could do that to anyone. I look up to see him looking at me with something I've never seen in his eyes. He seems as surprised as I am. I look back down quickly though, in case something passes between us that neither of us could be prepared for yet.

I clear my throat before speaking. "Uhm, so how was that?" I look up at him again, but find myself unable to tear my eyes from his lips. They were so sweet against mine and I couldn't help but forget all about Michael as I wished he would lean back down again. He, however, is looking right at my eyes and I know this because I can feel the intensity of his stare. I finally look up, worried about what I might find there.

"I think that you'll be fine when Michael tries to kiss you." I can't tell the emotion that is hidden in his voice but part of me seems to think it might actually be rueful. I can't let him hear my emotions however, but I do know one thing. I want to kiss him again, and I could care less about Michael. This is my only chance to do anything with James because it's not real, of course. So I decide to try, this was my only opportunity for something amazing to occur.

"Uhm, I'm thinking that maybe, uh, we could try again? You know, just to make sure I know what, uhm, I'm doing of course." I don't dare look into his eyes. I don't want to see what is there waiting for me.

"You want to know what I think? You say uhm a lot." I can hear the slight smirk in his voice and I look up, ready for a witty comeback when something else stops my lips. I wasn't prepared for this again. I thought I would have had time to ready myself but apparently James had other plans.

His lips crushed against mine cutting me off short. This time though, there was nothing sweet and innocent about it. My lips moved against his with a hunger so intense and sharp. He was right, I realized. Kissing was really just instinct. I mimicked his moves with my own and as he started nipping at my bottom lip, and I realized he wanted me to open my mouth. I didn't know if I was ready for this but in that moment I decided, to heck with it. My mouth opened and it was like a little meeting with our tongues. Slightly like, hey what's going on sort of thing. His entered my mouth the same time mine entered his.

I use to think that this sort of kissing would be disgusting. Tongues are gross, not to mention slippery and wet. I remembered in the two seconds that we stopped to breathe, when I was little and I touched the tip of my tongue to my best friend at the time, because we had wanted to try it. We both had instantly spit and he said EW. But this was different. As James' tongue probed deeper into my mouth, everything seemed to wash away. It wasn't too much pressure or too little. Thank god he wasn't shoving his tongue down my throat, like what happened with my sister's first kiss. Tuney had said it was absolutely horrible. I mimic him again because I'm not positive on what to do. I seems to satisfy him however because he moans against my mouth. I take this opportunity to sneak my fingers into his messy, jet black hair. It feels so good against my fingers and they are soon lost in the tangled mess on his head. His hands now crawl down my sides and rest on my waist. He is pushing against me slightly and my back hit's the wall. It doesn't hurt however, not at all. I'm much too interested in something else.

It seems that every inch of my body is pressed up against his, but I can't seem to get close enough. My mouth is molded to his and it feels so good. I'm running out of air, so I resurface and open my eyes. We are still pressed together with absolutely no space in between us. My hands are still in his hair, and before I even say a word, his mouth is on mine once again. It feels so good that I couldn't even try to resist. I throw myself in eagerly and do not even hesitate in opening my mouth. As we explore each other even deeper I can't help but go through many things in my mind. I fell for Michael. I was with Michael. We were public. But it didn't seem like anything was with Michael as I was kissing James. As I kissed him, his sweet breath mingling with my own, I couldn't help but wonder if he was feeling it too. The rush of fire slowly spreading every place his fingers touched. His fingers danced up and down my arms leaving trails of fire.

If only he could feel this too. This rush of fire, like molten lava traveling down a slope. I didn't understand what it meant at all, but I knew it must mean something that was bigger than both of us. This fire, this molten heat that was consuming me slowly but surely seemed to control my whole being. I threw myself at him with a hunger unlike anything I've ever known. He responded enthusiastically and somehow molded himself into me more, if that was even possible. There wasn't one inch of space between us. My back was rubbing against the wall and I could barely breathe. James didn't seem to care however. He didn't seem to run out of breath at all. Finally though, my hands detangled themselves from his hair and his hands stopped trailing designs on my arms. I opened my eyes and looked up at him, still breathing incredibly hard. We had been making out for probably more than ten minutes and yet I could continue for hours.

"That, that was, uhm something. You'll be, uhm, fine." James is breathing hard too. He is looking at me with such intensity and doesn't even know how he makes me feel. I couldn't believe it. Michael was absolutely nothing to me. We were done. Even if James didn't feel the same way how was I suppose to go back to Michael after this?

And just then I had the perfect thing to say. "You know, James? You say uhm a lot too." As I smiled up at him he smiled back and then leaned in to kiss me once more. This one was just like the first however. Soft, sweet, and gentle. It was perfect. And then he leaned down so his mouth was right next to my ear. Ever so softly he whispers.

"I have to go." He says it so gently, like a caress, that for a moment I thought he said he loved me. But then he brushes a stray strand of hair behind my ear and rushes back down the hcorridor where I had gotten him from. How could he just leave? Wasn't he the one who was always asking me to go out with him? He's the one who fancied me. That's how it worked. James Potter always fancied Lily Evans who always turned him down. That's how our relationship worked, so why was I feeling like our roles had just been changed drastically? I slowly slid down the wall until I was sitting with my head in my hands. I was alone now in this corridor with no idea what had just occurred.

"What do I do?"

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**A/N: AHHH! they kissed! i couldn't help adding this in here. I hope you guys liked it. I know that it's kind of unexpected but i needed to thicken the plot. So i'd like to say thank you to the first three people who have commented on my stories. You've helped me to be able to continue writing.**

**Olivetreehugger: You were my first comment and i thought of it the whole time i was writing the second chapter. You helped me out a lot with your critisism.**

**Felipotter: Second! Thank you so much for the kind words and inspiration.**

**Lasting Illusion: Thank you for the kind review and i hope you like this chapter a lot!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I know, you guys are shocked.**

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"Lily, are you ok?" someone's voice drifted down the corridor to where I was still sitting in a daze. I must have looked just as bad as I felt. I looked up to see none other than Peter Pettigrew and Severus Snape walking down the hall towards me."Peter? Sev? I mean Snape. What are you two doing down here, uhm, together?" I was very confused. The Marauders all hated Severus. What was Peter doing with him? I noticed Peter's right hand unconsciously grab his left forearm and grip it tightly. Severus shoved him slightly and Peter released his hand, almost looking terrified.

"Nothing, Mudblood. I'm Peters er tutor for Defense Against the Dark Arts. I was just trying to find a spare classroom to practice in." it still stung when he called me Mudblood even though I knew it was going to happen.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts? Really Snape? Why are you still pretending you're against Voldemort." he flinched when I said his name. "See! You flinch when his name is even uttered. I'm sure you're just looking for new recruits." I was fuming now. Grabbing Peter's arm I said, "Peter, come with me now. You do not want to be associating with the likes of this, this scum."

Before I could react, I felt a sharp pain whip across my stomach three times. I looked down to see three bloody slashes all across my torso. The pain was unbelievable. I clutched my stomach and fell to the ground.

"Oh my god. Snape what have you done? I, uh, I'm going to go get James." Peter raced off down the hallway and I couldn't help but realized he just left me completely alone with Snape, who had just wounded me incredibly, so much that I couldn't even speak through the pain. There was a bloody puddle around me now as it seeped into my robes, making them dark with blood.

"That's for calling me scum. I, I wish that we could still be friends, but if you don't trust me and join the Dark Lord's ranking, I have no choice than to do even worse to you." He swept up his robes, careful to not get them covered in my blood, and hurried down the hallway.

I sat there, slumped against the wall and wondered if I was dying. I had lost so much blood already and was losing consciousness. My vision was blurring until I could barely see.

The last thing I remembered was three pairs of running footsteps who they would later tell me had been James, Sirius, and Peter. James had scooped me up and was carrying me. I slumped against him, losing the last bit of consciousness, but not before I hear him whisper, "Don't worry Lily. Everything is going to be fine. You'll be alright. I'm here." And then I faded into the darkness.

I woke up sometime later in a stiff straight, back breaking bed. I opened one eye a crack to see a hazy outline of a body laying against my legs, sitting in a chair, asleep. As I gathered my wits, I realized I was in the hospital wing. No wonder the bed was so uncomfortable. I looked down at my torso and saw that I was wearing a hospital gown. I lifted it up quietly and saw my whole torso wrapped in cloth with faint blood marks showing through. I pulled my gown back down, uncomfortable with the fact that I was still bleeding.

Still confused, I looked down slightly at the person who had there arms and head resting on my legs. He had messy, jet-black hair and his glasses were askew on his face. James, of course. I looked around again and saw Sirius, Emma, Alice, and Remus all asleep on chairs against the wall. Sirius was snoring loudly and was laying against Emma's shoulder. Alice was drooling slightly which made me repress a giggle. For a moment I wondered where Mary was but then I felt rather selfish for assuming that they would all be here. It's not like their lives revolved around me. Madame Pomfrey's light was off, so I was assuming it was late at night. But now I wasn't tired. I guessed that I have been sleeping for awhile so I was ready to get up. But first, my legs were asleep and a certain someone was not helping that fact but most likely attributing to it.

I wondered if because of this "accident" if James would forget what had happened. I knew for a fact it was still on my mind but he did seem generally worried about me if I had remembered correctly. That whole scene was a little hazy. I hoped he wasn't going to be awkward about it, and that we could just forget it, because I wasn't about to risk one of my best friends.

Speaking of kissing, where was my boyfriend? I looked around the room to make sure Michael was here and I had just missed him. But no. He really wasn't here. I let out an indignant snort without meaning to but then clamped my mouth shut hoping that I didn't wake anyone up. But too bad I did.

The person at my feet stirred and jerked awake quickly, seeming to realize he'd accidentally fallen asleep on me. He looked up at me and smiled with relief to see that I was awake. "Merlin Lily. You scared the crap out of me. Seeing you there, with all that blood, it was horrifying. I couldn't even tell if you were breathing. Don't ever do that to me again."

"Oh yes, because it's definitely something I can control." I laughed silently but then grimaced when it teared open a newly formed scab. Clutching at one of the slices I doubled over in pain. After about two minutes of excruciating pain I looked up to see James silently freaking out. He looked like he couldn't decide whether to rip open my gown and see if I was ok or running around screaming for Madame Pompfrey. "It's ok. I'm ok. It just hurt to stretch it out." I put my hand reassuringly on his. He let go quickly though and put his hands underneath his legs. I couldn't help but feel slightly hurt from that one move. That's when I knew that he hadn't forgotten it either.

"Look, Lily, about that kiss, I just, I felt some things that I wasn't comfortable with. You have a boyfriend, and the way I was feeling about you would definitely be considered cheating, and I don't want to put anyone through something like that. I'm just nervous that you might not be considering all of your options here." he seemed just as nervous as I was feeling.

"No, and I get that. It's just, you're my best friend James. And I don't want to lose you over some kiss. It was a one time thing and I needed your help. Now I'm going to have to return the favor somehow, but that's fine. And I never did thank you for that. So thank you for helping me. And I know that it might be awkward sometimes, but if we can, I just want to forget the whole thing happened, because I don't want to feel like a cheater either." I took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes. They hardened slightly.

He said in a whisper, "If that's really what you want, than ok. I can forget it ever happened." He seemed almost rueful by his answer but I didn't have time to dwell on that because just then Sirius's snores seemed to have woken up Emma who in turn shoved Sirius off of her, who yelped causing the other two to also wake up. I giggled again, careful not to rip open any of my cuts.

"Lilykins! You're awake! Yay!" Sirius ran up to me and gave me a mixture between an air hug and a pat on the head. Emma and Alice came over and grabbed one of my hands each.

"Oh Lily. We were so scared. I'm so glad you're ok." Alice of course, always the sensitive one.

"Lily, why are you always getting cursed? You need to toughen yourself up girl." Emma smiled down at me and I could tell she was just joking.

"Thanks guys. Where's Michael?" As I stated the question a nervous glance went between Sirius and Emma.

"I'm not sure that he knows you're here actually. No one told him." Sirius trailed off incoherently.

"What! Why hasn't anyone told him? I think he has a right to know." I shot a glare at my friends and they grimaced back.

"I suppose I can go get him." Sirius said. "But I do have permission to wake him up right?" he grinned evilly.

"Yes Sirius. That's kind of the point." I raised an eyebrow at him. "Wait. No don't hurt…" but I didn't have time to finish my statement because he was already out the door. I shrugged my shoulders slightly and rolled my eyes.

We all talked about random things like the ball until the doors burst open and there was Michael. I could tell he had just woken up because his hair was even messier than James' on a bad day. He rushed over to me and before I could say a word pressed his lips to mine. He kissed me gently and sweetly. Now knowing what the best felt like, I'd say on a scale of 1-10 he was a solid 8. James, I hate to admit, was an 11.

But there was something worse than the kissing technique. Once he pulled off of me and smiled I smiled a fake smile back at him and he grabbed a chair and one of my hands. I had felt nothing when he kissed me. Not a spark. No magic or fire. James and I had been like a spark to gasoline, igniting even if we were trying not to. With Michael, I barely felt a shiver down my spine. I tried to keep that out of my mind however. Because he was my boyfriend, and he cared about me.

But before I opened my mouth to say hello, two things happened. One Madame Pompfrey came out of her office and looked appalled at the amount of people in the room. Two, James curled his fists, grimaced, and left the room without another word.

I tried to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach and the rush of rejection that washed over me. I put on a brave face.

"Out! Get out! Only two visitors at a time, but in this case I am requesting that all of you leave! Dumbledore I'm sure, will be wanting to come speak with Miss Evans herself soon, so you all leave." Madame Pompfrey could look very angry when she wanted to be, with her curlers coming undone around her face.

My friends smiled and waved at me before departing through the doors. Michael was the last to leave and he blew me a kiss on the way out. I waved to him and he walked through the doors.

"Now then, let me see these cuts." She lifted up my dressing gown and lightly removed the wrappings. She sighed before saying, "the bleeding still isn't stopping. No matter what I do I can't get the cuts to close together properly. I don't have enough experience with this type of dark magic. But I might have a potion that can relieve the pain and encourage the skin to heal at a faster pace. Hold on deary, let me find it." She went back into her office and came out less than two minutes later with a small vial in her hands. "This encourages your muscles to grow back the way they should. Hopefully you'll be right as rain in little more than three days."

I thanked her and then drank the potion which surprisingly tasted pretty good, almost like watermelons.

"Now just rest for a little while. I'll bring you some food in a little while. I'm sure Dumbledore is already on his way up." She patted my hair down and went back to her office. She was right. In less than ten minutes Dumbledore walked into the room. He looked so intimidating but then I could just make out the twinkling in his eyes behind his half mooned spectacles.

"I'm sure you know why I'm here Miss Evans. I am so very sorry that you had to go through that. Severus is being punished greatly, let me assure you. I just wanted to ask what provoked him to cause such a spell onto you?" Dumbledore gazed into my eyes and I felt slightly uncomfortable by his intense stare.

"I was provoking him because he called me a Mudblood. I was trying to get him to convince me that he had signed up with Voldemort. He wouldn't say the name, so childishly, I did provoke him. But I didn't think he would attack me with my back turned. That's just low." I shook my head, reliving the memory.

"It's completely understandable. I am aware that you two use to be close. I don't want you to feel like you will be punished for this. You did nothing wrong. I just wanted to let you know if it wasn't for Mr. Potter and him plugging up your slashes, you would be dead." he was very serious about this statement.

"Wait, what do you mean? I thought he just carried me here?" this was very confusing to me. No one had told me this.

"Oh yes indeed. He took his hands and stopped the blood flow. He didn't let go until Madame Pompfrey literally took his hands off of you. He saved your life." he said this gently but I couldn't help but feel touched. "I'm going to leave now. I'll try to convince Poppy to release you a little earlier." He winked at me before leaving. I smiled to myself. _I will never understand Dumbledore._

THREE DAYS LATER

"Ok, you are free to go. But please be careful, and if the wounds start to bleed again I want you to get someone to bring you down here. You need to make sure that you change the bandages once every morning and once at night." Madame Pompfrey patted my head and helped me up. I made sure I was steady on my feet before walking out the doors. I was free!

I got back to the common room alright and James was sitting on one of the armchairs. He looked up when I entered but then hastily looked back down.

"James, I, I want to thank you. You saved my life. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here right now. So thank you, for more than that." I walked over and sat down carefully in the other armchair.

"Lily, you don't have to thank me. You're my best friend. I wouldn't ever let you die." He smiled up at me and I knew that I was forgiven for kissing Michael in front of him. "And besides, now you owe me even more." he smirked at that.

"I shoved him playfully. "I'm going to go take a shower ok? I'll be down soon." I walked up the stairs to our conjoined bathroom. After starting the shower I slowly shed my clothes and then carefully unwrapped the bandages. I made sure the shower was on the lowest pressure possible and stepped in. It stung slightly on my scabs but other than that it felt heavenly. I started rubbing shampoo into my hair. As I was washing it out though I went to grab the conditioner and it slipped from my hands. I leaned down to get it but then I shrieked in pain. I had ripped open one of the scabs. It hurt so bad. After three minutes of standing there I overcame the pain. But then I had a problem. I needed the conditioner. My hair felt nasty without it. So I decided to do something reckless but I was in dire need of the conditioner.

"Uhm James! I need you're help, quickly." I screamed out the words so he would hear over the pressure of the shower head.

I could hear him running in the bathroom. He paused for a second, realizing I was still in the shower which had a glass door, that he could see right through. He hastily covered his eyes and said, "Lily! Are you okay? You're not hurt are you?"

"No, I uh, I dropped the conditioner and I can't reach it without hurting my side. Can you maybe come get it for me?" I stuttered out my question quickly.

"Oh. Uhm, sure. I'll just uh, get over there then." he kept his head hung down until he reached the shower. "I'm not sure what you want me to do. I mean, I can't really grab it without seeing. I don't know where it is."

"It's over in the back corner. Curse this gigantic shower. You're going to have to go around me because I don't think I can move right now. Just open the door and I'll scoot all the way to the right, so you go to the left okay?" I opened the door for him and scooted to the right side of the huge shower.

"Ok, uh wait. Let me take off my shirt, I don't want to get everything soaking wet." He removed his shirt and his glasses and I couldn't help but stare at his stomach. He was fit, obviously, but with the Quiddich training it made him look great. He stepped into the shower with me and politely covered his eyes. But because he didn't have his glasses on he accidentally tripped over the soap and was going to fall. Before he could, I grabbed his hands but that didn't work very well. We both fell to the ground causing numerous amounts of my scabs to rip open.

"Ahh. James you've got to get me out of here. I just ripped open half of these." it hurt so bad I could almost block out the fact that I was naked, in front of James, whose legs were entangled with mine. He stuttered a reply and before I could say anything else he lifted me up bridal style and went into his room. He got a towel and wrapped me in it gently. He laid me on his bed and then went back into the bathroom. He came out two minutes later with just his boxers on. I was still laying on his bed, moaning.

"Are you sure you should be out of the Hospital Wing yet? You seem really bad. I don't really know what to do." He sat down next to me and wrapped the towel around me more securely so it wouldn't slip.

"No James. You handled that fine. Thank you. Just, can you just get me a t-shirt or something? He threw me a pair of his boxers and a t-shirt of his. "You're, you're going to have to help me into these. I can't really move and Madame Pompfrey said I need to not lift my hands over my head too much." I looked up at him and his eyes widened. "If you're too uncomfortable with it though, you can go get Alice, but I'd rather we just get it over with."

"No, it's fine. Uhm here, can you sit up?" He helped me into a sitting position and helped my hands into the sleeves. He pulled the t-shirt over the towel and then grabbed the top half of the towel underneath the t-shirt and carefully pulled it down. For once I was glad that I wasn't huge. I wasn't filling up the t-shirt or anything, not even close. I then slipped my feet into the leg holes of the boxers and he pulled them up for me and rested his hands slightly on my waist. "Are you sure you don't need to go to the hospital wing? I'm not about to be responsible for something if you get hurt."

"No James. I don't want to go back. But can I just sleep here tonight? I don't think I'll be able to move much." he helped me slide into the bed. "And thank you for helping me tonight. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been here."

"Don't worry Lily, I'll keep you safe. Do you want me to sleep in your bed?" He made a move of getting up but I was drunk on the pain and I pulled him back down.

"No, it's ok. Just stay in here, with me. I don't want to take the risk of not being able to get you're attention if something happens." he nodded reluctantly and laid down next to me. He waved his wand and the lights went off. I turned around to get more comfortable and accidentally moved into his stomach. We were lined up together on the bed. "Is this okay?" I questioned him, worried I was being to pushy.

"No, not at all. It's fine." I promptly fell asleep, hoping I wouldn't snore, or drool. When I woke up the next morning one of his arms was underneath my head like a pillow, and the other was draped over my waist. My whole body was tingling. Oh, and did I mention I was facing him now? Our faces inches apart? Yeah, I was hyperventilating.

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**A/N: So i put three chapters in today, so you guys should definitely be satisfied. i hope you liked this one. Notice the chapters are getting longer! Here's the replies to the comments: i won't respond to anymore after this chapter though, unless its the regulars (:**

**Aimee: you are right about that. sorry! i meant seven.**

**Asha: Read on, i'm trying to update at least twice per week.**

**Olivetreehugger: you continue to be my inspiration.**

**Feripotter: you're still my second.**

**Lasting Illusion: thanks for the support**

**Voldemortisgoingdown: i love your name**

**Dora and Pinaprincess: thanks very much. read to find out what happens next (:**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowlings owns all. I'm just the one making the most of it. plotline however, is all mine. mwhahaha.

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Facing him, breath mingling, arms around each other, in what could only be described as an embrace. Alone, in his bed. Merlin I was in trouble. Yet I couldn't help but think about how comfortable and natural I felt in his arms. I seemed to fit perfectly against his chest and it came so easily, like I was suppose to be there. _Michael, you idiot, think of Michael. _But then again, Michael wasn't the one who had saved my life, or even knew I had been hurt. He wasn't the one who helped me when I fell. James was. My best friend James. _What am I going to do?_

I groaned against the pillow accidentally waking James up. He blinked twice, seeming to focus on the position we were in before jumping up, off the bed. His hand automatically went to his hair. I grinned despite myself.

"Sorry bout that. Uhm, is there any chance that you could help me shower? I'll wear a swim suit this time, I just, I'm nervous about dropping something again. If you could just stay in the bathroom while I'm in just to make sure that I'm ok, I'd appreciate that a lot." I slid myself off the bed as I said this and lifted up his t-shirt to check the slashes. The scabs seemed to have reappeared overnight, but they still hurt.

"Yeah, that's fine. I'd rather be in there too, I don't want you to feel like you can't depend on me, cause I'm here for you, the whole time." He ran over to me and helped me struggle my way into the bathroom. We walked through the bathroom and into my room where I walked to my closet and grabbed a random bikini. He went back to the bathroom and shut the door. While I changed I looked at the full extent of the wound Severus had given me. He must have used a very dark curse because it seemed even if I moved even slightly, something would rip or tear. I put on my swimsuit as fast as I could but I couldn't reach back to tie it without hurting myself even more.

"Hey James? Can you come help me tie this please? I can't reach it." I called to him and he walked in from the bathroom. His eyes widened when he took in the sight of me in a bikini. I'm not sure why though, I mean he'd already seen me naked. The suit did accent my curves however, making my barely there curves look like I actually had a little something. He walked over to me and took the straps from my hands. After I swept my hair out of the way he quickly tied it in a bow.

"I already turned the shower on for you, the lowest pressure." He helped me up the steps to the bathroom and made sure I was in safely with both shampoo, soap, and conditioner where I could reach it. "I'll be just right here at the sink if you need me. Don't hesitate to ask me anything."

He opened the drawer underneath his sink and I couldn't help myself. I was definitely admiring his backside. He really should have put more clothes on. He pulled out a razor and some shaving crème.

"Why not just use a spell?" I realized my mistake as soon as it jumped out of my mouth. Now he knew that I was watching him. He didn't seem to mind however.

"I like the feeling that I do the simplest things for myself, and that magic doesn't completely rule my life." he got his face wet and then put shaving crème on the lower half of his face. He started shaving with smooth strokes, expertly shaving without cutting himself once.

"Well I would never shave every day. That would be way too much of a hassle." I muttered to myself. Even as I said this I recited a spell that I had come up with myself. I could feel all of the hair that I didn't want, my underarms, my legs, and my, well you know, disappear. That was nice. I remember when I finally came up with it, I was overjoyed. No more shaving! It was perfect. As I continued my shower, he continued getting ready for the day. Brushing his teeth meticulously, trying unsuccessfully to calm his mane of hair, and then cleaning his glasses.

I got out of the shower carefully and got a towel from the rack. I recited a quick spell that would dry my hair into nice curls. I walked back into the bedroom and James followed me. "I knew you would need help re-bandaging so I figured might as well do it now." he shrugged nonchalantly.

"Yeah thanks. Let me just get out of this wet suit though. I'll go put on something else. I rushed into the closest and pulled on my simple red bra and my matching red lace underwear. I walked out and was satisfied to hear the slight intake of breath from James. Part of me couldn't help but feel slightly pleased that I could get a reaction like that out of him, just from wearing underwear.

He came up to me with a fresh bandage and started wrapping it around my torso. He wrapped it twice before reciting the spell that would keep it together at the ends.

"Thank you James." I replied and he shrugged and made his way into his own bedroom. When he left I retrieved my other clothing for the day. Skirt, button down, stockings, shoes, and robes. When I was mostly dressed I realized I couldn't bend down to put my stockings on. "James! I need you're help, again. Sorry."

He came into my room with most of his clothes on also. "Don't apologize Lily. I'm here to help. What do you need?" He noticed my struggle with the stockings and said, "Ahh, I understand. Ok sit on the bed for me." He grabbed the stockings from me and I put my feet in. He slid them carefully up my legs before reaching half way up my thighs. "Can you get it from here?" I nodded and thanked him again before pulling them up the rest of the way. Before I could ask him, he had already bent down and had begun to put my shoes on for me.

"Once again, thanks James. A lot. You're a lifesaver, literally." he smiled at my corny joke and left to finish getting ready.

"Are you ready to go? Or do you need to put on makeup or something?" he seemed hesitant to ask me that and I wondered why it made him uncomfortable.

"No, I don't wear makeup. I thought you would have known that by now. And I brushed my teeth in the shower, saves tons of time, trust me." he grinned at me and nodded, taking my school bag and shushed my lame excuse of a protest.

We walked down to the Great Hall together and sat down at the Gryffindor table. Mary was there, looking nervous and rueful.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't at the hospital wing with the rest of them. Remus was helping me study for the big Transfiguration test coming up and they said you would be ok so I just kept studying. I'm really sorry. Please don't be mad." She looked so pathetic I couldn't help but laugh.

"Mary, I'm not mad at you at all. I understand completely. Don't worry." relieved, she smiled at me and motioned for me to sit next to her. James sat on my other side with Remus, Emma, and Sirius across from us.

"So now that Lilykins is all better, let's talk about the ball! We still need to discuss who we're bringing. I've already got a date, Lucy Anderson. Hell of a good looking girl. And Remus you're taking that Hufflepuff girl, uh Janice right? Right. Peter is refusing to go. Lily's with Michael of course. Alice is with Frank. Mary you're going with that Ravenclaw bloke, uh Wren Hill? And that leaves Emma. Who are you going with Emma darling?" Sirius ended his long rampage with a flourish of his hands.

"I'm going with Dawson Fry, from Hufflepuff." she said rather reluctantly like she didn't want us to know this information. "And, I've already found the perfect dress. So I don't have to go shopping with you guys. Sorry, but you know how I hate shopping." We all nodded. Couldn't argue with that.

"Well, I was thinking that we could go this weekend to find dresses in Hogsmeade. I mean, the dance is two weeks from Friday and we still have so much to do and prepare for." Alice said, freaking out as usual.

"Well I can't wait. The decorations are going to be wonderful. The charms club is already working on everything. And we booked the Galloping Frogs, so that's going to be amazing." my statement got enthusiastic nods from everyone.

"Yeah, I heard two girls talking in the bathroom. They're both in the club and they were talking about going all out with snow and an ice skating rink out by Hagrid's cabin." Mary said looking excited.

"Oh! That reminds me. I have to go and speak with Hagrid. I haven't seen him since I was in the hospital wing. He sent me a get well card and I should probably go thank him." I started shoving random food items into my mouth so I could get down there fast enough. "It's a good thing I have a free period first." I got up, waved to everyone else, and started the trek down to Hagrid's hut. It was a crisp, chilly December morning but I couldn't help but admire the beauty of Hogwarts castle. It hadn't snowed yet, but Hogwarts was beautiful. I got to Hagrid's quickly enough and knocked on the door. I could hear Fang, the enormous hound, barking from inside.

"Get back Fang! Back." Hagrid opened the door while pushing Fang back at the same time. "Ah, Lily! Yer all righ'. I have been worrin' myself sick thinkin' you wou' wind up real hurt."

"No of course not. It'll take more than a few scratches to get me." He let me inside and offered me some of his rock cakes. I politely declined.

After a long chat with Hagrid and planning on having tea soon I departed for my first class. As I was walking up the path back towards the castle, I looked up to see two students coming down the path. Thinking they were going down to the Herbology Plant Houses, I moved to the right of the path. But when I got closer to meeting them in the middle, they stopped and blocked the path completely. I looked up to get a closer look at the two people blocking my path. Avery and Nott, two Slytherins, of course.

"Excuse me boys, but I do really need to get to class." I cleared my throat and made a motion to step around them.

"Not so fast, Mudblood. You've got our little friend Snape in a whole lot of trouble. And we don't really, hmm, enjoy troublemakers." Nott said this as he looked me up and down and I realized he might just "enjoy" me.

"Keep your eyes to yourself Nott, if you wish for them to remain in your face. If not, I'll gladly remove them for you." Slowly so he wasn't watching, I reached my hand down to my pocket and gripped my wand tightly, a curse ready on my lips if they were to try anything.

"Like we'd do anything with a Mudblood like you. Well, maybe that's not true. Even for a Mudblood, well.. No never mind that." Avery trailed off uncertainly making me very uncomfortable.

"Look, I'm going to be late to class, so I'd appreciate it if you would step aside." I tried to make myself look taller and failed miserably.

"Ah, but we haven't even begun to discuss our problem with you. You see, Snape is facing punishment from Dumbledore himself. He's got detention every single Saturday until the end of term. And saying as it's only December, that's not very fair is it?" Nott reached forward and grabbed a strand of my hair and twisted it around his finger. He then took his finger and trailed it down my face from my temple to my chin. I reached up and grabbed his hand and shoved it off of me.

"Stop it, now." My eyes were hard as rocks and my stance was ready for a fight. They both started moving closer to me and I stood my ground. I pulled out my wand first and blocked the first curse Nott sent my way.

"Densaug ¾" Nott started but before I could repel the curse a new voice cut off mine and Avery's next curse.

"Stupefy! Petrificus Totalus." Both Nott and Avery fell to the ground. One stunned, and one frozen. I looked up to see none other than James Potter. He ignored me for a second and grabbed both of their wands. "You know Lily, you really need to be careful. I won't be there to save you every time." He grinned a slightly crooked grin at me but I didn't return it.

"How did you know I was down here?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"A simple thank you could be ok too. I saw Nott and Avery, uh, looking suspicious so I followed them." I couldn't help but see his hand unconsciously teach for his robe pocket.

"Liar. What's in your pocket?" I looked at him questionably. "Oh and thank you. Again."

He only sighed and reached for what looked like a spare piece of parchment. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." as his wand hit the parchemnt a brilliant map showing every single detail of Hogwarts appeared. As I looked down at it, I could see Dumbledore in his office, speaking with Professor Merrythought. It showed every single detail of the school: the secret passageways, the kitchens, the people, and even down to what looked like Sirius and Marcy Miller in a broom closet together. I didn't even want to know what was going on in there.

"This, this is bloody fantastic! Where did you get this?" I looked up at him, all my annoyance gone of him rescuing me, again.

"I didn't get it. I made it." he turned it over to where I saw four names slowly appear. Wormtail, Moony, Padfoot, and Prongs proudly present the Maraudars Map. When I grabbed it from his hands writing began to appear on the front. With a jolt, I realized it was addressed to me.

"Wormtail is wondering why good girl Lily Evans could ever be using something that doesn't belong to her. He is almost proud."

"Moony believes that Lily Evans is a studious and resourceful girl who probably figured out a way to force this off of Prongs."

"Padfoot is appalled that Lily Evans has still not shagged him yet. With her gorgeous hair and eyes, She is made for Padfoot."

"Prongs would like to add that Lily Evans is the most gorgeous witch there ever was and would like to know if she would marry him?"

"What in the world James. How does it know?" I looked up at him and passed him back the map, choosing to ignore the question that Prongs had asked.

"We made it back in fourth year. Sorry about the last part of that. You should be proud though. Usually it insults people. It shows everyone, anytime, anywhere. I had it out to make sure you didn't run into anyone on the way to Hagrid's. I'm sorry if that bothers you. But listen, you have to promise to never tell anyone about the map. If anyone finds out, they'll mistake it for dark magic, and we'll have it confiscated at once." He looked sheepishly at me.

"No, it's ok I guess. As long as you don't use it, like all the time. That was sweet that you were looking out for me. But we are going to be late to Transfiguration if we don't get going." We both took out our wands and began to walk away from the two frozen figures next to us. When we were far enough away, we both sent a spell their way and we could see them begin to stir. Before we were far enough away, I heard Nott call out from behind us.

"You better be careful Mudblood. You won't always have Potty to save you." He got up swiftly and began to brush himself off, not seeming to care that he had just been stunned. Avery seemed confused as he got up and almost fell back to the ground.

"Come on Lily." James lightly gripped my arm. We walked into McGonagall's room barely on time. I went and sat next to Emma.

"What were you doing walking in with James? That looked a little, well you know." She rolled her eyes dramatically.

"Ill have to tell you later. McGonagall's coming over here." I looked pointedly at the lesson board which was explaining the proper process of changing one's appearance. Today we were suppose to be practicing changing our eyebrows, adding or taking away freckles, and changing the shape of our noses and lips.

Emma and I had fun trying to come up with the most ridiculous concoctions and had gotten the hang of the spells before the lesson was halfway through. Because that was our whole lesson of the hour, I quickly told her what had gone down with Nott and Avery. Her now huge, bushy eyebrows that looked quite a bit like Hagrid's, drew together. The effect made me stifle a giggle.

"How horrible. We'll have to make sure not to leave you alone from now on. It's the only thing that could possibly work." But just as I was about to argue, a timid second year walked into the room and handed a note to McGonagall.

"Lily, you have a note from Dumbledore." McGonagall said as she made her way to our table. I took it from her hand and she made her way back up to the front. I opened the letter and read.

_Dear Miss Evans,_

_If you could please come up to my office as soon as possible, I have very urgent news to tell you. Thank you very much._

_Dumbledore._

_P.S. I enjoy Licorice Wands._

Emma, who had been reading over my shoulder said, "What does the P.S. mean?"

"It's the password to get into his office. I guess I'd better go." I went up to the front ignoring James questioning glare on my back. I showed McGonagall the note and she nodded and went back to her book.

I walked to his office quickly, hoping not to have any run-ins again. I got there in a record time and said the password to the stone gargoyles guarding either side of the door. I knocked on the door and heard a voice inside say, "Enter." I pushed my way through and the first thing I saw was Fawkes, the beautiful phoenix who looked as if he was in his prime time. I then looked to Dumbledore's desk and saw, to my great surprise, Petunia, my older sister.

Before I could stop myself I said, "Tuney? What are.. Er I mean, Petunia? Why are you at Hogwarts?" But she steadily ignored me, which is what I had expected but could still feel the pinch of the hurt as it hit me. I looked to Dumbledore then, hoping that he would at least answer me.

"Lily, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but last night, Death Eaters swarmed your house. They were hoping to capture your parents to be able to use them as bait to get you. Unfortunately, or fortunately, however you look at it, your mother and stepfather decided to fight. Your stepfather managed to shoot one Death Eater with that little weapon thing, oh yes, a gun. But I am sad to inform you that your parents were murdered by Voldemort's followers last night. Your dear sister managed to escape death simply because she was at a friend's house and not home. I am very sorry to tell you this and offer my deepest condolences. I will understand if you would like to take the rest of the week off. You can have more time than that if you need. Also, I am here to talk whenever you need me." He looked at me sadly, expecting me to say something but I couldn't. I was completely shocked. My parents were dead. I would never see them again. Never hear my mom laugh while she was cooking dinner or see my stepdad do the crossword across from me while I ate my breakfast. For the past nine years my step dad has been in the family. He basically counted as my real dad, who had died when I was barely seven years old. So many memories raced through my head as I looked back on my childhood. I'd never see my parents again. Unbidden, the tears leaped to my eyes. I jumped to my feet, nodded to Dumbledore, and raced down the stairs. I took off at a sprint, ignoring the looks of all my classmates, now that class was over. Without meaning to, I ran right into The Maraudars and Emma, Mary, and Alice. The tears were pouring down my face now. I tried to get past them but Sirius and James were holding my arms in place. Even at a time like this, I couldn't help but realize it was the first time I had seen Sirius without the sparkle in his eyes.

"Le-let me g-go." I managed to stutter out. However, their only reaction was to grip me tighter.

"Lily, what's wrong? What's happened?" Remus looked very concerned which only made me cry harder. But I needed to get away from them. I couldn't do this. I took out my wand and nonverbally stunned James and Sirius and before the others could react, I raced away, towards who knows where. I finally stopped in a deserted passageway and with a jolt I realized it was the same passageway where James and I had kissed. I sunk to the floor and wrapped my arms around my knees. The tears came freely now and I let myself sob and sob until it looked like I would never stop. Before long though, I realized that someone had appeared at the end of the hallway. It was James, of course, and he had the map in his hands.

"Lily, I, I talked to Professor Dumbledore and he told me what happened. I used the map to find you." He walked over to me and sat down next to me. I was still crying but seeing him looking at me sent me into another round of tears. I hated when people saw me being weak. I put my face into my knees and started sobbing, great racking sobs, making my whole body shake. James wrapped his arms around me and I finally just let myself sink into his arms. He held me there as I cried for what seemed like eternity. He just sat there, not saying a word, occasionally stroking my hair. After a long while, the tears finally ran out. I laid there against James, not saying anything. Slowly though, I extracted myself from his arms and, ashamed, looked away from him. Two slow tears leaked out from my eyes and rolled down my face. I put my hands up, surprised that I could still cry, and began to wipe them away. But James got there first. He took his hands and gently wiped away the tears. He left his hands there, but I slowly pushed them off with my own.

"I-I, can't do t-this anymore. I-I'm with M-Michael. I'm s-sorry." and with that stuttering statement, I stood up and walked away. These new tears that were foreign to me gave way right when I turned the corner. Whatever feelings I had been developing with James needed to stop. He was my best friend. That was it. We both needed to believe that or nothing could work. I had once told James that cheating was the worst thing that could happen but I hadn't been realizing that I had begun to cheat anyway, which was unacceptable. I didn't want to do that to Michael. So I needed to give up James. The temptation was too strong. My parents had been together for more than twenty years before they.. I wanted that with someone. And no matter who it was with, they were never going to get hurt by me. So I needed to start treating my relationships the same way. But as the revelation came to life and I accepted two things, my heart started to ache. I wouldn't know until it was healed, that it had just broken. But two things I was sure of. My parents were gone, and they weren't coming back. So I needed to accept that and move on, because they wouldn't want me to be hung up on their deaths. Of that I was sure of. And the other, what ever feelings I had thought were developing with James, were done.

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**A/N: I'm so so so so so so sorry for the long wait. I've been on vacation the past two weeks and have had no internet connection what so ever. Chapter eight should be coming up very soon. I hope you liked this one. Please please please review and i might just give you a shout out (: *wink wink* Olivetreehugger. You've never failed to help me by your reviews. Thanks guys!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns these characters bla bla bla, you know the drill.**

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As I continued walking I realized I had made my way to the front of Dumbledore's office. "Licorice Wands." I muttered to the gargoyles who automatically let me pass. I knocked and heard the familiar Enter.

I walked into the room and wasn't surprised to find Petunia gone. As if Dumbledore read my mind he said, "She left shortly after you did. She left you this message. I didn't read it of course." He handed me a letter.

_Dear Lily,_

_I blame you for their deaths. I hope you know that. If you hadn't gone of to that school none of that could have happened. Mother's will left me the house. But left you many possessions. Dumbledore told me that he'd have them shipped to you tomorrow. Also I wanted you to know that Vernon and I have decided to get married. You are not invited. Nor do I wish to have any correspondence with you after this letter. When you get out of that wretched school of yours, I hope you know that you will not be welcome back home. I'm sorry it has to be this way._

_Petunia._

As I finished reading the letter, new tears started falling down my face. But embarrassed because of Dumbledore I hastily wiped them away.

"Professor, do you mind if I carry on with lessons tomorrow? I see no reason to have to fall behind in school." He looked at me with sympathy.

"Of course Lily. Whatever you wish." And bade him a farewell and left quickly. As I was on my way back to the Head's Dorm, I saw Michael in the hallway. Before he could even say a word, I had pressed my lips to his. After a few seconds I broke apart and handed him Petunia's letter. He read it quickly and then put his arms around me. I didn't feel as comfortable as I did with James. I didn't fit just right into his arms, but I shoved that thought aside and just let Michael hold me.

We stayed that way for a while and then I slowly withdrew. He looked down at me. "I'm so very sorry Lily. You didn't deserve that." I nodded and took his hand. We walked back to the head's dorm together and he kissed me gently outside of the door. I waved slightly and muttered the password to the Dragon Rider. The door swung open and I stepped inside the room. I walked slowly up to my room, not caring if James was in his or not. I walked into the bathroom and started up the huge tub. Playing with all the random dials, I finally came up with a concoction that had many bubbles and smelled like lavender, which matched my shampoo. I took off my clothes and didn't bother looking in the mirror. I knew I would look like a huge mess. I slipped into the tub and felt my body relax. Oblivious to the world, I let myself go in the water. It felt so nice, slippery and warm. I didn't know how long I spent in there but I soon fell asleep. I awoke to a slight knock on the door coming from James' room. I looked down at the tub and saw that it was still filled with bubbles, covering myself.

"You can come in." I called out hesitantly. I watched the door handle turn and saw James walk in slowly.

"I have to brush my teeth." he said instantly, like it was the first thing that had appeared in his head.

"Ok, that's fine." I replied. He walked over to the sink and pulled out his toothbrush. After brushing his teeth for a few minutes he put the toothbrush and his toothpaste away and came and conjured up a chair. He pulled it closer to the tub and sat on it. He hadn't looked at me the whole time.

"Lily, there's something I need to talk to you about. What you said, back in the passageway, do you mean we can't be friends anymore? Because I don't know if I can do that. Not be friends, I mean. You're my best friend." He finally looked me in the eye.

"No James. I just, I've been feeling some things that I shouldn't be feeling towards you and it was making me feel that I wasn't being fair to Michael. I just meant that I can't to this. The almost too good friends, the shower, you're bed. I just can't do that to Michael. Do you get that?" I looked up at him hesitantly.

"No, I do get that. But answer me this Lily. You just said that you were feeling some feelings towards me. Has that gone away now? Because if it has, then I don't know what to do. I've made it clear to you about my feelings. But your feelings come first here because I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make sure your happy. And if what makes you happy is Michael, then that's fine. But just know, that you can't get rid of me. I can hide my feelings easy. That's not the problem here. But you can't ask me to leave your life. Because I can't be that self-sacrificing. So call me selfish, but I'll be here. Through everything. Because whether you like it or not, you're my best friend. And I want to be there for you. You helped me through my parents death in ways you don't even realize. So now it's my turn. I'm here for you, right now. And I always will be. That's a promise. And I'm sorry. I never got to meet them, but I'm sure your parents were great people, after all, they raised you." he ended his monologue at that and fresh tears sprung to my eyes.

"Thank you, James. For being my best friend. And thank you for being you. And you're already helping me. Trust me. And yes, I have¾er, had feelings for you. But I'm with Michael. And that's, t-that's what I want." I couldn't meet his eyes as I said this, I didn't want to see the pain there.

"Ok then. And Lily, I can wait." With that, he got up, vanished the chair and walked out the door, leaving me more confused than ever. I got out of the tub and grabbed a towel. I looked down at my scabs and found they were going away quickly because of the cream Madame Pompfrey had been giving me. I brushed my teeth and washed my face quickly before changing into my pajamas. I walked over to my bed and saw there was a single bottle and a note laying on my pillow.

_Lily, I went and got this with Sirius and Alice today. Madame Pompfrey said it should help you fall asleep. Know that we're all here for you if you need us._

_Love, Remus._

_P.S. Sirius says he forgives you for stunning him._

A small smile reached my lips and, shocked, I reached up and touched them. I had smiled already. I really was going to be ok.

I slipped under the covers and grabbed the bottle. I drank it quickly, hoping it wouldn't taste horribly and discovered it tasted like sugar. With the happy thoughts that I had such good friends, I drifted off to sleep.

The next thing I knew I was awake. I looked at my watch and saw that I had a whole hour before I needed to be in the Great Hall for breakfast but I knew I wouldn't be able to fall asleep. I walked into the bathroom and checked James room to see he was fast asleep. I turned the shower on quickly and stepped in while it was still cold. I washed my hair, recited the no-body hair spell and then let myself relax under the water. My new tears blended in with the shower. Today was going to be tough. But I didn't want people to think I was weak at all. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself. I brushed my teeth in the sink since I had time. After reciting a spell that made my long hair into light curls, I walked into my closet and got out a skirt, shirt, tie, stockings, shoes, and my robes. I heard the shower turn on from the bathroom and knew James was getting in. I put on my skirt, shirt, stockings, and tie. The robe would wait, because it was too hot in my room to have it on. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I had grown, surprisingly. My skirt was a little too short on my legs.

Looking in the mirror, I saw traces of my mother and father, who were now both gone. My father, of course, had been gone for more than ten years. I'd like to think that he was happy wherever he was now that my mother had joined him. My mother's eyes, nose, and lips. My father's ears and heart-shaped face. My mother's petite build. My father's flaming red hair. I smiled at that and tucked my hair behind my ears. The shower had stopped by this point and I went and knocked on the door. He didn't answer so I walked in. James wasn't in the bathroom either, so I went and knocked on his bedroom door.

"Come in!" I heard him say and then a huge fall. I rushed in to find him on the floor amidst a pile of clothes. He seemed to have fallen in the act of putting on his clothes. Seeing him look so pathetic on the ground in just pants with his shirt tangled around his arms and head I started to laugh. Actually laugh. Tears streaming down my face, I clutched my sides and sat down on the bed laughing and laughing. After awhile, the laughing stopped. He was looking at me with contempt. "I'm glad that someone finds this situation funny. Now come help me get this shirt on right. I'm pretty sure I'm stuck.

I rushed over to him and reached up to get his shirt off. It was definitely stuck. I walked behind him and started to unbutton the shirt near his neck. "You are a struggle. Seriously. How did the buttons get all the way back here?"

"Don't ask, I have no idea." he says. I finally got all the buttons undone and pulled it off of him. I accidentally let go of it though so I leaned down to get the shirt. When I came back up he looked slightly shell shocked but I ignored him, wondering what had shocked him. I handed him the shirt. "Thanks. Are you ready to go down to breakfast? I mean, we're a little early, but I have nothing else to do." he asks.

"Sure, that's fine, just let me go get my robes." and then as I walk back to my room, I realized that my skirt had ridden up even further, making it way too short. No wonder he had reacted when I bent over. Merlin's beard that's embarrassing. I grabbed my robes and threw them on quickly, fixing my hair as I walked back to his room. He was slipping on his shoes. We departed his room together and walked down to the Great Hall. I was slightly nervous about people's reactions. I mean, the news was sure to have spread by now. It always did at Hogwarts. Not to mention it would be in the papers. I was also embarrassed about how my friends had seen me cry yesterday.

"Don't worry," James said, as if reading my mind. "No one should treat you any different. And if they do, they'll have me and Sirius to deal with." He reached out and playfully shoved me. I shoved him back but my smile fell as we reached the doors. There weren't that many people in the Great Hall yet, but still enough for me to freak out. It got slightly hushed as I walked in and I tried to ignore it by walking quickly to my seat, pulling James along with me. Our friends were already there waiting for us.

"Hey guys. Lily did you get that potion we left for you?" Remus said gently. Looking at me like a concerned friend but not full of pity, for which I was glad.

"Yes, thanks so much guys. That was a great idea." I replied, helping myself to some toast and pumpkin juice.

"My pleasure, Lilykins. Is there anything you'd like to say to me? An apology perhaps?" Sirius, of course. He looked at me jokingly but I could feel his foot tap mine lightly under the table, which I knew was his way of reassuring me it would be okay.

"Oh Snuffles. I am so sorry that I was forced to stun you. Next time, you should try for better reflexes." I winked at him and he faked being hurt by my statement.

"So Lily," Mary said grabbing my hand, "We decided that we're, the girls I mean, besides Emma, are going to go to Hogsmeade and get dresses this weekend. Are you in? I'll buy you a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks." She raised her eyebrows up and down at me making me smile.

"Of course I'll go. I need a dress anyway. Emma, you still have to show us yours. I'm so excited to see it." she agreed half-heartedly and I knew that the idea of a school dance was horrific to her. Just then there was a tap on my back. I turned around to see Michael but not before I saw Sirius give Remus a disgusted look. I kicked him under the table quickly before turning. "Hey! How are you?" I asked.

"Just great. I was wondering if you wanted to go for a quick walk before Potions?" he asked me. I nodded and grabbed his hand before waving to my friends and walking off with him. "So, how are you doing? You look great." he said.

"Oh, I'm a lot better than yesterday. And thank you." I bumped my hip against his making him stumble then laugh.

"So I was thinking. I overheard you talking to Mary about getting dresses. Do you think afterwards you'd like to join me for a butterbeer?" he asked me.

"Oh, yes sure. As long as it's not Madame Puddifoot's. I pretended to gag which made him laugh again.

"Whatever you say Lily." We walked and had small talk the rest of the way to Potions. Slughorn greeted me at the door and offered his condolences. I thanked him in response and took my seat next to Michael. We talked about Quiddich for a while until the class filled up.

"Change of plans today class. We're switching seats. There was a nasty incident between two of you, not naming names, and they can not remain sitting next to each other so I decided to switch it all up. Will all of you please stand up and come to the front of the room?" We all got up and Michael and I shared a look of sadness mingled with annoyance from having to separate in the only class we shared.

As we were all reseated, I still hadn't been called. Michael had been called almost first to sit next to a scary girl who seemed to be bigger than Hagrid. James was sitting by Emma. Mary next to a Ravenclaw who I didn't know the name of. Alice, luckily, got to sit by her friend Sarah. My name was finally called and I sat down. Slughorn then called the next person who was going to sit by me. I crossed my fingers under the table hoping it wouldn't be someone horrid.

"Sirius Black." Sirius gave a huge grin and seemed to bound across the room to sit next to me. I rolled my eyes but couldn't hide a smile. He sat down next to me and bumped my shoulder with his.

"We're seat buddies! How exciting." wiggling his eyebrows suggestively at me he said, "I guess this means we'll have to have study dates together. I'll be able to teach you a lot Lilykins." he winked at me after drawing the emphasis on a lot.

"Oh, of course Snuffles. How could I resist your charm?" he shrugged nonchalantly at me and then we lapsed into silence as Slughorn started his lesson. Throughout the class, Sirius kept me entertained and kept the focus away from my parents. It was heavenly to not have to think about them for more than an hour. Sirius kept up a lightly banter as we mixed our potion (Hiccupping Solution), and even had me laughing a few times. This drew slightly irritated looks from Michael and I knew I would have to talk about my relationship with Sirius to him later.

Once the lesson was over, Sirius walked over to James and Remus after saying goodbye to me. Peter of course, was absent, having not gotten his O.W.L. Speaking of Peter, no one had really seen him lately. He always seemed to be rushing to be somewhere, or completely out of the conversation. Oh well. It's just Peter.

I walked over to Michael and took his hand. He walked me to my next class after shushing my protest of him being late.

"So, about this dance. You need to make sure to tell me what color your dress is. Because my tie does have to match." he laughed lightly at this and gripped my hand tighter. I thought a second before answering.

"Well you can rule out pink or red, or purple. Those clash horribly with my hair. Hmm, probably a light blue or green. It all depends what I'll find. I'll be able to tell you after this weekend when we go shopping."

"Ok, that works. And you are going with me right? I don't need to worry about that Sirius Black stealing you away from me?" He tried to look stern but failed epically.

"Of course I'm going with you. I know it looks like Sirius and I are more than friends, it's just how our friendship works. I promise, there is nothing going on there. That's just…no." he smiled at my slight grimace.

"Ok good. Because to be honest, I wouldn't have to beat him up." he flexed his biceps at me and I smiled but couldn't bring myself to laugh. By this point, we had walked all of the way to Herbology. He kissed me lightly goodbye and I walked in the door. I waited for about two minutes until the rest of my fellow Gryffindors came in. Emma, Sirius, and I joined up to tackle the plant in front of us. We were suppose to be getting the pods out from the middle, but the very large tentacles and thorns did not look inviting. James, Alice, and Mary looked just as wary of it. Herbology passed quickly though, resulting in a couple of cuts. After Herbology, the rest of the day passed quickly also. I was in the Head's dorm doing my homework in one of the comfy armchairs by the fire when two people walked in. It was James and Peter, and they appeared to be arguing.

"Look Pete. You can't just keep sneaking around. We get that something's going on but you could at least tell us. Is something wrong with your mom? Because this is getting ridiculous. And why did I see you talking to Avery and Mulciber the other morning? You shouldn't be hanging around with the likes of them."

"J-james, I just, I have some stuff going on. It's not a b-big deal. It h-has nothing to do with y-you or Sirius and the others. I j-just need some space for a while." Peter seemed to be highly intimidated but I could tell that James was just concerned.

"Look, Pete. I'm worried about you. Hanging out with the wrong crowd, lying, sneaking out of the dorms at night. Didn't know about that one did you? Sirius caught you twice now. Is it a girl or something?"

"No no James. It's not a girl. Look, I'm fine. Just leave me alone." And Peter, with a scathing glance at me which I had no idea what was about, left.

James sighed and sat down on the couch placing his head in his hands. He hadn't seem to realized I was in the room. I cleared my throat quietly and he nearly jumped out of his skin. "Merlin, Lily. You gave me quite a fright. I didn't realize you were in here." His eyes were wide and his hair was crazier than ever.

I got up from my arm chair and stood in front of him. "You're hair may be the most stubborn thing I've ever witnessed." I took my hands and tried, unsuccessfully, to pat in down. But what I hadn't realized was how soft his hair would feel. It was the perfect run-your-fingers-through kind of hair. So soft. I couldn't help but snake my fingers through the soft down and then, realizing what I was doing, pulled back. He seemed just as wide-eyed as I was, but I thought it was best to just ignore my mishap. "Well, that didn't work. Oh well. It's actually growing on me, to tell you the truth."

He smiled at that and gestured for me to sit down next to him, which I did. I made sure to leave at least an inch between our thighs so they wouldn't touch. We sat in comfortable silence for awhile.

"So, how are you doing? Is it getting.. Any easier?" I knew instantly he was talking about my parents. It didn't offend me at all like it sometimes had today with all of the other people asking questions.

"It's getting better. I'm finding myself laughing. It helps to be around you, and Sirius, and Michael. The girls are great too of course. It just, I don't know. Sometimes I feel like it was, not a good thing obviously, but at least they went down fighting you know? I mean my step dad did manage to shoot one. At least they weren't tortured to death. That would be horrible." I shuddered at the thought.

"Shoot. What does that mean?" he seemed utterly confused and it made me smile. Of course, he'd grown up in a wizarding family.

"Uhm, well it's a gun. A gun is a type of weapon that shoots bullets. They're very deadly if you hit the right spot. So like basically a wand that only kills, and hurts a lot. They're very dangerous in the wrong hands but Steve's been hunting for more than twenty years, so he is, I mean was," but I couldn't continue with the sentence. For a second it had felt like my loving step dad was still alive. Brought into my secrets by falling in love with my mother.

I started crying softly and James, always the gentleman, wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me in closer to him. I cried into his shirt for a while and then lifted my head. "I keep expecting them to just pop u-up and be there. I-I don't get how they can just be g-gone. I'm trying not t-to look weak but it's so hard. They were the greatest parents anyone could ask for. And now I k-keep thinking about my wedding. I have no one to walk m-me down the isle, and that s-sounds so selfish but it's just all I can think about." he let me continue on my stuttering rant and then he pulled me in closer and began to stroke my hair.

"It'll get better, Lily. Things always have to get worse before they can get better. You've already been through the worse. So now it's time for the better. I, I promise." he fell quiet after that and his steady hand running through my hair made me slowly drift off to sleep. The last thing I heard before dropping into unconsciousness was James whispering, "You're beautiful." and pressing his lips to the top of my head.

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**A/N: told you it would be up fast! Please review, it might be awhile before chapter 9 is up though. I haven't started writing it and i'm kind of very busy this week. Hopefully but tuesday it will be up though. Much love!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is the mightly writer, i'm just the lowly servant.**

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I woke up very disorientated. I could have sworn I was on the couch, but I was in my bed, under the covers. _James, of course. _I thought to myself. He must have moved me. I stretched and sat up, checking my watch. I had about half an hour before needing to be down to breakfast to meet the girls. With a jolt, I realized that it was finally the weekend, and we were going dress shopping for the dance which was just one week away. I got up from my bed and stumbled into the shower, still cold, which very effectively and quickly woke me up. Washing my hair I absentmindedly thought about the dress I was going to wear. I knew it would be a legit ball gown. They always were for the dance. So that meant floor length, and possible push up bra. I groaned quietly to myself. I'd be so much more comfortable in sweat pants, but that was impossible. Finally done with my shower, I grabbed a towel, and after making sure it was secure around myself, knocked on James door. I heard a slight grunt in response so I pushed open the door.

He was sprawled on the bed with his arms and legs randomly sticking out from the blankets. I walked over to him and said, "It's time to get up. Come on, you told me yesterday to wake you up when I got out of the shower, so I have. Now get up." and with that I pulled the blanket off of him. He groaned and in response grabbed me around the waist and pulled me down on the bed, and on top of him.

"James! Let me go. I'm in a towel for Merlin's sake." I was pinching and poking him wherever I could.

Opening his eyes for the first time, he took in my slightly disheveled appearance. The towel, wet hair, and wild eyes. He pushed me off of him abruptly and I couldn't help but notice he grabbed a blanket and threw it over his midsection. _What is that about?_ Not choosing to dwell on it however, I simply just got up and walked back to my room. I heard him get up and get into the shower so I figured it'd be safe to change into a comfortable pair of skinny jeans and a white v-neck t-shirt. Over the t-shirt I wore a nice, emerald green sweater to match my eyes. I then dried my hair, realizing that I had forgotten to when I got out of the shower. I could hear James now, having gotten out of the shower. He was probably changing too, so I didn't bother to go in his room. I went into my closet and grabbed my black peacoat along with a pair of green gloves, hat, and scarf, figuring it would be cold. I looked out the window and saw many people already walking down to Hogsmeade, getting stopped by Filch, who was checking them for dark items. _It doesn't really make sense that he's checking them now. Won't they be bringing stuff in, not out?_ I noticed they all seemed very cold, so I figured it'd be practical to take all of the heavy duty winter gear.

I walked into the bathroom and banged on James door. I heard him utter a quick come in and I walked through. He seemed to be thinking along the same lines that I had and had a large coat slung over his arm, along with a scarf and hat.

"You ready to eat?" I asked him. He nodded in answer so we walked down the stairs together. To my surprise, however, when I opened the portrait hole door, Michael was right outside, waiting for me.

"Hey babe." he said and kissed me softly. Confused, I kissed him back, but my eyes were open and I was unfocused. James huffed quietly and walked away before I could even say a work. I pulled away, but not wanting to hurt his feelings, grabbed his hand. He didn't seem to mind at all and squeezed tightly.

"Hey. How are you?" we made slight small talk but I was feeling slightly awkward with all of my winter gear hanging off my other arm.

"Oh, wow. What a prat I've been. Here, let me take your coat." smiling, I let him take my things.

"Thanks. They were getting slightly heavy." We walked the rest of the way down to the great hall and after a quick kiss went our separate ways to sit at our respective tables. I sat down in between Sirius and Mary, and glancing a sneak peek at James, saw he did not look very happy.

"Hey guys. Are you excited to go dress shopping?" Mary and Alice practically squealed in delight while Emma snorted into her oatmeal. We made that our main topic of conversation for a while, and then at the end of breakfast, we all got up and started the long and bitterly cold trek down to Hogsmeade. With a jolt, I realized that Michael still had my coat and other things. Looking towards the Ravenclaw table, I saw immediately that he wasn't there, and neither were my things. "Merlin's beard. I don't have my coat. Michael does." the girls expressed their sympathy by groaning.

"Here, just wear mine. My jacket's super warm anyway. I'd been debating not wearing a coat anyway." James reached out his coat and scarf.

"Oh, no I couldn't. You need it." I tried to refuse his offer but he seemed to not take no for an answer. "Oh, all right. But you're keeping your hat and things. I'm perfectly fine with using the pockets for gloves." he agreed to that so I took the coat from him. It was rather large and I realized he was quite a bit bigger than the others, except for possibly Sirius. Not big as in fat at all, just very fit and tall. When we got to the front doors I put on the coat. My hands were swallowed up in the sleeves and the coat almost reached halfway down my thighs. It was incredibly warm however, and it smelled fantastic. I seemed to be swallowed up in it though, and I lost track of the conversation because I was concentrating on not falling. Thank Merlin it hadn't snowed yet. If there was ice, I'd have already fallen more than once.

It was bitterly cold however, and without saying anything we all walked to the Three Broomsticks, knowing we all needed the warmth. We got a table in the back, away from the crowds, but unfortunately, the booth was rather small, and I was squeezed in between James and Sirius.

"How does this always happen to me?" I muttered viciously because of my seating arrangement. James smiled at my comment but Sirius didn't.

"I'm appalled. How can you not want to be squished up next to me?" And with that he lifted me up calmly and sat me on his lap. "There, that's much better. Now James and I have room, and you, Lilykins, can be controlled for once." He wrapped his arms around me and no matter how much I squirmed, I couldn't break his grip.

"Bloody hell Sirius. When you let me go I am going to-" but my sentence was cut off by the arrival of the butterbeer, which I was very glad for. I convinced Sirius to let me go, promising I wouldn't touch him, and sipped my Butterbeer gratefully.

After two rounds of butterbeer, the girls all stood up, besides Emma, who was going to spend the day with the boys. We bade goodbye to them all and began our way to the dress store: Magical Dresses for Magical Nights. I snorted at the title but the other girls somehow thought it was slightly romantic. The saps.

We walked in and the heat felt lovely. We hung up our coats on the coat rack and then we walked forward where it seemed three identical assistants were waiting for us.

"Hello girls! Our names are Auden, Charlotte, and Taryn. We will be helping you pick out your dresses for the ball." The middle one, Taryn, according to the name tag, walked forward and grabbed my hand. Auden went to Alice and Charlotte went to Mary. We looked at each other confused.

"How did you know we were coming?" Mary spoke up.

Auden, just as chipper as her sister replied, "A sir Sirius Black called in and requested that we be fully prepared. We've dressed his family numerous of times, though he doesn't seem to enjoy their presence much, but that's besides the point. The Blacks are one of our best customers, so we are required to treat you just like the Blacks."

"Well, I guess that's understandable then." Alice said. They squealed in delight and dragged us off to three huge fitting rooms with mirrors all around.

"We'll be right back!" The three triplets said at the same time and seemed to zoom away. We looked at each other confusedly. But before we could even begin to speak, the three were back with loads of dresses in their hands.

"Ok, here's what we're doing. You'll go in, get the dress on, admire yourself, then step out of the curtains, show your friends and us, get their advice, and ours, and then go back in and repeat! That way, we all get to see everything. Okey doke? Lets get started!" She was a little too hyper for my taste but I took the dresses from her anyway and stepped inside.

The first one I tried on was a deep burgundy color that clashed horribly with my hair and flattened the little curves I actually had. It was also a little too revealing for my taste, with a criss-cross back. It did have a beautiful full skirt however. I stepped outside of the curtain and soon after the other two did also. Alice had on a pretty blue dress that matched her eyes well but cut very unflatteringly. Mary had on a purple dress that was just horrendous. We all burst out laughing and Auden cheerfully suggested we try on the next one. I walked back inside the large curtained area.

I slipped out of the burgundy dress and grabbed the next one I saw. It was a deep, winter green color that was beautiful. But as I slipped it on, I noticed it was not the dress for me at all. It was way to revealing for one, with actually slits down the middle that I hadn't realized were there when it was off the hanger. Someone could pull this off, but not me. I stepped outside and Mary was already there.

Right away I knew Mary had the perfect dress. It was strapless and dark red, with flower bunches drawn down the whole side. It accented her curves perfectly and made her look absolutely stunning.

"Oh, Mary. It's absolutely perfect. You don't even need to try on anymore. It's the dress for you. I'm positive." I said grinning. The triplets added in their agreement and Alice stepped out in a pretty, but not gorgeous pink dress. I shook my head at her and she nodded in agreement.

"Ok, if you really think so.. I like it too. I'm getting it." Mary looked very excited at this prospect and went up with Charlotte to buy the dress. Alice and I went back into the curtained rooms. I grabbed a blue one next. It was a light blue, like the sky, and automatically reminded me of the Muggle fairytale Cinderella. Smiling to myself I removed the green dress and slid on the blue one. It was like satin and silk all at the same time. It felt amazing on my skin. I turned around and looked in the mirror, knowing that it was the one for me. Surprisingly, it didn't look horrible with my red hair, and it sparkled and shone when I moved in the light. I smiled to myself and stepped out of the room. The three triplets gasped. Mary put a hand to her mouth.

"Oh, Lily. You look fantastic. Just like a fairytale. It's perfect." Mary said. She looked at my dress in awe and reached up to feel the fabric. "Merlin Lily. You look great." She looked so excited.

"Lily! You look wonderful." Alice added her assessment and she walked out in a simple black one that did nothing for her figure.

"Thanks Alice. I'm going to get this one." Alice nodded and went back in to try on more. Mary sat back down on the comfortable seats still holding her bag.

I walked up to the front with Taryn and paid for my dress. Surprisingly, it wasn't that expensive.

"Oh! I almost forgot. I have the perfect shoes for that dress." Taryn said and started bustling around underneath the counter.

"Don't tell me they're made of glass now." I joked with her. She looked up with a confused look.

"That would be completely inappropriate." Taryn said, not getting my joke. Must not be a muggle-born then. I shrugged and she pulled out the most gorgeous pair of silver heels I had ever seen. They matched the sequences on my dress perfectly. I sat down at a chair and she came over to me and slipped the shoes on, a perfect fit. "There. Absolutely perfect." I nodded in agreement.

We made our way back to the dressing rooms just as Alice was walking out. Right away I knew this was the right purchase. It was a purple, satin dress that bunched up at one hip then slowly drew out until the end. Strapless and sequined in all the right places, she looked wonderful. We all discussed how it was just right for her and she walked up to pay.

Being a very successful trip, we got our winter gear back on and thanked the assistants over and over again.

"No need to thank us." Taryn said happily.

"You were some of the best customers yet." said Auden, finishing her sentence.

"Yes, for sure. Come back again soon!" Charlotte said, and then ushered us out into the fury cold. It was a bitter shock compared to the warmth of the store and we all agreed to walk back to the castle quickly. We reached the gates soon enough and after pausing for Filch to check us with the Dark Detectors, we walked inside.

I bade them goodbye and went off to my own common room. I walked inside happier than I had felt in a while. James was sitting by the fire, shivering.

"Oh, Merlin James. You must be freezing. Here, have your coat back. I'm so sorry!" I rushed over to him and succeeded in taking off his jacket. I draped it over his shoulders and continued to shake.

"Ugh, Sirius poured a whole tub of freezing water down my shirt. I can't get warm! This is horrible." he shivered some more.

I thought quickly for a moment and then whispered a spell. Automatically his clothes dried and he stopped shivering.

"How, how did you do that?" he looked up at me amazed.

"I'll never tell my secrets James Potter. I'm going to go take a bubble bath. And no peeking at my dress." I looked at him sternly and made him swear he wouldn't. I walked up into my room and set the dressing items on my bed. I walked into the bathroom and started the bath, added lavender scents and bubbles, tons and tons of bubbles. I waited a while for it to get warm, then I shed my clothes and hopped in. I sank down in the water and exhaled. It felt lovely. I laid in there for a while just relaxing until my feet most likely resembled prunes. I hopped out quickly and threw on a tank top and a pair of pajama shorts. I slipped into some fuzzy slippers and walked down to the common room to find that James wasn't there. I sat down in one of the armchairs by the fire after grabbing one of my favorite, cheesy romance novels. Nicholas Sparks, perfect.

I started the book and had quickly made my way through half of it in less than an hour. I was draped over the armchair by this point with my feet off of one end and my head resting on the other. I had completely finished the book, crying by this point, dumb romance novels, and checked my wash. With a jolt, I realized it was past ten. _I must have spent longer in the tub than I thought. _I thought to myself. My stomach then grumbled loudly and I sighed, realizing I had missed dinner.

I went up to my room and grabbed a robe. Walking out of the common room door, I made my way down to the kitchens, using a long route so no one would see me in my fuzzy slippers. After tickling the pear and walking inside, I was bombarded by tiny house elves, eager to help me. After requesting a table and just a plain dinner and expressing my thanks, I got many, "No need to thank us miss, we love helping miss Evans.", I was ushered to a small table with a candle in the middle, big enough for two. In no time, a basket of bread and cinnamon butter. Just as I was about to take my first bite I heard a my name shouted from the door way.

"Lily! How grand to see you here. What a coincidence. Do you care if I join you? I also missed dinner." None other than Sirius Black was standing at the door with a grin bigger than his face. I rolled my eyes and gestured for him to sit down, which he did with a flourish once the house elves provided another chair.

He took a piece of bread and lathered it with butter before seemingly swallowing it in one bite. After swallowing, he started on the next one.

"Well you were definitely not kidding there. You seem more than a little hungry." I teased him and he tisked at me.

"Ah, Lilykins. I'd ask you what you were doing while missing dinner but I'm sure I can guess. According to your attire, I'm assuming you were curled up in an armchair, sobbing your eyes out reading a book. After taking a long and relaxing bubble bath of course." he winked at me and gestured to my slippers.

I looked down at my slippers dejectedly. "Merlin Sirius. You could do that professionally." He thanked me. "But, I'm almost positive I know what you were up to also. Looking at your slightly disheveled appearance, a skewed clothing, wild eyes, swollen lips, and messed up hair, I would dare to guess that you have spent the last few hours in a broom closest."

He snorted before replying. "Yes, but that's cheating. We all know that a broom closest is where I spend most of my time anyway." he winked at me.

"Oh of course. Whose the lucky girl this time? Please don't tell me she's some fourth year." I rolled my eyes and him and he grinned.

"Fine, then I won't tell you." he laughed at my appalled expression. "Nah, I'm just kidding Lilykins. Allison Laurenson. Sixth year if I remember correctly."

"Well least she's not some fourteen year old falling for your eyes and smile. There's no turning back once that happens." I ate another piece of bread.

"Yes, well Lily. We all know you've already fallen for my charms in more ways than one. I do still believe Peter thinks we have shagged. If I remember correctly, you're one of the few I haven't even kissed actually, and that's saying something. You should be proud of your resistance." he smiled at me and then clapped in delight because the house elves had just brought out our food.

They each gave us chicken parmesan with multiple breadsticks and a side salad. Sirius dug in right away. I decided to eat my salad first, because it looked delicious. Just as I was about to ask for a refill on my Pumpkin Juice, it filled instantly. I thanked the elves and they all but fell over in joy.

"So, Sirius. I haven't thanked you yet for arranging our shopping arrangements today. The three assistants were very…animated, to say the least." I said.

"You can say that again. But the oldest one, Taryn, now she was a great kisser. She really seemed to be able to get her tongue-"

"Sirius! I'm eating here! That's disgusting. Please do not continue." I interrupted him before he could go into any more details about his…life.

"As you wish Lily dear." he winked at me again and I started in on my chicken, which was fantastic.

"You know, out of all of you Maraudars, I feel like you're the one who doesn't take this war seriously. It just seems that you really don't care. You know?" I said.

"We Lily, as we know, I'm always Sirius." he winked at his attempt of humor. "But you're right. I think it's just because it's the best way to deal with it. I'm countering despair and gloom with laughter and good spirits. It's just the best way for me. It also doesn't help that my family is a bunch of no good, rotten.." he trailed off in even worse curse words that I would never repeat.

"What do you mean? I didn't know you have problems with your family?" I looked at him uncertainly. The usually glint in his eyes had hardened into a glare, but not directed at me. He seemed to be glaring right through to his family.

"My family, has a way of viewing people. Like right now, they would be screaming at me if they knew I was just conversing with a muggle-born. I don't understand what's any different from you and me, other than the obvious, I'm a guy. But they seem to think that blood matters, greatly. And when I wasn't sorted into Slytherin, well that was a final straw for them. They disowned me last summer when I called them all, well you don't need to know those particular details. I've been living with James ever since. His parents were like my parents. They were the greatest. Now that James owns the house, we're just like roommates. His house is huge. Plenty of room." he let out a sigh from that. "I just, I don't share their views on things. And it just sucks to see my little brother, Regulus, you might know him, well I'm almost positive that he's a death eater. He won't even talk to me."

I put my hand on top of his. "I'm really sorry Sirius. No one deserves that. If it helps though, I don't have any place to live when I get out of here. My parents left the house to Petunia, my older sister. I haven't even realized that until a couple of minutes ago." I sat there, almost stupefied. I hadn't thought about that concept at all.

"Don't you worry Lily. Trust me, James will let you stay with us. I'm sure of it. He has like twenty extra rooms. You'll always have a place with us." I liked this side of Sirius. It was nice to see the compassionate side of him.

We spent the rest of the dinner talking about the ball, Quiddich, and just small things. Afterwards, I knew that I had just gotten much closer to Sirius, and was even more surprised to see that I was glad.

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**A/N: Hey guys! I'm sorry that there's not much fluff and interesting things going on, but i needed an intermission of sorts. I did add in some sirius though, my favorite character, so hopefully you enjoyed that. I'm sorry it's slightly shorter but as i said, i needed it in here. Next chapter is the whole ball and that's filled with alllll sorts of excitements. Read and review please, or else you might not get to see what happens next. Thanks!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns all of the characters, but I do own the plot.**

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The week before the ball fled by very fast. Classes were getting increasingly more difficult and my schedule was turning into slightly hectic to full front chaotic. Balancing prefect meetings, patrol, homework, and finding time to spend with Michael, I was exhausted. But as always, when you're busy, time flies by, so before I knew it, it was the day of the dance. Being a Saturday, I slept in, then started in on my homework so I wouldn't be stressed out during the ball. In a few hours I had finished, and not wanting to be bothered, I went to the kitchens for a quick lunch. After a bowl of tomato soup and grilled cheese, I went back upstairs to my room to get ready. As the day went on, my excitement increased. This ball was going to be perfect.

I showered slowly, savoring the hot water on my back. I got out after a while and put on a huge, fluffy white robe. Entering my closet, I pulled out the beautiful dress and heels. I dried my hair with magic and made it shape into soft curls cascading down my back. I looked at my watch and noticed I had about an hour before I was suppose to meet Michael by the Great Hall. I stood up from where I've been sitting by my bed and for one second felt an unwavering sense of panic. I sat down quickly and grabbed one of the posts connected to the bed. My head started to ache horribly and I felt like I was going to explode. From beneath my eyelids an image flickered. A little black haired boy, in a crib, defenseless. A flash of green light, and then nothing. I sat there, shivering for what seemed like hours but was more like a few moments. I slowly opened my eyes and took a deep breath. _That was so weird. _I thought to myself. But when I thought of the little child, my heart felt an unwavering tug of protection and love. _What is going on?_

After a few more minutes, I stood up and shook my head. Whatever it was, it's gone now, and I had things to do. Putting it out of my mind I sat down at the mirror and started to do the little bit of makeup I was going to wear. A slight amount of eyeliner, mascara, and eye shadow in all the right places, just like Mary taught me. Afterwards, I slid on my dress and magically zipped it up. Once again, I was amazed at how perfect it hugged my every curve and made me look like, well, a princess. I slipped on the shoes and practiced walking a few steps until I wasn't so wobbly. I then pinned half on my hair back in a slight half ponytail with two strands framing my face so my face wasn't completely covered by my cascade of hair. I looked in the mirror and once I was satisfied, I went to walk out the door.

James wasn't in the common room yet, so I kept walking down to the portrait hole. Just when I was pulling open the door, slightly behind schedule, James voice rung out from his room.

"Lily." I turned around and looked up at him. He looked stunning in a set of dark black dress robes and a blue tie. His hair was still disheveled around his face, but for once, it seemed to only add to the appeal. He seemed to be taking in my appearance as well. "Lily, you look…" He paused for a second. "beautiful." he said very quietly.

I smiled up at him. "Thank you. You look pretty great yourself." and just when I looked at him one more time, I was shocked. The little boy, the poor baby, looked exactly like him. "Uh, I, I need to go now."

I turned around and opened the portrait hole. "Lily, wait!" I heard him call behind me, but I was already out of the door. That had been so bizarre. Why did the little baby in my head look exactly like James and yet seemingly having my eyes? I walked quickly away from the portrait, hoping James wouldn't follow me. I made my way down quickly, passing multiple couples in fantastic gowns, many who waved and greeted me. I was too distracted to do more than a small wave in their direction. I needed to find Michael, but more importantly my friends. I needed to tell someone about this image I had seen. _Lily, calm down. You're just making a big deal out of this. I'm sure you just dozed off for a second. You don't need to tell your friends. _Convincing myself that I didn't need to do anything and just relax, I slowed down my walk slightly. I finally made my way to the entrance hall and looked up at all of the decorations. They were stunning.

There was snow falling lightly from the ceiling, ending slightly above our heads. There was garland and mistletoe wrapped around the entrance to the Great Hall. The floor was covered in a sparkly powder that would warm to the touch and didn't end on your clothes. There wasn't any visible light but there were soft beams that seemed to shiver as you walked through them. The air was soft and warm with a gentle breeze wafting through. Even though I wasn't in the Great Hall yet, I could smell the wonderful foods that had been prepared. I found Michael easily enough, he was waiting by the entrance. The Ball seemed to be in full swing already.

"Well don't you look great." Michael said, looking me up and down, making me slightly uncomfortable.

"Thanks, you look quite dashing yourself." I teased him lightly, trying to keep my calm. We grabbed hands and walked in together. I could just make out the stage and the Galloping Frogs performing a fast dance number. All of the tables were gone, except for one which was pushed to the side. There seemed to be food piling against every available space open. It all looked wonderful. There was a giant dance floor where most of the population was. There were also small tables all around the room. And then of course, the giant stage where the Galloping Frogs were screaming into the enchanted microphone. The decorations were even more lavishing in here. There was garland lining the walls and the night sky shined through from the ceiling as per usual. Except tonight, it had snowed for the first time this season so there was snow cascading down slowly. The whole effect was beautiful.

"Lily!" I heard multiple voices and turned around to see all of the girls and the Maraudars. After a chorus of, "You look fantastic!", "That dress is stunning!" , "How did you get your hair to do that?" and "Merlin you look amazing.", Michael turned to me and grabbed my arm.

"I'm going to go get us drinks. Do you want to meet me on the dance floor in about five minutes? Your drink will be waiting." he smiled down at me.

"Sure," slightly distracted I continued. "That sounds great. Thanks." he leaned down and before I knew it was kissing me full on the mouth. When he stopped he seemed to slightly smirk at James before walking away.

"Stupid prat." muttered Sirius. I didn't have the energy to respond to him so I just glared at him pointedly. He shrugged acting like an innocent schoolboy.

I was introduced to all of their dates and most of them seemed very nice, until I met James' date. She, I disliked from the very start. Her upturned nose made her look like she thought she was better than everyone else, and her body was popping out of her dress obviously. She was so obviously a… well.. Slut. I hated her.

"Let's go dance." said James, and grabbed his date. Everyone else walked over to the dance floor. I saw Michael and grabbed him from the crowd.

"Come on." I muttered. I pulled him up close to me and we started dancing. It wasn't some grind fest, which I was glad for. We basically just danced around for fun, shuffling back and forth to the Galloping Frogs. I looked over at my friends and saw Alice and Frank dancing slowly, even though it was a fast song. Sirius and his date were snogging insanely and he was pulling her off the dance floor over to a private booth in the corner. Remus was dancing like me, very silly and fun. I had liked his date when we were introduced. She had been very nice, yet quiet.

And then I looked at James.

Him and his "date' were so close together, seemingly molded together. They were snogging so passionately they seemed to be unable to separate. When I looked at James, so obviously interested in this Barbie doll, an emotion so foreign erupted inside of me. I was so intensely angry I stopped dancing in the middle of the floor and just stood there, swaying back and forth.

"Lily, are you all right?" Michael asked. Before he could say another word, I looked at him and grabbed his hand. I melded myself to him, with not an inch in between us. I put my lips to his and tried to stir the hormones I knew were inside of him. Of course he responded instantly. He pulled me impossibly closer and dipped his tongue into my mouth. We seemed to battle for dominance for such a long time before I finally gave up. He seemed to sense that I was done and pulled away. With his forehead against mine, he looked deep into my eyes. "Lily, what was that?"

"I'm, I'm sorry Michael. But I need to go to.. The restroom. I rushed from the hall as fast as I could on my high heeled shoes. Instead of heading for the restroom, I ran into an empty corridor. I sank to the ground, and my dress seemed to balloon around me. My hair was coming out in wisps around my face. Before I could stop it, tears were rolling down my face. I wiped them away quickly before they could fall on my dress.

_What is wrong with me? _I think quickly to myself. Why did seeing James kiss that girl cause me to feel like, like this? That I wanted to rip that Barbie limb from limb.

"Lily? What's wrong? Are you hurt?" It was Sirius, trying to find a place to continue on with his date.

'Sirrrrius." she whined. "Come on. All the good spots will be taken." her voice was high pitched and whiny as could be.

"You go on ahead Tina. I'll see you there." he shook her hand off his arm.

"My name is Raina." she said. "Don't bother looking for me. I'm going back in the dance. Merlin." She walked away muttering.

"You d-didn't have t-to leave your date S-Sirius." the tears were pouring down my face now, and I was wiping them away quickly so they couldn't get on my dress. My words were stuttering incoherently. Sirius sat down next to me and started wiping away the tears himself.

"So, you saw James and finally realized you do have feelings for him? Least that's what I'm getting at." he looked at me and I realized that's exactly what had happened. Oh, Merlin. I was screwed.

"I-I guess so. I do have feelings for him. I've just been hiding behind Michael because, because James Potter and Lily Evans _can't _be together. We're too different."

"But Lily, think about it. Who do you know more? Michael or James? Who has always been there for you every time? Just ask yourself who do you want to be with?"

"I don't know. I need to think for a minute. Excuse me." I got up and made sure that all of my tears were gone and my makeup was fine.

I walked into the Great Hall just as the Galloping Frogs lead singer said, "Now it's time for the traditional non-partner dance. Pick someone you didn't bring and party on. But don't forget your real date." (A/N: I got this idea from Enchanted)

And then all of a sudden, James was right there in front of me, holding out his hand. Before I could even think, I took it. He lead me into the middle of the dance floor just as the lights dimmed even more and the Galloping Frogs started a slow song.

My arms went around his neck, and his arms went around my waist. "You know Lily, you're going to have to get a little bit closer." he whispered to me. I moved slightly closer until there was only an inch separating us.

"How do you know how to dance so well?" and it was true, we were spinning slowly in circles and were making it look so graceful.

"My mom made me take lessons when I was a kid. It was a bunch of random boys looking all stupid and immature. But I kind of enjoyed it. It definitely has it's benefits." he smiled down at me. Then all of a sudden his eyes darkened and he gripped me tighter, and suddenly stopped spinning. "Lily, if I asked you to not turn around, would you listen?"

"James, what are you talking about?" I turned around and saw Michael, who was dancing with a Hufflepuff named Anna. They were snogging so intensely, it looked like a repeat from James and his Barbie doll earlier. I let go of James, stunned. I took a step back and just stared at Michael.

I started walking towards him very quickly. "You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach."(A/N: Hermione (: ) I walked straight up in his face and forgetting magic, slapped him across the face so hard his face slammed to the side. There was already an angry red handprint appearing on his face.

"What the bloody hell was that for!" he screamed at me. People were beginning to stop dancing to watch us.

"Are you kidding me? Were you or were you not totally just stuck to this girl here like glue?" I looked at him, expecting an explanation. But then, changing my mind, I said, "You know, everyone told me you were like this. I guess your true colors have finally shone through. Just tell me the truth. How long has this been going on?"

"You're not going to like what you hear." he said now.

"It's not going to change the outcome. We're done." there was no point in extending it any longer. I'd been cheated on.

"Uhm, about three weeks after we started dating." he stuttered off, trying to act casual. The blood started to rise to my cheeks. I was humiliated.

With a cry of anger I went to slap him again but was stopped when two sets of hands grabbed each of my arms. Without even looking, I knew it was James and Sirius. "Let me go now." I said, deadly, and not taking no for an answer.

"He's not worth it Lily. Just let him go." Sirius said, pulling me back. They dragged me away as a cried out a stumble of curses in Michael's directions, magic still somehow being forgotten in my head, which was probably better, because I could have been in a decent amount of trouble if I had gotten a hold on my wand.

After a few minutes, I just let them drag me away, not even fighting it. And yet tears would not come. Michael had hurt me, obviously, and I wouldn't forgive him. But in a way, I knew it would have ended soon anyway. I couldn't have contained whatever these foreign feelings were for James for long.

Speaking of James, I looked up at him. He was deadly calm with a mask of calm coolness on his face, but I could see the anger in his eyes. Looking at Sirius, he seemed to slightly be enjoying himself, and the spark was definitely still in his eyes.

"You guys can let me go now. I'm not going to go back and attack him. That's too much effort now." I looked up at them, and they seemed to believe me, for they let me go and I sort of slumped to the ground. "What a great night. This is just wonderful. Oh look! My dress is ruined."

And indeed it was. Someone had spilled their punch down the front when I had been dragged away.

"Uhm, Lily. I'm not sure if this is the best time, but you are a witch. It's easy to fix. Here." Sirius muttered a quick spell and the punch was siphoned off of my dress into his wand. "There you go."

"Thanks, I guess." I just sat there for a second and then continued. "Merlin, I knew it. I knew it. No wonder he was so perfect. No one's like that. No one. I'm such an idiot. This is all my fault."

"Lily, you're not an idiot. It's that dumb brutes stupid fault for cheating on you. I mean look at you. Who would cheat on you? Other than complete idiots." James said.

"Well thanks James. I'm going to go back to the common room. You guys can go back to the dance if you want.' I said, starting to get up.

But they each grabbed an arm before I could do anything else, and I was pulled up. I then took off my ridiculous high heels, having no point in wearing them anymore. With my heels in one hand, I started off walking back to the common room. Both boys just followed me.

"You really don't have to come up. I mean, you both have dates." I said to them. They both just shrugged.

"They weren't the greatest dates anyway. We had to get them at the last minute. I swear the last girl was so dumb she didn't even have an IQ." said Sirius.

"Well ok, thank you." they just nodded in response.

We made our way up until we finally reached the common room. For the first time tonight I didn't feel hazy or confused. Everything was perfectly clear. Everything was finally falling into place. Things were going to get better.

After giving the password to the Dragon Rider (hippogriff) we made our way inside. I went upstairs to my room and changed out of my dress into a tank top and pajama shorts. I wiped up all of my makeup but kept my hair the same, since it didn't look bad at all. I went back downstairs and sat next to them.

"I like you better like this. In normal clothes. You're more, you." said James. I looked at him questioningly. "It's just, seeing you all upset and in that dress was just weird. Like you weren't Lily."… "Not that you didn't look great." he hastily added.

"It's ok, I get it." and then we decided to play exploding snap for awhile, which resulted in Sirius' eyebrows getting singed off completely and James and I laughing hysterically rolling around on the floor while Sirius ran around in panic before I returned his eyebrows to their normal condition. After some time playing Exploding Snap and a couple games of Wizard's chess, all of our stomach's were growling.

"Let's go down to the kitchens. I'm starving." James said, speaking aloud all of our thoughts. Sirius and I both agreed and we all walked downstairs together. The house elves were ecstatic to see Sirius and James, both regular "customers". We sat down at a round table and we were served quickly, soup with bread. They were running short on the fancy stuff since they were still continuously feeding the students at the ball.

After a quick dinner and a small chocolate cake that Sirius and James practically devoured, we walked back up to the Dragon Rider. When we got to the fork leading to Gryffindor Common Room and the Head's Room Sirius said, "I'm gonna call this one a night. Goodnight guys." he gave me a quick hug and James a pat on the back.

James and I walked in silence to our common room. When we got there, I sat down on the couch and he sat down next to me.

"Ughhh. I hate this." I said, and laid my head now in my knees, trying to calm myself. Before I could right myself back up, James had laid his warm hands on my back, and was kneading there slightly, getting rid of the knots there. It felt absolutely wonderful. But what did it mean? I cautiously stayed down, partially because it felt so good, and let him massage away most of my worries, not realizing he had just caused more. He had once told me he had feelings for me and could wait, but had I kept him waiting for too long? And once I thought that, I knew it was true. There was no way James could like me just because I now had feelings for him.

With a sinking feeling I realized that I was to blame for Michael and mine's end also. These feelings hadn't developed overnight. I was right when I told James that night in the bathroom that I needed to stop these feelings, but I hadn't. Ever since the first kiss I had felt them. I had just buried them so deep inside that I could mask them for friendship, which was wrong of me.

But now it was too late. I had waited to long and had most likely missed my chance with James. That had to be it. I sighed into my lap and James paused for a minute but then continued massaging my back.

After what seemed like hours, but was probably like only a half an hour he finally stopped. I sat up quickly. "Thank you. That was much needed, and it felt fantastic."

"You're welcome. I figured you could use one." he said nonchalantly, like he was talking about me borrowing a quill from him.

I summoned the huge blanket that was on the back of the armchair and threw it over our legs. I then laid down with my head on the side of the couch, and my legs spread out, on top of James.

"What are you doing?" he asked, confused.

"I'm going to sleep. I don't want to climb all the way upstairs. You don't have to stay, but I'm comfortable." I said quickly, not sure if I was crossing an invisible line.

"Well, I do need to get pajamas on at least." he left quickly and came back in pajama pants and, thankfully, a white t-shirt. He laid down and stuffed his legs on the other side of mine. "It's a good thing this couch is so big." he joked. He then blew out all of the candles with his wand except for one at the end of the room, on the homework table. "Just incase," he whispered to me.

"Good night James. Thanks for, well, everything."

"Get some sleep Lily." he said. And the next thing I knew, I was dreaming.

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**A/N: you're welcome, i finally got rid of Michael. I'm not sure what i feel about this one. I liked it, but at the same time, i feel like something's missing. Please comment on it. I won't submit the next one, which i have done, until i have 40 comments. (I have 30 now) haha no i'm just kidding. But that would be really nice. Please review and add to your favorites! I hope you enjoyed. **

**P.S. Next chapter involves some fluff...**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is a writing God, and i'm just a minor god, using her ideas for a story.**

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"James, I'm in love with you. Ever since I first met you I've been in love with you. I just hadn't realized it. The kiss just made me realize-" but he cut me off so fast I was shocked. His eyes had turned hard, and unfriendly. He didn't look like the James I knew. He took a deep breath.

"Lily, how could I ever love you back? You're pathetic. All you do is tell me how you hate me and now you love me? Well no. You lost your chance with me. Just stay away from me. And besides, I'm with Kristen now." and then a girl, a blonde, with everlasting long legs, walked up to him and he started snogging her senseless.

"No, no, NO!" I sat bolt upright in my bed and looked around. I was not in the great hall, James had not just broken my heart. I sat there, gasping for breath with my hand over my heart. After awhile I got up slowly and made my way to the bathroom. After relieving my bladder, I got into the shower and took a quick cold one to get woken up. I put the dream in the back of my mind while I got dressed for the day. Because the dance was last night, it was Saturday. However, it was now the winter holidays. I had no where to go though, Petunia had made that quite clear, so I was staying at Hogwarts. All of the Maraudars were staying, except for Peter, and Only Mary was staying out of my group of girls. I got dressed quickly, in jeans and a sweater and walked down to breakfast. Mary was already there, and Sirius was there also.

"Hey guys." I said glumly.

"Oh look up Lily! We don't have any classes. This is going to be great. I was thinking about having a snow ball fight this afternoon. Interested?" Sirius said.

I laughed lightly. "Of course I'm interested. I'll be there." he winked at me then continued wolfing down his waffles.

Just then James and Remus walked into the Great Hall. Right when we made eye contact, I stood up very abruptly and yanked Mary to her feet.

"I need to talk to you." I hissed to her and yanked her out of the hall, not exchanging hellos with James and Remus as we passed.

"Lily, what is this all about? And you can let my hand go." Mary said. I looked down at her hand and saw I was still gripping it tighter.

"Sorry," I muttered. "Look, I-I have," I cleared my throat. "I think I have feelings for… James." I trailed off and looked down at my feet.

Mary looked at me and then started jumping up and down shouting for joy. "I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! This is so exciting! What are you going to do?"

"I don't know! What if I blew my chances with him? He could completely like someone else. I've wasted too much time." I looked up at her sadly.

"Trust me Lily. That boy is in love with you. Just, I think the best bet would be to tell him, and the sooner you can. How about after our snowball fight?" I agreed with her quietly while silently freaking out in my head. There were so many possibilities that could occur. What if he didn't respond? What if he did?

We walked back up to the common room together and then split up when I had to go to the head's room. She wished me luck when I disappeared inside.

James was there, reading a book, when I walked in. He turned his head towards me. "Hey Lily. Are you going to Sirius's Snowball Spectacular?" he grinned.

"Nice alliteration." I laughed. "And yes, most likely."

"Thanks, it took me awhile to think it up just for you." he winked. "I need to shower however, so I'll be down in a bit and then we can walk down together?" he worded it as a question so I nodded and bit down on my lip, almost spilling now.

_Just for you._ I tried not to show how happy those three words made me. He walked up the stairs and I collapsed onto the armchair.

"What am I suppose to do?"

About half an hour later James appeared from upstairs. I was still laying on the chair, staring up at the ceiling, debating to give up the whole thing. "You ready?" he said from the top of the stairs.

"Yes, I just have to go get my stuff." I walked up the stairs quickly and accidentally brushed my shoulder with his. What seemed to be an electric shock jumped from his skin into mine. I jumped slightly and saw he had a confused expression on his face. Had he felt it too? "Uhm, be right back." I muttered quickly and ran up the stairs.

I grabbed myself quickly and headed down the stairs. James was putting on his coat and gloves and I remembered how good his coat had smelled when I borrowed it. Apparently sensing me, he turned around.

"You ready?" he repeated. I nodded and began putting on my things as well. I matched surprisingly well for not paying attention to what I was grabbing.

"Let's go face Sirius's Snowball Spectacular." I muttered. He laughed which caused my stomach to twist.

We walked down quickly and at the exit of the castle stood Sirius, Remus, and two other Gryffindors I recognized but didn't know the names of. They soon introduced themselves as Melanie and Jacob. After exchanging quick greetings, we headed outside, where the world had been transformed over night into a vast snowy wonderland. The Forbidden Forest was beautiful when it was covered in a layer of snow, and the sun sparkling on the snow, made everything shimmer. Other than the fact it was freezing, it was wonderful.

But before I had time to admire the real beauty of it all, a snowball crashed into the my neck, forcing ice cold snow to drip down my back. With a yelp I turned around to glance at the person who was about to pay. Sirius was standing there, grinning, with a new snowball in his hand.

"Teams are: Me, Remus, and Melanie. James, Jacob, and Lily. Seems fair enough! Let's go!" and he lunged the snowball at Jacob, who dived into the snow to avoid it. I ran with James laughing hysterically to a spot behind a tree.

"We need to make a fort!" I said quickly pulling out my wand. With a quick spell a huge fortress of snow moved from the ground creating a huge castle around us, even with a huge pile of snowballs ready made in the middle with cannons on the side.

"Wow Lily. That's pretty impressive!" Before he had time to say anything more I grabbed his hand and raced up the castle steps, Jacob running behind us. Just then another castle, even more elegantly made of snow than mine, raised up from the ground a few hundred feet from us.

"Ugh, Sirius. Ready the cannons!" I shouted and James and Jacob made there way to the cannons, also made of snow. They began piling in snowballs at a fast speed and then set them off by pulling the rope attached at the end. A huge boom rang out and more than a hundred snowballs arched over the top of Sirius' defenses and I heard the satisfactory, "oof" as it hit our targets. We cheered in delight.

The fight went progressively more intense from that. I got hit so many times in so many places, my whole body turned numb, but I was having too much fun to notice. Jacob and James fought with a passion, while I used my skills for making more snowballs and ducking quickly, while shouting warnings to them whenever they didn't see a ball coming. We must have played for nearly two hours before a huge white flag erupted from Sirius' side.

"We call a truce! I'm soaked to the bone right now. You win, you win." Sirius shouted, magnifying his voice so we could hear clearly.

Doing the same to my own voice, I said, "I'm sorry Sirius, what was that?" Just to further taunt him I sent him my beaming smile.

"Ugh, Lily Evans, James Potter, and Jacob Starling, you are the mightiest warriors of the snowball that I have ever laid eyes on. I, Sirius Black, do not deserve to even be in your presence when you have a snowball with you, for I know that I will be obliterated as soon as I turn around." he huffed. "Is that good enough Evans?"

Grinning I said, "Perfect! Now lets go inside, I'm freezing." I walked down the stairs chatting happily with James and Jacob. I was about to return the castle to it's previous state when I received a tap on the shoulder. Looking up I was surprised to see Professor Dumbledore.

"That was an impressive show of magic Miss Evans. If you don't mind, I'd like to keep these up, at least until they melt away naturally. I assume that many will enjoy having fun in them as you have." he motioned with his arm and behind him I could see that our friendly Snowball Fight had had an audience. Ranging from first years to seventh years, there were many people there who looked sad to see it over.

"Of course Professor, it's all theirs. I hope they enjoy it." he nodded at me then strolled over to the audience, and when he said something they all cheered and raced up the steps of the castle, screaming and laughing as they did so.

I nodded to Professor Dumbledore and then walked back to the castle with James and the rest of them. After saying goodbye, James and I made our way back to the head rooms. When we got there, I realized just how freezing I was.

Shivering, I said, "I call the bathtub first! I am absolutely freezing." and grinned at him, racing ahead to the Dragon Rider.

"What! That's not fair! I'm just as cold as you! You know the tub warms you up more than the shower!" he said, whining behind me, trying to catch up.

I was at the portrait in no time, and after reciting the password, raced up stairs and had already started the bath. He appeared out of no where however.

"I have an idea! Let's just do this." he got out his wand and waved it at the bath, obviously using a nonverbal spell. It magnified in size, until it was the size of a small swimming pool. "Now we can both share. Go get your swim suit on." He ran to his room to change and I started up the pool with all my favorite bubbles and smells.

Going into my room I grabbed my blue bikini that went well with my skin tone. I was freaking out slightly. I knew this was the perfect time to tell him, but I was going to be in a freaking tub with him for crying out loud! How much more intimate could it be unless I was in bed with him or something. Cringing, I pulled on my swimsuit, making sure that it was tied securely and freaking out even more.

I walked slowly into the bathroom and saw James was already in the "pool" all but his head underwater, messing with the taps, trying to make it warmer most likely. But when I walked in, his head turned and his eyes widened slightly, and he seemed to forget what he was doing. He cleared his throat.

"It feels super good. You should get in." he said motioning with his hand for me to hop in. Taking his advice, saying as I was still shivering, I slid both my feet in, then the rest of my body followed. It was so deep, I couldn't touch, but James could.

Treading water I said, "It's a good thing I know how to swim, or this could be bad. Is there some sort of ledge?"

"Yeah, here." he walked/swam over to me and grabbed my hand, and I felt another electric bolt. He stopped slightly too, making me wonder if he felt it too, but then continued pulling me, and then let my hand go, because I was sitting on a bench, which seemed to run around the whole tub.

"Uhm, thanks." I was sitting much to close to him. Our thighs were touching, and I could feel his arm pressing up against mine. "This, feels absolutely wonderful." I said, and meant it. The water was steaming hot, and my body was slowly warming up more. "Why don't we play a game."

Laughing he said, "Sure. What do you want to play?"

"Uhm, I'm not sure. I don't really want to play Truth or Dare, because I don't want to have to get out of the tub. We could play I spy?" I suggested.

He raised his eyebrows. "I Spy? Seriously? How bout we play Truth or Dare but minus the Dare?" he shrugged. "I've played it before with interesting results."

I didn't really want to know what these results were so I didn't press the subject. "Ok, that sounds perfect. You first."

"Uhm, ok. What are you most scared of in the world?" he said.

"Starting off strong there aren't we?" I said. I contemplated his sentence for a long moment. "I think there's two things I'm most scared of. Failing, and not making a difference."

"What do you mean by not making a difference?" he said, going over to turn the heat on more and the bubbles. He came back quickly though and sat down right next to me again, just as close.

"I mean that my life won't mean something. That after a die, no one will remember me. No one will know anything about me. I'll just be another person in a cemetery, just another Head Girl on a plaque in the trophy room. It scares me that I'll never get to reach my full potential and that I'll never be known. I don't mean famous. That means nothing to me. I just, I feel like I need to make a difference, that I was born to do something great, and it's scary to think maybe that's all a lie, and my life, well, doesn't even matter." I said, and trailed off, scared I had revealed too much about myself.

He seemed to be digesting what I said for a minute. "Look, the way I see it is that you're always going to make a difference to at least one person. One person somewhere in this world, has been changed by something you have done. Someone has been affected by you, or by your actions. So in a way, you are doing something to help. Lily Evans will always be known, trust me."

"Thank you." I said quietly. "Ok, I have a question for you. What was your grossest memory ever?" I smiled at this one, at least this one wouldn't be so serious.

"Oh that is so easy. All of the guys were over at my house two summers ago, and my mum had made us a cake, I can still remember. It was chocolate, with strawberry frosting. She took forever on it. When I asked her what is was for, she said that she loved to see me with my friends, and happy, so why would we need an occasion. She was like that, my mum. Always filled with life inspiring quotes and things. She always seemed to never need a reason to do the things she did. She did everything with grace, and passion. But anyway, she had made us this huge cake and we all attacked it like wolves, all sharing it with just forks on our kitchen table. Now I know you think Sirius eats a lot, but he can't really fit in that much before he has to stop. But peter, however, doesn't seem to know when he is full. He ate so much cake that he started feeling sick. I'm sure you can guess what happens next. He, well, threw up. And me, being right next to him, got the brunt of it. That cake was not good the second time. Thank Merlin I remembered to close my mouth. It was like a fountain of puke. It was disgusting, to say the least." He winced at the memory. However, I smiled.

"It's nice to hear you talk about that. The good memories. All I can remember right now are the fights and disagreements my step dad and I had, or the way my mom's little petty things always bothered me. And now knowing that at my wedding, I won't even have someone to walk me down the isle.." I trailed off, as tears slowly slid down my face, falling over my lips and into the water.

James, hesitantly, reached his hands up and wiped away the tears before replacing his hands in his lap. "Lily, you're wedding is going to be the most beautiful thing in the world, because you'll be in it. You don't need someone giving you away. Just know that whoever the lucky man is, he'll except you for who you are. It shouldn't make a difference to you at all." I had stopped crying at this point.

"Thank you, again James. You always know exactly what to say." I was so close to telling him this time, but I decided against it. It wasn't time yet.

"Anytime Lils. Ok, I got one for you. If you could do anything in the world right now, anything at all, what would you do?" he looked at me so intently and then I realized that this was the perfect time. I had to do something.

I met his eyes with a fierce determination. "This." Our faces were only inches apart. I closed the distance and our lips touched. Even though it was completely unexpected, both of us couldn't help responding. Gasoline and an open flame, we exploded again. It wasn't the same as the first time though. I could feel that. I tried to kiss his softly. But my intentions went up in smoke.

There was fire everywhere, because he was everywhere. His body responded, and he pulled me onto him, where I straddled his lap. His hands traced up and down my arms, burning it, causing the fire to spread. His lips tasted every inch of my face and he turned me around so it was my back against the side of the pool and I slammed into the wall, but there was no pain. I couldn't feel anything besides the burning he was causing. My hands knotted in his hair, pulling him to me as if there were any possible way for us to be closer. My legs wrapped around his waist. His lips were attacking mine, like in the hallway. He was sucking gently on my lower lip and I realized with a small moan that I needed to open my mouth. The moan caused him to groan slightly and he caught my bottom lip gently with his teeth and tugged. I opened my mouth to him and his tongue twisted with mine, and there was no part of my mind that was not invaded by the insane desire that possessed me.

There was no possible way we could get any closer, and yet somehow we did. My whole body was melded into his. My hands reached up to his back and grabbed on to his skin causing him to groan. Stopping to breath, he continued, trailing a line of fire down my neck, causing me to utter a small gasp. I stretched my neck upwards so he could have more access and he kept sucking on my neck, and then he hit a spot by my collarbone that made me moan in pleasure. He stayed there, gently sucking and biting at my skin. But then, I pulled his face back to mine, and his lips attacked mine again. I sucked on his top lip while he worked on my bottom. Opening up my mouth again, our tongues battled for dominance against the other, and we stayed that way for a while.

Unlike the first kiss however, this one seemed to change my very insides. He curled his arms around me, pulling me tighter against his chest. Our lips moved together, fusing as if they would never part, and something began to change. The first kiss had been like a wildfire, consuming everything in it's past. But this second one was so very different, because we had both changed. When he touched me, it was deeper and slower than the wildfire, like the flow of molten rock across a volcano. And then I realized that I maybe quite possibly love him.

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**A/N: YOU'RE BLOODY WELCOME. even after you guys didn't even give me fourty comments, i still updated, mostly because i got bored with it just sitting on my computer, but STILL. 40 comments would have been much appreciated, and i'm a little said. So it'd be great if i could get a little bit more, sense you guys are the only thing keeping me going in writing this, and you should know that i'm not sure if i want to keep going if no one is reading it. but ANYWAY, i hope you enjoyed this little fluff scene. I'm sorry for the cliffie, but you will have some fun with the next chapter and i hope you liked this one. PLEASE REVIEW AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER.**

**k thanks.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is a miracle who walks this planet for gifting us with these characters. I just make do with the plot.**

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We were still in a passionate embrace and yet a battling fight for dominance when a cleared throat interrupted our little scene. I looked up in shock to see Sirius grinning ear to ear in the door way. He held up a scarf.

"You forgot this and I saw it and grabbed it. Look's like you found another way to get warm however." he winked at me.

"Oh get out Sirius. Now." James said. His best friend winked again before bounding down the stairs. "Stupid git." he muttered.

"I heard that!" Sirius shouted from the common room.

"Leave now!" I yelled back. I waited until I heard the door slam before turning back towards James. "Uh, sorry." I said, and untangled my one hand from in his hair and the other from his warm stomach. I unwound my legs from around his waist and backed up slightly, but since I couldn't touch, I started to go under, forgetting to tread. James grabbed me lightly and set me on the side next to him. "thanks." I muttered.

"I think we have some more truth telling to do. Saying as that was rather unexpected for me, not that I didn't enjoy it." he added hastily.

"I'm sorry. I just couldn't think of any other way to tell you, so I showed you instead. Was that too forward of me?" I said quietly, fearing rejection.

"Why are you sorry? Just because it was unexpected doesn't mean that it was a bad thing. And tell me what Lily? I'm hangin' here." he said, looking at me intently.

"That I have feelings for you." I said, growing confident now. "Ever since that first kiss in the hallway, I just, I developed a sort of attraction towards you. Without even meaning to, I needed to be around you. I depend on you. And then when I saw you that night at the ball after everything, I just couldn't help but realize how kind and patient you've been with me, helping me through my parent's death, saving my life, protecting me all of this time. It wasn't until after Michael, I realized that I never even liked Michael. I was using him to hide my feelings for you. And that was a mistake. I just, I never thought that I could ever like you after everything. But somehow I did. I fell for you and now I just don't know what to do. Maybe I waited to long and you've moved on or something-" but I was interrupted by him pressing his lips to mine gently and ever so sweetly. I fell against him.

"Lily Grace Evans, you do not know how long I've waited to hear you say that." He pressed his lips against mine again and I responded enthusiastically.

"You mean, you haven't given up on me?" I said hopefully.

"How could I ever give up on you?" he brushed my hair back off my face and kissed my forehead. "Remus was right! He told me if I was just patient, all of your feelings were there, just buried deep. I need to thank him."

"Well we all did know Remus was always the smart one." I teased him and he snorted at me.

We sat there in the hot tub until my feet resembled prunes. We talked about our childhoods, our friends, our parents, and Hogwarts. We talked about memories and anything that ever sprang into our minds. It must have been hours that we sat in there talking, just getting to know each other better, but it felt like minutes. Finally I was yawning with my arms around his neck and my head resting against his shoulder.

"We need to get you to bed." he whispered into my hair. Grabbing me bridal style I put my head against his chest. He put me down gently to wrap a towel around me. He laid me on my bed and I just laid there staring up at him for a moment.

"I'll be right back. Get your pajamas on." he said to me and then left the room through the bathroom.

Sighing, I got up quickly and walked to my closet, where I pulled out a pair of flannel pants. Grabbing my wand, I uttered a quick summoning spell towards the direction of James room. I heard a satisfying yelp from inside. One of James' shirts was now in my grip. I slid it on and the fabric felt wonderful, not to mention smelled fantastically of James.

He came into my room a moment later, in a pair of flannel pants but no shirt. When he saw what I was wearing he rolled his eyes.

"That's the shirt I was putting on before it got yanked out of my hands." I smiled innocently up at him and he groaned. "Darn you and your charming good looks. It doesn't matter. It looks better on you anyway." he picked me up again which was completely unnecessary and while I was complaining he shut me up with a kiss, which I happily accepted.

He carried me to my bed, and with one hand held me, while the other pulled back the covers.

"As unnecessary as your being right now, I can't help but admire your muscle strength. I'm no light weight." I said.

"Pssh, I'm guessing you weight around 100 pounds right?" he said, flattering me greatly. I could tell he meant it too.

I laughed. "Try adding thirty pounds, then you got me." he looked shocked for a minute. And then he smiled.

"Well, I'd lo-like you at any size. And 130 pounds is still way too skinny. You barely look healthy most of the time." he teased.

"Oh shush." I said, and he pulled the covers all the way up to my chin. I cuddled into them getting warm.

"Goodnight Lily." James whispered. Before turning off the light, he said one more thing. "Oh, and I know you usually say no, so I'm setting myself up for failure here, but Lily Evans, will you go out with me? Like on a date?"

He sounded so nervous it made me laugh. "James Potter, you got yourself a date."

"Well it's about damn time." he said. And then turned off the light, walking out the door.

I woke up happier than I'd felt in ages. I rose with a smile on my face and sighed. I got up from my bed quickly and with a jolt I realized I had slept in to almost noon. Oh well. I took a quick shower and then brushed my teeth and hair. After magically drying and styling it, I changed into a pair of dark skinny jeans and a blue sweater. I checked James room but he wasn't in there, so I walked down to the Great Hall by myself.

When I walked in people wolf whistled and shouted their congratulations. Because it was Christmas Break, however, the number of people was dramatically different, so I wasn't too embarrassed. I was going to kill Sirius Black. But oh well. It would have gotten out eventually knowing Hogwarts. I walked quickly to the Gryffindor table with my head down and squeezed in between Remus and James, who grabbed my hand automatically underneath the table. He gave it a reassuring squeeze. "I guess Sirius spilled the beans to everyone in ear shot last night. Sorry." he muttered in my ear.

Before I had time to respond, someone else said, "And they're already muttering sweet nothings into each others ears. When's the wedding?" Sirius said matter-of-factly.

"Oh shove off, Sirius." I said, reaching for some food.

"Can I not express my happiness that the two people who were meant to be together since first glance are together at last! All because of me!" he said, piling food onto his plate.

"And pray tell, Sirius, how this is your doing?" said James, helping himself to some Pumpkin Juice.

"Because if it wasn't for me, well, ok I don't know. But something is because of me. So you're welcome." He grinned wolfishly and I laughed.

"Whatever you say Snuffles." I grinned and was very aware of the warmth of the hand that was holding mine. I couldn't help but realize how perfectly our hands fit together. His massive hand held my petit one like a puzzle piece, finally solved. The rest of lunch went by swiftly, and James and I went up to the common room to which we gathered many wolf whistles and suggested looks, which we ignored.

When we got there, James said, "So, I was wondering about that date." he paused. "I was thinking about tonight. Or is that too soon?"

I laughed lightly. "I don't care at all. That's fine, I have no plans obviously. But what are we doing?"

"Leave that part to me." he grinned deviously. "It's going to be a lot of fun."

"Well what am I suppose to wear?"

"Of course you're worried about clothing. Hmm, I have an idea. I'll pick out your outfit." he said. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"James, I better be wearing clothes. After all, this is a first date."

"I'm shocked you'd think I would do that. Don't worry, I'll get it all covered. And don't eat. You have to stay in your room however, because it's a surprise. So just hang out in your room and work on homework or something and the clothes shall appear around 8ish, which then you are suppose to put on and come downstairs. Agreed?"

"Ok, but I'm kind of concerned at what we're doing. But I guess I'll agree, sure." I said. "But why do I have to stay in my room?"

"Ah, that's the surprise Lily dear." he said, then "go on then. I have to prepare." and ushered me upstairs before I could protest. He closed the door and then locked it. "Don't worry," he said from the other side. "It will be unlocked at 8 sharp!"

"Don't I get a goodbye kiss?" I said smiling against the door. It unlocked very quickly and James threw himself onto me. His lips touched mine gently at first but then everything went up in smoke again. My back was to the door and his hands were on either side of my face, causing a barrier around me. We were kissing heavily until he pulled away, making me lean towards him with my eyes closed, wanting more. He looked satisfied by my slightly confused and 'hurt' expression.

Without another word, he strode from my room, locking the door on the way out. I sighed. Today was going to be a long one.

I decided to take a bath, so I filled the "pool" quickly and added bubbles with lavender. I hopped in quickly and the water felt wonderful. I swam a couple of laps, and then just floated on my back staring up at the ceiling for a while. Effectively wasting an hour, I got out and magically dried my hair and made it cascade with soft curls down my back. I then did the over-break homework from Flitwick, Slughorn, and McGonagall. That effectively wasted two hours. With three hours left to go, I laid on my bed for a while and then read a good book by Nicholas Sparks, which got me crying by the end of it, again. I then put on some music and danced around for a bit, painted my toenails, shaved my legs the normal way, and I was just beginning to draw a picture when clothes magically appeared at the end of my bed. I crawled down to the end and looked up at the clothes. Frowning, I picked them up.

What they were: Flannel pajama pants, and one of James t-shirts. _What in the world?_ I thought quietly to myself. Shrugging, I pulled on the pants and then the t-shirt. I walked to the door and finding it was unlocked, pushed it open. The sight that waited for me practically blew my mind.

The common room had been transformed. There was a huge fort built from blankets and pillows and the couches in the middle of the room. It practically took up the whole room. And then there was James, standing in the middle of it, grinning up at me.

"I know what you're thinking. What in the name of Merlin is this. Well _this _is my idea of a great time. I know that you're different than the other girls, in a good way, and figured this would be a much easier way to talk and be comfortable than sit across from each other at a stuffy table, trying to make conversation about the lobster bisque. I even charmed a projector to make it work here in Hogwarts. I got some great movies!" he sounded so excited. But then he hurried on in a slightly panicked voice. "But if you don't like this, just tell me and we can go out someplace fancy! I don't care at all. Just whatever you want, I just thought this would be fun!"

"James, calm down. It's a great idea. I love it." I walked up to him and kissed his cheek. "And yet, was this outfit appropriate for comfort, or do you just like the way I look in your clothes?"

He winked at me. "Eh, little bit of both to tell you the truth. Come on!" He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the middle of the 'fort'. It was very comfortable on the inside, with multiple pillows and blankets, giving it quite a cozy effect. There was a soft breeze going through it however, so we wouldn't burn to death.

"This is really nice. How long did it take you to make?" I asked him, plopping down on a mass of pillows and blankets.

"Well, when I was a second or third year, all of the boys and I would come to my house for the summer, and we'd make up the most ridiculous forts ever, sometimes being two floors, and of course, I couldn't use magic then, so we came up with some crazy ways to fix it all together, and it always worked. So I didn't use magic for this. So kind of a while, but it looks amazing! I'm very proud of myself." he winked at me.

"Always the modest one I see." I said. But sitting down with him, I realized that he really did know me. I preferred this as a date over any fancy dinner because I was comfortable here with James. If we had went out to eat or something to over-the-top I would have felt the need to try harder and not act myself. So in a way, James was always knowing what I was thinking, just not in the complete literal sense. "So what movies did you get?" I asked him eagerly.

He laughed. "Well I got some muggle movies for us, saying as we don't really need that as entertainment. But I didn't know what you would like, so I kind of just grabbed a bunch, Remus' mom is a huge movie freak, and she collects them, so it was easy to get a lot." he turned around and grabbed a huge stack of movies.

"Wow, that is a lot. How are we suppose to choose?" I grabbed a movie at random and the cover had a huge toilet on it. I laughed and showed it to him.

"Well, you never know. That good be mankind's best movie ever made there. And you just insulted it." he raised an eyebrow at me and I rolled my eyes.

We ended up deciding on a scary, slasher movie about a teenage camping trip "gone wrong". We started the movies and he dimmed the lights, causing an eerie sort of glow to hush over us. I looked over at him and almost gasped. The way the candles were on his skin made him glow. He looked stunning with the halo of light around him. The light reflected off of his deep hazel eyes, making them dance in the darkness. His unruly hair had bits of light shining through, making him look little less than an angel.

He looked over at me once he noticed I was looking at him. His gaze was so intense, I struggled to keep looking in his eyes without looking away.

For a while we stayed like that, frozen in time, just staring at each other. I know describing it sounds really awkward and Mary thought so when I told her later, but in the moment, you can't even really describe it. It was like everything was James. Everything was him and he was everything. He was staring at me, taking in my whole face, and I was doing the same with him. I'd realized that in our year of friendship, I had never really analyzed him this deeply. If that sounds creepy though, it wasn't. His face searched mine with a hungered intensity and before I knew what was happening, I was staring at his lips, and he was staring at mine. I leaned slightly towards him and at the same time so did he. My eyes closed automatically and he reached out and stroked my face. Cupping my face in his hands, he brought me in closer. He hesitated however, right before our lips would touch. His warm sweet breath mingled with my own and we sat there, my eyes closed, and I think his were too, just breathing each other in. After a few moments however I couldn't take it. I reached my hand up and lightly traced his lips with my fingertips. He let out a soft moaning noise and then before I was even prepared, his lips smashed against mine. I let out a wild gasp and my hands automatically went to his hair, grabbing the dark locks and pulling him to me. My hands were buried deeply into his hair, and his were still around my face.

It's like we couldn't get enough of each other. My tongue explored every single inch of his mouth, searching it's deepest parts, and his did the same for me.

Slowly and gently, he pushed me down so I was laying against the soft blankets and pillows. The movie, forgotten, played in the background.

With his arms creating a barrier around each side of my head, he held himself up so to not put any weight on me, and continued kissing me. Wanting to feel him next to me however, I pulled him down on top of me, so our bodies were pressed together. I dragged him down next to me so we were laying on our sides, facing each other, obviously, and continued to fight for dominance.

I discovered that I enjoyed kissing James. If I could kiss him for most of the time, I probably would. It some how never got old and it was like a new discovery every time we moved differently.

Rolling him over so that he was on his back, I basically straddled him and continued kissing him. He seemed surprise by me taking control, but seemed to enjoy it because he continued kissing me with excited enthusiasm.

Merlin knows how long we would have continued, until, unfortunately, someone died.

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**A/N: you're welcome for this much fluff, i don't know if i can continue with this much though, i'm not that much of a fluffy person, but i thought you deserved it because i kept you all waiting so long. Trust me, it wasn't because of the comments. You guys graced me with 51 comments! that's so much and i appreciate every single one, even if they contain critisism. I unfortunately, have been very busy because of my state swim meet going on, and i have practices two times a day and i'm so exhausted i haven't found time to finish this chapter. I'm sorry for the cliff-hanger, but you'll be glad when you find out. Please comment, save me as a favorite, or just enjoy my writing. Please review, because i love them, they keep me going.**

**Sneek Peek: Things get a little...furry.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter world belongs to J.K. Rowling and her fabulous mind. But this story belongs to me, mwhahah.**In the movie, and let out a horrible, long drawn out scream. I pulled apart from James with a start and then realizing what position I was in, on top of him, I rolled off, blushing.

* * *

"Don't blush, there's nothing to be embarrassed about." he said, taking my hand and pulling me closer to him. We laid back down against the pillows and I rested my head against his chest.

"I'm sorry. I just, I've never felt like this around anybody and yet I can't seem to be able to control myself around you. This is all your fault." I said, and slapped him on the arm lightly.

"Oh of course, this is my fault. Admit it, you just couldn't resist the charm." he smiled down at me and kissed my forehead. "Now why don't we actually try to watch this movie?" He leapt forward and tinkered with the box, until he found the right switch, and the movie started over.

We laid there, in comfortable silence, sometimes mixed in with light conversation, and watched the scary movie. He thought it was hysterical whenever I jumped and laughed at all the wrong parts, the ones that were suppose to be frightening.

"It's just so funny that these things scare people. Imagine getting put under the Cruciatus Curse. Now that's pain. What's with all these knifes and such?" he said, gesturing wildly to the screen.

"Well, Muggles obviously don't know how lucky they are do they?" I said with a light laugh.

"Right you are."

I snuggled into his warm side and yawned, which in turn made him yawn too.

"Hey, Lily?" he asked? I hummed in response to tell him I was listening. "Even though you're about to fall asleep on me, overall I think this was a great first date."

I was about to respond but he shushed me and leaned over and gave me the most sweet and innocent kiss there ever was. "Goodnight." he whispered, and then, I was asleep.

JAMES P.O.V.

I looked down at the girl lying asleep in my lap. I couldn't believe how incredibly lucky I was. This amazing creation was mine, finally, after all this time. There was no way this was real. What had I done to deserve someone like this?

She was so kind, and sweet, and beautiful. Every thing she did shined. She was like a whirl-wind of fire, consuming everything in her path, taking over my life.

I could still remember seeing her for the first time, really seeing her. She had just been a random girl in our compartment that first day on the train ride to Hogwarts, just a girl whom we should try to impress. But then, as the years went by and her attitude mixed with mine, she seemed to illuminate the way for me, binding my path with hers.

It was hard at first, to fight for her so far, when it seemed as if she would never fall for me back. But then I started to enjoy the chase, so much that it seemed that was only what I was in for. It wasn't until fifth year, when I made such a fool of myself in front of her at the lake with Snivellus, that I realized she was more than just the challenge for me. Her compassion for someone who everyone hated made me realize that I hadn't known this girl at all. So I renewed my chase with vigor, and it seemed that it would never work, but then I matured slightly, thanks to Remus, and the death of my parents hit me hard. But in a way, it helped me become the man I am now. And then she started dating that Michael. He was horrible, I could tell. But if he made her happy, what could I do? I tried to kiss her gently in the corridor that day, but everything went up in smoke, like it always did with Lily. But then we she showed signs of affection back, I panicked and left, not wanting to ruin everything I had worked so hard to get. But now, finally after all these years, she was mine completely.

I would follow her to the ends of the earth. I was completely in love with her. I had known for the longest time that she was the one for me, it had just taken the longest time for her to connect the dots and see that we fit together like two puzzle pieces.

She didn't even know how beautiful she was. All of the guys talked about her, even the Slytherins, but they all knew to stay away because they would have me and Sirius to answer to. Her wit and fiery attitude just added to her wonderful demeanor. And as our friendship grew, and she opened up to me, I found myself drawn to this girl that know one saw ever, even if I only got glimpses of it occasionally. The girl that was scared of failing and scared of the outside world but so willing to fight for the right thing, and prove herself to people. The girl that was so incredibly brave and kind to the worst of us, the one who was always willing to help the smallest kids with the easiest tasks.

As she started drooling gently against my shirt, I smiled, even thinking drooling was cute on Lily. Anything would be. I lifted her up gently in my arms. She couldn't have weighed more than 130 pounds. It was easy to carry her to her bed. I laid her down gently and put the covers over her. Kissing her on the forehead I turned to go and turned off the lights.

I walked through the bathroom to my room, pausing to look at my watch. I was right on time, good. I bent down on my knees and reached under my bed, grabbing my invisibility cloak. Pulling it out, I admired the silky quality of it, thankful that I didn't have siblings, and got to keep my dad's old things. Pulling the cloak around me, I left the room swiftly, careful not to make too much noise.

It was an easy walk to the Gryffindor common room, being invisible. I did pass the Bloody Baron but his blank eyes just stared straight through me and glided past just as silently as I did. Being one of the only ones who asked him how he got his wound, I always felt a slight pity towards the guy, even if he was creepy.

I took off the cloak before reaching the Fat Lady, even though she already knew about it. I told her the password and she accepted gracefully, even though her and her friend Violet seemed to be slightly drunk.

Sirius and Peter were both sitting in the armchairs by the fire, heads slightly drooped together. Remus had already gone down to the hospital wing. They looked up when they heard me enter.

"Prongs! Mate, how did your date go?" Sirius said, wagging his eyebrows suggestively at me.

"Ah Sirius, I don't kiss and tell." I said with a wink and he groaned.

"Well, in any case, you're almost late. We need to get going quickly. Remus went down to the hospital wing ages ago." he said and got up dramatically from his chair.

We pulled the cloak around all three of us, Sirius and I stooping slightly due to our recent growth, again.

"Jeez Peter. Gain any more weight and we might not be able to use this anymore." said Sirius nudging Peter's gut.

He flushed and muttered something undistinguishable.

"Sirius. That was out of line. Apologize." I said to him, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh fine. I apologize." he said, rolling his eyes at me. I knew he would only do that for me, which I was grateful for. I also knew the only reason he insulted Peter in the first place was because it meant that no one else would.

We made our way to the first floor easily enough, but in the Entrance Hall, Peeves was floating around lazily on his back, staring up at the ceiling. We froze, staring up at him, but he didn't seem to notice.

"Muffliato!" Sirius said, pointing his wand at Peeves, who started to look alarmed, wondering why his hearing had gone. We got to the front door quickly enough and when Peeves turned the other way, we slipped open the door, undetected without his hearing, and slipped out. "Got to love that spell eh?" he said with a grin. We nodded our agreement. We walked down quickly to the Whomping Willow, not having to conceal our ankles being a huge plus. We transformed quickly into our animal forms, Sirius a huge dog, Peter a tiny rat, and me, a graceful stag.

As always when I transformed, I felt a slight tingle all over my body, and then a seeping warmth as if jumping into a warm bath. It felt good to be in stag form again, stretching my muscles out and rolling my large head. I always felt more free in stag form.

Peter quickly dodged under the Whomping Willow and reached the knot at the base quickly enough, pushing it in, immobilizing the tree. Sirius and I ran swiftly to the entrance, where we slid down easily enough. Not taking any chances of running into Remus early, we had learned to transform before going into the tree, when there had been a narrow miss a few years back with Sirius.

As we got closer to the room, I could hear Remus' muffled groans and shouts, knowing he was transforming. The shouts soon turned to growls and moans as he bit at himself. I felt a huge surge of pity for Remus. No one deserved the pain, especially not him, who wouldn't hurt anything if he could help it.

We reached the entrance to the room and Remus looked up, smelling us before seeing us. We trotted carefully into the room, making sure to not move to fast. Remus moved around us, smelling at each of us. When he was satisfied of us, we raced back up the tunnel and across the grounds to the forest.

The forest was an odd thing at night. It seemed to come alive. I had long since passed my fear of the place, even though it was dark and cold most nights. I knew there were bad things in the forest, but when you're a huge stag, not much tries to hurt you, especially when you have a werewolf with you.

We ran around for a while, exploring the forest, carefully not going to close where the centaurs dwelled. The forest was filled with all kinds of animals, which Remus took advantage of. He caught and ate two rabbits while we all looked on in disgust. We knew Remus didn't know what he was doing, he just needed something to satisfy his urge to bite at things, thankfully it wasn't us. But then we heard a noise that made my blood turn cold. I sniffed the air and the scent of human wafted through my nostrils. I looked to Sirius in alarm who rolled his head confused. Cursing that we couldn't speak to each other I looked at Remus who had seemed to just realize the curious smell. He threw his nose up in the air and let lose a blood-curling howl. He raced away from the clearing before I had a chance to stop him.

Sirius and I started running as fast as we could following him. There were humans in here, and they were definitely not safe. I followed Remus' trail, barely seeing his furry outline as he continued towards the edge of the woods. I heard a female scream and urged my four legs to run faster through the dense brush.

I broke into a clearing just in time to see Remus slowly creeping up on a terrified girl. With horror, I recognized her. It was Alice, Alice and Frank, who seemed to have been taking a stroll by the edge of the forest, not realizing the danger that lied within.

I sprung into action without thinking. I leaped over a huge boulder and placed myself directly in front of Alice, just as Remus lunged. His massive jaws closed over my left shoulder and I felt the teeth penetrate the layers of skin and sinews.

I thrashed around, trying to get him to let go, in much pain, when he flew off of me. Sirius had rammed himself into him as hard as he could. Sirius and Remus were now fighting, clawing at each other. I turned around, trying not to put too much weight on my front left leg and looked at Alice. She looked terrified and worried.

I pleaded with her with my eyes to run, hoping she could get the message. She shakily got to her feet, and I turned around, shielding her from Remus, in case Sirius failed. In fact, Sirius did look horrible, with huge gashes along his flank. I heard and sensed Alice and Frank running away, but not before Remus aimed one last slash at Sirius, who let out a cry of pain and fell to the ground. I saw little Peter clawing at Remus' feet, but it wasn't doing much good.

Trying to give Alice and Frank as much time as possible, I leaped in front of Remus who slashed at my muzzle, leaving three deep cuts, making me roar in pain. I rammed my antlers into his side which made him fall to the ground. He got up on his four legs and growled at me, loudly, trying to get past me to the humans. He lunged at me before I was ready for it and sank his claws deep into my side, where I felt them tear at my muscles. Screaming/growling in pain I looked up to see Remus start to race for Alice. I got up as fast as I could and ran after him, all four legs screaming in protest. Thankful that I could see still in the dark, I saw Remus not that far in front of me.

Getting as close to him as I could, I leaped into the air and slammed my antlers into him, causing him to scream out in pain. I heard Sirius limping up behind me, and we secured him down on the ground, encased in my antlers and Sirius' paws. We stayed like that for a long while, long enough for any trace of human to disappear. With a look at Sirius, we finally let him up. An unspoken agreement welled up in us, and not sensing any humans, Remus followed us willingly, not even realizing he had attacked us moments ago. Peter was on Sirius' shoulder again, so we trooped back to the tree quickly. Peter jumped down and immobilized the tree as fast as he could, and we all filled in to the tunnel. After a short while, we reached the room and left Remus there, growling in pain and confusion as to why we were leaving.

Sirius and I made our way out quickly and once we were a safe way away from the tree, we transformed back into humans. We were both in very bad shape.

Sirius had huge gashes that were seeping blood along his left side. He also had a bad cut on his face. His ankle was also bleeding heavily and he seemed to be limping.

My left shoulder was a huge bloody mess. It was leaking blood all over my robes and was throbbing like mad, hurting beyond belief. There was also a huge cut from my left temple to my chin.

Peter was fine, of course, he never got hurt as a rat.

"You ok mate?" I asked Sirius, out of breath.

"Yeah, you look way worse than me. That was too close. Why the bloody hell were Alice and Frank out there at this time of night?"

"I don't know, but you're right. That was way too dangerous. They could have gotten bitten. What will we tell Remus? He'll be distraught with himself, 'specially since he knows them." I said, grabbing my invisibility cloak from beneath my robes.

"I have no idea. We better get back up to the castle though. It's nearing three." Sirius said, looking at his watch. Peter nodded in agreement, and I couldn't help but wonder why he wasn't talking.

We threw on the cloak, and crept slowly into the castle. Feeling bad for Remus, I took a sneak peek back at the tree, but it was just swaying innocently in the breeze.

We said our goodbyes at the Fat Lady, and then I crept quietly back to the Head's dorm. But I accidentally tripped on the way through the door, and grabbed the side table, trying to catch my fall, but bringing it down with me, shattering a vase and landing me on my bad shoulder, making me shout out in pain.

I heard a door open and saw Lily in the doorway of her room. "James, what is it? Why are you just getting in?" she looked at the door to the mess I was making. "Oh Merlin. James, is that blood? What happened to you!" she rushed over to me and helped me up, leaning me against her.

"Accident." I muttered against her, too weak to move.

"Accident my arse!" she said, and I was shocked to hear her use that tone. "Stay right here, I'll be right back." she hurried up to her room and came back with a huge briefcase like thing. "Madame Pompfrey gave this to me a while back when I volunteered in the Hospital Wing. It's a huge Wizarding First Aid kit."

She laid it on the ground and opened it up. There were hundreds of bottles of potions and many cleansing supplies.

"You're going to have to help me here James." she said quietly. "We need to get your shirt off. Where else are you hurt other than your shoulder and face?"

I pointed weakly to my right hip, where Remus had clawed me deeply.

"Ok, that's fine. Totally easy." she said, trying to make me feel better, but I saw the fear in her eyes, and knew it was just a mask of calm. A complete façade.

She grabbed the bottom of my shirt and tried to lift it off, but I couldn't lift my arm enough. This was worse then any other injuries I had gotten from Remus yet. Lily grabbed her wand from her pocket and muttered an incantation, which caused my shirt to slice open and fall off of me. There was blood soaking my whole arm, dripping on the floor. My hip wasn't much better.

She grabbed a think rag from the box and pressed it to my shoulder. It stung badly and I let out a gasp.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, this is cleaning the wound." she said, and grasped my hand tightly. She took off the rag thing and looked for a moment into the kit. She came out grasping a purple potion in a clear vial.

"This should fix your muscles, making them mend back together by themselves." She poured four drops of the potion on to my shoulder where it felt like ice water dripping. My shoulder started smoking slightly and I experienced the weirdest sensation, like I could feel everything moving in my shoulder, tingling everywhere. Once the smoke cleared, there was only a long line along my shoulder. She grabbed a light blue potion this time, which only required two drops, which also created smoke. But when the smoke cleared, so did all of the pain. What had been a huge bite mark on my shoulder was now just a very small, white line on the top of my shoulder. I looked at her in wonder.

"You're hip next I think." she said with a slightly more confident voice. She grabbed the purple potion again and pushed against me until I was flat on my back. "Uhm, you're going to have to lower your pants slightly for me to get this gash right."

Past being embarrassed by this point, I just lowered them so the whole gash was revealed, not showing anything to her at all. Not like I had a shirt on anyway.

She did her thing on the cut, first with the cleaning rag, then with the purple potion, then with the blue, until I looked down and was shocked to see just a small white scar again, and with no pain.

"Thank you Lily. You're amazing." I said with a sigh, feeling ten times better.

"We're not done yet James. I still have your face." she said, pulling me up closer to her. I realized then that I was extremely light headed.

"Right, ok." I said, as she pressed the rag to my face, which stung horribly but was over quickly. The purple potion didn't seemed to smoke as much, same with the blue. She then rummaged through the kit until she came out with a small canister.

"It will get rid of the scar. It won't work for the other two though, those were way too deep." She unscrewed the cap of the scar remover and it was a clear, smooth substance. When Lily put it on my face, it felt like a nice caress of cool water again.

"There, all finished. Thank Merlin I was interested in healing last year."

I could tell from her voice that she was still scared, but was trying to hide it.

"Lily I'm sorry. But I'll explain everything in the morning. I'm still feeling light-headed. Can you help me to bed?" I said, still leaning against her.

She nodded reluctantly and pulled me up against her, which made me see black dots dancing in front of my eyes. She put one arm around her shoulders and forced most of my weight on hers. She half dragged, half carried me up the steps to her room. She laid me on the bed gently and went to the bathroom where she came out with a wet washcloth. Lily gently started rubbing away all of the blood off of my chest and stomach, also my hip and face. It felt fantastic. She rubbed the washcloth everywhere until there wasn't any blood left.

"Let's get you to bed then." she said, smoothing back my hair. She laid me down just like I had done to her hours ago.

"Where are you going to sleep?" I asked her, confused as to why I was in her room, but too tired to really care.

"Here stupid." She said teasingly, and crawled in the bed on the other side. I couldn't move much but she slid over to me and rested her head on my chest. "I'm really glad you're ok, but if you don't tell me what happened, I'm going to put you in worse shape then you were just in."

"That's my girl." I said, and she leaned over and kissed me gently, before turning off the lights and snuggling up against me, where I drifted off to sleep.

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**A/N: i hoped you liked this one, being from jame's point of view. I just needed to add some action into it, and that was the easiest way of doing it. I hoped you guys liked it a lot though, as i just finished it at 1:30 in the MORNING. That's how dedicated i am to you guys (:**

**i'm slightly disappointed by the lack of reviews, but it's ok, i understand. still it'd be super nice IF YOU WOULD PLEASE REVIEW AT LEAST A LITTLE.**

**k thanks.**

**p.s. Be prepared for some grease.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is the magical being behind Harry Potter, not me. sorry guys.**

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SIRIUS P.O.V. (just for a little while, since you all asked)

Leaning on Peter was doing no good. It's not like he was the same height as me, not even close. This was getting ridiculous. I was basically dragging my own arse to the dormitory. Blood was spreading everywhere.

"Look, Pete, let's just get the map quickly and go down to the Hospital Room. Poppy won't ask questions, she never does." I said, trying to be reasonable and not sounding too demanding, cause I know Peter is trying to help.

"I can fix you Sirius! I have all the potions!" Peter says, way too eager to please me, like always. Sometimes I don't know why we invited him into our group, but then there were other times that I remembered that he could be a really cool guy.

"Nah Pete, this is better. 'specially since it's real bad this time. I'm struggling to even talk right now, let alone walk." he nods, finally convinced and we turn around after he grabs the map. Checking to make sure the coast is clear, we pass the Fat Lady who screams after us, "What was the point in waking me up!"

Oh well, she always forgives me. We make our way down through the secret passageways, only avoiding Mrs. Norris on the fourth floor easily by slipping into the passageway behind the Great Lake portrait.

I stumbled into the Hospital Room and Peter left me on a bed to go and wake Madame Pompfrey. She walked quickly into the room, putting a robe on.

"Mr. Black! What have you done to yourself?" she said, shocked. Too tired to respond, I just laid back on the bed. Looking at my watch, I saw that Poppy wouldn't need to go and retrieve Remus for a couple more hours.

Madame Pompfrey rummaged around in a cabinet after checking out all my injuries, noting the worst was my left side and ankle, which appeared broken, or at least the tendons ripped. Stupid werewolf claws.

She fixed my face first, so it wouldn't scar over, and then moved on to my left side, where she did her magic with potions and a few spells, making me feel ten times better. The dry blood however, was completely ruining my hair. After fixing my ankle quickly she went back into the cabinet and gave me a small potion.

"It'll help you sleep." she said in response to my questioning look.

"Ah Poppy, you always know what pleases me." I say to her with a wink, which results in her blushing slightly and turning away. Always so easy to turn on the charm.

I downed the potion quickly, which tasted like syrup. The last thing I thought as I drifted off to sleep was wondering if she'd let me go down for breakfast soon, because I was starving.

LILY P.O.V.

I couldn't let him no how much he had just scared me. When he had walked in to the common room and tripped, I was going to scold him for being out so late. Never had it crossed my mind that he would be covered in blood, about to pass out from blood-loss. He had scared me greatly, and it was this that made me realize how I truly felt about him. No longer was it some school girl crush. The way I felt about him was past this now. I thought he had been dying, which was a slight hyperbole yes, but in that situation, I didn't know anything. All I saw was blood, everywhere, around James, the man that I lo… I didn't even know what to think.

Was this what love was? Being so scared and worried at the slightest distress of your partner? Not having any care for yourself, but having them dominate your thoughts? Having their safety be the first thing to cross your mind? Seeing them hurt, feeling the immense pain so intensely cross your heart, worried that you might lose them. Falling asleep thinking only about him, and hoping against hopes that he's thinking of you too.

Having never experienced love, or anything even close, I didn't know, but this aching in my chest must mean something. And nothing could replace the surge of protection and fear when I saw James enter the common room. I knew I had to tell him eventually, but first I needed to hear his side of the story. Before I killed him…

And with that last thought, I drifted to sleep in James arms.

I woke up with a jolt, sitting up in bed. I had just had the most vivid dream. It had been about the little boy, like the one in my thoughts before the dance. He had been crying and my heart had reached out to him. I was completely out of breath. I looked down at James who was reaching clumsily for his glasses, woken up by my abruptness.

"Whazzgoinun?" he said incoherently. I laughed, and that seemed to relax him slightly. I got up and he looked at me questionably.

"Bathroom." I responded. I quickly rushed in the room and brushed my teeth. No way was I going to have morning breath. That's just plain embarrassing.

I raced back to the room, realizing just how cold it was, and rushed into the bed, pressing myself up against James warm body, who automatically wrapped his arms around me.

"Here I am, expecting a screaming and accusing Lily, and I get the nice and cuddly version. I quite like this change of plans." he said jokingly.

"I'm a little too cold to be ferocious right now." I said back with a grin. He responded by kissing my forehead. "So, let's start with last night. Why the hell did you show up half dead on my doorstep?"

"Well see, this is kind of tricky, since it's not really my secret to tell. You see, I was…helping out a friend." he said, pleading with his eyes for her to not get mad.

"You're going to have to be a little more descriptive than that. Judging by the fact that you had a huge gash on your face and claw marks on your hip, not to mention the bite on your shoulder, I'm guessing you wrestled with a rather large animal. A bear?" I laughed joking. But then, the pieces fell together. "Wait…it was a full moon last night. Remus.. You didn't! That would mean.. but you got bit! What the hell James Potter!"

I knew I must look livid, because James seemed to shrink next to me, then get confused. "Ok, since when have you known about Remus?"

"Since we did boggarts obviously." I said, can't helping myself to sound slightly proud, saying as no one else knew.

"Does Remus know you know?" he asked me.

"Yes, I confronted him, gently, and he's fine with it. I think he's actually sort of glad. Besides, it makes no difference to me." I said back, still angry.

"Ok, well that makes this easier. I'm just going to show you though, it'll be a lot easier than explaining it." he said, and made to get out of the bed.

"What do you mean show-" but I was cut off by James transforming into a beautiful stag right in front of me. My draw felt like it dropped to the floor.

"You're a-a an animagous!" I paused to catch my breath. "That's completely illegal and irresponsible. How'd you manage that! And at this age." before I could stop myself though, I had slipped out of the bed and reached my hand out. I pet the beautiful stag by the ear, laying my hand down on his head. It's eyes closed and leaned into my touch. I jumped back in shock.

Before I knew it, he had transformed back into himself. He reached for me cautiously and I finally understood without him explaining.

"Oh James!" I said, and flung myself into his arms. "You are a great person. Helping Remus like that. I can't believe you, but at least it's for a good thing. I'm guessing Sirius and Peter are too? I can't believe you'd do something like that, but in a way I can. You're such a great friend."

'You're seriously ok with this?" he asked unbelievingly. When I nodded he caught me up in another hug. "Oh thank goodness. I thought you'd be furious for sure. We had to do it for Remus. He was just in too much pain. But yes, Sirius is a huge black dog, and Peter is a rat."

"A rat? Why?" I asked. "That seems…slightly less.. Manly." he laughed at the puzzled expression on my face. "Oh shut it."

"Because something needed to be able to slip under the tree and stop the willow. Peter volunteered." he said shrugging.

"James I- I don't know what to say. You're so incredibly brave and kind." I was overwhelmed by his courage to be around a werewolf once a month. "Just to be clear, he bit you when you were a stag, right?"

"Yes, don't worry, he did." he said with a laugh.

"Well good. What about Sirius and Peter? Are they alright?" I replied.

"Peter's fine, and hopefully Sirius is, I'm sure either Peter or Poppy fixed him right up." he looked worried for a second but then seemed to shake it off.

He started to say something else, but before he could, I yanked him down so we were face to face, which made him pause. I pressed my forehead to his, and our lips were not touching yet, but they were achingly close.

"You really scared me." I whispered, my lips touching his as I whispered the words to him slowly. "It made me realize what I would feel if I lost you. And I don't want to feel that way. Ever."

"You won't." he said. "Don't worry about me. It's you I'm worried about. I'm a pureblood, they won't care."

"I'll always feel safe with you." I said, also in a whisper, and then my lips were on his as they had never been before, and I was surprised to feel tears silently rolling down my cheeks, tasting the salt. Our breaths mixed together sweetly as this gentle yet passionate kiss continued. It was sweet and perfect and just James.

After a while we broke apart, and I found we had made our way back to the bed. We laid down and he caressed my cheek softly every few moments.

"Hey James?" I asked, rising to look at him. He hummed in response. "When we leave Hogwarts, well, I don't really have any place to live, saying as Petunia has the house. Would it be ok, could I maybe, could I live with you?"

He looked at me hesitantly and then worried I had gone too far I started again, "Not wanting to move to fast or anything, and it doesn't mean anything of the sort, I just don't have a place to go, and Sirius said that he lived with you for a while, so I figured you had extra space and I-" but he cut me off with a short kiss.

"Lily, of course you can come and live with me. And I don't care what it means. If what your thinking does happen, than I'm perfectly happy with that. Besides, I'm not about to let you go that easily."

About as happy as I had felt since my parents death, I couldn't help but think of how great my life was turning out to be, and all because of James Potter.

Before I knew it, my birthday was a day away. It was January 29, and classes were in full force again. Because of the second term starting, the teachers were all over us about N.E.W.T.'s. I was very focused on my exams, and wasn't really worrying about my birthday at all. I mean yes, I was turning 18, but it really didn't matter all that much.

My relationship with James had blossomed since our talk of living together. People were shocked at first, wondering if it was some prank, but people got use to it quickly and many claimed they knew it was going to happen all along.

One person was very angry about it though. Severus Snape. He had come back at the beginning of the second term and when he saw James and I walking in the hallway for the first time, holding hands, he literally froze, stopping people in their tracks. He had just stood there as we walked away. I had received two notes from him but I had burned them before reading them. I was done with him.

I found myself in the presence of the Maraudars more than ever now that James and I were dating. I realized how nice and caring they really were, once you got past all the cockiness and the flirting. Remus had finally accepted the fact that I didn't mind him being a werewolf, and opened up to me greatly. Sirius had always been exuberant but I found he was rather quite smart once you got passed the image of his. Out of all of them Peter kept to himself the most. When I asked Sirius about it, he said that usually Peter was the most talkative of them all around company, and must have something on his mind, maybe a girl, which he then taunted Peter with for the rest of the afternoon.

I went to bed the night of the 29th very tired, and thanking Merlin I could sleep in on my birthday, it being a Saturday.

However, I was awoken by a very off-key voice singing me Happy Birthday very loudly at 9:00 a.m. instead, holding a huge breakfast tray.

It was filled with bacon, toast, eggs, and then pumpkin juice, orange juice, and even butterbeer. There was also a card and a small box next to the drink choices.

James stood over my bed, clearly pleased with himself which made me laugh.

"Well come and join me then!" I said to him. He handed me the tray and then sat down next to me, propping himself up with pillows so he was in a sitting position. I did the same. "Thank you for the food, and the song." I said and gave him a morning kiss to which he responded enthusiastically.

"You're welcome. And Happy birthday." I thanked him again and then we dug into the food, surprised to find myself ravenous.

Making small talk was easy over breakfast. We talked about James' upcoming Quiddich match, and how he was excited because if they beat Slytherin, they would win the Quiddich cup.

After we had wolfed down all the food, he picked up the card and box. He handed me the card first and gestured for me to open it.

It was a lovely home-made card that he had written in all of our closest moments together, all of our sweetest words. The card was covered in sweet nothings and smelled strongly of chocolate which made me smile. "Thank you, it's very sweet."

He then handed me the box which I opened slowly. I gasped when I saw what was inside. It was a beautiful diamond necklace. It was a simple silver chain and at the end was a heart-shaped diamond, beautifully cut and masterfully simple.

"James, don't tell me this is real. There's no way-" but he cut me off by reaching for it and forcing me to turn around.

"Hold your hair for me will you?" he asked, and I have to obey because he is being way too kind. He warm hands brush against my neck briefly and the necklace goes around my neck, resting in the perfect place. He clasps the necklace quickly and then traces his hands down from my neck to my arms and back again. He lowers his mouth to my neck and gently begins kissing the hollow of my neck and shoulder. I push him off gently and turn him around to face me.

"Thank you James. It's beautiful."

"You're welcome. And so are you." he said openly, making me blush. I kiss him gently on the lips and then get up, to which he protests loudly.

"I need to shower." I tell him and he sighs dramatically before following me into the bathroom but then going on to his room.

"Hurry up, I have a whole day planned for us Birthday Girl!" I laugh at his nickname and then pull the door shut, stepping into the shower.

Once I was out of the shower and magically dried and changed, James took my hand and led me down to the Entrance Hall, where most people called out Happy Birthday greetings.

He led me out the front door and we walked to Hogsmeade in pleasant silence. Lucky it was a Hogsmeade weekend, but the weather was quite cold, and I was glad I had on my heavy coat and hat, not to mention gloves and scarf.

The rest of my day was spent in Hogsmeade, goofing off with James, eating at the Three Broomsticks, enjoying quality time with my boyfriend. We went into all the shops, except for Madame Puddifoot's, which we both ignored heavily, and enjoyed the nice day we had to relax. He made me laugh constantly and I couldn't remember a better Hogsmeade trip in a very long time.

By the time we were making our way up to the castle, I was very exhausted. James however, seemed very excited for something and seemed to be leaping in excitement.

"What is up with you?" I asked and he just grinned in response, pulling me forward faster. We made our way up to the Portrait Hole in record time, thanks to James pulling and he said the password quickly.

He motioned for me to go first, so raising an eyebrow at him I did, and when I stepped through the door a huge crowd was waiting for me, banners everywhere, the place completely unrecognizable.

"SURPRISE!"

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**A/N: i know that there wasn't much grease, i was going to add a lot more Snape, but i got too tired, saying as it's well pass midnight, again. This seems to be the only time i can write. Rest assured, he will make an appearance eventually. I hope you liked this chapter, it's kind of a filler, but i enjoyed it. And This is her real birthday, At least that's what it says on her headstone, so i kind of added this in here. PLEASE REVIEW. i feel super sad, cause i only got 5 reviews for the last chapter, and i thought it was quite good. If they aren't then tell me, and i'll stop writing, because there's some awful stories on this site who are getting ten times more reviews than me.**

**Remember, reviews keep me going, so just click the little box below this and write something nice (please) or mean (not really) and keep me happy! or else i won't keep writing. Ok that's not true, i will, because i enjoy it, but it'd be very appreciated.**

**Thanks guys!**

**Tibby09296**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is a beast, i just try to match her skills.**

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I looked at everyone all around the room, shocked that this many people could even fit into the common room.

"Lily! Happy Birthday!" Sirius pushed his way through the crowd of people to give me a big hug. "Hope you like the party, all my idea of course." he winked at me.

"Actually, the credit goes to me in that aspect." said James draping a hand around my waist lazily and raising an eyebrow at Sirius. He pulled me in tighter and leaned down to whisper in my ear, "Happy birthday Lils."

"Thank you. All of you." I looked around the room to see a huge collection of friends. Mostly Gryffindors, a lot of Ravenclaws, and a few Hufflepuffs.

They all raised there glasses to me and then continued on with their conversations or with dancing, as I noticed a huge dance floor in the middle of the room, with many couples dancing, some inappropriately at that and I recognized Emma being the one with that, and I rolled my eyes.

The first half of the party went by rather quickly, I walked around the room with James at my side, thanking people for coming and thanking them for the presents that were all on one huge table to the side of the room, almost overflowing.

"Hey Lily, you know this is suppose to be you enjoying yourself, not playing host. Let's go dance." James said, slightly seductively in my ear, making me shiver.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the dance floor just as a slow song started to play. I put my arms around his neck and he put his hands on my waist. I laughed lightly and answering his questioning look, said, "it's just the last time we danced like this, it was when I started to fall for you."

Instead of responding he pulled me to him even closer and I rested my head on his chest, basking in the warmness I felt whenever I was with James.

I couldn't even begin to describe the feelings I felt for James. He helped me, he wanted me to be the best person I could, he never let me fail. He was always there, next to me, always there for me. He was so kind to me, and never ever pushed me into doing anything I didn't want to do. As I stood there, going round in circles, hugging James, I realized I had finally figured out what love was.

Almost bursting with happiness at this discovery, I looked up at him and beamed. He smiled back and kissed my forehead, "What's got you smiling so much Lily Flower?"

"You do James. I just realized. I'm in love with you. I love you James Potter." his eyes widened slightly and he stopped dancing, just stood there, holding me. And then the panic settled in. What if I had said that too soon? Oh Merlin, this was going to be embarrassing. Just as I opened my mouth to say sorry he pushed his lips against mine, gently, lovingly.

He pulled away quickly and bent down so his mouth was at my ear. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear you say that. Lily, I love you too. I always have."

hearing those words, I beamed again and he reached the distance between us quickly and pressed his lips against mine once again, wonderfully gentle and just James.

"I'm so" I paused, not sure what to say, "I'm just so happy. How can I be this happy when all these people are dying and the war and,"

But James cut me off. "Lily, that's why you should be happy. We need to be happy in a time like this. It's the only thing to keep us going."

"You're right, I'm sorry for ruining the mood." I said glumly.

"Lily, you just told me you loved me. Nothing could ruin that mood. Trust me. Now let's go open your presents!"

The rest of the night flew by. I never left James side, and he never parted from mine. My presents were very nice, but uneventful compared to the man by my side.

One by one as the guests left, I felt a sort of anticipating settling in my stomach, like something big was going to happen. As the last person left, Sirius, slightly drunk from all of the Firewhiskey he had brought, James swept the door closed behind him. Before it even closed completely, his lips were on mine.

Here was the hunger again. Where I couldn't settle the insane desire, couldn't feed the hunger, my need of _James. _Half carrying, half dragging, he led me to one of the desks in the corner of the room, barely stopping to breath before catching my bottom lip in between his teeth and pulling gently, causing me to whimper slightly with pleasure. He lifted me up and I sat on the desk, him leaning down with both hands resting on the desk on either side of me. Wanting to get closer to him, I wrapped my legs around his waist and yanked him as close to myself as I could without falling off the desk. He responding enthusiastically, closing the gap between us. My body was pressed up against his, I could feel his heartbeat against my chest. There wasn't a single sliver in between us, and yet it was not close enough.

The fire was everywhere, not just in my lips, but in his hands, which were now trailing up and down my arms, resting tantalizingly on my hips. I broke off to breath and he continued down my neck, finding the spot between my neck and collarbone with perfect precision. And that was when I realized that I couldn't live without James, I was his, and he was mine. So I decided…to be slightly…bad.

My hands trailed hesitantly down to where his shirt reached his pants, and lifted it ever so slightly. He stiffened against my neck, but only paused for a second, so I could life the shirt above his head. I had seen him shirtless of course, living together would cause that, but I still couldn't stop to marvel the beauty of him. His perfectly sculpted muscles, well-defined because of Quiddich, seemed to scream for attention. He had the body of an angel, or a god. I put my hands against his chest and then trailed along up the contours of his chest and abs, finally reaching up to his face to caress it gently before pulling it down towards my mouth, where I kissed his cheek, his jawbone, and then went further and further, before I had him gasping slightly too. I couldn't believe that I could make him feel even half as good as he made me feel, and this gave me some slight satisfaction. But then, it wasn't enough, so I brought my lips back up to his. But I needed more, and I knew James did too, but also knowing that he was too much of a gentlemen to do it himself.

So I reached down, and pulled off my shirt.

He gasped slightly and broke away looking at me. "Lily, what are you doing? You don't have to-" but my lips were once again on his, and he responded without hesitation. I grabbed one of his hands and placed it on my back, right on top of the clasp.

"Do it." I said, pulling away for a brief moment and then diving back in. But he pulled away first.

"Lily, I can't. If you start taking your clothes off, I won't be able to stop." he said, pleading with his eyes, but I could see the longing and hunger in them too.

"James, I love you. Now do it." and pulled him against me once more. There was slight hesitation again, but his hand shakily made it's way back to the tiny clasp, and struggling for a moment, finally released it, and pulled it off the rest of the way. He gasped again.

And suddenly, I was embarrassed. What was I thinking! I was barely a B-cup. No doubt James was expecting at least a C or something. Mortified, I started to move away but he pulled me against him, skin to skin, and looked me in the eye.

"You're beautiful, perfect. Don't be self-conscious." His eyes were burning hazel orbs, going straight into mine, making me shiver, and then suddenly, his lips attacked mine again, and the clumsiness and embarrassment washed away.

We stayed that way for a long while, lips molded together, never breaking apart, skin against skin. And then he broke away, and traveled down to my neck, and then went lower, and…lower.

I gasped slightly, and then it was just pleasure, and more. But then, I got tired of having all the fun, and pulled him back up to me, attacking his lips with mine, making him moan when I bit down on his lower lip.

But it still wasn't enough.

So I reached my hands down and started undoing his belt. But his hands stopped mine first, and put them on his shoulders. I stubbornly reached back down, but he grabbed them again. And that's when the embarrassment kicked back in again. I pulled away from him and grabbed my bra, hastily putting it back on. He stopped me when I reached for my shirt.

"Lily." he said, but I cut him off.

"Do you not _want _me or something?" I glared at him, tears threatening to overflow, but only one that seemed to linger on my cheek, just wanting to be wiped away.

And of course that what he did, caressing my face as he did so. "Lily, of course I love you. And of _course _I want you. But I'm not going to do something you'll regret later. It wouldn't be fair to you."

"But I'm not drunk! I'm not intoxicated, I'm not anything, except completely and totally in love with you." I said with indignation.

He smiled at me. "Lily Flower. I didn't mean that. But I don't want to be your first and take your gift away if someone else were to have you for the rest of your life."

"What if I told you that I want to spend the rest of my life with you?" I looked at him hesitantly, peering up through my eyelashes.

"Well then I'd propose tomorrow. I'm ready Lily, but, and please don't get angry, I'm not sure if you're completely serious right now. You're my first and only true love, and I'll love you for eternity, but I don't know if you really do feel that way, or if you're just caught in the moment. And I don't want you regretting something. I don't want you to make the mistake I did, and waste something that important."

But my mind didn't seem to be functioning properly. He had talked about proposing. Marriage. The word seemed so foreign, and yet at the same time, so right. And then the rest of the words sunk in, and I realized this wasn't about him not wanting me, or anything silly like that. He was just thinking of me, as always. So I beamed up at him, and caught his lips in mine once more. He seemed confused, but kissed me back.

"May I ask why you're kissing me? I thought you were going to be angry with me. In fact, I'm pretty sure this is our first argument." he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Because you just told me that you were considering proposing. Or at least it had crossed your mind." and I smiled again at him.

"But why would that make you so happy?" he asked, a hint of a smile dancing across his lips, threatening to appear.

"Because that means that I would never be alone again." and then he was kissing me, and it was something different this time, because this was a kiss of not just a boy and a girl who had "feelings" for each other, but this was different. It was two people who might just be destined to be.

And it was the best birthday I had ever had.

A few weeks later.

N.E.W.T.'s had arrived, and I was struggling, lashing out at everyone who was in my way of studying, or making too much noise in the common room. If I wanted to be an auror, I would have to get top marks, and this was not working out too well for me. Of course I was smart, I had made head girl, but being with James this year, not to mention my parents death, had sort of taken it's toll on my studying habits, preferring to do my homework in the class before instead of wasting time when I could be with James.

But they were here, and I was struggling, insanely. Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Charms, and Herbology were the ones I _had _to get at least Exceed Expectations on. Ancient Runes, Care of Magical Creatures, and Astronomy however really didn't matter, but I still wanted to succeed.

"So what exams do we have tomorrow?" asked Sirius. We were all lounging in the Head's common room, the Gryffindor Common room being too loud for us. Mary, Alice, Emma, and I, along with James, Remus, and Sirius. Peter was once again mysteriously absent.

Emma answered first, checking her list. "Transfiguration, Care of Magical Creatures, and Astronomy." We all groaned.

"Three? Well at least Astronomy isn't until midnight." Remus muttered, opening his Transfiguration book and getting out an eraser to practice on, making it turn into a guinea pig and back again.

And that's what we all did, all night long, practicing, reading, quizzing, and panicking, not going upstairs until at least 3 a.m., and Sirius just stayed to sleep on the coach, claiming he was too tired to take another step.

We got up early, stumbling down to breakfast in sort of a haze. Almost all of the seventh years and all of the fifth years had books underneath the table, eating anything they grabbed, not even looking, which was how a tweedy looking fifth year accidentally bit a quill instead of a peace of bacon. Some were practicing turning their drinks into other things and what not, causing poor Meghan Dollop's to explode in her face, causing it to turn black with soot. (extra points who can tell me whose mother that is, I'll give you a shout out ;) ) She was ushered out of the hall when she burst into tears to receive a calming potion. We didn't really talk much throughout breakfast, more worried than anything else. And then, it was time for our first class. I walked apprehensively to Transfiguration, separating with James after a kiss for good luck. I had the practical exam first, while he was taking the written exam first.

I followed the directions we had been given and found myself in a crowd of seventh years that I recognized. I went and stood by David Chang, who at least I want friendly with. We didn't talk much, just waited as names were called in no particular order. And then a small, wrinkled old woman came out of the door and called the names, "Samir Patil, Matthew Dunlop, Alex Benson, Victor Brown, and Lily Evans." I rose quietly from my seat and David wished me luck. I couldn't respond properly. I walked into the room and was surprised to see it was the great hall, not knowing that there were doors other than the entrance hall leading out of it. There were small cubicles all around the room and in just a quick glance I saw Remus fighting off a boggart, the full moon in front of him. How people didn't realize he was a werewolf was beyond me. I was led to a cubicle where a old wizard was sitting down in a chair and staring at a clipboard.

"Ah, Miss Lily Evans I believe?" he said, in a slightly squeaky voice looking up from his clipboard.

"Yes, that's me." I said, too formally, but I was so nervous!

As if sensing my feelings he said, "Ah, no need to feel nervous dear. Now if you could just transform this rock into a dog for me now," that was easy. Confident I waved my wand and saw the rock transform into a beautiful Golden Retriever. I looked slightly to my left and saw Amos Diggory do the same thing, even more gracefully than I did.

"Ah wonderful now I would like you to transform the dog into a platypus." and so it went. Overall I felt I did rather well, and the nerves decreased slightly. Near the end my examiner was clapping with delight. "Simply enchanting Ms. Evans. You may go!" he gave me a cheerful wave as I walked away. But then the nerves came back. Time for the written exam.

I walked into McGonagall's room, stomach bubbling with anticipation. The second round of exams according to my schedule were about to begin. I slipped in among a throng of students and sat down in my own seat, all the tables were separated. Once everyone was sitting, McGonagall walked in and waved her wand.

"You now each have an impermeable charm around you. You can not see out of it, nor can anyone see in, except for me. The exams are now on your desk." she waved her wand and the exams appeared. "You have one hour, wait until it is up before turning in your tests. Good luck. You may begin." and she went to sit at her desk.

_Question 1: What is the name of the spell that transforms a frog back into a tadpole?" _Smiling slightly to myself, I continued on through the questions, getting more difficult as I went along. I glanced up at the hour glass every few minutes, and was glad to see that I only had ten questions left with more than twenty minutes left. They went by quickly, and soon I was done, finally thankful one exam was over.

The rest of the week passed by slowly and fast at the same time. Break periods flying by, answers melding together, and yet the exams seemed to be the longest time ever spent in one place at Hogwarts. At the very end of the week, drained and exhausted, we were all once again in the Head's Room, this time with a plethora of food around us, thanks to Sirius. We were all laughing and having a good time, relaxing and joking around. Not wanting to focus on the exams after they were done was a great idea. I just decided to not stress about it until the reviews came in. It was a waste of time to fret about it now.

"Can you believe that N.E.W.T.'s are over?" Emma said, leaning against Remus' shoulder, looking like she was about to pass out.

"No, I never thought they were going to end." Mary said from the corner, where she was playing Exploding Snap with Sirius.

"Well I can!" Sirius said. "It's about time they're over."

"Yeah, but this means that school is over in two weeks! What are we going to do in our classes now?" Emma responded back.

"I talked to some of the seventh years last year. Apparently most just let you leave, Flitwick throws a party, and with Merrythought we get to finally draw up the Giant Squid and experiment with one of it's tentacles, since it can grow one back in less than a day." Remus said.

"That's kind of sick." I said in response to the squid issue. He nodded his agreement and I tucked my head in tighter to James chest, which is where I was currently laying, my feet tangled with his on the couch. His hand was lightly stroking my hair.

And then it hit me. I was leaving Hogwarts in two weeks. My home. And I wouldn't be coming back this time. Forever.

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**A/N: I'm so so so so so so so sorry that i haven't updated in forever. Just with school starting and swimming starting back up, i have had literally NO TIME, so i tried to make it up to you in this chapter with loads of fluff. I'll be better about my updates, i promise! If you can tell me the five names of people i added in here that are Harry's friend's parents first, i'll give you a shout-out. And i'm done asking for reviews. If you want to, go ahead, but i'm going to update anyway. Thanks for reading (:**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Hey guys, just a quick thing before I start. I'm trying to do this in the most accurate way that I can. We all know that they died on October 31, 1981, making both of them 21. Well we also know that they graduated when they were 17/18. To have 9 months of pregnancy and then of course, Harry's first year, since we do know he was a year old when it happened, as Sirius got him a broom, I kind of pieced together that they got married either at age 18-19. So since Lily and James were in school from 1971-1978, we know that they had three years together, so I'm having them get married the summer/fall after school, as that seems the most plausible in my eyes. If you disagree or have proof that this is wrong, please let me know! Thanks.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except for the plot (:**

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One more week. That's all the time I had left of my home. Of being completely safe. One more week and then I was officially done with my schooling. One more week. Only seven days. This is where I had grown up, the place where I first learned, first loved. I couldn't picture myself not at Hogwarts, and yet it was happening. And this was an ending. No matter how many of the teachers told us now our lives were officially starting, I didn't believe them. I had already lived 18 years, and I had seen things that no 18 year old should. And yet it was a beginning in a way. It was the beginning of my life with James, a new beginning, a new chance.

The last few days went by so fast, and before I knew it, I was packing, only setting aside my robes for graduation, which was tomorrow. I sat down on my bed and felt the soft, cool sheets that had always comforted me. In two days I would have a completely new bed, a new room, a new house. Everything new. And yet it still didn't feel real.

Before I could stop myself, I was thinking about all of the things that had happened over my seven years here. All of the friends I made, the enemies, the fights, the injuries, but most importantly the lessons and loves that I had learned.

And then the tears were flowing. I really wasn't coming back. I was losing my home. As I sat there, taking in my room, just searching, the door opened, and James took one look at the tears soaking on my cheeks, walked over to me, sat down right next to me, and took my hand. I leaned against him habitually and he kissed the top of my head, burying his nose in my hair.

We stayed like that for a very long while, and I'm pretty sure he had even shed a few tears as well. The nostalgia hit me so hard, and I couldn't contain it. What was going to happen to all my friends? Before I could voice my thoughts to James, a brilliant phoenix appeared from a poof of fire. James and I looked up at it, confused.

"Fawkes?" James said, obviously recognizing the gorgeous bird. It seemed satisfied that we were together and cawed slightly. It flew over to us and dropped a note into James outstretched palm. And then with a burst of fire it was gone.

Slightly hesitant, James opened the small note.

_James and Lily,_

_I would appreciate it greatly if you could spare a little bit of time right now to come visit me in my office. I have a very urgent message to share with you. Please come as soon as you can. _

_P.S. I love Droobles Best Blowing Gum._

We stood up automatically. Grabbing hands, we walked down from my room and started our way to Dumbledore's office.

"Lils, you ok?" James asked, looking sideways at me. I smiled at him and took his arm and put it around my shoulders.

"Of course. I'm just going to miss this place. That's all. I wonder what Dumbledore needs." I said, trying to slyly change the subject. He caught on but didn't push the subject. He merely shrugged.

"It's Dumbledore. What are you going to do?"

"Good point." I said grinning at him. We walked together the rest of the way in comfortable silence, enjoying the other's company.

We got to the stone gargoyles and said the password quickly. I knocked on the door and heard a slight enter along with a murmur of people. We pushed open the door together and froze at the entrance. Gathered around in foldable chairs was probably the most different group of people I had ever seen. Some I recognized, some I didn't.

"Ah, Lily, James, go ahead and sit down. We're just about to get started." James and I took seats next to a small man in a bowler hat and Sirius, who looked just as confused as I felt. Two more people entered the room and filled up the remaining spots.

"Ok, now that everyone is here, I would like to do introductions first, before I explain. As most of you know, my name is Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of this school. Now if you would proceed." He pointed to the wizard on his left.

He cleared his throat. "My name is Edgar Bones. I work at the ministry along with my wife, and my sister also works there." Dumbledore nodded and then gestured to the next person.

"My name is Caradoc Dearborn. I work at the Apothecary Shop in Diagon alley." On and on it went. These were the names I didn't know: Dedalus Diggle, Elphias Doge, Aberforth Dumbledore, Benjy Fenwick, Mundugus Fletcher, and Sturgis Podmore. These were the names that I did: Emmeline Vance, Fabien and Gideon Prewitt, Peter Pettigrew, Alastor Moody, Dorcas Meadows, Marlene Mckinnon, Minerva McGonagall, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Rubeus Hagrid, Alice Martin, Frank Longbottom, and Arabella Figg.

"Now that we're all friendly, I'd like to make a small announcement. I have invited you all here because Lord Voldemort has risen to an incredible power, and he needs to be stopped. All of you here are very valuable and talented in your own way, whether it be physical, magical, or you just have a remarkable brain. I would like to start a group of people who are fighting against Lord Voldemort and his supporters, secretive of course for safety, but I would like you all to be in it. I have already come up with a name, and it is called The Order of the Phoenix. You do not have to join here, but you will have to be subjected to a Memory Charm if you choose to leave, for I'm not willing to throw this all away with a bad slip of the tongue. So if you would like to join, I will have you sign this sheet for a permanence feel of things, if not, please inform me and we will get you on your way immediately."

Sirius immediately lunged for the paper and signed his name exuberantly across the top in huge cursive letters. When I raised an eyebrow at it, he said, "So every single person, even with the worst eyesight can see my name, first." James signed beneath his, and then I signed. I handed it to Dedalus who was besides me and he squealed and dropped his hat. I quickly turned around and shot a bewildered look at James, who burst out laughing. I glared at him slightly before he stopped and patted my head clumsily. I felt like I had missed out on a bad joke or something.

Everyone signed the paper, Peter hesitated slightly but did sign it, I don't think anyone caught his hesitation other than Dumbledore and I however.

"Now that that is all settled, I would like to thank you all for coming, and our next meeting will be revealed to you in all different ways, just be prepared, and don't trust anyone other than the people in this room. Thank you. You may all leave." he said ominously. We thanked him quickly and then left the room, walking together.

Alice, Frank, Remus, Sirius, Peter, Emma, James, and I made our way to the head common room, wanting a little bit more privacy. When we got there, we all settled in before the questions started.

"I wonder why Mary wasn't asked." Alice said worriedly, shaking her head and sitting on Frank's lap on the armchair.

"Dumbledore will have his reasons." said Lupin, always the wise one. We nodded in agreement. The rest of the night went reasonably fast, the people leaving in pairs with a whispered goodnight, not sure what to make of the day's events. With a jolt, I realized graduation was tomorrow.

"I'm going to head upstairs. I'm a little tired." I said, yawning and stretching like a cat. James and Sirius, the only two left nodded distractedly. I bent down and kissed James' forehead before walking upstairs. I showered quickly, distracted and brushed my teeth vigorously. I hurriedly put on my pajamas and climbed into my bed, running over the day's events in my head. I knew I had done the right thing of course. Fighting Voldemort would always be the right thing. I just couldn't help but think I was putting people at risk, people I cared about. If Voldemort knew openly that I was fighting against him, not that I was that important, but he could use people I loved as bait, knowing I would do anything to stop him. But that was the danger of fighting him, and it was a risk I was going to take. I laid there for awhile, just thinking and staring up at the ceiling when James came in, in his pajamas also.

"Do you mind if I stay with you tonight? It's one of the last times we're going to be here, so I figured we might as well stick it out together." he said, and I knew that if I said no he would turn around and go back. Leaving me options.

"Of course. Come here." I said and he walked over to me quickly, pulling back the covers and hopping in, shivering from the cool air in my room. I pulled him to me quickly, wanting to feel his warmth, inhale his scent. I nestled my head at the bottom of his neck, and he wrapped his arms around me, our legs tangling together.

Once we were comfortable I looked up into his eyes and whispered, "I love you James Potter." he bent down and kissed me gently on the lips.

"As I love you Lily Evans." and we fell asleep, comforted by the others presence, knowing we were safe in each others arms.

We woke up early, the sun beaming through the windows that I had forgotten to curtain the night before. We laid there for a while, just taking in each other's presence, knowing that this was one of the last moments at Hogwarts. We got up shortly after that. He showered while I tamed my massive head of curls. We got dressed in our robes quickly, and then headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast. We sat at our usual spot which was already quite full.

"The one thing I'm going to miss most about Hogwarts," Sirius said, shoving food in his mouth. "Is the food." I ate my fill and then sat engaged in the conversation, wondering how I was going to live without all of my family here. McGonagall came eventually and had all of the seventh year Gryffindors follow here outside by the lake and near the forest where there were many chairs lined up. She had us sitting in alphabetical order, so I was near the front, next to Sirius. We make small talk for some time before everyone else filled in to the seats behind us all. It was weird seeing the whole school somewhere outside of the Great Hall.

Dumbledore walked up to the large podium sitting on the stage like structure. He cleared his throat and waved his hands and people automatically got quiet. He then pointed his wand to his throat, magnifying his voice.

"There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you'll never understand what it's saying. Here at Hogwarts, we have taught you to follow with your head, and do the smart thing. But doing the smart thing, and doing the right thing are two completely different circumstances. I have hoped that you would be able to figure out these things by yourself in these years, and learn to appreciate the small things in live, your own piece of forever. Your schooling can't obviously last forever. Every good thing must end. But this is a new beginning. You are now starting your lives out into the real world, where there are real people and places and battles and you must be careful to never forget to lead with your heart, and not your head for when there comes a time when a decision must be made and something must change, every one of you will be prepared to be great."

Tears were threatening to flow over my eyes now. Dumbledore continued to talk about life, and friendship and love, finally he seemed to be drawing to a conclusion.

"I hope that all of you will do something for this world one day, and that someday, we might all live in peace, and cherish together." He then stepped back, bowed slightly and went back to his seat. We all stood up and applauded loudly, even earning some wolf whistles.

McGonagall stepped up to the podium now. "I will call all of your names and you will step up and receive your diploma of sorts," she smiled slyly to herself. "You will then stand as still as you can while the Sorting Hat is placed on your head, where it will utter the one word that truly describes yourself, if you wish. But only to yourself, no one else will hear it. You do not have to do this however, it is only by choice, for you could learn a great deal about yourself."

"Narcissa Black." McGonagall called shrilly. A tall girl with blond flowing hair stood up gracefully from the Slytherin section and there was scattered applause. She accepted the "diploma" and sat down on the seat, choosing to hear the word. Her face formed a shocked expression and she quickly removed the hat and walked back to her seat. Sirius was called next and he was applauded hugely along with many wolf whistles and cries from his fan club. He also chose the seat and looked slightly unnerved but never less still got shocked responses when he gave McGonagall a huge hug and kissed her on the cheek, making her go beet red and stammer words no one could here.

Names were continuously called from other houses and then it was Lily Evans. I stood up shakily and walked, trying to be slow, up the steps and grabbed the paper they had given me. I shook McGonagall's hand and then Dumbledore and making a hastily decision sat aboard the seat and jammed the hat on my head.

_Ah, Lily Evans. _I heard in my head. _You shall do great things in your lifetime and shall save many people with your gift. You are love._

It was silent after that and I took off the hat gently and sat back down at my seat. How could I be love? That wasn't even an adjective. And I was pretty sure it was only suppose to be one word, not a whole sentence. But it unnerved me, what he had said. My gift. What was that suppose to mean? I tried to look nonplussed and watched the rest of the graduation in silence, clapping for my friends. James took the hat, along with Mary, Alice, and Remus, but Peter and Emma chose not to, which I didn't question them on. Once the last name was called, we all stood up and McGonagall shot fireworks off of the end of her wand which spiraled into shapes and designs, trailing down on the rest of us with what felt like snow. We all took off our top hats and threw them in the air, screaming and jumping up and down. I hugged Sirius, who kissed me on the forehead and then I turned around, only wanting to see one person, who was of course, waiting for me. My lips found his quickly, and it was easy to lose myself in all of the commotion. He grabbed my hand and pulled away, looking me in the eye. And before I could say a word, he was leaning down on one knee, in front of the whole entire school, pulling a small black box out of his robe pocket, and said,

"Lily Evans, I will love you unconditionally, every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"

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**A/N: dun dun dunnnnnn. sorry for the cliffhanger here! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, i sure liked writing it, even though it's slightly boring, a lot of important things happened. I have some comments to give to people:**

**Voldemort is Going Down: YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON TO GET EVERY SINGLE NAME RIGHT. CONGRATULATIONS.**

**i-fell-hard-4-harrypotter- don't worry, they're not going to, i was going to have it that way anyway.**

**Loslote: you're the first person to guess all the names, even though you got it wrong. Alex Benson is not a parent, nor is Matthew Dunlop, they're just people who go to my school who i borrowed the names of, but you get first for trying. **

**Jade2nightwing: you guessed Seamus' mom first. nicely done!**

**Thanks for reviewing guys, keep them coming, and so will I (:**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is a beast.**

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There was about ten seconds of just impermeable silence as I stood there, rooted to the ground in shock. And then I regained my sense of being, and I bent down to, so we were face to face, eye to eye, heart to heart.

"Yes." I whispered. "I will." And then his smile was on his face, that perfect, slightly cocked smile, and he was looking at me with such love in his eyes that the whole crowd around us disappeared, and it was just us two, as it would be forever more. He reached for my hand and I let him take it, not even paying attention to the pretty ring he put on my finger, I couldn't take my eyes away from his face. And then he was kissing me, like no kiss ever before, because we now belonged to each other and no one else. My first kiss would now be my last, and that was perfectly okay with me.

Wolf whistles started erupting around us, and then a tremendous cheer rang out through the crowd and we resurfaced from each other, grasping hands. It was then that I looked down at the ring on my finger and couldn't help but gasp. It wasn't pretty, it was beautiful. A thin, silver band, with one diamond set in the middle, and smaller diamonds all around it. "It's beautiful." I said, still looking at James.

"It was the ring my father proposed to my mother with." he said simply, and I could tell he was perfectly content, staring at me, staring at him. I smiled up at him and he caught my lips with his in a gentle kiss. We were interrupted by a loud voice.

"It's about bloody time!" followed by a bark like laugh and I turned around to see Sirius. He was grinning broadly and came over to us, clapping James on his back before turning to me and kissing me on the cheek. And then the girls were all there, squealing and hugging me. Remus was also there and gave me a kiss just as Sirius had. Peter was mysteriously absent, but who knew where he was these days anyway. And then Dumbledore was magically there in front of us.

"Congratulations." he said, with a slight twinkle in his eye. And then he was gone, making me even more confused.

McGonagall's stern voice broke out from all the noise. "I know that this is very exciting, but we do need to get back up to the castle for the feast and I'm sure most of you need to back." She had a smile on her face though, so I could tell she was happy for us too, and was trying not to show it.

We walked hand in hand back to the castle, and without a word went down the right passageways to get to our dorm. Even before I had closed the door, his lips were on mine, sending us crashing to the floor, a tangle of arms and legs. These kisses were different also, because we knew we now had all the time in the world for this, so they were slow, yet filled with passion and love. After a very long while, we just laid there, staring at the fire James had created shortly after we had come in. Laying on the carpet, in each others arms, just staring at the flames. James was tracing patterns on my arms, causing the hair to raise and Goosebumps to form.

"I love you." he whispered and kissed my hair, burying his face in it. I reached my hand up to stroke his face.

"I love you too." I replied, looking up at him, keeping my hand on his face, which he then grabbed with his other hand and pulled it to his lips, and kissed it too. It was probably the sweetest thing I've ever seen, and he was all mine.

"Let's skip dinner, ok?" he said, looking at me intently that all I wanted to do was sink in them and stay there forever.

"We can't! It's the last feast we'll ever go to. Come on." I said, and stood up, yanking him up with me.

"fine." he huffed, but then smiled at me, already forgiven. We walked down holding hands, and when we walked in there was a slight pause as the noise ceased around us, and then cheers erupted around us and we smiled slightly before making our way to our seats. The cheering ended when we sat down and I could see Hagrid blowing his nose on his tablecloth sized handkerchief. We ate slowly, savoring the goodness of the meal and recounting memories of the past seven years.

"Do you remember that prank back in third year when we turned all the waters in the showers to back your hair turn blue? Everyone walked around with blue hair for weeks!" Sirius said and Remus and James howled with laughter.

"I remember that. It took ages to get it off! Even Dumbledore had it in his beard for weeks." Emma said laughing at the memory.

"What about when you dated that troll Danny Becker because you didn't know how to reject him?" Mary said to Alice who turned beet red.

"He was so sweet, but he was atrocious. I felt so bad when I told him I wasn't interested, but that was the worst first date of my life." Alice responded while we all laughed at her expression.

"Well I have to say though," Sirius said, pausing dramatically, "It think, even after all of our pranks, James takes the thing that will be remembered most, the lovely proposal at graduation. Imagine the humiliation if she had said no!" he clutched his heart and pretended to faint, causing him to accidentally fall off the bench, making us all burst out laughing, clutching our sides. He resurfaced from the floor laughing too. Once we had calmed down enough, we kept recounted stories until my jaw was sore from talking so much. It was then that Dumbledore cleared his throat and called for attention.

"Another year has gone past, more memories to keep. I am sad to see it go, especially the graduating class, but alas, things always have to end. I hope most of you will at least try to keep in touch. Returning students, I hope you have a good break, and please try not to forget everything. And now for the house cup. Hufflepuff is in fourth with 383. Gryffindor is in third with 402. Ravenclaw is second with 413, and Slytherin comes in first with 417." Thunderous applause rang out from the Ravenclaw and Slytherin sections and groans issued from the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff sections. "Yes, well done, well done. One more thing before we are done here. I would like you all to remember this. Remember who you are fighting against. Thank you, goodnight." Puzzled looks issued from that, but we got up without comment. When James and I reached the entrance hall however, someone's arm was blocking my path.

"Excuse me." I said patiently trying to get through, but the person stepped out from the shadows to face me, and I looked into the sallow face of Severus Snape. Before I could say a word, Sirius and James both closed in front of me, shadowing my view from Snape. They seemed to be saying something, though it just sounded like low hisses.

"Please, I just want to talk to her." Severus was pleading with him, and I could just picture his pitiful expression, and the life-long best friend in me still wanted to comfort him, so I shoved my way through the two men blocking my view.

"It's all right, I can talk to him." I said bravely, though not meeting his eyes. Sirius looked puzzled, but James looked mortified.

"Lily, you can't talk to him! What are you thinking?" he seemed scared for me, which made me feel safe, and I placed his hand on my cheek.

"I'll be fine." I said, and kissed his hand. Then I looked at Severus, whose emotions were hidden by his black eyes. "What do you want?"

"I'd like to speak to you alone, if you don't mind." he said, eyeing my two "bodyguards" apprehensively.

"Ok, Sirius, James, please excuse us for a second." they nodded, though James seemed to be in pain by doing so. Severus and I walked a little down the corridor and stopped a reasonably distance away, close enough to see, but far enough away that they would not hear us.

His eyes melted once he was just with me, and they filled with emotion. Hurt, anger, doubt, mixed with envy, pain, and suffering. I had to look away.

"Lily, what can you possibly be thinking? How can you marry him? This isn't right. You _can't _marry him." he said, pleading with me. I looked at him with no emotion and he flinched.

"What I'm thinking is that I'm in love with him. And who are you to tell me what I can and can't do Snape? We're not best friends anymore. We're not even friends." The last comment made him flinch also.

"I know that Lily, but just know that everything, the Mudblood, the cuts, was a mistake. You don't understand how he can control.." but he trailed off, seeming to be unable to speak.

"Seems like your little master has you under a confidentiality spell. Shame. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to-" but he cut me off by pushing me against the wall. "Let me go!" I said angrily, unable to get to my wand, his hands around my wrists.

"Please Lily. Don't marry him. Don't. You have another option. Any other option. Just don't marry _him." _he said, still pleading with me, but my wrists were throbbing, he was squeezing me too tight, and he was pushing me at an angle that was making it hard to breath.

"James!" I screamed loudly, struggling to get his attention. And then the wait was off of me and Severus was slammed into the wall opposite of me.

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH HER!" James shouted, pushing him into the wall again roughly, holding him by the collar. He continued to shout incoherent things at Severus, while I assessed my damages. My wrists felt slightly swollen, but were nevertheless fine. My throat hurt slightly, and I was sure I'd have bruises in the morning. So I brought my focus to the two people in front of me, and was shocked to see James reaching back to bring his fist on Severus's face.

"NO!" I screamed, which caused James to drop his fist and turn around. I reached for him and he pulled me in his arms. "Don't hurt him. He's not worth it."

"Ok, for you Lily." and then he turned to Severus. "If you ever touch her again, I will triple it on your worthless skin you hear me? Just be glad she was here to stop me." he said with a voice that gave me the chills.

He ushered me away quickly, and I turned back towards my childhood best friend. He was coughing and clutching his throat. But he did manage to look up at me for one last time and looked straight into my eyes, and I saw the one word that could turn my blood even more cold than it was. Please. Never did I think that would be the last time I would ever see him.

James and I made it back quickly to our common room, where I sank automatically on to the armchair and James made a fire spring out quickly. He walked up the stairs quickly without telling me what he was going to do. I sat there for a while, before he came down to me. He picked me up bridal style without a word and led me to the bathroom, where the tub was filled and I could smell lavender coming from the smoke coming out in spirals from the water. He tore off my robes, my socks, then my shoes and stockings. He then unbuttoned my shirt, so slowly, and slid it off, leaving me in just my bra and skirt. He then slipped his own shirt off, revealing his smooth chest, and slipped off his nice pants, leaving him in just his boxers. He then kissed me gently and slid off my skirt. And then, still kissing me, lowered me slowly into the steaming water, following me in deeper and deeper. He kissed me slowly, deeply, and the water swirled around us innocently, bubbles brewing around us, the lavender smell covering us everywhere. And all my thoughts were gone, it was just James, because he was the only real thing here, the only real thing. And then, because I was such a nerd, I laughed and broke away. He looked at me like I had gone slightly crazy.

"Did you seriously just laugh? I guess you're over what happened back there." he said, still puzzled but pulled me on his lap, where I nestled into his neck.

"No, it's not that. It's just I'm having a complete nerd moment. You know Plato right? The renowned writer?"

"Yes, he was actually a wizard, though most of the Muggles just assumed he was a complete genius." he said, but I could tell he was still confused.

"Well, in my head just then, I just compared you to his story, The Cave. Have you heard of it?" I said, staring up at him.

"Yes I think so. The levels of knowledge being represented first by the shadows, then the fire, then the real things, then the sun, right?" he confirmed.

"Yes. It's just, in my head, I was just thinking about how you're the only real thing I have, how you're the realest thing I know, and it's basically like I'm on the level of knowledge you know? You're my realest thing, you're my sun because you make everything else real. You're the highest level of knowledge that I can reach." I explained, hoping I didn't sound so nerdy.

"I'm seriously the realest thing you know?" he asked, the confusion in his eyes melting away to be replaced by passion.

"Yes." I mumbled, embarrassed, not meeting his eyes. He pulled my chin up so I was forced to look into his eyes. And then he bent down, ever so slowly and teasingly went over my lips with his, brushing ever so slightly.

"I love you." he whispered, lips against mine and then we were kissing again, kissing so passionately and he was pulling me deeper and deeper into the water, and into him, and we shared our first underwater kiss, which left me choking and him laughing. But that was over quickly and we continued to explore each other's mouth, while my hands roamed over his back and chest, feeling the rock hard abs there, yet the smooth skin that covered the rest of him.

"You know," I whispered pulling away. "When we get older, you better not go bald or get fat. I might just have to divorce you."

He grinned into my hair. "You better do the same Miss Evans." We got out soon after that and went to his bedroom, wrapping up in towels along the way. Without me even having to ask he threw me a t-shirt and boxers.

"Thanks. They always smell so much better than my clothes." I said, inhaling deeply before pulling off my bra, with my back turned, and shoving his shirt on.

"I would beg to differ. You smell bloody fantastic. But lucky for me, I get to sleep with you tonight, and I'll be inhaling your smell all night long." Seeing the expression on my face he quickly hurried to explain. "I meant literally sleep. I told you, we're doing this the right way."

I ran into his arms and jumped onto him, wrapping my legs around his waist and burying my head into his neck. "I love you." I whispered again.

"As do I." He said, and carried me to the bed, where he threw me down with a bang, causing me to bounce slightly on the bed, making me giggle. He followed suit, throwing himself down dramatically.

We got under the covers quickly, and he pulled me to him, fitting himself perfectly around me and I nestled myself closer to him, wondering how I never realized we fit so perfectly together. I fell asleep quickly, barely needing the covers because James was so warm. I was in my favorite spot in the world, and content knowing that that was where I would stay forevermore.

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**A/N: i'm so sorry i took so long to update! it's just school started and that was completely hectic. But i hope you enjoyed this chapter! I have some review answers for you all!**

**loslate: thanks for reviewing first! thanks i try (:**

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**with love,**

**Tibby09296**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, except for the plot!**

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"I don't want to leave!" I whined, sitting on my bed, all of the contents of my closet and drawers spread around me."I know, but we kind of have to. These rooms are going to belong to someone else soon, and we probably shouldn't be here when the house elves arrive." I looked over to where James was sitting, propped up against the window, half his face in light, half in shadows. Like always I felt slightly breathless knowing that he was mine. His face scrunched up quickly as he caught me staring. "Stop looking at me! I always feel like there's something on my face when you do that."

"I can't help it," I said, laughing, "you're just so darn attractive." he laughed with me quietly.

"Can't blame you there." he said and stood up from the window, bathing himself in light. He walked over to me and took my hands in his. He lowered his voice to a sort of seductive purr. "We don't have to pack if you don't want."

I shivered and I could feel them running down my spine. Before he could lean in, I jumped out of his grasp. "Actually, we do have to pack, you were right the first time." He looked at me with exaggerated sadness and horror. "Oh hush." I said, and kissed him lightly on the cheek. I picked up my wand from where it had been laying on the bed and muttered a quick spell, making all of my belongings fold neatly into my trunk. Frowning, I flicked my wand again, trying to make the socks fold themselves, but all they did was give off a slight quiver. Annoyed, I slipped my wand back into my jeans.

"Come on, we're going to miss our last well, train ride I guess." I said, slipping my hand into his. I shrunk my trunk down to the perfect size and put it in my pocket. We walked down to the gates slowly, taking the long way and reminiscing the times we had, stopping to talk to the portraits, and even saying goodbye to the crazy knight Sir Cadogen.

There were students everywhere, some looking glum, some looking happy and excited. I looked around, savoring my last moment. There was no turning back now. I would never be returning to this place, my childhood. I would never be returning home.

Tears sprung into my eyes unexpectedly as I realized the truth at my last thought. I didn't know where home was. Anywhere with James yes, but I could never return home. Petunia belonged there now. Hogwarts was my true home, and I couldn't return. James, seeming to understand, said nothing, just stood there staring with me. We stayed like that for a few moments before he nudged me with his elbow. He nodded his head to where our group of friends was standing. We walked over to them, still not talking.

"I guess this is it then isn't?" said Sirius, breaking the silence. For once, even he seemed sad, closed off somehow and I realized this must have been his home too, maybe even more than mine.

"Yeah, I guess it is." Alice said, and with that, we all turned our backs and walked out the front doors, not knowing that half of us would never return.

We found a compartment easily enough, though we had to squeeze in slightly because there was so many people.

"Where's Peter?" Emma asked, looking around. We all turned slightly, and realized that Peter wasn't with us.

"Who knows. These days, he's never around. I don't know who he's hanging out with, but I guess they're cooler than us." Remus said with a smile and Sirius scoffed.

"How he thinks he can just dump us, we're the ones who made him coo-"

"Sirius, it doesn't matter." James said coolly, looking out the window. Something was going on in his head. I'd have to ask later.

"Exploding Snap anyone?" said Mary, breaking the tension. All of us agreed and spent most of the remainder of the trip laughing and talking, making plans to have a huge get together the next moment that we could.

All too soon the train was slowing, the scenery changing, being replaced by the huge platform, and then we were at a stop and people were unloading all around me, and I was frozen. James reached down for me and scooped me up, I still just stared at the window. I couldn't move. "I'm not ready." I whispered.

"We have to be." he said quietly and smoothed my hair back. It was only when I looked at his face, took a deep breath and cleared my head that I was ready to leave the compartment. But when we walked out of the train, I was greeted by chaos.

There were flashes of lights shooting from people's wands and I only had time to see several children lying on the ground, covered in blood with figures draped in robes standing over them before I heard a shout and was pushed to the ground roughly by James. I looked up when I heard Mary shout.

"Mum! Dad!" I saw her racing over to where her family was trying to get away from advancing death eaters. They must have been waiting for her to get off the train.

"Mary NO!" shouted Remus, but before he could do anything, I saw my best friend run to her family and through her arms out in front of them, trying to protect them, and saw a hooded death eater pull out his wand and raise it to her. She looked at him defiantly, no fear in her eyes, and then there was a flash of green light and she was falling, falling, falling, and I was screaming.

"MARY! NO!" tears were streaming down my face.

"Lils, she's gone. We can't help her, we have to get out of here." James said, lifting me to the ground. I pulled out my wand, wiped the tears away, concentrated on the task at hand.

"TRAVERS." Sirius bellowed, for the death eater that had just killed Mary hood had fallen off, revealing the man underneath. Sirius ran for him and they started dueling intently, colors clashing into each other as they both fought to pass each others defenses.

I turned to my right to see Remus battling two death eaters at once. Emma and Alice were both fighting their own also, only James and I appeared to have been left alone. But before I could even begin to wonder why that was, my world went black, and all I could see before falling was a pair of bright snakelike eyes staring down at me.

I came to Merlin knows how much later and I could tell I was sitting, and that I was bound by some spell because I couldn't move, nor could I talk. The room was dimly lit, and I could make out outlines of two bodies next to me. One was eerily covered in blood but the other was stirring. I caught sight of the moving one's face and sighed with relief, for it was James. When I looked to my right though, my breath caught in my throat. It was Michael, and he was dead. His shirt was off and etched into his skin, deep cuts were there and I could just make out the words. "Lily Evans." I shivered and began convulsing. Who would etch my name into Michael's skin? I prayed quietly that they had cut him after killing him, but I doubted it, saying as there was dried blood all around the cuts and that was what had most likely killed him.

I saw James take in Michael's appearance and I could see him gagging, muffled by whatever was blocking our speech. I managed to inch over to him, a mixture of rolling and scooting my body back and forth. When I got there, I leaned against him, only to find that I couldn't touch him. There seemed to be some sort of an invisible barrier between the two of us. And that was when the man walked into the room.

His body was normal enough, lanky and lean, maybe slightly too tall to be so thin. He was balding slightly, but you could tell he would have had very well kept hair. His eyes though were the scary part. They seemed to be radiating embers, a gold red color that made my hair stay on end.

"How sweet. The lovely pair trying to reach each other." the voice shook me down to my bones. I knew who he was obviously but I never expected his voice to be so chilling, like ice. "Now, why don't we look respectable?" he said and flicked his wand lazily. A table appeared with three chairs. I flew through the air and landed in the chair. My mouth was released and my bindings wrapped around the chair instead of myself. The same thing happened to James on my left.

The man, having to be Lord Voldemort, sat in a chair opposite of us. He pulled out our wands from his pockets and placed them in front of him, twirling them slightly. Revulsion curled in my stomach as I saw him handling my wand.

"Now that we're all situated. I set up this little plan today you see, because I have a, shall we say, business preposition for both of you." he said, his voice still soft yet cool as ice. I looked at James covertly out of the corner of my eye. "Oh, I almost forgot, congratulations. I heard you recently became engaged. And yet, risky thing to do at a time like this. But nevertheless, it does not have to be." James and I remained silent, staring at the man in front of us, never meeting his eyes.

"Now, what I wish to talk to you about is an offering. I would like to know if you are interested in joining my group efforts. You see, you are both immensely talented and I have been keeping notes from inside sources on you both for many years. And it seems that you two 'bonding' have made you both even more successful. So, what do you think?" He met my eyes for the first time that night and that shocked me even more than any of the events that had taken place. They were scarlet, like I had thought, and yet they were shaped exactly like a snakes and they chilled me down to my core.

James spoke first. "No. I don't accept. You killed my parents." I looked towards him, seeing how his voice was so clear and automatically felt calmer. But then, Voldemort smiled slightly and the pain hit.

I heard someone screaming and eventually realized it was myself. Every surface of my body was being burned alive, stabbed with knives, slowly cutting into, burned off, my bones turned to ashes, seconds turned into years, all I wanted was to die.

"STOP IT! STOP HURTING HER!" I heard, and then the pain stopped. I sat there, gasping for breath and realized I had just been subject to the Cruciatus Curse. James was sitting in his chair, tears pouring down his face, staring at me. "Are you all right?" he asked, but then another spell came over me and I was screaming again. The pain was overcoming me, everything was shifting and all there was, was pain. "STOP!" And it was finally over. I looked up, gasping again, crying with James.

"I'd rethink your answer if I were you Mr. Potter." Voldemort said calmly, still twirling our wands together.

"Don't hurt her!" James said, only staring at me, pleading with me to stay calm. I was shaking, my world was spinning.

"Now, Miss Evans, what would your answer be?" I looked up at him and my tears stopped. This was the man that had murdered my parents.

"I'll join you." I paused and could see the surprise in his face. It was then I knew that he had never expected us to say yes. James looked up shocked, sudden anger on his face. But then I continued, clearing my throat. "I'll join you, when hell freezes over you sick bastard." And then I did something really stupid. I spit on his face. He looked shocked and then stood up, wiping away the saliva.

"Wrong answer." he said, smiling. "You will be seeing me again soon, don't doubt that." And then he was gone and our wands were in front of us and our bonds were broken. I gasped in relief and looked down and there were angry red welts all over my body where the bonds had burned into my skin.

"James." I whimpered. He came over to me and pulled me into a shaky hug.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. He won't ever touch you again. I'm so sorry." he whispered over and over again in my ear.

"James." I said again, my voice getting clearer. "We need to get Michael. His parents deserve to have his b-b-ody." he nodded against me and set me down carefully. He walked over to Michael and muttered a spell. I looked over and the cuts were gone, clear skin in it's wake. He almost looked like he was sleeping.

"Come on." James said, and helped me up. We grabbed our wands and James turned on the spot, still holding on to me and Michael. Then there was pressure on all sides and I felt like I was going through a too small tube, and I couldn't breathe but then it was over and I looked around at where I was. We were in a seemingly small flat and in the living room sitting on the couches were Sirius, Remus, Emma and Alice.

"LILY! JAMES!" they all shrieked our names and rushed over to us. They took one look at me pale appearance, the burns all over us and down to Michael and helped us hobble over to the couches.

"What bloody happened!" exclaimed Remus. "All I remember is Mary dy-dy well you know, and then I was dueling and you two were gone. The death eaters just all disappeared a few minutes afterwards and all around us were bloody people, dead people.. I" but he cut off there, putting his face in his hands.

James explained our nights events quickly, and Emma and Alice both burst into tears when they heard about the curse and Michael dying. Sirius looked like he was going to be sick when Michael was mentioned and Remus didn't remove his face from his hands. When he was done, Sirius left the room abruptly. He came back with a glass for everyone and filled it with a liquid that was faintly red.

"Firewhiskey." he said when I raised my eyebrows. I nodded quickly and took a sip, feeling the burn as it went down my throat.

"Sirius, do you have a blanket or something I can borrow?" I said, shivering. I could still feel the after effect of the curse on me.

"Oh bloody hell Lily. You should have said something sooner. Yeah, hold on." he said and left, returning quickly with a wooly blanket. I thanked him and wrapped it around myself, sharing it with James.

"I c-can't believe she's r-really gone." Emma said. She burst into tears and Sirius put an arm around her.

"It's my fault." Remus said, looking up for the first time. "She was right next to me. I could have grabbed her, but I was too scared."

"No, it isn't anyone's fault. Don't think like that. These things happen in a war. There's no point blaming it on anybody." James said, speaking for the second time that night. His voice seemed to emit a dangerous tone, and no one argued.

"Can we just crash here tonight Sirius?" Alice asked, voice shaking. He nodded and left the room once more, returning with more blankets and pillows. We all laid down on the ground, even Sirius and all of us knew the reason he wanted to stay out with us. I pushed myself up against James, needing to feel him next to me. And that's the way I finally fell asleep, to Sirius' soft snores, crying for my best friend.

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**A/N: I'M SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG. school started back up again and that's just been horrendous, so much homework and i just lost track of time. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, not much romance just a ton of action. sorry about Mary, but its plot essential. I hope you enjoyed it! Please review!**

**Responses:**

**Loslotes: you are welcome (: thanks, even though he's so mean, Snape's one of my favorite characters. He'll be in this story more**

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**Love Forever and Ever,**

**Tibby!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: i don't own anything, when it comes to ideas, i'm homeless.**

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We were told that our attire was optional. Because some Muggles were going to be attending however, Alice and I had agreed it was best just to wear plain dresses so they wouldn't be too freaked out by all of the magic, even though they knew about it. Knowing from experience with Petunia, most Muggles didn't take too kindly to magic. This dress, however, was getting increasingly more uncomfortable, the lace rubbing against my thighs all wrong. I wish I could have worn my cloak, like I had at Michael's funeral last week. Meeting his parents had been one of the worst things I had ever experienced. They looked at me with such sadness.I felt stupid and shallow looking in the mirror. Why in the world should I care what I looked like going to this? This was not about me, it was about _her._ To remember her for the great girl that she was and to mourn. But I couldn't think about that, or I'd start crying again.

I frowned as I looked in the mirror though, and the unfamiliar girl frowned back at me. The burn marks on the pretty girl's arms wouldn't go away, startling red in contrast to her pale skin, seeming to match the flaming hair. This girl wasn't me though. She looked put together and composed. The girl inside was not put together at all. Having witnessed two deaths of people that I would never expected to die, my insides were barely existing, seeming to mold together, barely working, just keeping me alive.

I turned away from the mirror, bending down to grab the makeup in the top drawer. I was still getting used to James' house. Located in Godric's Hollow, it was beautiful. A medium sized cottage that looked straight out of a fairytale book from my childhood. He kept telling me it was my house too, being engaged what was his was mine right? But I still couldn't get use to it. I had my own bathroom. It was probably bigger than my bedroom back home. The tub was enormous and the shower was just as large. The counter spiraled around the whole unit, creating a huge space for me to get ready, like I needed it. I barely filled two drawers. I took out my cover-up and tried and failed to cover the burns left over and shivered. I still couldn't get over it.

I looked up when there was a knock on the door. "Come in." I said softly. James opened the door and I could see him in a Muggle suit, jacket, and holding a tie, looking very dashing. He walked in closer to me.

"I need help with this tie. My mom use to always do it for me, and I just can't get it right." I smiled and reached for it, quickly situated it around his neck correctly and tying it so that it laid perfectly. "You look beautiful, by the way." he said, draping his arms around my waist. He gently kissed my mouth, barely touching and then pulled away. "We're going to be late if we don't get going."

I wrapped my hand around his, loving that his hands were always somehow warm. We walked together down the halls until reaching the front doors.

"Would you like to do it or shall I?" I said, reaching for my wand in my coat pocket and pulling it out.

"Go ahead." he said gesturing. We turned on the spot and then there was the awful feeling of suffocation and being squeezed too tight but then it was over, and we were a little ways away from a spiraling gate and I could see rows after rows of headstones. There was a small crowd filing in when we reached the entrance and we followed them without talking. I looked up from the swishing of cloaks in front of me when I felt slight raindrops falling down on my head. It was sprinkling lightly, just a drop here or there and it felt lovely on my burns.

For the first time since Mary's death, I smiled, really smiled, remembering how Mary was the type of person who would go outside in the middle of a thunderstorm and stand there, arms thrown out, face up, eyes closed, and the biggest smile on her face and she would just spin round and round, loving the feeling of being sopping wet, even when we would scream for her to come inside. I knew she would appreciate the rain if she could, so I appreciated it for her.

We kept walking after that, the rain falling down ever so slightly on us, and we met up with our group of friends quickly. They were all there, even Peter, wearing Muggle attire. I hugged Emma first, glad to see her. Peter followed, then Remus and then Sirius who kissed my cheek. Lastly I hugged Alice and then Frank, who had come with her and that was when I noticed the shiny diamond glittering on her finger. I grabbed her hand and drew it closer to me.

"No way." I said, staring at her, and then I broke into a smile and grabbed her for a hug again. I even hugged Frank again for the heck of it. "When did it happen!"

"A couple days ago." Alice said, grinning too. "of course with the present circumstances we didn't want to make a big deal of it though, but we're very excited." she finished and looked up at Frank with love and adoration in her eyes. He smiled back at her and kissed the top of her head. I congratulated her once more and then we all walked in together.

There were four coffins set in a row on the ground in front of us when we reached the spot. My heart ached when I saw them. Mary, her parents, and Alex. Tiny Alex, only ten years old. I remember how excited he was to go to Hogwarts next year, and now he would never get the chance. We waiting there, making small talk with family members and other Hogwarts students that were attending. We even saw Dumbledore but didn't have the chance to say hello.

A small, tufty-haired wizard came up to the stand and began talking. He described the beauties of life and how tragic it was that Mary and Alex had not gotten to experience it all and went on to talk about their greatest gifts and what they had given to the world. And that's when he called and asked if any family members or friends would like to speak.

An elderly man and woman walked up to the stage and I assumed it was her grandparents. They spoke very beautiful words about Mary's parents, a few small words about their grandchildren and then stepped down. A few more family members went and then Emma went up. She started crying before she even got there. She spoke for a few moments about how Mary had always been there when anybody was having a bad day, how she could make anybody smile.

Alice spoke about a time where Mary and her had first met. It was a slightly touching but mostly funny and sweet memory from our first year Transfiguration class.

And then it was my turn, and I had no idea what to say. I walked up shakily, looking down, not wanting to see her family members, the resemblance between them.

I cleared my throat and began. "Mary didn't deserve what happened to her. She died protecting her family and I saw the look of determination in her eyes when she spread her hands out for them. We should not let her last act go to waste. Mary was one of the greatest friends I ever had. She was so different from every one else. She stopped and appreciated the rain when everyone else ran from it. All of us should try to be like her. She was not afraid to die, but she wasn't afraid to live either. We can't forget." And with that, I bowed my head, the tears flowing freely now and walked back down the steps. Remus, Sirius, and James each said something and then the small man went back up again and said a few more words and then raised his wand.

From the tip of his wand burst a flowery, firework image of a small family, Mary's parents, herself and her brother. They were undefined but you could tell what they symbolized. They all joined hands and then there was a blast of light as they all changed colors and separated, going to their separate graves. Her father went first, speeding into the wooden box and with a bang and a flash of red light and a hiss, the coffin disappeared, sinking under the ground. His mother went next, her box changing blue first then disappearing. Little Alex went next, seeming to dance to his cripplingly tiny box. His turned a lovely emerald green before sinking down to join his parents. Mary's went last. Hers went by slowly and seemed to whisper and it passed me, making my hair spring around my face.

Her box turned a deep shade of purplish red before sinking down too, and then the man raised his wand again and grave stones rose in their place, flowers surrounding all of them. My tears were flowing freely now, and we walked over slowly to Mary's. The ground was wet from the rain as I bent down on my knees. I slowly traced her name with my fingers before lowering my head, succumbing to my tears. James arm went around my shoulders and Emma's hound found her way into mine which I gratefully held on to.

After a few more minutes, we got up and walked over to Alex's. I cried at his too, feeling so guilty that he could never experience the magic of Hogwarts, never get his first kiss, his first love. We stopped at her parents out of respect shortly, only meeting them once still made me feel sad at their deaths.

We stayed for a while longer, talking to her family members and then we all walked out together. Sirius was the first to speak.

"Does anyone fancy a drink from the Leaky Cauldron?" he said in a quiet, gruff voice and I realized he had cried, the first time I had witnessed it.

"That sounds perfect." Remus said and we all agreed to meet there, turning on the spot and popping up in a corner of outside of the store, to not draw attention to ourselves. Once we got inside Sirius went to go and order us butterbeer. None of us were in the mood for liquor. He came back and rejected our attempts to pay him back.

"To Mary." Sirius said, joining our table again and raising his mug. We all raised our glasses and echoed him and then took a sip or a gulp depending on who it was. It was quiet for a while as we each drank.

"So, two weddings coming up. Whose shall be first?" Remus said, probably trying to light up the conversation. I looked at Alice and smiled.

"Well, James proposed first, so I say Lily's wedding should probably go first." Alice said, looking at the two of us. I grabbed James hand under the table. Talking about weddings made everything so much more real and I didn't know how prepared I was for that. Of course I was excited, it just still hadn't sunk in yet, not with the recent events.

I smiled at her. "It really doesn't matter to me. I would love an August/September wedding though, so it's up to you." I nudged James. "With the leaves beginning to change, it'd be beautiful."

"You're right, but the weather really doesn't bother me. It's just you I care about." he said quietly making me smile.

"Well then, let's plan for yours to be sometime in September and Frank and I can have it sometime early November." Alice said, nodding to herself.

The rest of the day went by quickly. We sat there for about two hours, just talking about our plans and ideas. We left shortly after that after another round of many hugs.

When we got back, James and I went into the living room and sat on the couch in front of the fire. I tucked my legs underneath me and snuggled into his chest, finally feeling warm when he wrapped his arms around me.

"So, I have a topic I'd like to discuss with you." James said. I nodded against his chest to know I was listening. "It's about…kids." he paused as he heard my intake of breath. "I was just wondering if…you had thought about it at all, or even if you wanted any. You don't have to say anything, I know I kind of sprung that on you." he trailed off into silence waiting for my response. I pulled away from him so I could look up at him.

"I don't know. I definitely want kids. I'd love a girl, but if it was a boy I'd probably still spoil him like rotten." I said, staring into his eyes.

He looked back at me calmly. "How many would you say?"

"I'm not sure. More than one, being an only child would be awful, as I'm sure you know. Maybe two or three. What do you think?"

"Well, I definitely agree on more than one, I hated being an only child. I guess we'll see what happens when we get there huh?"

"I guess we shall." I said, and smiled up at him and he leaned down and kissed me gently at first, but then deepened the kiss, laying me down on the couch and leaning over me so that our bodies were pressed together but not all of his weight was pressed against me. I loved that I couldn't get enough of him, that I still wanted him, that I hadn't lost the attraction even though we were engaged.

We stayed like that for a while, just enjoying the time that we could save for each other, and that was when the head of Albus Dumbledore appeared in our fire.

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**A/N: YOU ARE SO WELCOME. 2 DAYS IN TWO DAYS. I KNOW THIS ONE IS SHORT BUT ITS BEEN A DAY! I HAD AN INSPIRATION AND JUST STARTED WRITING. so you're welcome (:**

**I'm not replying to reviews, since i barely got ANY...not that i'm complaining. but i'll respond next time. i hope you like this one!**

**Tibby09296**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does, and some of her awesomeness shows through in this chapter.**

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We broke apart when we heard a slight clearing of the throat and we both looked to the source of the sound, discovering his head in the flames."Oh, Professor, sir, uhm hello." I said, quietly pushing myself off James, trying to rearrange my self in a position that didn't look quite so…well yeah.

He smiled, amused. "Hello Lily, James. I think it's about time you can call me Albus in these present circumstances. I was wondering if you two might be able to come with me, we have an emergency meeting at Sirius'.

"Yes sir, that's fine." so with a furtive glance at me, James stood up and reached for my hand. Dipping a hand into the small pouch on top of the fireplace, he threw it in the flames making them green around Dumbledore and Dumbledore disappeared. I grabbed some for myself and we stepped in, throwing it to the ground. I closed my eyes and said Sirius' house and then I was spinning, spitting out the soot that filled my mouth. James hand was tugging against mine so I let him pull me into the door that was fast approaching.

We tumbled into the doorway and I managed to stay on my feet, clambering out of Sirius' fireplace. Most people had already taken their seats, an assortment of chairs, couches, and various furniture items of Sirius'. I smiled at most, nodded to a few and James and I walked over to where there was a free spot next to Dedalus Diggle who dropped his top hat in excitement as he rose to shake James' hand.

The room quieted quickly as Dumbledore strode to a small kitchen chair, pulled out his wand, enlarged it, and sat down. Dumbledore cleared his throat and the few people who were still talking stopped.

"I am sorry for all of the inconvenience and short notice of this meeting, but there has been urgent news." he looked at us all gravely before speaking in a slightly lower tone. "If any of you have noticed, we are missing a few people today. Lord Voldemort has taken three of us hostage, Remus Lupin, Benjy Fenwick, and Edgar Bones. They were working on a secret assignment and Voldemort got word of it. He had his Death Eaters take each of them separately. I believe I have word of where they are. We will be sending a rescue group consisting of five people. Are there any volunteers?"

I stared at him in shock. Remus, one of my best friends, was taken by Voldemort. James had my hand gripped in his so hard I could barely feel it. I had no idea how he was feeling. I felt like crying, but this was James' best friend since childhood. I looked up to his face and it was as hard as rocks, seemingly stone.

No hands had been raised when I slowly raised mine in the air. My voice crack when I spoke. "Albus, I-I'd like to go." Everyone's eyes had flitted to me when my hand raised. I didn't think it was possible, but James' hand tightened even more on mine.

"If Lily goes, so do I." he said, in a strained voice. From across the room Sirius raised his hand in the air.

"I'm in." he said, and I could tell that the twinkle in his eyes had gone out. His face was as hard as James.

Two other people raised their hands from across the room and I could see that it was Amelia Bones, who I knew was Edgar's sister, and Caradoc Dearborn, who I didn't know as well.

"Ok, you all will report to Sirius' house tomorrow morning at 9:00 and I will give you all the information I know. Thank you for volunteering. If any of you decide to back out, I will take you place." Dumbledore said, looking at the five of us. "This is not something to be looked lightly on. This is a life and death situation, no longer is the learning, this is the real thing, so I wouldn't take lightly on this topic and expect you to take this very seriously. Now you may all leave." With that he stood up, shrunk his chair back to it's regular size, turned, and disappeared.

Most people followed suit, packing up and disappearing. James and I stayed only to talk to Sirius for a moment, and then we grasped hands, turned on the spot, and apparated back home.

When we got back, James dropped my hand quickly and stalked off. Surprised, I followed him up the stairs until we were in his room. I tried reaching for his hand but he yanked it away, going over to sit on the bed and dropped his face in his hands.

"James, what's wrong?" When he didn't respond, I sat down next to him and tried to reach for him, but he pulled away. "James, talk to me."

He seemed to shudder for a second before standing up abruptly. "Don't you think that it would bother me that you volunteered for this! This is dangerous Lily! We're getting married. We're going to start a family! That's not going to happen if you're dead! Why would you volunteer today? You don't know what you have just done. This is serious! You could die and then what would I be!" he had never shouted at me before and it scared me. He sounded so mad I could barely hear the words he was saying, only that he was shouting.

"How could you say that? Remus is our friend! He deserves to be saved by someone who won't stop, no matter the consequences. We're the only ones who will save him no matter what, because we care! You can't be mad at me for that! This is my life!"

"That's why you need to stay home and let Dumbledore take your place. I won't let you risk your life for this. Remus would agree if he could!" he was still shouting at me. He had no _right _to say these things to me.

"Who are you to tell me that I can't go save my friend!"

"I'm you're fiancée!"

"You can't tell me how to run my own life!"

"Lily, you are my life!"

But I didn't care what he was saying, all I knew was that he was telling me that I was not allowed to go tomorrow, and I would not except that. I was going, no matter what he said. I set my shoulders back and looked him straight in the eye.

"I'm going, and you _can't _tell me otherwise." and with that I walked past him, shoving away his hand that tried to stop me. I walked straight into the bathroom and slammed the door behind me, turning on the shower as quickly as I could. The tears came without thought, streaming down my face as I threw off my clothes in a frenzy, hopping into the shower and sinking to the floor. Before I new it I was sobbing. I didn't even have the energy to turn the water off of steaming hot, and as it touched my skin, my skin turned a blotchy red, irritated by the temperature that was much too hot.

I don't know how long I cried, just long enough to cry for Remus, James, and the other two captured with Remus. I sat their for a long time, knees pulled up to my chest and head tucked into my knees. The water slowly turned from scalding to freezing, and yet I didn't move. The tears had stopped, just the occasional one drifting down my cheek. It wasn't until about ten minutes of freezing cold water that I realized I was cold, and then I was freezing. I slowly stood up and turned off the water, stepping out of the shower and reaching for the towel on the rack near the door. I wrapped it around me but it didn't help.

I pushed open the door and stepped into the room. I didn't expect James to be there, but it still hurt to see that he wasn't waiting for me. I grabbed one of his shirts and boxers, not even caring that I didn't ask. I walked out the bedroom door and down the stairs, pausing in my room to put my slippers on. I was still so cold, but I didn't stop, my hair creating a huge wet spot on his shirt. I continued down the stairs, stopping at the entrance to the living room, the fire casting shadows on the walls around me.

And he was there, sitting on the love seat, calmly staring into the flames. I walked closer to him, pausing slightly and the tears started again, and I was shaking because of the cold. When he opened his arms out to me, I didn't hesitate to go into them, walking towards him and tucking myself into his arms that wrapped around me, making me warm almost instantly. I tucked my wet head into his chest and he kissed the top of it.

"I'm sorry." he whispered into my ear.

"I'm sorry too." We stayed there for a long time, until my hair had dried and my tears had stopped.

"I should never had asked you to not go, that was unfair of me. Of course it's your choice." he said, still into my ear.

"I should have asked you first. But I have to go. You know that."

"Yes, I know."

We stayed there for a while longer, just staring into the flames until I began to nod off. He stood up and picked me up in his arms, bridal style, and carried me up the stairs. He carried me to his room and set me on the bed, tucking me in quickly. He went into the bathroom, presumably to brush his teeth or anything like that, and came back out again, quickly hopping into the other side. I curled up next to him, quickly tucking myself into him. We laid there for a while, but I knew he wasn't sleeping.

"What's going to happen tomorrow?" I finally whispered.

"I don't know. But I do know that both of us are getting out of there alive. And we're going to do our damn best to get everyone else out with us." he whispered.

"Do you promise?" He was silent for a moment, contemplating my question.

"I can't promise you that Lily." he paused. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok, I shouldn't have asked that. I know you can't promise that."

"Lily, we need to get some sleep." he whispered. I nodded and turned around, so my back was against his chest. "Goodnight, I love you."

"I love you too." I whispered, and I quickly fell asleep, thinking of Remus. It wasn't long until I was asleep. I don't know when my waking hours turned into dreaming but when they did, I had troubled dreams. There was a boy, a small boy with jet black hair, round glasses, and bright green eyes. He was probably around eleven and was with one other small child, a girl with brown bushy hair, and they were staring down at a tiny bottle.

"There's only enough there for one of us," the boy said. "That's hardly one swallow." And then they looked at each other. "Which one will get you back through the purple flames?" The girl pointed at a round bottle at the end of a line of bottles. "You drink that." he shushed her protests. "Get back, and get Ron. Grab brooms from the flying-key room, they'll get you out of the trapdoor and past Fluffy- go straight to the owlery and send Hedwig to Dumbledore, we need him. I might be able to hold Snape off for a while, but I'm no match for him, really."

"But Harry," the girl said swallowing, "what if You-Know-Who is with him?"

"Well, I was lucky once, wasn't I?" said Harry, pointing at a small lightning shape scar on his forehead. "I might get lucky again." The girl seemed to tremble, and flung herself into his arms. "_Hermione!_"

The words then got blurry, and the dream changed, flashing to a round room where the same boy was standing and across from him a man in a turban, facing a mirror. The man in the turban turned towards the boy and removed his turban, revealing another face. The scene seemed to fast forward until it was the other face staring at the boy, and it was speaking.

"Now…why don't you give me that Stone in your pocket?" the boy stumbled backward, appearing very frightened. "Don't be a fool! Better save your own life and join me…or you'll meet the same end as your parents… They died begging me for mercy…" he snarled.

"LIAR!" the boy shouted.

"How touching… I always valued bravery. Yes, boy, your parents were brave… I killed your father first, and he put up a courageous fight…but your mother needn't have died…she was trying to protect you…Now give me the Stone, unless you want her to have died in vain."

"NEVER!" the boy shouted. He raced to the door but the man was faster, springing at him. The boy raised his hand in defense and when they touched the man's skin, the man screamed, his skin blistering. As the man screamed in pain, his other face screamed for him to kill the boy, but it was too late, the man was destroyed. But the boy was falling, falling, to the ground and he didn't get up.

"NO!" I sat bolt upright in the bed, hands wringing the blankets, shaking like crazy. The tears started coming again and I knew that this was the same boy, the same baby that I had dreamed about the first time, before the ball.

"Lily? Whazzgoinun?" James said, sitting up, reaching for his glasses on the bedside table.

"James, I had the worst dream. It was horrible." but I couldn't keep talking and I wrapped my arms around my knees. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me towards him and I fell against him. "What's happening to me? Why is this happening?"

"I don't know love, but you'll be ok, that I can promise you." he whispered kissing the top of my head. We stayed there for a while until I controlled myself and couldn't keep my eyes open any longer. We laid down together, getting more comfortable and soon I was asleep, forgetting all about the boy with the lightning shaped scar.

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**A/N: I'M SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG. it's just been really difficult in school lately and i usually have so much homework i don't get anything done. But if someone can guess who Benjy Fenwick is, i promise i'll have the next chapter up by next week. I hope you enjoyed it! i'm sorry its so short, but the next one is going to be so action packed i had to seperate them. Please review! Thanks!**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is amazing, and i am not.**

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We woke up early, taking turns in the shower quickly before drying off and dressing appropriately, tight black pants with running shoes, black shirt that was tight-fitting but not to conspicuous. I tucked my wand in my back pocket, absent-mindedly running my hands through my hair, waiting for James. He came down a moment later, brushing down his hair that had already sprung up around his head. As he walked down to me I waited until he was standing directly in front of me, before pushing my own hands in his hair, messing it up. I leaned up to him.

"I like it better messier." I whispered into his hair and he shivered. He leaned down and kissed my neck, making me shiver in response.

"If anything happens.." he started but I cut him off.

"Don't say that. Nothing's going to happen. We're making it out of here, together, and alive." I said, needing the reassurance more than him.

"You're right, I'm sorry." he said back to me. I nodded into his chest. We stayed like that for a while before knowing we needed to leave. We separated but kept our hands together, turning on the spot, facing the suffocation, and then reappearing back in Sirius' living room. Sirius was there, obviously, along with Amelia, Caradoc, and Dumbledore.

"Ah, now that we are all here, I would like to get started. I know that the death Eaters have taken Remus, Edgar, and Benjy captive in a remote location just outside of Britain. I will apparate you all there, and trust you will find your way back here by nightfall. I have an enormous amount of trust in you all. I hope everything goes well." and with that, he waved his wand and I was in the huge suction tube again, suffocating when I could finally breath again.

I was standing outside of a huge building that had a condemned sign on the cover. I looked around and saw that all four of my companions had come with me. The building we were standing next to looked horrible, filled with broken windows and the ground was littered with rusty bottles. It didn't make matters much better than that a huge thunder storm was raging around us.

"Ok, we'll have to split up of course, to start off with, until we find a way inside. When you find a way in, shoot a lightning bolt in the air, and it will remain a tad bit longer than the rest, and a tad bit bluer to assure you we have found an entrance. Amelia, Lily, and James go together. I will go with Sirius." Caradoc said, looking at all of us intently. "Good luck." and without a backwards glance, he walked purposely forward, Sirius at his side until they disappeared into the fog.

"Let's go." Amelia said, and strode the opposite way. This part was slightly uneventful. We searched the piles of debris, occasionally looking up believing that the lightning strikes were getting longer, but realizing that they weren't. But then one strike stood out from the rest, it hovered just to the left of the building, parallel to where we were, and it stood still for about five seconds, a deep blue, and then flashed once, then disappeared.

"That's it." Amelia said, and we followed her until we could see two figures in the distance. When we got close enough to make out the outlines of the figures, we realized that it was not Sirius and Caradoc, it was two death eaters, and I recognized them. We skidded to a stop and I looked at the two men up ahead. After searching for about three seconds, I realized that the huge lumps at their feet were Sirius and Caradoc, bound and tied up. I tried to stop a scream in my throat, and choked back a sob. The men I recognized were Travers and Rookwood, two people that had graduated a few years back. They were talking in quick, quiet voices.

"We'll have to get them inside and put them with the others. He won't be happy that they found our lair so quickly, you know how he hates relocating." said Travers, looking down at Sirius and Caradoc.

"How did they even find the entrance? It's so well hidden even I have trouble finding it most days." Rookwood said, his reedy voice traveling making it easier to hear.

"I'm not sure. It's identical to the wall, so one of them must be very talented at Charms to see through that." Travers responded.

"Well, it does no good dawdling out here. He'll find out eventually. Let's go." Rookwood said, he hoisted up Sirius, who had a large cut over his left eye, and Travers grabbed Caradoc who seemed to have a bruise covering most of his face. They dragged the bodies backward into the wall, where they disappeared.

"Of course, it's just the wall itself." Amelia said. She seemed calm, and seeing the look on my face sighed. "Lily, we wanted them to get caught, or we would have never found the entrance. They did it on purpose. Caradoc's too skilled of a wizard to actually get caught on accident. It was just to find the entrance."

"Don't you think you should have told me that? Before I start freaking out!" I said, my voice squeaking slightly on the last word.

"Love, we had to. Now come on, we have to keep going." James said, squeezing my hand slightly before letting go. I nodded and we followed Amelia to the outer rim of the wall before bracing ourselves, and we walked straight through. It was a very odd sensation, and I'm sure it looked comical. I put my hand in first and watched it disappear through and then I walked the rest of the way and felt a sort of odd bubbling sensation in my stomach before reaching the other side. We were in a dimly lit hallway that seemed to go on for miles in a steady decline. The lanterns hanging from the wall were casting shadows that seemed to encircle us as we continued down the path. We kept walking, Amelia seemed to be following an unseen trail, so I kept to myself, slowly going over tactics in my head, repeating spells, and thinking of how we were to get out of this alive.

We passed many doorways, some open and some closed. Most of them were eerily silent, but we passed a couple where I could hear mutterings coming from the closed doors, and once we even heard screaming but Amelia just ushered us forward without a backward glance. I didn't know what she was following, but it must have been very distinctive to her, because I couldn't see anything except the small beams of light the lanterns caused. After about ten minutes of walking, we came to a stop in front of a simple wooden door.

"Stop." she whispered. "Here is where things get tricky. We have no plans past this. I followed Caradoc's trail, but that does not mean Remus, Benjy and Edgar are here. Your main goal is to get the three men out. Mine is to recover Sirius and Caradoc. Meet at the door. You have exactly one hour, if you are not there, we will leave and re-meet at Sirius', with or without you. You are expected to do the same. Understood?"

When we both nodded, she gave us a curt nod and opened the door walking inside. We followed her in and I looked around us. We were in a huge chamber that appeared to be empty except for a huge cage. On closer look there were human figures in the cage. Following James lead, I rushed over to the cage and Amelia disappeared through another door at the edge of the hall.

"James?" a voice asked and we both turned to see Remus, just wearing a pair of pants, covered in dirt, chained to the ground by his ankles, and chained to his hands were thick cords leading to two other people. I could just make out outlines and could tell that the first was Edgar Bones, and the other was a young girl, probably around fifteen.

"Where's Benjy?" I whispered, leaning in towards Remus. He sighed and motioned to the girl who I could tell was silently crying. She lifted up her right hand to show a limp chain, and connected to that chain was a hand, a human hand and that was it. The growing horror swept over me and I looked to the wall behind them, where a huge splotch of red swathed the wall and floor. There were literal chunks seemingly everywhere and I wanted to vomit, but knew I could not. "W-what happened?"

"He tried to get the little girl out and fought them, he was blasted instantly by Bellatrix." Remus said. "But there's no time for that no. You have to listen to me, these chains are enchanted. They will burn us if you try to blast them or anything. Morgan's hand almost burned off when the blasted Benjy. You have to be careful on what you are going to do. Be careful, Edgar is still passed out."

"Ok, I have a plan. Did you see Sirius anywhere?" James asked Remus who shook his head dejectedly.

"No, it's only us. They, they blasted Morgan's family before we got here. She's just a muggle, doesn't understand a word of what we're saying about magic and is scared. I don't know what to do. I'm so glad you came." Remus replied. James nodded and then turned to me.

"Ok, so if the chains burn whenever they're touched, what if one of us heating the metal, making it expand, at the same time one of us is freezing the persons skin? It will be painful, but it should prevent them from burning." James said to me.

"No, that should work. We just need to make sure we don't freeze the metal, because that will make it contract." I said. I turned toward Remus.

"Remus, you first. You heard James' plan. This will hurt, you will feel your hand literally freeze, but that's the least of your problems. You need to make sure the moment the chain is big enough to slip it off. Here's my scarf. Use it to bite down on." I passed him my scarf through the cage, which was luckily large enough to fit my hand into. Remus nodded and shoved the scarf into his mouth. He nodded to us that he was ready. I raised my wand.

"Anapeo!" I whispered at Remus' hand and at once it started turning blue, Remus bit down on the towel hard, trying to muffle his shouting.

"Incendio!" James' whispered and the metal cuff around Remus' wrist glowed bright red. We stayed like this for around three minutes while Remus shouted in pain as he tried to slide the cuff off. After about one more minute, he managed to slip the cuff past his wrist and it slid to the ground with a clang. I stopped my spell at once and so did James. Remus slumped to the ground clutching his hand. I immediately conjured small flames and floated them over to Remus who weakly clutched them up in his hand, warming it up again.

"I'm so sorry." I whispered and reached for him. He grabbed my hand weakly in his and held on. It was as cold as ice.

"Let's do Edgar now. He has two chains so it will be worse." James said. "Stupefy!" he whispered at Edgar, who slumped into even more unconsciousness.

"What was that for!" I whispered at him.

"So he won't scream." James said. I nodded and we started the spell on his right hand first. After a few moments Remus managed to slip it off, his hand covered by my scarf. It clanged to the ground also. We repeated the procedure with the next one and James pointed at Edgar, taking off the spell. He awoke with a shout, quickly muffled by Remus pinning him to the ground, bring Morgan down on top of them. She was still crying. She seemed to understand not to make noise, but I could tell she didn't want to be next, even if she didn't know what it was we were doing.

"Morgan right?" I whispered to her and she nodded. "My names Lily. We're going to get you out of here safe alright?" she nodded again. "But you have to do something for me. When you feel this chain getting big enough to fall, drop it as fast as you can. This will hurt, but you can't scream okay? You cant." She nodded again and I could see the fear flood her eyes. "Let's go James." I whispered and slowly raised my wand. I pointed it at the girl and recited the spell, her hand immediately turning blue and she bit down on my scarf hard, tears pouring down her face, head back toward the ceiling. Her scream was muffled but filled with pain. James quickly did his spell and the band started expanding. Thankfully, she had very skinny wrists and we got both off quite quickly. She sat down afterwards, sobbing into my scarf.

"Now how do we get them out of the cage?" I asked James, almost forgetting to whisper.

"Well isn't that a lovely question." replied a chilling voice. I turned around to see, right in front of me in a black robe, eyes slightly tilted like a snake with a hint of scarlet, a man, a man who I had only met once before. "Please, continue. It's very interesting to watch you try to escape my traps. Most people have not lasted this far. Of course, most don't get the courtesy I'm giving you, but the pair of you, I have to admit, intrigue me."

"Let them go." I said fiercely, mustering all the courage I had into my voice.

"Certainly." he said in a chillingly cool voice. With a snap of his fingers the cage disappeared.

"Thank you?" I said questionably.

"Oh Ms. Evans, don't you understand? I only needed them here so I could reach you, not that I'm not interested in Mr. Lupin over there, but we do not except half-breeds into our 'business'. But anyway, I am interested in the pair of you. Engaged I see, how lovely, just lovely. But you see, I do not believe in love, Dumbledore's greatest weapon. Alas, you do. But you see, I am very interested in the pair of you, so I'm asking, yet again, for you to join me."

"And once again, I'll join you when hell freezes over." James said.

Voldemort smiled. "You will regret that." He pointed his wand at Morgan.

"Crucio." She started to scream, falling to the floor, grabbing at the ground, screaming and screaming and screaming.

"Stop!" I shouted at him and he looked to me with a smile and Morgan fell limp. "She's just a child." I said to him.

"Ah miss Evans, don't you understand? She is a Muggle, and Muggles do not deserve to live. They are nothing."

I fought back the urge to immaturely shoot back "your face is nothing". And that was when I thought of it. I tapped the back of James hand twice and knew that he would figure it out as I went along.

"So what if I joined you? What then? Why do you want us so bad?" I could see James slowly backing up and getting Morgan off her feet. He roused the others together.

"Oh now Miss Evans, don't be selfish, I can obviously continue my plans without you, it's just you two, Dumbledore's golden ones, that would certainly complete my plans." he said and seemingly enjoying the moment, leaned back and closed his eyes, sighing in content. I motioned with my hands for Morgan and the rest to go, and they slowly backed away, towards the door that we had walked into.

"But what is this brilliant plan of yours? What is it you want to accomplish?" I said, trying to give them enough time.

"Don't you see Miss Evans? My goal is not so different from Dumbledore's. I want to unite the Magical Community as one, to make us rise over the rest and embrace our real power. It does not necessarily mean killing innocent people, but people that oppose me have to die."

"So you want us to unite over the Muggles. Why is that so?"

"Oh you must see this. Imagine a world where wizards are on top. Where we no longer have to hide. Where we will be the leaders, the famous, the successful."

"So basically, there's just a little kid inside of you just dying to be an actor huh? Because what you don't get is that "uniting" over the Muggles isn't going to do any good. Killing innocent people isn't going to do any good. Because there will always be someone to fight, always someone who opposes you, always someone to die. So you need to calm down with your takeover plans, because eventually someone will get the chance to strike you, and you'll be the dead one."

"Oh Miss Evans, I plan on living for quite a long time." I noticed as he said this that he absentmindedly traced a circle on his hand, like a ring had once been in its place.

"No one can live forever."

"That is where you are wrong. I have every plan of living forever." I didn't have any plausible thing to say after this statement, it was so confusing. "Now, I think it is time to stop this meager escape route you have planned. Bella." I raised my eyebrows confused.

"Whose Bella?" I asked.

"That would be me." a voice snarled behind me and I turned in time to see a witch raise her wand. "Sna-" but her spell was cut off by another voice coming from a doorway.

"Levicorpus!" She was swung up into the air by her ankles, before being dropped back down on her head, which slammed into the concrete, then back up again, three times, before dropping back down. "Hello cousin, how have you been?"

"Sirius!" James shouted from the other doorway before that too was blasted off by it's hinges, members of Voldemort's party running in, brandishing their wands.

"RUN!" I looked towards the voice and it was Amelia, racing through the door with Sirius and Caradoc at her side. I backed away, looked at Voldemort once more, and ran like hell, straight for James. I dodged battling lights. Amelia, dueling three wizards, Caradoc two, Sirius and Bellatrix locked into a frenzied duel, before running into some trouble myself. Travers and Rudolph blocked my path.

"Where do you think you're going missy?" Travers said, and lunged for me, but I sprung out my wand and shot a curse at him, which he narrowly missed. I prepared myself for a duel with the two. They fired curses at me every second and I barely had time to think let alone fight back. I could only imagine how Amelia was dueling three. I shot curses at them and deflected the ones they threw at me. I could feel many hit me though, cutting me above my left eye, which slowly drifted into my eye, blocking my vision. I had a bad cut on my left side, and an even worse one right underneath my chest. I felt like bruises were covering my whole body, but I finally managed to stun Travers and just fight Rudolph, who went down quickly when a stunning spell fired from a passerby hit him. I only had time to think of my friends before grabbing both of their wands and race back toward the door, towards James.

He was fighting only one wizard, but I could tell he was very powerful, not removing the mask. I could see black hair sticking out from underneath though and pale skin underneath that. "Stupefy!" I yelled. And he fell to the ground. James looked up to see who had helped him and smiled when he saw it was me. But the smile did not last long. He looked down and I saw a blood stain slowly spread at the top of his left thigh. He looked back up at me before grimacing in pain. I sprinted towards him as fast as I could and finally reached him. We raced out the door together, where Remus, Edgar, and Morgan were pacing back and forth, staring at the door as if expecting us.

"We don't have wands, or we'd have dissaparated." I tossed him one of the wands I had collected and Edgar the other. They nodded in thanks.

"Can we dissaparate with a Muggle?" I asked, looking at Morgan.

"Let's hope so." James said. We all grabbed hands, Morgan clutching mine tightly and spun on the spot. I spun easily, but it took a second for Morgan to get off the ground and when she did, she seemed unable to stop spinning, making it almost impossible to picture my destination. Once we did however, I stumbled to the ground, laying on Sirius' floor. I started coughing and was horrified to see blood appear on the floor. We all laid there for a few minutes, collected ourselves together when Morgan started screaming. We looked to where she was looking at and saw two figures. Sirius stood, brushing off a stunned death eater at his feet. With a dog like grin he said, "Miss me?"

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**A/N: i'm sorry it took longer than i promised, but i made it extra long for you guys! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW. it's what keeps me going. you guys are the best. i'll give you a shoutout if you you who that one death eater fighting James was. please review!**

**Tibby09296**


	22. Chapter 22 Part 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own HP.**

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We got rid of the stunned death eater easily, just erasing his memory and then making him smaller, shipped him to Dumbledore, and that was that. The girl was another problem. Her parents had died, and no one really knew what to do with her, but Dumbledore said erasing her memory wouldn't do much good, she would still be traumatized and have no idea why, so he decided to take her to Hogwarts to be Madame Pomfrey's assistant. She didn't much like the idea of leaving us, the people she had just grown to know, but she left anyway. That took about five minutes. James and I apparated back to our house quickly, concerned about our injuries. I knew that my eye was still filled with blood from the cut on my forehead, not to mention right under my chest there was a growing bruise that hurt to breath, but I just felt sore all helped clean up the bruise on my forehead, washing it off with a rag the muggle way before putting dittany on it to heal it, and then reciting a spell that would leave no scar. After that I took off my shirt so he could help with my cut on my left rib, which was turning out to be more of a bruise. He did what he could, which wasn't much but was still helpful.

"How's your leg?" I asked him, remembering how he had grimaced.

"What? Oh, that was just a paper cut sort of thing, I'm perfectly fine." he said, seeming to be distracted slightly.

"You sure?" I asked.

"Yes, I'm fine." he responded. "Now let's go get cleaned up. You can shower first." He scooped me up gently, ignoring my protests and carried me up the stairs.

"We could just shower together, save time." I said slyly, eyes downcast so he wouldn't see my face.

"That probably wouldn't be a good idea." he said and trailed off. "I'm already a little out of it and wouldn't want to do anything out of hand."

"Yes, I suppose you're right." I said and sighed.

He laughed lightly. "It'll happen, I promise. Just wait til we're married love."

"I suppose you're right." I repeated. "I just hope everyone's all right. I can't help but think we failed. I mean, Benjy blown to bits. And who knows if Caradoc and Amelia made it out alive. I just-"

But he cut me off with a quick kiss. "Don't think those things now okay? We just need to keep looking forward. Look on the positive side, we're alive, and so is Remus and Sirius. We're healthy and safe. I know that's selfish, but I don't know what I would do if you had been hurt, hurt more I should say, so I call it a successful mission."

"Thank you James." I said and he looked at me, slightly confused.

"For what?"

"For loving me, all of me."

"You're welcome." he whispered and lowered his lips to mine. They had just brushed against mine when I fell to the ground.

I sat up, slightly annoyed to shove James. "Did you seriously drop me!" But what I saw almost made me fall again.

James was lying in a crumpled heap, seizing. He was shaking uncontrollably, his glasses had fallen off, making his eyes crazed and spinning, and his leg was moving in almost impossible directions.

"James!" I shouted and rushed over to him. There was a slowly creeping puddle of blood seeping from his pant leg that I slid into when I sat on my knees next to him. "James, James, please be ok, you have to be ok." I kept murmuring words to him, trying to keep myself calm. "Help, help, I need help." I pulled out my wand.

"Diffindo!" His pants split open, right at his hip and I pulled off the leg of the jeans he was wearing. I almost fainted at the sight. He had a jagged hole at the very top, inside of his thigh. The edges were frayed and pink, blood seeping from the wound. Congealed blood had dried in his leg hair, making his leg look like raw meat.

I choked down a sob and raised my wand. "Accio dittany!" From the closet near the stairs a tiny bottle came flying towards me and I got it. It took me a second to uncork the glass, and I leaned over his leg, carefully trying not to hurt him even more. He had grown still, no longer seizing, which scared me even more. From the dittany I allowed three small drops into the wound, which immediately began to smoke. Blood poured out of it even more but once to smoke began to clear I saw that his hole was a small scar now.

"James, james, wake up." I pleaded, crawling up to where his head was. I put his head in my lap, frightened that he wasn't moving and his eyes were closed. By this time there wasn't a part of me that wasn't covered in blood. I grabbed my wand once more.

"Accio mirror." I whispered, and from James' room came a simple mirror.

_Flashback_

"_Here." James said. I looked up from my book to see him leaning over me. I patted the seat next to me on the couch and he took it, wrapping his arms around me. _

"_Here what?" I asked. He handed me a small mirror with silver edgings. "It's beautiful, but you know I have the full ba-"_

"_It's not for beauty. Just in case anything ever happens to me, get this from my room. Look into it and say Sirius. He has the twin mirror. You can contact him and he'll be able to help."_

"_James I do-"_

"_Just know that its here. Okay?" I agreed and he leaned down, placing his lips on my neck. And the mirror was soon forgotten._

_End Flashback_

"S-Sirius." I said, looking straight into the mirror. It started vibrating in my hands and then Sirius appeared, or at least his head.

"Lily Flower! What a surprise. I'm glad you mirrored, I was beginning to get wo-"

"Sirius, you have to come over, quickly. James is hurt! He's not waking up and I'm frightened. Please, help me." I said, sobbing freely now.

"I'll be right there." It was strange to see how quickly Sirius could lose the spark in his eyes whenever he got upset. He vanished from view and I jumped when I heard a pop behind me.

"Lily! Are you all right? You're covered in blood!"

"It's not mine," I said, sobbing. "It's J-james."

Sirius paled and walked over to where James was laying. His blood was soaking the carpet still, but the bleeding had finally stopped. He took out his wand and muttered a spell, cursed, and then muttered another. He stood over James for ten minutes, flourishing his wand and muttering, his curses getting louder and louder after each spell.

"I-I don't know what to do. All of those should have woken him up. H-he isn't moving." Sirius said, turning towards me.

Seeing the panic and fear in his eyes, I immediately burst into tears.

"No! NO! He has to be alright! Please, oh Merlin, please." I rushed at James but Sirius grabbed my hand.

"Lily, there's nothing you can do." he looked into my eyes and I could see he truly believed that. I sank to the ground. "I'm going to contact the healers. I'll be right back." He left the room. I sat their, rocking back and forth. I was still there staring at James, when he disappeared.

"SIRIUS!" I screamed, hysterical. He came running into the room and looked to me and then the ground.

"It's the healers, they're transporting him to the hospital. It's alright."

"IT'S NOT ALRIGHT. James c-can't, he c-can't be d-de" but I couldn't continue. I burst into another round of tears and sank into my knees, closing my eyes.

Strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me to a chest. It wasn't the arms I wanted, but I couldn't face this alone. I turned my face into Sirius' chest and sobbed. His arms came around me completely and I buried myself into him. He smelled good, and I was shocked into realizing I would notice something like that. His chest was harder than James, and was slightly wider, making me swallowed up into his arms. He held me for a long time. He held me when the tears turned into hysterics, when I was so numb I couldn't breath, and finally when the crying stopped, he held me too.

"Please, just take me to bed." I whispered.

"Ok." he gently lifted me up, bridal style, with my head still in his chest, and carried me to James' room. He tenderly set me on the bed. "Pajamas?"

"James." I whispered, and he seemed to understand. Grabbing a pair of James' t-shirts and boxers he came over to me.

"Uhm, do you-"

"Just do it." I said. He carefully took off my clothes and put on James', never revealing an inch of skin. He tucked me in to the bed softly, resting my head on his pillow.

"Will you be ok here?" he whispered.

"Sirius, please, stay." I whispered back. I couldn't bear being alone. For I knew that if I was alone, I might never be fully present ever again, could not let myself think of the possibilities of being alone. Never alone.

Sirius crawled into bed with me, changing into a pair of James' running shorts. He sat up for a moment and leaned over me. "It'll be ok Lily. I promise." he kissed my forehead and then laid back down in the bed besides me. I somehow managed to fall asleep, thankful for the breathing next to me.

Sometime in the night, my hand had found his because when I awoke, they were still intertwined.

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**A/N: I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY. i have been an awful author. you should be able to boil me alive for what i've done, but i couldn't help it. My life has been so hectic that i have completely forgotten about writing until like two minutes ago. I thought this was a good ender though, so this chapter is split into two parts. I've just been so busy, that i apologize. I know you don't care, but i'm going to tell you the five top things that have been keeping me from writing.**

**1. SWIMMING- im on my high school swim team, we have practice over break five and a half hours a day**

**2. FAMILY**

**3. BREAKING THREE TOES YESTERDAY**

**4. SCHOOL**

**5. SLEEP-or lack there of.**

**mmkay, that is all. i PROMISE i'll update faster. enjoy!**


	23. Chapter 22 Part 2

**Disclaimer: i don't own harry potter, but i wish.**

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I jumped slightly, my hand sliding out of his, slick with sweat when the Healer walked in. I couldn't believe they weren't tired of me yet, i was here so often. They all gave me the same look, the pity one. _Poor girl, her fiancee isn't going to wake up anytime soon. _The bad thing was i was starting to believe them. It had been four long, gruesome weeks since his accident. I grasped my hand in his, squeezing it, just wishing he would squeeze back.

Sirius had basically moved in with me after that first night. The one night he hadn't been there I had woken up screaming. He wasn't what I wanted, just what I needed. I had to trick my mind into believing that the space next to me was going to be inhabited again, and by the right person.

He was slowly becoming my best friend. We leaned on each other for support. Who else could help? The best friend and fiancée. We didn't talk much at home. I cooked, he attempted to clean. He visited James at the hospital with me once, but said he couldn't bear to do it again and hadn't returned. But I was here every day, I had to be.

I looked up when the healer spoke. "His vitals look fine," she paused, looking down at her chart. "There's just no change."

"Then why isn't he waking up?" my voice cracked, stiff from disuse.

"Sweetie, I'm guessing he's blocking himself from waking up. Something inside his head is forcing him to stay quiet. When he's ready, he'll wake up."

"But, why?"

"It happens to a lot of wizards when something that traumatic happens. The magic rushes to the only safe place, the head, and shuts down the body. Its actually a fascinating topic. To wake up, the body has to want it, more than anything else. But he can hear you. He can most definitely hear you."

I nodded, and getting the hint, she left me to be alone with James. I sat there for a while, drifting in and out of sleep when my bladder decided it was time to get up. I let go of his hand, letting it fall to the bed, and stood up. My back cracked and I stretched my hands over my head. I exited the room, following the path to the bathroom. For a healing facility you think the bathrooms would be nicer. I did my business and washed my hands.

When I returned to his room there was no change. I re-grasped his hand, laid my head down and sank into fitful P.O.V.

I could feel a hand grasp mine again and my mind eased slightly. I hated when the had, it was the worst feeling. I couldn't actually feel the hand, or know who it belonged to, but my mind knew it was in mine.

My whole body was up here. It might have been comical if it wasn't so scary. A little man trapped behind bars while his body ruled on in its place. But it wasn't quite like that. As I had been continuously trapped here it was more like I knew that my whole being was just in my mind, paralyzing my body. But I had no idea _why. _I wanted to get out. With all my will I wanted to, but something was keeping me here, and I knew what it was. Up here, I was with my parents. Now I know that sounds crazy, but I was pretty sure I had gone crazy stuck here in my head. But being alone in my head, I was with every single memory. Every thought, touch, sound, taste was here and I could replay any single thing with one thought. I had already gone through most of my childhood. Small memories that I hadn't thought of in so long but were so important now that my family was gone. Back when I had first been stuck here, it seemed like an eternity ago, the memories had scared me and I had shied away from them, but now I embraced them. The first memory had been the best.

"_Mum! Mum! Mum! Dad! Dad! Dad! Wake up! I get to go to Hogwarts! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!" two shapes, under the covers started mumbling and grumbling as they slowly sat up. I sat on their laps, small eleven year old me. "Get up! We need to go to King's Cross!"_

"_James, we still have three hours before we need to get there sweetheart." My mum said, looking up at me. My dad grabbed his glasses from the nightstand. _

"_Do you want to make pancakes with me?" he said, cleaning off his glasses._

_I gasped., so excited by this fact. "Yes! With chocolate chips?"_

"_Is there any other way?" mum said, giggling._

_We got up together, each one grabbing each of my hands, and I pretended to be annoyed by the fact that they both were grasping my hands, when I was ultimately very happy. We went into the kitchen and made pancakes the muggle way, taking our time._

_When we got to King's Cross I was so excited I could burst. _

"_Be good son. We're proud of you." dad said, and gave me a hug._

"_I'm going to miss you so much. Be brave." mum said and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "I love you."_

"_I love you too!" and then I was racing to the train, so excited, when I turned back at the last moment, to see my dad with his arms around my mum. They looked so _happy. _and at that moment, so was I._

When I was thrown out of the memory, I was so confused, believing I was still eleven, and bursting with excitement ready to go to Hogwarts. I knew magic was going on, somehow. No way I could remember memories before I was seven, and yet I could here. I could remember everything. But something was missing. I was so depressed. I was with my parents yes, but there was something missing and I had no idea what. I knew my mind knew where or what it was, but it was blocking me from it, not letting me see the memories of it.

But I was going to see the memories today, I was determined. I had spent too long trapped here, and I wanted to see what was so important to me that I couldn't wake up. I thought of the wall and there it was in front of me, a huge brick wall staring back at me. I slammed my mind against it, trying to break it and shuddered.

I gathered all my magic and energy and with all my force slammed against it. It was the one that shuddered this time. But then two memories were in front of me. My mum and dad.

"James, don't you want to stay here with us?" mum said, her eyes teary.

"Yes James, stay with your parents. If you see what's beyond that wall, you won't ever get to talk to us again, not like this." my dad said, putting his arm around my mum.

"Mum, dad, you have been the best parents ever, but I have to know. I have to." I said, getting tears in my eyes too.

With that sentence they nodded and grasped hands, their bodies swaying back and forth, and then a bright light emitted from them and the wall. They walked forward together, into the wall and it burst forward in a brilliant golden light. And all of a sudden I was back to the Hogwarts Express.

_A small boy with greasy hair sat opposite a girl with bright red hair and brilliant green eyes. He looked at the girl and said, "You better be in Slytherin." I couldn't help but say something at this point._

"_Slytherin?" I asked, and the girl looked at me, her eyes meeting mine. "Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?" I turned to look at the boy opposite me, Sirius was his name. We had just met, but he seemed cool._

"_My whole family has been in Slytherin." he said depressed. I was shocked._

"_Blimey! And I thought you seemed alright."_

_Sirius grinned. "Maybe I'll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?"_

_I smiled and lifted an invisible sword in the air. "Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart, like my dad."_

_The greasy boy made a snorting noise and I turned to him, trying to impress the red headed girl. "Got a problem with that?" _

"_No." he said, his sneer getting larger. "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy…"_

"_Where're you hoping to go? Seeing as you're neither." interjected Sirius._

_I burst out laughing when the girl sat up and looked at Sirius and then I in dislike._

"_Come on Severus, let's find another compartment."_

"_Ooooooooo…" Sirius and I imitated her voice, but secretly I was admiring her brilliant eyes and the way she seemed to dance as she walked. They got up and walked passed us, I tried to trip Severus as he passed._

"_See ya, Snivellus!" said Sirius and the compartment door slammed…_

_And the scene dissolved…We were older, around thirteen._

"_Will you go out with me!" I asked Lily, that had been her name, as she sat down next to me in the first class of the day._

"_No I will not! You're a bullying toe rag James Potter."_

_And the scene dissolved once more._

"_I need your help." lily said, looking up at me. We were alone in the corridor, her facing me. _

"_What do you need?" I asked her. I would do anything for her, she didn't know it of course, but I would. She seemed nervous though, very nervous._

"_I need you to kiss me." she said, she continued, rambling on about her boyfriend and being inexperienced but I had stopped listening after that first sentence. Lily Evans, going to kiss me? The one thing I had been yearning for since I had met her on the train that first day. _

_I responded, trying to sound like it wasn't a huge deal, trying to stay cool, calm, and collected. She explained her case some more, but I knew she was going to talk herself out of it, so I did the one thing I knew she never would. I leaned closer to her, cupping her face with my hands, and her eyes closed. I lean closer, caressing her face now._

"_Are you sure?" I could care less if this ruined our friendship, maybe this would be a good thing. She nods, and I lean in slightly more, our lips almost touching, pause, making sure she wouldn't pull away, and when she doesn't, I lean in, my lips touching hers, and it's like nothing I could have ever imagined. _

_She moves her lips against mine, mimicking my movements and I know it's almost done so I do something reckless, sliding my tongue along her bottom lip slightly, making her shudder. And then I step back. _

"_Uhm, so how was that?" she seems so nervous, like Lily Evans could ever disappoint me. She's not looking at me so I stare down at her, waiting until she looks at me. When she does, I whisper to her. "You'll be fine when Michael tries to kiss you." _

_And then she's asking to do it again. Again! This is a dream come true. She says uhm about twenty times in the sentence and I can't help but smirk._

"_You say uhm a lot." So cutely though. She draws her eyebrows at this, and I can see fiery little Evans is going to come up, so I cut her off crushing my lips to hers, and she falls silent, this time though, with a hunger so intense it almost hurts. It was the best kiss I had ever experienced, and I pulled on her bottom lip gently, trying to get her to open her mouth, and when she did, our tongues met, doing a slight frenzied dance. She was a natural, and I moaned against her mouth, wrapping my arms around her waist, and she pushes her hands through my hair. I'm trailing designs up and down her arms and she moans. This is brilliant. Amazing, but all too soon she pulls away, and it's over._

_The scene dissolves._

"_Lily Evans, I will love you unconditionally, every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"_

"_Yes, I will." and my life was complete._

I was thrown from these memories with a force. How could I forget Lily ever? Why would my mind block her from me? She was mine, and I was hers. I had to get out, had to get to her. With all my will and force I shoved my magic against the walls of my mind, trying to escape. And then I was falling, falling, falling. My eyelids moved. My real eyelids! They fluttered open, trying to block the light.

"L-lily?" I whispered. So it was her hand, of course it was her hand. It was always her. Will always be her.

"James?"

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**A/N: I know it's weird, but i wanted to show the struggle with James to get out of his coma. This is how i picture what happened to Arianna, all her magic rushing to her head, killing her, because she wasn't strong enough to contain it. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! Reviews are always welcome, and thanks for the lovely reviews of the last chapter. SHOUTOUTS:**

**DarlingILoveYou: You cried! Thats so sweet**

**Loslote and Jade2nightwing: You two have been long time reviewers, thank you so much.**

**krush23:thanks for reading! I'm glad you liked it.**

**13Fiction: I know! Gasp.**

**MxLover5: i updated, just for you.**

**Kiley 1 09: Of course not! This is a James and Lily Fic. I'm saving Sirius all for myself...**


	24. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I'm homeless when it comes to Harry Potter.**

"James?" I whispered, incredulous. "Oh my.." I trailed off hesitantly. "Healer! Healer! He's waking up. Please hurry!" I shouted and three healers immediately were in the room beside me. They scooted me away and I got caught up in the flurry of activities around me.

"Lily, please Lily!" he shouted from the bed and I rushed over, hearing his voice. I pushed my way through two healers and grabbed his hands.

"James." I said, smiling, and tears streamed down my face, falling into my hair. "You're ok." I whispered.

"No, but I will be." he said, and closed his eyes, leaning his head back into the pillow. I gripped his hand tighter. "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." he murmured.

(Two Weeks Later)

"Ah, it feels good to be home." James said, grabbing the last of the boxes behind me and shutting the trunk of the rental car. The healers refused to let him apparate so we were forced to drive, luckily I knew how.

"You have no idea. It's been…well…hell with you gone." I said, and grimaced at him. He slung an arm casually around my shoulder and kissed the top of my head and I smiled at the simplicity of it all. "We have to get you upstairs. You've been on your feet too much today." I said, and frowned, checking my watch.

"Oh, hush. It's my first day out of that place. I'm just so excited for food that doesn't taste completely like cardboard." he said enthusiastically.

I laughed lightly. "I can fix you up something pretty quickly, but you go get in bed. Just set the box down here," I said, gesturing to the front room. "I'll get it later."

"You aren't my maid, you don't have to clean up everything you know."

"I know, I enjoy it. It makes me feel like the studious housewife."

"Not yet you aren't."

"You're right, housefiancée."

"For only two more months though."

"I can't wait." I said and he kissed me lightly.

"Go to bed. I'll wake you up later with food. What do you want?" I asked him, pushing him so he'd get the idea.

"Surprise me." he said, and climbed the stairs, disappearing around the corner. I made my way to the kitchen and got a pot, filling it with water. I set it on the oven top, and set the burner on. I was going with pasta, it was the simplest. I still didn't know how to cook with magic, which was probably something I should learn. I heated up the sauce in another pot and grabbed lettuce and sides for salads from the fridge. I quickly threw together a small salad and put Italian dressing on top, his favorite. I then got him a glass of Firewhiskey from the cupboard, figuring we'd celebrate his return. Once the pasta was done, I grabbed a tray and a napkin.

I made my way upstairs slowly, careful not to spill anything and opened the door with my hip. He was laying in bed, the covers halfway up his body, his shirt sliding up his torso and I had to stop and stare. How was I this lucky to have this man for me for my whole life? He was breathtakingly beautiful.

"James." I said, and he stirred, automatically grabbing his glasses off of the bedside table.

"That looks delicious." he said. I climbed onto the bed with him and set the plate between us, handing him the Firewhiskey. He took a sip then set it down, and grabbed the salad. "You spoil me Lily."

"Only the best for you." I murmured and he smiled. He devoured the salad and then the pasta. "You eat like a pig." I said laughing.

"Oh come on! I eat like a perfect gentleman."

"Then how do you have dressing on your eyebrow?" I asked.

"What! I do not." reaching up and scrubbing his eyebrow.

"Yes you do. Here." I said, and reached up, wiping it off, but then I left my hand there, ran it through his hair, and then gently caressed his face. "I missed you."

"And I, you." he said, all traces of joking gone from his voice. He set the tray down on the bedside table, and finished his drink. "Come here." he murmured.

I slid into his open arms, cocooning myself into him, suddenly needing him next to me.

"You're much stronger than me. I don't think I could have lived that long without you. It must prove I love you more." he said against my hair, his hot breath spiraling around me.

"Funny. That doesn't prove anything at all. If it does, then it's that I love you more, because I didn't get up out of that stupid hospital chair _once _unless it wasn't visiting hours. And that thing is uncomfortable to the extreme. I don't think my back is ever going to be the same." I joked.

"You want a massage?" he asked.

"I would love one." I said. So I flipped to my stomach, my head laying on my pillow and he slowly massaged the endless knots out of my shoulders and upper back. It felt so amazing, that I almost fell asleep…until he leaned down and gently started kissing my neck. Then I became wide awake. He continued kissing me, making his way up and down my jaw line. And then before I barely knew what was happening, he flipped me over and molded his lips into mine. It was gentle at first, sweet, until I opened my mouth, and he deepened the kiss, dipping his tongue in and I tasted the Italian dressing from dinner. He was being so sweet, most likely trying to make up for all the time I'd spent alone the past few weeks.

But I didn't want sweet. I missed him, and I needed him. I grabbed his shoulders, pulling him down on top of me, so we were molded together. All of him was pressed against me, but he wasn't close enough. It was me this time who deepened the kiss, slightly pulling on his bottom lip so he'd open his mouth and when he didn't, I bit him. He yelped slightly but continued to kiss me. I was tired of being on the bottom though, so I shoved him until he was underneath me, and I straddled him, kissing him and placing his hands above his head, so he was splayed out underneath me. I kissed him for a while, and then moved to his jaw line, sucking and biting down his neck and back up.

"W-wait." he said, muffled by my hair. I sat up, still straddling him.

"Something wrong? It seemed you were enjoying yourself." I questioned, annoyed he made me stop.

"Something smells weird." he said. He sniffed my hair, then my clothes, then his clothes, then the pillow, where he stopped. 'This doesn't smell like me, or you. It smells like…" he paused, thinking. "Sirius. No one else I know has that cologne. Why was Sirius sleeping in our bed?" he said, starting to sound mad.

I paused, trying to figure out how to word the next sentence properly. But he took my pause in a different direction.

"Did you sleep with him?" he said, incredulous. "No way. You cheated on me when I was sick didn't you? Guess that chair wasn't too uncomfortable saying as you were laying here the rest of the time. I can't believe you. You said you were saving yourself for me! What the hell Lily."

"What! James, you're overreacting!" but before I could explain myself, he pushed me off of him, still gently though, and got out of the bed, putting his shirt back on that I'd managed to slip off. "James! Stop it! I'd never cheat on you. It was just too difficult. I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating. I couldn't fall asleep without someone breathing next to me."

"Oh whatever. That's complete bullshit. You cheated on me, and now you're trying to come up with some stupid story. I knew it. I knew it. Sirius has always been competing against me, I just never thought he would.." he trailed off, muttering incoherent curse words. He stormed out of the room before I had the chance to say anything else.

"James!" I shouted but when I followed him, he was no where to be seen, and I was guessing he had gone to Remus' for the night. I sat down weakly on the couch. My first night with him back, and I was alone. The tears came then, not stopping. I sat there until they stopped, and then, the night having been ruined, went back upstairs and got the dishes. I cleaned the kitchen and then got another glass of Firewhiskey. And then another. And another. I didn't stop until the bottle was gone.

I stumbled to the couch, stripping my clothes as I went, wondering why anyone would ever invent jeans, way too uncomfortable. In just my bra and panties, I sat down on the couch and pulled the blanket that was draped over the back on top of me. I grabbed a book from the cabinet next to me and started reading, it was a romance, wonderful. In my drunken state, I didn't get much reading done, the words running together easily. The tears came freely still, spiraling down on the pages of my book, mixing with the sorrows of the characters living through them. I laid down on the couch then, still reading, and drifted of into my dreams, hoping at least for a happy ending there.

James P.O.V.

I found her on the couch when I got back. Drunk and naked by the looks of it. She had fallen asleep while she was reading, typical of her. The words were blotchy however and I knew she had been crying. I looked at her, so breathtaking even with her cheeks flushed and her hair a mess. I knew she hadn't cheated on me now, and part of me knew the whole time.

I was just so weird when it came to Lily. Remus says it's my insecurity finally bursting through my fat head, and maybe it is. Lily was the one true thing I had in my life, and I wasn't ready to lose it, ever. I had jumped to conclusions so easily.

I had spent a good four years of my life loving her while she hated me, and it was difficult to realize even now she loved me _back. _Of course I would jump to conclusions, look at Sirius compared to me. He had the effortless look that no one could ever pull off, and yet he did. The eyes, the hair. I had glasses for Merlin's sake. And yet she fell for me. And I was the happiest man in the world.

I had to apologize, but it would have to wait for the morning. I walked to the couch and scooped her up in my arms. She didn't even stir and part of me wanted to make sure she had a pulse she was so still. I carried her up the stairs. She was so lightweight, only 130 pounds. I laid her in our bed, and pulled the covers around her.

I walked to the bathroom, showered, and got dressed into my own pajamas, all the while thinking only of her. I walked downstairs and grabbed a carton of ice cream from the freezer, chunky monkey, the best kind. I sat down at the couch and turned on the television, switching to the wizards channel with a flick of my wand.

The news was on, and I waited for the death toll to stop before turning the volume up. Four killed. I thanked Merlin I didn't know the names and felt a pang of pity for the families and friends.

Random things came up next, nothing too important so switched back to the muggle shows, laughing at the dramas and getting confused by their odd sports, especially football, which made no sense to me.

I had finished the entire carton of chunky monkey by the time I started to feel tired, so I threw it away, brushed my teeth, then climbed into bed with Lily. She was drooling, her mouth open in an O. I laughed quietly to myself. I settled myself in, and turned the rest of the lights off, closing my eyes.

"James?" she murmured and I opened my eyes, turning and looking at her. Even in her drunken state, her eyes were like glowing green orbs, staring back at me.

"Lily." I murmured, and opened my arms. She crawled in without hesitation. "I'm sorry, it was foolish and regardless and I jumped to conclusions. Please for-"

"Shut up James."

"Am I forgiven?"

"Yes."

**A/N: I know it's dreadfully short, especially since I haven't really updated in a while but I'm sorry, I've just been so busy with second semester starting and such. I'm a sophomore by the way, if any of you were wondering. I hope you enjoyed this quick little filler. The action packed next chapter will be up as soon as I can write it, with ten times more drama, adventure, action and romance. Ooooh, sizzle. Thank you for all of the reviews, and please review this chapter, it would be much appreciated. **


	25. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, but that would be so immensely cool if I did.**

"So how was he in bed?" Alice giggled as she grabbed a bottle of lotion from the immense pile in front of all of us.

"Alice!" I squealed.

"Oh speak up Lily. I described my first time _in detail_." Emma said, tying a basket and setting it in the pile next to us.

"We…haven't had sex yet…" I muttered.

"WHAT!" they both shouted at me, jumping up and down. "are you serious!" Emma asked.

"Yes. Trust me, I've tried. For a really long time I thought it was me, but he's dead set on waiting til we're married. Says he already messed up once, and doesn't want to mess it up with me too." I said, hurriedly putting together another basket.

"Wow. That's actually quite romantic." Alice said. "I waited for a long time with Frank, but he finally convinced me. You're going to love it Lily, just you wait."

"I've dreadfully nervous." I said, biting my lip.

"You'll be fine! It's just pure instinct as Mary use to say." Emma said, and then realizing what she had uttered we all fell silent, feeling the empty presence of the chair next to me with a growing intensity.

"She should be here." Alice said in a hushed whisper. "For Merlin's sake she should be here. We're making my wedding giveaways. She should be sitting there. We always promised we'd be each other's bridesmaids. All of us. It feels so-"

"Empty." Emma finished. "I know. I still think about her all the time. How she just ran straight to them, not even stopping to think about herself. It was the most selfless thing I've ever seen."

"Mary was brave, and noble. She didn't deserve her fate." I said, my voice catching. We sat in silence for another moment, just making baskets.

"Well, on to happier subjects. Alice, how excited are you! You're wedding's in just a few weeks! And Lily, in a month and a half! I feel like the old maid of the group now." Emma said and laughed, her blond curls bouncing.

"You're not an old maid, we just chose to get married young. Times are very dangerous you know." Alice said sarcastically.

"They are! Since when?" Emma replied and we all laughed.

"This is nice, getting together again. I feel like we haven't been with each other in so long. It's almost as if we're back in the dormitory again." I said.

"You're right." Emma said. "Oh my gosh. Alice! Try on the dress for us."

"Yes, yes! I want to see it!" I gushed.

"Oh alright." she relented and scurried back to her room. Emma and I talked about tiny wedding details while we waited. "So what do you think?" I heard her say, and we both turned. I gasped automatically.

"Oh my. Alice, it's beautiful." it was a semi-strapless dress, with embroidering down the side and around the middle. It cinched at her waist and flowed down gracefully in a wave at her feet.

"It's gorgeous." Emma said simply.

"Thanks guys. I want you two to be wearing blue, strapless dresses and I promise you guys are going to look good." she said, and then returned to her bedroom presumably to take off the dress.

"I'm so jealous of both of you." Emma said. I turned to look at her.

"I thought you loved being single?" I questioned.

"Well of course I do, but seeing you two all happy and glowing about to get _married, _it makes me envious. You're going to be happy for the rest of your lives in just a few weeks. And I have no idea who the person is that's going to make me happy yet." She paused, sighing deeply. "Don't let me depress you. I just keep remembering Mary, and how easy it was when there were two single girls running round here." She ended with a laugh, and I laughed too, glad we could cherish the memories instead of blocking them.

"I'm sorry Em. I promise though, he'll come soon enough. Besides, Sirius seems pretty interested in you these days." I winked at her and she laughed.

"Right, interested. Interested in what underwear I'm wearing!" She exclaimed. "Sirius is a bigger whore than I am. Everyone knows that."

"Which is why you two would be perfect together!" I said, which she laughed hysterically at. "But seriously." And then I started laughing. "Get it? Siriusly?"

"Did someone really just use the Sirius joke? I'm thinking of getting that copywrited." We both turned to see Sirius lounging lazily against the doorway.

"Hello Sirius." I said. "What brings you here?"

"Ah hello Lily Flower, Em." he strode over to us and gave us both a kiss on the cheek. "It seems someone needs my help." and nodded to the door where Alice had just reappeared.

"Oh bullocks, I completely forgot! Give me two seconds and I'll be ready to go. Explain to Em and Lily." Alice said and hurried into the bathroom.

"What are you helping her with?" Emma asked.

"Someone needs help with lingerie." he said with a wink.

"She asked you!" I exclaimed.

"Well, I've seen my fair share of the stuff my dear, and I know what Frank will love best for their honeymoon." he said and took a seat next to Emma, draping an arm over the back of her seat which she promptly shoved off, causing him to fall slightly.

Before he could complain, Alice came out of the bathroom. "Sorry, guys. Thanks so much for helping me with this, but I got to go. You'll both make it home alright?"

"Of course." I said smiling. "Have fun you two." They both laughed and dissaparated.

"Well, I got to run too then, I was trying to hurry up with the bags so.." Emma trailed off.

"You're fine Emma, I'll be leaving right behind you." I responded. She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and turned on the spot, disappearing. I sighed and sat down at Alice's kitchen table. "What is going on?" I whispered. For some reason, I felt severely confused all of a sudden, like something had just changed. Suddenly I felt empty, completely devoid of emotions. I looked around, but there was nothing in the room. And then suddenly there was a pop and a man was standing in front of me.

"Lily, you have to come with me. Dumbledore says we're in danger of a new spell the death eaters have invented, but didn't give me any details. We have to get to the school now." James looked slightly different than normal, his glasses slightly crooked, and he had a small cut on his nose.

"How'd you get that cut?" I asked standing up.

"Huh? Oh this?" he asked. Reaching up to touch his nose. "Just a small scratch, probably did it in my sleep. Now come here Lils. We got to go."

"Ok." I reached out and grabbed his hand, but something was wrong, terribly wrong. He grabbed my hand, pulling me forward roughly. "James wha-" but something was against my neck. I looked down to see a wand sticking into my skin. James smiled gruesomely.

"You really think I'm James don't you? Like I would ever impersonate that disgusting bastard." And he was changing before my eyes, his hair turning colors, his eyes changing to a pale blue.

"Dolohov." I breathed out, recognizing him at last.

"Took you long enough. For someone whose suppose to be smart, you're pretty stupid slut." he said, and took off James' glasses, shoving them into a pocket. "Now, it's time we get going. The Dark Lord requests your presence." And he spun on the spot, the wand still against my throat. I struggled to get away, thinking of Sirius' flat, Hogsmeade, Emma's house, anywhere that I could get away, but his hold on me was tight, and as the air squeezed out of my lungs, I myself deflated. I didn't know how to get out of this. The spinning stopped and I looked up to see that we were on a road leading to a ramshackle building that looked deserted and desiccated. He dragged me along beside him as we made our way to the building. He whispered a spell and my sight went black, plunging into darkness and I let out a small scream.

"Oh shut it." he said and dragged me forward again. I tripped over small rocks that littered the ground, but could do nothing. It was horrible, being unable to see. Complete sensory deprivation. I felt it when we got inside because there was no longer any wind. I could hear moaning and knew that more people were in this building, probably had been for a long time.

Suddenly we stopped and he held on to my arm with one hand while a lock clicked open with the other. He shoved me into a room and I sprawled onto the floor. Slowly sitting up. It was dank and cold in the room, and I still couldn't see.

"Have fun." he said, laughed and I heard the door slam shut.

I stood up, feeling along the walls until I going in almost a complete circle when my hand touched skin. I screamed and flew back, tripping over my feet and falling to the floor.

"It's ok. Don't be afraid." a voice spoke to me. It was a girls voice, American by the sounds of it. "I'm not going to hurt you. My name is Joanna. But you can call me Jo. Don't worry, your eye sight will come back soon. Mine came back in a couple of hours."

"My name's Lily. Are-" I paused, not knowing if I could trust her. "Are you a witch?"

"Yes. I go to Beauxbaxtons. I'm guessing you're a Hogwarts student?"

"Yes. Well I did. I graduated last year. What year are you in?"

"My last. I was on vacation with my family in Paris when a death eater grabbed me and I blacked out. I woke up here. I've been here for four months, or so they tell me."

"What happened to your parents?"

"My dad is dead. I saw him get dragged past the cell and go through the door of no return. I don't know where my mom is."

"I'm so sorry." I said, and reached out to grab her hand, which she held onto. They were small, even smaller than mine. "What's the door of no return?"

"Oh, right. It's just what we prisoners call the door at the end of the hall. When you go in there, you don't come out alive. Usually the screams go on for at least two hours before they're done." she said calmly.

"God, that's terrible. How do they keep this many people without anyone finding out? Or how do they feed us all?" I asked.

"Oh, food isn't hard. They just slide it through the window. They can remove the bars only from the outside. You'll find that out when you get your sight back."

"How many people are here?"

"Hard to tell. I've been out of the door of course, everyone does, once a week. But I'm guessing probably around thirty people in all."

"What do you mean everyone does?"

"Yeah, this is going to be pretty rough. Once a week, different day every time though, they pull you out, and you go into a room, and well, I can't really tell you what they'll make you do. But it's awful Lily. I'm so sorry you got taken." she said sullenly.

"Well, we're going to get out of here. I promise. I'm a member of the Order of the Phoenix, and if I don't get us out, someone will come."

"Lily, as great as that sounds, I gave up hope around three months ago. There's no escaping. Without a wand, we can't really do anything. And you can't dissaparate out of here, I've tried." Jo said dejectedly.

"Jo! My sight's coming back! I can see, sort of. It's really blurry." and I could, my eyes were slowly adjusting to the room. We were in a room about eight by eight foot room and we were sitting on the floor in the middle. There was a bucket in the corner of the room and I didn't want to guess what was in it."

'Don't worry, it doesn't smell. There's a whole in the bottom that it goes through, some kind of plumbing system." I turned my attention to her and was shocked to see how pretty she was. She had a sharp angular face with cheekbones that a Grecian sculpture would die to sculpt. Her almond shaped eyes were a dark brown, almost black and her blond hair cascaded down in waves to half way down her chest. It was messy though, and dirty but I could tell she was beautiful.

"Well that's good. It feels good to see, let me tell you." I said. Just then, the bars on the door slowly opened, and a voice rang out, "slide to the wall!" We got up slowly and pressed our backs against the wall facing the door. Two trays floated to the ground, using their wands to levitate them to the ground. I raised my eyebrows slowly. The bars shoved back into place. "Ok, you can eat." the voices said and trailed off until I could hear them at the next door.

We sat down on the ground again and each grabbed a tray. "I would eat this, I know it looks disgusting but sometimes they forget to feed us, so I would."

I looked down at the tray to see a glob of some meat looking casserole thing and some unidentified mixture of vegetables and mud in the other. A cup of water was also included. "Wonderful." I muttered and took a bite of the meat, gagging as the taste registered on my tongue.

"So, you have a family back home?" Jo asked me, eating her meal with much more dignity than me, barely wincing as she swallowed.

"In sorts. My mum and dad were murdered by Voldemort about half a year ago. I have a sister, but she's a muggle and refuses to talk to me. But I have a fiancée, his name is James." I smiled, thinking of him but then frowned, knowing he must be worried out of his mind.

"I saw the ring. It's beautiful." she said.

"Thank you. So is he. In every way. He's my best friend." I smiled, picturing him again. "He'll do anything to get me back. We love each other. And we're getting married soon. He'll never stop trying to find me. Do you have someone back home?"

"Well, there's this guy. He's older than me by about seven years, but he's so mysterious and strong. He's a wizard, and a talented one. He went to Durmstrang and works as a capturer for the magical creatures department. His name's Dean."

"He sounds great." I said, and smiled.

"You seem so calm about all of this. I remember when I first got here I was screaming my head off for the first month and a half, going between sobbing and screaming the whole time." she said and shuddered.

"Oh, well this isn't the first time I've been kidnapped by these people. I know my friends will come through. They always do. Every time." I spun my ring around my finger, glad the death eaters hadn't taken it from me.

"Well I hope you're right." she said and we drifted into casual conversations about school and family.

We were interrupted when a voice rang out from the hallway. "Lights out! If we hear any talking you'll be in the room before you can scream." and our room and the hallway plunged into darkness. I couldn't even see my hand in front of me.

I laid down next to Jo, and drifted off into an uneasy sleep, but knowing I would need it. Because I already had a plan, I was going to get Jo and I out of here, and as many other people that I could.

James P.O.V.

"Lils? I'm home! Sorry I'm late, I was just- Whoa." I trailed off hesitantly, because there before me was my fiancée, and she was in a skimpy black lacy bra and underwear, laying on our bed. "Uh, Lily?"

"Hi James." she said seductively. "I've missed you. Come here." she purred, trailing her fingers along the sheets.

"Yeah, of course." I said, and climbed onto the bed with her. She was on me in a second, pulling on my shirt, tugging it off over my head and had gotten my belt buckle undone in the next. "Whoa, Lily slow down. Are you about to start your period or something? You seem different."

"Oh James, silly boy. Come here." she said, and pulled me by the shoulders so my lips met hers. I kissed her back, but she was acting weird, biting on my lips and shoving her tongue into my mouth, pulling me on top of her. And then she pulled down my pants so I was just in my boxers.

"Lil-" I started, but she cut me off, pulling me close again and shushing me. She put my hand on her breast and reached her down, pulling at my boxers, reaching her tiny hand on the inside of the seam. She had almost touched me when I pushed her back, detaching myself from her.

"What the hell Lily? Why are you acting so weird! We agreed we were going to wait until after we got married and now you jump me when I get home?"

"Why are you so upset? I missed you that's all." But something was wrong, her voice was different. Drawling out in a heavy voice. "Don't you miss me?" her hair was growing, longer and curlier, turning black. She was growing taller, almost five ten. Her waist shrank slightly but her curves grew larger and larger, until she was almost busting out of her bra.

"Bellatrix." I snarled, horrified at what I had done.

"Yup! Hi Jamesie. Now wasn't that more fun than whatever you and Lilykins do? Merlin. Waiting til marriage? You must be crazy. I could never do that. Now, down to business I'm afraid." She pulled out her wand from somewhere, I don't know where, her outfit was mostly skin. "I'm here to take you in. You see, Dolohov got your darling Lily earlier today at the Longbottom's. Wasn't hard. Just a little bit of your hair and we're good to go."

"Where is she?" I snarled.

"Oh, somewhere nice and cozy. Called a cell. But can't tell you where, that would ruin the surprise. Now, let's see, what's that blinding spell again? Ah yes. Spect-" but there was a huge crash and Sirius appeared, crashing down the door. He shot a curse at Bellatrix and she collapsed to the ground.

"Nice timing mate." I said, going and grabbing my wand from the bedside table and quickly dressing myself again."

"Thanks. I got out the mirror to talk to you, but saw this instead, figured you needed help." he gestured to the mirror that was sitting on the dresser, right in view of where Bellatrix and I had been moments before.

"I owe you one. But we need to go after Lily. She could be hurt. We can search her memories or something."

"Oh, I don't think that's the best idea James."

"What do you mean Padfoot? We need to get Lily. She's in danger. Wherever she is." I went in the closet and got a cloak, and when I got back Bella was gone. "Where'd she go?" I exclaimed.

"I sent her back to the Dark Lord. He's been expecting her, and she should probably be woken up from my stunning spell."

"Wha-" but then Sirius laughed and transformed slowly into a huge man with greasy hair and a large nose.

"Snivellus." I sneered and grabbed my wand but he intercepted, throwing a curse at me and before I blacked out the whole house exploded into pieces around me.

**A/N: I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY. If that's not enough then email me and I will send you a whole page of them. I waited way too long to update and I apologize profusely for it. I made this one slightly longer than normal, and they're going to remain that way because I feel so bad. I just got caught up with a bunch of things and just didn't know where to go with this story. Especially since I got a HUGE RESPONSE OF FOUR COMMENTS last time. Thanks guys, huge inspiration. (that was sarcasm by the way). But whatever, I've started writing for me, and the comments are just a nice pat on the back. They're appreciated but by no means necessary. I hope you guys liked this chapter, and I'll update as soon as I can.**


	26. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I don't own this. I just wish i did.**

James P.O.V.

"Wh-what's going on?" I said dumbly, reaching out for my glasses that I could blurrily see were on a table next to me. I was lying in a bed that was soft and white, and the room was bare, with only a cabinet across from me. I sat up quickly, but sank down slowly with a groan shot of pain lanced through my head.

"You might not want to get up so fast Mr. Potter." I looked up to see Dumbledore walking through a door and approaching my bed. "You were out for a while, and it took the healers a long time to fix you up."

"Snape, the house. What's going on?" I asked, sitting up slowly this time.

"Well the big explosion I'm sure you remember was me. Sorry about that. I had no other means to get you out, and collapsing the house seemed the easiest. Snape rushed away, probably back to his master. You've been here ever since, a safe house belonging to Molly Prewitt. We've been giving you time to recover."

"But Professor, what about Lily? Have you guys gotten her yet?" I asked, and my heart sank when I saw his eyes dart away from mine and then back.

"I'm sorry James. We have no leads yet. She seems to have literally disappeared. But we will find her. I'm sure of it."

I felt like my life was draining away, and I sank in to the pillow, clutching my head in my hands. She had to be safe. I would feel it if she…no I couldn't think of that. "We need to find her. Now." I made a motion to get up but Dumbledore's surprisingly strong hands pushed my shoulders back down.

"No. I'm sorry, but you need time to heal James. I promise, all of my best men and women are on this case. We will find her, but for now we need you here safe." With that, he patted my shoulder again and walked out the door, and went it closed, so did I.

Lily's P.O.V.

"I'm so sick of this place and it's only been two days." I said, and sighed.

"I know. Imagine four months." Jo said dejectedly. She fiddled with her hair and sighed also. "It'll get interesting when it's your turn. Don't worry." I shot her a look and she grimaced. "Sorry, I'm always ten times worse after my turn."

Jo had been taken yesterday. I was screaming for her until she came back four hours later. She had been very shaken up and was now in a fowl mood, but I couldn't blame her. I wasn't looking forward to my "vacation".

"It's ok Jo. Tell me more about Dean." Dean always put her in a better mood.

She smiled and began talking, a wistful look on her face. "I was working at a bar, during the summer. Illegally of course, but hey. When you're young and blond, bartenders are always hiring. I was working, and I remember this heinous guy who was hitting on me, touching me and things, but of course I couldn't complain, he was a customer, and Dean came up behind him and said 'leave the girl alone you son of a bitch' and knocked him out with his fist before the man could even respond. He offered to buy me a drink and of course I accepted. After that first night, I already loved him. He's perfect Lily. Kind of like your James. But I need someone tough. I always fall for the bad boys." she laughed and I saw two tears fall down her face. "Tell me something interesting."

So I did. "You want to hear the story about how I got my first kiss?"

"Sure." she said and laughed lightly.

"I was seventeen, so young of course, and I had just gotten my first boyfriend. He was very handsome, named Michael. I miss him sometimes."

"What happened to him?"

"The first time I got kidnapped by these people, I found him dead with my name carved into him. It was horrible."

"Wow. I'm sorry."

"So am I. But anyway, I was so nervous with Michael, because I'd never dated a boy, let alone kiss one. So my best friend, Mary, suggested that I should kiss a boy I knew way better, that wouldn't judge me at all, so when I did with Michael, I would know what to do. So anyway, I asked James. I remember being so nervous and horrified at asking him to kiss me. We were in a deserted corridor and I kinda spit it out that I wanted him to kiss me and he just smiled and smirked a little, and when we kissed, god Jo I swear, it was like the greatest thing of my life. I'd never felt like that at all. He was perfect for me, and I for him. And I knew that, but of course I denied it. I tried to be with Michael, I really did, but James was always there, in the back of my mind. And then when he saved my life I-"

"Wait! He saved your life?" She said shocked.

"Oh yes. After the kiss, it was so incredibly amazing, and then he just ran off, and I sunk to the ground. Severus Snape, one of our classmates, attacked me, and I would have died if not for James. He held my wounds together. And then he nursed me back to normal. It was actually hilarious looking back. I fell in the shower once, and since we were heads, we shared a dorm, and he had to come in the shower with me and help me up without looking at me. It was hilarious. And then I knew I was falling in love with him. And I've been with him ever since."

"So your first kiss is going to be your last. That's so romantic." Jo said and smiled. "I'm such a romantic. I swear, those stories get me every time."

I smiled back at her. "I love him. That's all."

But then all of a sudden, the door to our shack was rushing open. "Lily Evans?" a voice said. I looked up to see a pair of dark eyes staring at me. "Come with me."

I stood up shakily. Jo had told me never to fight, because it would only make it ten times worse. Always listen to them. So I followed them out the door, hearing the door clang behind me. I walked along the hallway silently, the grip of the mans hand tight on my arm and I knew it would leave me with bruises. Moans emitted from the rooms all around me and I knew this place was a lot bigger than it seemed. We finally walked through a doorway, not the one of no return, and to my horror, James was there, shackled to a chair.

"James! No!" I screamed and tried to break free of my captor, but his grip was too strong. James stirred and looked up at me, and I saw his hazel eyes that were so perfect staring back at me.

"Lils?" he said questionably.

"It's me." I said, tears now pouring down my face. They led me to another chair, close to James and shackled me in place. But then the weirdest thing happened. They were unshackling James and gave him a wand.

"I'm so sorry Lily. They'll kill me if I don't. I'm so sorry." He was sobbing too.

"It's ok, do it right. Don't get in trouble. I'll be fine." But when the Cruciatus curse hit me, I couldn't help but scream, my back arching against the chair. Knives were piercing me in ever pour of my skin. I was burning, on fire. I was being sawed to pieces. And then it stopped after what felt like hours.

But James was laughing. "Ja-james?"

"You actually think I love you? Yeah right. You little slut. I could never love a whore like you. Filthy Mudblood." he said and cackled.

"You-you're lying. They've imperioused you. Or something. You can't mean that!" I whispered. But then the wand was on me again, and dimly through my screams I could hear him laughing and laughing, mingling with my sobs.

It stopped again, and I fell against the chair, sobbing. "I could never love you. I've been in ranks with Voldemort the whole time. I was the perfect role. Perfect way to get to you, and I accepted it with grace. Easy to get to you, you little slut. Made you fall for me in a heartbeat. And now I get to kill you. It's great repayment."

"Repayment for what?" I managed to choke out.

"For having to be with you for that long! Merlin, you don't do anything! A virgin at 18! And you can't even kiss a man? You had to beg me to kiss you and I'll the while I had to pretend to be in love with you for three years! Do you know how difficult that was?" he practically screamed at me.

And I realized with a sickening feeling that he was right. He had never shown interest in me until the beginning of fifth year, where he must have already talked to Voldemort and joined his ranks. The whole team he had been playing me, pretending the be my best friend, my love. And then he hit me with the curse again, and as I was screaming, the one hope that I had left me, just as James had, because he didn't really love me. He wasn't the man I knew, and there wasn't anyone coming to rescue me.

James P.O.V.

I didn't know what was happening, but something wasn't right. I could feel it, like an itch you can't scratch, gnawing at my insides, and I knew it only meant one thing. Lily was in pain. And I couldn't do anything about it. Dumbledore was being too protective. I had been in this room two months since the attack, which meant Lily had been spending two months in some hell, trying to be strong. Of course I knew she would survive, she was the strongest person I knew, but I couldn't help but feel like something was wrong, more so than the fact that she was probably getting tortured as I thought.

Sirius walked in the room, with Remus trailing behind him. "How you doing mate?" he asked, clapping me on the shoulder.

"Better. I need to get out of here. She needs my help." I responded, my voice hard.

"I know Prongs. In just a few days we'll be out of here and getting her. You know Lily. She probably already has an escape plan at the ready." Remus said, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"I just can't shake the feeling something isn't right." I said.

"Well of course something's wrong. Your fiancée has been kidnapped, again!" Sirius said angrily and then stormed out of the room.

"What's wrong with him?" I asked, turning to Remus.

"Well other than being worried sick about Lily, like all of us are, Emma has him staying with her because she's so upset. But you know how Emma's like. As soon as we get Lily back, she'll kick Sirius out on his ass. He's really falling for her. But doesn't want to get hurt." Remus said.

"Oh. Well damn."

"Yeah I know." And just then the door opened and Dumbledore rushed in, flanked by two aurors, and he looked livid.

"James, we've located her. She's in a small building right outside London. Along with about another one hundred people." he said hurriedly.

"Great! Let's go. We have to get her." I said, and stood up, glad there wasn't pain in my head because of it.

"There's a problem James. You can't come with us." he said.

"What! Why?" I exclaimed. No way were they making me sit this one out. This was my Lily we were talking about.

"Because. Lily is under the impression that you are torturing her. That you are killing her, and that you have been in Voldemort's rank since your fifth year. She has lost all hope and trust in anybody." he said sadly.

"But, how?" I said, sinking back to the bed.

"We have a spy there, pretending to be a devoted death eater. He informed me of the location and the situation of Miss Evans. It's Polyjuice Potion James. They're using you to torture her, because you torturing her is ten times worse than her just simply being there. She's lost all hope." Dumbledore said roughly.

"My god, she's never going to trust me again." I said.

"That's not true. With the right convincing, and the right healers, she'll be right as rain in no time." the man to Dumbledore's right said.

"And who are you?" I asked.

"I'm Dean. My Jo is the girl whose sharing a room with Lily. I'm going to get both of them out." he responded. He was very muscular, I couldn't help but notice, and looked very tough.

"We actually have to get her first. I will have my aurors keep you updated, but it's not my time to leave. I have students to save." and with that Dumbledore vanished out the door, his cloak whipping behind him.

Lily's P.O.V.

"Jo, I don't know how long I can keep doing this. Eight times he's tortured me. Eight. How have you lasted six months?" I asked her, shivering in the dank room.

"Well, for starters, the love of my life doesn't torture me. Either because they don't know about him or they don't have hair. It's easier that way. I still have hope." she paused. "No offense." she said hurriedly.

"It's ok Jo. Anyway. We won't be here long. Just a few more checks and we'll no exactly the number of doors in here to unlock and we'll be out of here as soon as they say lights out." I said, and gripped her hand.

"I hope this works Lily. If I never see Dean again, I don't know what I'll do." she said with a sigh.

"Don't worry Jo. You'll see him again. I promise." The night went by quickly. Soon the food had been delivered and it was time for us to escape.

When the man walked by calling lights out, I stood by the door and very quickly said, "Sir!" I saw his head whip around as he came to look at me.

"What!" he shouted in my face.

"We're having a problem. Something's wrong with the vanishing charm on the bucket. It's vanished our bucket you see." I said innocently, knowing he would fall for it. We waited for this Tuesday, because the man on Tuesday was the most sympathetic, and the biggest germophobe I had ever met.

"Oh. Well I guess I can come in and fix the mess for you. Don't want feces loitering your nice room now huh?" he said and chuckled. He swung out his wand and unlocked the door, stepping into our room. "Little tiny in here huh?" he chuckled again and walked over to the corner where the bucket was.

"Huh? The buckets still he-" but just then the tray that dinner had come on that day smacked into the back of his head, and he fell like a stone. I grabbed his wand quickly and stunned him, leaning him against the wall by the door, so he wouldn't be seen from the outside corridor. I opened the door quietly with the wand, and said the Muffliato spell in both directions so no one could hear us.

Jo followed quickly behind me and pulled shut the door. We went to the next room over, where we slowly took off the bars to see four dead children, probably only thirteen piled in the center of the room. I choked back a sob, and closed the bars shut.

There were only dead bodies in the next three we tried, but when we got to the last door on the right, we saw three boys around sixteen, sleeping soundly. We slipped open the door and went inside, and woke them up, but covered their mouths before they could make a noise. "We're escaping. Come with us." Jo whispered and they all three nodded before standing up behind us.

In all the rest of the rooms in our small hallway, we were the only living ones. It looked as if they had been there for days. Too many dead bodies.

We reached the door that led to the torture hallway, and thankfully Jo knew the way because when she had been taken the second week, the Death Eater was new, and walked her right past the door with the exit sign lit above it, just like a muggle business office for emergencies. The Death Eater was killed automatically but luckily Jo's memory wasn't erased. We crept slowly to the door, and snuck out of it slowly.

"Something's not right." I whispered. "This is too easy." But we continued anyway, reaching the gate that encircled the building quickly. Jo pulled open the door first and took one step when I noticed out of the corner of my eye I small string going across the door.

"Jo don't move!" I hissed out. I had seen these in almost every muggle military movie. It was a trip wire. Why they were using them made no sense to me saying as magic was easier, but this was probably a Death Eater's crude joke.

Jo stopped where she was, and looked down. One foot had tripped the wire, and if she let go, we would all blow up. Completely. She started sobbing, but didn't move, and then she suddenly stopped. There were shadowy figures coming towards us from the road. As they got closer I saw there were about ten figures.

"Dean?" Jo whispered, and from the shadows a tall man with a cloak on stepped out. He took one look at her, looked down, and tears ran down his face. And then Dumbledore was right behind Dean.

"Lily! Thank god you're alright. I see you've made it out by yourself. Excuse me, but leave the rescuing to Dean and his friends here, I have some business to attend to." and he strode calmly over the wire and into the building.

"Ok," Dean's voice said, level and calm. "Everyone carefully step over the wire, except Jo, and apparate to Hogsmeade. That's where Dumbledore told us to go. His office."

The three boys did as they were told and apparated into nothing with three others. I stayed behind.

"I'm guessing you're Lily?" Dean asked.

"Yes." I whispered.

"Nice to meet you Lily." he said, and shook my hand.

"How are we going to get her out of this?" I said.

"Not sure, there might be a spell that could suspend the wire the way it is without tripping it, and get her out of here. Let me think." he said. It was silent for a time, but then screams and explosions started emitting from the building.

"Ok, I think I got it." he started whispering spells and the wire moved slightly and I held my breath. But then Jo's voice broke the silence.

"Dean. You need to take Lily and get out of here. Dumbledore's about to burst through those doors with who knows how many people, and if I'm just sitting here, it's not going to go well. Someone will trip over it and everyone will be dead."

"I'm not just going to leave you here." he said roughly, but I could see the sense in her words, and knew he did too.

"Dean. You have to." she was crying now, tears streaming down her face.

He suddenly rushed forward and kissed her, passionately and deep. He laid his forehead against hers and looked in her eyes. "I love you." he raised his lips to her forehead and kissed it.

"I love you Dean. Always." she replied.

There were figures darting out of the building now. "Go Dean. Take Lily and apparate." Jo said.

"I will." he said and grabbed my hand, and turned. But something didn't work. We weren't disappearing.

"They must have spread out the field to apparate, we'll have to run before we can get out." I said. I rushed forward and gave Jo a hug. "You'll make it out. Dumbledore's the greatest wizard I've ever known. He'll get you out."

She nodded. "I know." She looked at Dean one more time.

"I love you." And then we were running. His hand still locked with mine. He turned multiple times, I thought to look back at Jo, but I realized he was trying to dissaparate. We kept running but we were thrown forward suddenly when there was a huge explosion behind us. We tumbled to the ground.

"NO!" Dean screamed. "Merlin no, no, no." he fell to the ground, cradling his head, and I sunk to my knees, sobbing.

"Dean. We have to go. Come on." I grabbed his hand, and turned, thinking of Hogsmeade. And we disappeared into nothingness, Dean's racking sobs against my shoulder.

A**/N: i updated! yayaayyaya. I really like this chapter, not sure why. Hope you guys did too! Thanks for reviews. You guys are amazing (:**


	27. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, that would make me way too awesome.**

Emma's P.O.V.

I knew I shouldn't be taking advantage of Sirius like this. I mean, sure, I definitely had feelings for the guy, other than the fact that he was completely fantastic in bed. But I was just so worried these, days, always scared that we were going to hear the news that Lily was dead. Lily's my best friend. I wouldn't ever admit this to Alice, but Lily has always been my best friend, more than Alice, and more than Mary. If Lily died, and it was only Alice and I left, I don't know how I would live, normally at least. She's just the kind of person that is just that, genuinely kind and actually cares. When she asks you how your day went, she actually cares how you think you did on your Astronomy exam. But I couldn't dwell on Lily now, or I'd start crying, and Sirius always held me when I cried, but he wasn't here.

I got out of bed slowly, wrapping a robe around myself lazily and walked into the kitchen. There was a note from Sirius on the table.

_Got an owl from Dumbledore asking me to join him in his office. Figured I should go. See you later tonight. Love,_

_Sirius._

The love seemed to be mocking me, seemingly bigger than the rest of the letters. Why did he get to me so much? Men usually weren't my biggest concern. I mean sure, watching Alice and Frank get married was beautiful but tragically sad, since I was the only bridesmaid when there should have been two others standing next to me. But I was glad they were happy.

But I had no desire to be like them, to be like that with anyone. Being in love was never my interests, all through school, when the girls dreamed of their "perfect guy". It just wasn't appealing. But as I read Sirius' note, I didn't know what to think. Remus had warned me multiple times to not let him become attached because I was leading him on and bla bla bla.

But Merlin, Remus had never slept with the man! It was crazy. I don't know how he did it. He even taught me things, which was seriously saying something. But as that little love stared back at me, I just didn't know what to do.

But luckily, I didn't have to wait for long, because at that moment, Sirius strode through the front door.

"I thought you weren't getting back til-" but he interrupted my words with a kiss on the lips, long and happy. "What was that for?" I asked when we separated.

"Lily. She's back." he said, bouncing up and down with excitement.

"What?" I whispered with shock. "Are you serious?"

"As serious as only Sirius can be." he grinned and I bounded into his arms, crying with joy.

"Oh, oh my. Oh Merlin. We need to see her, immediately."

"That's what I need to talk to you about. Dumbledore has an idea of how to get her use to us all again, but it's going to take awhile. You see, they used polyjuice potion to make Lily think James was torturing her this whole time. She doesn't trust anyone apparently. So Dumbledore has a plan to help get her to trust at least one of us, so we can get her to realize James has been here the whole time." he said, shuffling from foot to foot, anxious to get back to Dumbledore.

"That's horrible. Poor Lily." I said, crying still, but now with sympathy.

"I know. Go get dressed, or we'll be late and not get to see her." he said and I nodded, going into my bedroom to get dressed, yearning to see my best friend.

Frank's P.O.V.

Alice's hand was warm against mine, her thigh pressing up against mine as we sat in a circle in Dumbledore's office. There were seven of us. All in a circle. Me, Alice, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Emma, and Petunia. I vaguely wondered why Petunia was here, or better, how Dumbledore managed to get her here, but I didn't say anything.

Dumbledore started to speak. "What we are trying to do, which is what the healers and I think is best, is to get Lily adjusted to see faces that she hasn't seen in the two and a half months she was imprisoned. Ranging from just friends to best friends, to family. She has convinced her mind that although she is not in captivity, she is still in very much danger, and that everyone she see's is something else entirely." He paused to take a deep breath.

"We're not exactly sure what she is seeing. But it has to do with Jo's death, because she recognized me when I first came across her at the building, it was only after the explosion where she didn't seem to remember me and was completely lucid. She only recognized Dean for who he was, but he's not in much better shape than she is." he checked his wristwatch quickly.

"Frank, you need to see her first. She needs to see a familiar face, but not one she would be expecting. Of course she knows you, and is friendly with you, but her main accordance with you is through Alice, and the healers are hoping that will open her to ask questions about Alice. Bring up your wedding. See if she remembers anything before the incident. We'll have healers monitoring the situation, just in case she lapses back into her panic mode, you will not get hurt."

I nodded in agreement to his terms and stood up, squeezing Alice's hand. "I'll be right back." I murmured and she nodded. I followed Dumbledore down a hallway, took a right, and stood in front of a red door that had a rather large lock on the door. "Why do we need the lock?"

"To prevent her from hurting herself. She also doesn't have a wand, which I don't think she's too happy about. We did recover it however. It was in a small room at the building, categorized in boxes of about a hundred others." he said, and pulled out his own wand. He waved it and the lock clicked. "Good luck, I'll be back in one hour."

And I walked into the room.

At first, I didn't see Lily. She was sitting at a desk in the back corner of the room, drawing on a piece of paper. She didn't seem to hear me when I closed the door, or she didn't care, but when I cleared my throat, she turned slowly, and peered at me with wide green eyes. She seemed to take in my appearance, and I stood at the door, not wanting to make her nervous by walking towards her.

She stood up from the chair, calmly turning her back to me, tucked in the chair under the desk, collected her drawings, put them in a folder, and slid them under the desk. She turned back around and looked at me again with the same wide, clear eyes.

"Hi Frank." she said quietly, almost a whisper. And I looked up, meeting her eyes for the first time. She walked towards me slowly and stopped right in front of me. She looked different. Her hair wasn't healthy anymore, but hung in chunks, with parts falling out. Her cheeks were so sunken in, I could almost see bone. She had lost a lot of weight, I doubt she had been eating. "Can I hug you? I promise I won't get glassy." I didn't know what that meant, but I nodded, and held my arms out to her slowly. She walked into me, her small frame fitting awkwardly into my tall frame. Her head sank into my lower chest, and she stood there for a moment before backing away.

"Please, have a seat." she said, and pulled out the desk chair and a chair by her bed and put them directly in front of me. I sat down and she did to, folding her legs underneath her. "I know what they've told you to do. Tell me everything's ok, but not everything's ok. They think I don't know. But I do. I'm just in another room, another mode of torture. I just wish you'd get on with it. It's getting rather boring just sitting in here day after day. I'd almost welcome the Cruciatus anytime now. Is that why you're here? You can talk to me, I promise I won't get glassy." There was that word again. I really needed to know what that meant.

"Hi Lily." I said, and she closed her eyes slightly when I talked. "How are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm fantastic thank you. I really love the accommodations you guys have provided. Much better than my old room. I'm not sure why they brought you here Frank. You wouldn't work for them, they've killed your family right? So you must have been tortured to torture me. That's right. Or else I wouldn't have hugged you. Right, hugs are for friends. So are you going to torture me?" The way she said it gave me the chills, it was just too bizarre. She didn't even seem to care about getting tortured.

"No Lily. I'm not here to torture you. I came here to apologize." I said slowly, watching as she digested each word carefully.

"Apologize about what Frank?"

"I got married, and you didn't come. See?" I said, and held out my hand to where a small golden ring was wrapped around my finger.

"Oh, your wedding, to Alice. I completely forgot that was this summer. How did it go? Did everyone look beautiful? I'm sure they did. Alice always looks beautiful."

"She was. She still is. Completely beautiful."

"Is she here too?" she asked.

"Yes, she's going to visit you, very soon." I said, but then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes glazed over, and she stood up, knocking over the chair.

"NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. SHE CAN'T COME. I WON'T ALLOW IT." she started screaming and pulling her hair, knocking over things in the room. "ALICE HAS TO RUN, RUN FAR AND FAR AWAY AND NEVER EVER COME HERE. HERE IS WHERE BAD THINGS WILL HAPPEN. WHERE TORTURE AND DEAD CHILDREN AND TRICK WIRES-" but she screamed herself hoarse after continuing for another couple of minutes.

She was still moaning, grabbing her hair and I took a step back, going for the door when she noticed me for the first time. Her eyes were still glazed over when she looked at me. "AND WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING? DO YOU NOT WANT TO BE MY FRIEND ANYMORE? HUH? IS THAT IT?" and she lunged for me. Her nails barely missing my face. I ran to the door, slipped it open and slammed it shut as she banged on the other side with her fists, the booms echoing through the hallway. Well, at least I knew what glassy meant.

Alice's P.O.V.

Frank came back from the hallway after about thirty minutes, looking visibly shaken. He walked into the room and sank into a chair right away.

"What's happened? Are you alright?" I asked him, taking his hand.

"It's horrible in there." he stopped as we all gathered round to listen. "She seems normal, asking me about the wedding but then she went crazy. Her eyes glazed over and she wasn't making sense, screaming things and such. And then when I moved she ran at me, trying to attack me, I barely made it out of the door in time."

"Well, I guess I should probably go in." I said, and stood up.

"Yes, but you'll be the last one today Alice." a voice said from the door and we looked up to see Dumbledore. "I just checked on Lily, and she is not 'glassy' at the moment. But the healers don't want to push more than two people each day. Just be careful Alice, and if she gets glassy, then leave, immediately."

"Ok sir, I will." I gave Frank a quick kiss on the forehead and walked down the hallway, stopping at the red door. I pushed it open before I could convince myself otherwise and walked in the room. She was on me before I could even see where she was. I thought at first she was attacking me, but she was hugging me, sobbing and hugging me.

"Oh Alice! I'm so happy you're here. I was so nervous you'd been kidnapped too but had been taken somewhere else. Can you please tell Dumbledore I'm fine! I don't need to be in the loony bin!" she looked so convincing, I almost left to tell Dumbledore to get my best friend out, but I knew Frank wouldn't have lied.

"Lily, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I don't know what it was like, but I promise you nothing like that is ever going to happen again. Do..do your remember everything?" I asked hesitantly, not wanting to experience glassy for myself.

"Oh, yes Alice I do. You have to tell someone, I don't think Dumbledore believed me. But James isn't really on our side. He's a spy for Voldemort. He's been a spy since fifth year. He never really loved me. He actually hated me. Still does. That's why I got kidnapped. He didn't want to pretend anymore. He tortured me everyday. And on days when I fell out of my chair, he would kick my bruises and compare them to each other. Want to see his favorite?" she asked and before I could say no she lifted up her shirt and I gasped.

On the right side of her side, near the ribs was a huge purpled bruise that extended from the bottom of her breast to her pointy hip bone jutting out from her skin. "Oh, Lily." I gasped.

"It's not as bad as it looked. James, Avery, and Dolohov had competitions who could get it to spread fastest. It didn't hurt after a while, nothing hurts after the Cruciatus. But it gave them entertainment, so that's good, it was always better when they were entertained, so they didn't come visit you at night." she said rapidly, poking at the edges of the bruise and giggling slightly.

"What do you mean visit you at night?" I asked, and she stopped poking abruptly and I stood up, because right before my eyes her green glowing eyes had turned a startling glazed color, like clouds covering up the sun.

"The Death Eaters liked to visit the girls at night. At least the pretty ones, that's what Jo said. We use to hear the girl next door scream almost every night. She must have been beautiful, like you Alice." she said, and stroked my hair, and I almost shuddered, but then her eyes faded, and they were back to her normal green.

"What was I saying?" she asked innocently. "Oh, Alice, how are you? Frank told me about your wedding. Congratulations! I'm sorry I couldn't have been there. I'm sure it was beautiful. Did you dance?" she giggled. "Remember I tried to teach you how to dance and we fell down the stairs?" she giggled some more. "Remember Alice? Remember? Remem-" and her voice trailed off, her eyes suddenly glazing over.

"NO, NO NO. I CAN'T REMEMBER. NO. JAMES NO. PLEASE NO, THIS ISN'T REAL. IT CAN'T BE. PLEASE, JUST TELL ME YOU LOVE ME AND EVERYTHINGS GOING TO BE OK. NO, DON'T RAISE THE WAND. NO JO, DON'T WALK. DEAN! I'M SO SORRY, I'M SO, SO SORRY. IT'S ALL MY FAULT." and she continued like that, repeating things and she sank to the ground, falling with her head in her hands.

I walked quietly out of the door, so she wouldn't hear me. And that's when I realized something. "Glassy" was the real Lily, how she was actually feeling, the rest wasn't real at all.

James' P.O.V.

I was struggling, big time. Dumbledore had sent me a detailed letter, explaining the progress that had happened today with Frank and Alice. How Lily had let the healers heal most of her external wounds. How these were all good signs that showed huge improvement.

But I didn't want improvement, I just wanted to see her, to talk to her. And I couldn't. All because of Voldemort's sick, twisted mind. Why did this have to happen. We were suppose to get married in two months, and now she probably wouldn't ever talk to me again.

And I just felt so horrible for her. Trapped in her own mind with no way out. She had been kidnapped for two months. What was she suppose to do but wrap herself hidden in her brain? There was really no other choice.

But now I didn't have a choice either. We were both trapped in our realities. I wouldn't ever get to see her until she was fully healed, and she wouldn't get to see me until she chose to, which would be never.

Never would I get to hold her, or kiss her. Never see her blush or stumble or grimace. Never wrinkle her nose, or bite her quill. Never laugh delicately, like tiny silver bells in the breeze. Never smell her beautiful scent of just her and her shampoo, which still clung to my pillows making me cry every night.

We didn't deserve this. Her more than ever. Lily was the kindest soul I'd ever met. The sweetest, most generous person I knew. And yet she had been kidnapped and tortured to the point of almost madness. It wasn't fair.

I would never get to see her again. So what was the point of seeing? Not seeing one, I closed my eyes, and sank back onto the bed, sinking into fitful dreams full of memories of Lily, healthy, alive, and with me, finally with me.

**A/N: sorry for such the long wait, I just didn't really know where to go with this, but I've got a good idea where I'm going now, and get ready for a huge surprise next chapter. I hope you liked this and can't wait to read more. Reviews are always welcome!**

**Love, **

**Tibby09296**


	28. Chapter 27

Sirius' P.O.V.

The red door seemed to be staring at me. Driving my brain to thrum in my head, making it seem like I should be the one in this mental hospital. It should have been me, honestly. I should never have let Lily get kidnapped. If only James' and I hadn't gotten in a fight, and then made it awkward between us, I could have been there to stop it. But now Lily believed that James was the bad guy, and that couldn't work. They were suppose to get married next month. James was literally going insane not seeing her, so I had to convince her that she was wrong, that the Death Eaters had lied, and that James was actually the good guy.

Before I could convince myself against it, I took a deep breath and opened the door. Lily was lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling where she had drawings posted. She spoke from the bed. "I wondered when you'd come to see me. Come lay with me."

I walked to the bed, laying down next to her and she grasped my hand with hers. "I've missed you." she said. "You were always my favorite friend, don't tell Remus that of course, he was in here just the other day. Told me all about the upcoming Quiddich match that's suppose to be important. But all I wanted to talk about was life. You know I haven't seen the sun in over five months? Isn't that incredibly sad. I'm getting better you know, I'm trying to listen to the Healers. Convince myself that they're right, I did get kidnapped and all that bad stuff happened, but I'm safe now, and you guys are all safe too, no ones going to hurt me, and all of you are real. But part of me can't shake the feeling that I'm in some new kind of torture, where I get to see all of my friends one last time, before something horrible happens. I don't know. What do you think? You've been very quiet. I've said too much I suppose. I made the twinkle go out." she lapsed into silence, and I turned to look at her.

"What's the twinkle?" I asked her, and she grinned innocently.

"Your eyes. They twinkle most of the time. I noticed that in third year. They twinkle when you're doing something mischievous, when your happy, and when your laughing. But it's gone. It's because I've made you sad. I'm sorry. What did I do?" she asked, and my heart almost broke looking at her. Like a child.

"Don't be sorry, you shouldn't apologize. Here, it will come back, I'll tell a joke. Would you like that?" I asked, wanting to make her happy.

"Yes Sirius! Oh yes I would!" she said and squeezed my hand.

"Ok, here we go. What would you say if you were sitting next to the devil and he sneezed?" I asked her, and she scrunched her nose before realizing the joke.

She laughed and I smiled with her. "I get it! Because you wouldn't say god bless you to the devil. That's funny Sirius! But the twinkles still gone." she answered, and frowned.

"I'm sorry. I'm just sad. You shouldn't be in here, you should be planning your wedding." I paused, waiting to see her reaction, but her expression remained the same. "You see, your mind has tricked you Lily. It's tricked you into thinking that James was torturing you all those times. But really, it was polyjuice potion. You know how real that seems, polyjuice potion. Remember when Slughorn taught us about it? You already knew what it was, and had already made it yourself in second year, to see if it actually worked. And you remember who you pretended to be? James, because he had tied your shoelaces together and you were mad, so you pretended to be him and made him dance around the Great Hall crazily and sing to McGonagall at the top of his lungs that he loved her." I laughed remembering and she smiled, which seemed like a good sign.

"He got detention for two weeks because of that you know." I said, and tapped her nose gently.

"That's when James was nice, before he met Voldemort." she said and smiled, tucking her head into my chest.

"No Lily. That's where your wrong, you see, James never met Voldemort before he fell in love with you. He's actually loved you since the moment he met you. Voldemort made someone pretend to be him to scare you. To make you be hopeless, so he could manipulate you easier. James loves you Lily. He's been here the whole time, he never wanted you to get kidnapped, to get tortured. He's been going insane at home, because Dumbledore won't let him see you. It was all a game Lily. James, the real one, is at your house, in Godric's Hollow. He's been there the whole time, missing you." I finished, and watched as she slowly turned away from me and looked up at the ceiling. I looked at the drawings for the first time, and realized they were all James face. Over and over again.

"I keep dreaming about him you know. The times before I knew he was evil. How he told me he loved me, and he just wanted to hold me, and be with me forever. How he wanted to have kids, a girl and a boy." she said wistfully, gazing at the pictures of him.

"But Lily, those things he said were _real_. He does love you, he does want to hold you, and have kids with you. And be with you forever. He loves _you_ Lily. Not Voldemort and his beliefs. All he's ever wanted was to be with you." I said, urging her to believe me.

"I-I I don't know. Sirius, that makes sort of sense, but I don't know if I can believe it. There's just too much proof. James made it all make sense when he kept torturing me. Everything made sense. The timing was perfect. He had all the right reasons to hate me. Information only James' would know. It's the only thing that makes sense. How could a random Death Eater know all those things about us?" She questioned me, her green eyes glowing like orbs.

"I don't know Lily. But they're going to pay for it. I promise."

Emma's P.O.V.

I had left Lily's hospital room for the second time this week a few hours ago. She was getting so much better it was unbelievable. The first month had been the worst, not knowing when she was going to pop into her 'glassy' phase or not. Which was so incredibly sad, because we knew now that glassy was actually the real Lily shining through. But it was so much better. The glassy phase became all time Lily, she no longer pretended to be sane. But Dumbledore said this was better because they could retrieve Lily from the glass, without damaging her more.

None of us knew what she had gone through, but it must have been terrible. To put yourself into a fake reality to escape from the real one must have pushed Lily to her limit. Her body was completely healed, once she had allowed the healers to touch her, the physical wounds were much better. It was just her mind now, which the Healers said would have to heal on it's own. Which is why Sirius was going to visit her. He was so much like James that the Healers had been worried she would panic when she saw the similarities. But she was so much better that Sirius would get to see her today, and maybe try to convince her that James was never a death eater. If she reacted ok to Sirius, her last visitor would finally get to see her, Petunia.

It had been slightly awkward at first, having Petunia stay with Sirius and I. But she lived hours away, and refused to travel by Floo. We offered an extra room in my house and she finally relented, after calling her husband, lying, saying that her 'business' was running long, but not to worry. She mostly kept to herself, going to sleep at a relatively early time, and getting up ridiculously early in the morning, but she didn't snore, or keep the bathroom messy, so I was fine with it.

Sirius, I knew, was probably entering the door now, looking at how different Lily looked, less alive, like a living corpse. He would be shocked to see her, to hear her. I feel bad, honestly. Sirius is such a happy person, isn't meant to live in a world with this much destruction. He'd come home with the twinkle gone from his eye, which was horrible, because I hated to see him upset.

I walked through the doors of my house to see a surprising sight. Petunia was sitting at the kitchen table, sobbing her eyes out. Deep, racking shudders ran through her body as she sat.

"Petunia?" I questioned quietly and she looked up suddenly at me.

'I'm sorry." she squeaked quickly. "I'll clean the table, I promise, I just-" but she burst into another fresh round of tears.

"What's wrong?" I asked, sitting down next to her.

"You know I didn't use to hate Lily? Before I realized she was-well like you. We use to be friends. Best friends." she said with a shudder.

"Why do you hate her? She didn't choose this you know. You can't help what you're born with." I questioned gently.

"Because it's not fair. She always had everything. She was always the prettiest, the ones boys looked at all through middle school, until she left that is. Always the smartest, the one my parents loved more. The funniest. The sweetest. Everything I couldn't be. And then she gets to be a witch! To have life be so easy because of magic! Everything at your fingertips. And then she gets to be with James! How is that fair? I get stuck with Vernon, the fattest, walrus of a man that doesn't even appreciate me." she rumbled off coherently and I sat there, not quite sure what to say.

"Well, does Lily know you feel this way?" I asked.

"No, no one does. I don't even know why I'm telling you. You're a witch too." she replied, glaring at me. "I'm alone here. You and that shaggy haired man are together, obviously, and are clearly in love. And I'm sitting here, sobbing my eyes out every day because I'll never have anything like that."

"Well, first of all, we're not in love." I said, a hint of humor in my voice.

"Well you might not love him, but he loves you. It's completely obvious. He's completely obsessed with you. I'm not sure why you don't feel the same. You're not going to find someone else like him." she said, and I started, surprised at how she seemed to be reading the same thoughts I'd been trying to get through my head all week.

"I'm not sure about that, but I do care about him. But why are you still crying?" I asked, hoping I wasn't being too pushy.

"Because I miss her! And I shouldn't and it's stupid, but I do."

"It's not stupid. She's your sister."

"She's a freak."

"But she's still you're sister." I said gently. I stood up after that. "I'll let you think about that. And petunia, I am sorry."

"So am I."

Petunia's P.O.V.

Dumbledore had told me I was the last test, before James could see Lily. I would be the last person to visit her, the last new face before she got to see her true love. It was so unfair. We lost our parents, so she gets James and I get Vernon, just because I told him I could cook. I settled, which I know you shouldn't do, but I knew no one else would be with me. I wasn't _that _unattractive. I mean sure, my neck was abnormally long, and I had a horseish face, but that didn't mean I was ugly. Lily got all the looks. The lovely red locks, the perfect curves. I got stuck with a twig shape, greasy blond hair, and it sucks.

I'd always been jealous of Lily, before I even knew what being envious meant. She just always had it all, the easier life. And I wanted it. Desperately. The only reason I was still here was because Dumbledore had been so kind to me when I asked if I could go to Hogwarts too.

But as I walked down the hallway towards Lily's door, I didn't know what to think. Would she know me? Would she care? But my thoughts stopped abruptly as I got to the red door, and pushed it open.

She was drawing at a desk in the back of the room and I was shocked to see how much weight she had lost. How her hair was lanky and falling out, how her skin seemed to just hang off of her.

"Lily?" I asked gently and she turned around, stood up and walked towards me slowly.

"Tuney!" she cried and gave me a hug quickly, before letting go and sitting down on her bed. "Sorry, I know you hate hugs." she cleared her throat. "Uh, Petunia, it's nice to see you."

Other than her appearance, she seemed almost normal, sane. She didn't look "glassy" like the others had described her. She was cool, calm, and collected, like always.

"I have to talk to you Lily." I said, and pulled up the desk chair by her bed.

"Is it about James? Because Sirius spent half my day yesterday talking and talking about how it was all a trick. But that's not something you can just erase out of your memory." her eyes got slightly wide as she was remembering. "The things he did to me, no one should ever have to go through, and yet I did."

"Well it's about James, and Vernon, and" I paused, sucking in a deep breath. "And mom and dad."

I looked at her, expecting a respond but she said nothing. "Sirius is right. James never did anything to you. Ever. He still loves you, and wants to see you terribly bad, but Dumbledore won't let him. Lils, he loves you."

She was crying silently now, the tears cascading down her face into her messy hair. "B-but, if that's true, how do I know when I do see him, that I'll just forget everything you've all told me and think I'm back there? You guys have finally convinced me this isn't more of the kidnapping, but I don't want to ever think about those things again."

"Lily, you can't just block them, because they will find a way out, and then you would never understand why you keep reliving them. You can't forget everything. B-but there's something Dumbledore wanted me to give you." I pulled my purse off of my shoulder and took out an envelope. "It's addressed to you. Do you want me to open it?"

She nodded, and I opened the envelope quickly.

_Lily,_

_Jo's funeral is next weekend. If you're out of the hospital by then, I would _

_Like you to join us in remembering her. She would have wanted you there_

_And I know her parents want to meet you. _

_Best of Luck,_

_Dean._

Tears had started again, falling down her face. "I have to be out by then. I have to go." She took the letter from me and re-read it. "I miss her so much. She was my only friend in there."

"I'm sorry Lily. There's something else I want to talk to you about. I, I don't blame you for mum and dad's death. I thought I did, but I realized that you couldn't have done anything to stop it. You can't help what you're born with, and I get that. So I'm sorry. And, and I want you to come to the wedding. All of your friends can come. It's in three weeks. So please, think about it. And remember, James can be trusted. The James waiting for you at your house is real. He's real, and he loves you. The memory you have of him in that place isn't. That's not real. You have to believe me." I said, and grabbed her hand and took the envelope from it.

"I- I don't know what to think. You need to leave. I need to think okay?" she responded and I nodded, standing up to leave.

"Just remember Lily. Ok? Don't forget what I said. Any of it." And then I was gone, the last image I saw of her was a haunted face, a face getting ready to walk up to the gallows, a face that had seen a lifetime of horror and yet somehow, impossibly still innocent.

**A/N: Happy Easter everyone! I hope you're enjoying the holiday with your family and friends. I know this chapter was kind of boring, but I'm already working on the next and it's going to be super intense. Please review, you'll make my Easter even better!**


	29. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is a walking masterpiece, I am the ground she walks on.**

JAMES' P.O.V.

"She's ready." I looked up from my bed, dropping the magazine down on my chest. Sirius was grinning broadly in the doorway.

"As in.." I trailed off, not wanting to get my hopes up that much.

"Yes. She told Dumbledore she can see you, that she won't hurt you, and she thinks that you won't hurt her. She's not completely convinced you weren't the one torturing her, but I'd say she's like 97% convinced." he grinned at me some more while the news sank in. Lily wanted to see me?

I bounded up from the couch and grabbed Sirius in a rough hug, letting him go quickly. "This is bloody fantastic! I have to go, right now." I started towards the exit but Sirius caught my arm first.

"Uhm mate, no offense…but you might want to shower first. And maybe, brush your teeth…" he said, not meeting my eye.

"Oh come on. I showered…" I trailed off, oh Merlin. I couldn't even remember. "Right you are. Ok." and I ran towards the direction of the bathroom instead.

As I took a quick shower, brushing my teeth at the same time, reminding me of Lily, I debated what I was going to say to her. How would she react? If she started screaming what would I do? Would she still remember me? Remember us? Of course, this wasn't the best situation, but at least she was willing to see me! And Sirius had told me Petunia was inviting all of us to her wedding in a month. So hopefully by then Lily would trust me completely.

I doubt she would continue living with me, at least at first. She'd probably stay with Emma or somebody. But it would be so wonderful to have someone else sleeping next to me again. To have someone to talk to about anything, at any time. I finally knew why she had slept in the same bed as Sirius when I was in my coma. The absence of another person breathing was terrible. It kept me up most nights.

But she was ready to see me! Finally ready! It was a miracle. I had some idea of what she had gone through, but really, nothing could compare at all to what she had to have thought of me. When I saw the "Lily" that night, who was actually Bellatrix, it had shaken me up. She had been sexy and seductive and yet not at all the sweet and innocent Lily that I loved. But nothing could compare to being tortured by her. I could never see Lily raising her wand against me let alone an Unforgivable coming out of the perfect curve of her mouth. And yet, that's what she had been dealing with for the past months, seeing me raising a wand, shouting out that curse. And she had no idea that it wasn't me. Had thought that I could ever hurt her.

But this was different. She finally realized that I wasn't the terrible person that had tortured her all of those times. She finally consented to see me. I got out of the shower quickly, drying off and grabbed a shirt, smelling it to see if it was clean before throwing it over my head and grabbing boxers and pants. I was out the door before I could even pull up the pants. Sirius was waiting at the kitchen table.

"Are you ready?" he asked, standing up.

"I think so. Any suggestions?" I asked, running a hand through my hair and feeling the drips of water running down my back.

"Just go really slowly. She processes things at the same pace, but she just thinks things through a lot longer, so you need to give her time." He clapped my shoulder. "Good luck Prongs. You'll be fine." he said, before giving me a quick hug and stepping back.

"Thanks mate." I said, before turning the handle of the door and turning, disappearing into the air, imagining only Lily's face.

Emma's P.O.V.

I was staring at the knitting needles, watching them flare back and forth, the scarf knitting itself. The couch was comfortable, the fire at my feet warming the soles of them and making me cozy. But I felt like something was missing. I knew James was going to see Lily today, and I prayed that it would work, and that she could be released. Her friend Jo's funeral was in two days, and I'm sure she wanted to attend. I had just picked up the needles myself, ready to knit and try to relax when Sirius walked through the door.

He had a determined look on his face, his face bunched together, but I noticed that the twinkle was in his eye. I smiled up at him. "Hey, how was your day?" But he ignored me, just coming closer to me before grabbing me into a ferocious kiss, my lips melding into his as he wound his fingers through my hair and pulled me to him, crushing me against him. Just as quickly as he had come, he let go, leaving me breathless.

"What was that for?" I asked him, looking up at him.

"I'm in love with you. I have been for months. And I know you have that whole independent woman thing going on, but I'm telling you to be dependent, on me. I love you. I _love _you Emma. I've never told anyone that. I didn't even know what love meant a year ago, and now I do. With you. And you love me back. I know you do. Or else this, what we have between us, would have never happened. You would have just rejected me like you use to at school. I love you Emma. And you love me." He took a deep breath, and I sat back, stunned.

Sirius had never done anything like that before. Had never once confessed his feelings to me like that before. I took a deep breath, not meeting his eye. "I-I don't know what to say."

"How about you love me back?" he said with a grin, leaning towards me and kissing me gently.

"Oh Merlin." the realization slowly sunk in. The missing part, it had been Sirius. It always had been, I just hadn't been ready to admit to myself that I let myself fall in love with someone. Be dependent on someone. And yet I was. Sirius had been there, everyday, for me. Helping me. _Loving me. _And somehow, I had fallen for him. Deeply. Truly. Fallen for someone.

I reached up for him, cradling his face in my hands and kissed him, truly kissing him, giving him everything. I let go, still right next to him, nose to nose, lips barely touching. "I love you Sirius Black." His lips grazed mine as I said the words, giving me chills and then I pressed forward, his lips meeting mine tenderly.

We stood up together and my hands slid under his shirt as we walked, lips still molded together, slowly to the bedroom. I slipped my hands to the bottom of his shirt, pausing briefly to lift it over his head. His hands slipped to the bottom of mine and pulled it over my head, throwing it to the ground and his lips were on mine before I could even think. We finally made it to the bed, And I climbed on to it, laying down on my back, hair spreading across the pillow, seeing him lean over me, so beautiful.

My hands moved to his belt, undoing it quickly, and sliding them down his legs, onto the ground. Then my hands moved up to his chest, exploring his expertly carved stomach. His hands reached down, slowly sliding off my shorts. His tongue delved into my mouth, pressing deeper making me pull him down on top of me, needing to get closer to him. And as the rest of our clothes peeled off, we became one, making love deep into the night, and it was better than anything I'd ever experienced, because I was in sincerely in love with Sirius Black.

James' P.O.V.

I had imagined this moment, so many times. And yet, nothing could ever prepare me for it. The door stared me down. I knew Lily was right on the other side of it, and yet my hand wouldn't move from my side to open it. She was _right there. _And yet my hand wouldn't move. I suppose I was having a panic attack, but nothing was happening, I could still breath. This was Lily. I had to see her. But the doubt and guilt was just too much. What if she didn't love me? Decided she loved Sirius because he had helped her heal and would never torture her? I took a deep breath and slid to the floor, cupping my head in my hands. This was _Lily_. A million picture of her fled into my mind. Her soft, pale skin. The red curls that flowed expertly down her back. Her perfect, full lips, touching mine.

And then I stood, knowing what I had to do. My hand automatically went to the handle and pushed it open without thought. And then there she was. Sitting on her bed, reading a book, and she was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.

Remus' P.O.V.

"And you're sure this will work?" I asked, holding the small bottle doubtfully.

"Yes," Frank said, smiling widely at me. "It's been tested with more than forty subjects, all with positive results. They turn yes, but without pain, and don't lose their mind to the animal instincts. You're mind will still be yours, you'll just be a wolf."

"Frank, how can I ever repay you?" I asked, overwhelmed completely.

"Remus, you're my friend. You don't need to repay me for anything." he said gently. Just send me an owl the morning after so I can know that it worked! I'm so excited."

"Well you'll have to wait a week first but yeah of course. I, I don't know what to say. This is incredible." I cupped the potion in my hand, I could make out the tiny label that said WOLFSBANE on it.

"Maybe in our next life you'll think about letting me into your gang." he said with a laugh.

"What? Oh, the Marauders?" I grimaced. "Did that hurt your feelings? I'm sorry Frank." It had never occurred to me that Frank would be in the Marauders. He had been a year ahead of us in school and didn't really fit in with the whole prank thing. He mostly kept to himself.

"Now now. I was just kidding. Besides, I struggled enough with getting into the Auror's department without having a million detentions on my record." Frank said with a shrug.

"Well I'm glad you're not seriously offended." I said. I checked my watch briefly. "I have to go. I told Sirius' cousin that I'd watch her kid since I had nothing to do today."

"Ok, go home. I just hope it works." he said grinning still.

"Me too Frank. Thank you so much." I apparated quickly, still shocked by the news that I might be able to transform into a wolf without feeling any pain. It seemed impossible. If it worked, I was going to track down this Wolfsbane man and thank him again and again.

I got home quickly and fixed up a quick dinner for two, knowing that the little girl would be here soon. While I was setting the table, there was a knock on the door and I walked over to it and opened it to see a girl around the age of eight standing there. She hand bright blue hair that stuck out in spikes and a long, hooked nose. Above her shoulder was a woman with long, curly brown hair and big twinkling eyes.

"Hi, I'm Sirius' cousin, Andromeda. This is my daughter, Nymphadora." she said, reaching out a hand and I shook it lightly. "I'm sorry just to drop her off like this, but I really am in a rush, I hope you don't mind."

"Oh, not at all. I was just getting dinner ready anyway." I said and smiled at the girl who stuck her tongue out at me.

"Dora, be polite." She said with a warning tone. "Ok, well I'm off. I'll see you in a little while." And she walked out of the door.

"Nymphadora huh? That's a mouthful." I said with a grin, walking back to the kitchen table.

"It's Tonks actually." she said in a high pitched clear voice.

"Isn't that your last name?" I asked.

"Yes, what's it to you?" She said, before sitting down at the table and helping herself to the steak and kidney pie I had made.

"Just making conversation. How old are you?"

"Eight. My mom had me when she was sixteen." she said, eating the food in front of her.

"Oh, well that's nice." I said, before eating my piece also.

"Oh, well that's nice." She mimicked me. "Want to see something cool?" She asked with an evil little grin on her face.

"Uhm…sure?" I said hesitantly.

"I need a picture. A girl preferably. Doesn't matter what she looks like." she said, pushing back her seat, the noise of scraping chair making me flinch.

"Ok?" I said, and grabbed the quickest picture I could. Me, Emma, Lily, James, and Sirius. "Take your pick."

"Ooh, the red head for sure, that's always the hardest." she said, and closed her eyes, concentrating very hard.

"Hardest for wha-" but I trailed off. Her short hair was curling, growing down her back changing into the same tone of red as Lily's. Her nose was shortening, becoming straight and angular. Her eyes curved, becoming almond shaped and becoming a deep green. Her ears became smaller, pointier.

"Oh my-" I said incoherently. I backed away slightly. It was like I was staring at Lily. "How-ho"

"How did I do it?" the high pitched eight year old voice came out of Lily's face, chilling me slightly. I nodded and she giggled. "I'm a metamorphmagus. Basically, I can change my appearance at will. So, how do I look?" she asked with a smile.

"Uhm, I'm still kind of freaking out." she giggled again. "What do you actually look like?"

"This." she said, and she transformed slowly again, her long red locks going to her shoulders now, a straight brown. Her eyes changed to a pretty deep brown like her mothers and her nose widened slightly at the bottom.

"How do I know that's what you really look like?" I asked.

"You don't." she said and giggled once more, her features changing again to resemble Emma. "Bet you you'll pass out when you see the pig."

"You're on."

Lily's P.O.V.

I heard the door open and looked up from my book and when I saw the figure there, I struggled not to scream. It did no good to scream though, they had told me that millions of times in that prison. The torture would still come anyway. My body backed into the bed as far as I could, into the blankets and pillows. My torturer was here, ready to hit me with a new round of pains and cuts and bruises.

But then I remembered what Sirius and Petunia had told me. How he actually wasn't bad, how he was still the same James that I had dreamed about, so I sat up slowly, bringing my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I looked up at him, and saw those hazel eyes behind the glasses, staring at me, letting me make the first move.

"I-I don't know what to say." I said, and let out a breath. "You can come closer if you want to."

James took two steps closer and when I didn't shrink away, he took two more, before sitting at the edge of my bed. He was still looking at me, examining every angle of my face.

"Is it true, what they've all told me?" I asked, whispering, somehow unsure of myself, unsure of the truth.

He nodded and cleared his throat. "Yes Lily. It's the truth. All of it. I would _never _hurt you. I love you." he sighed. "God Lily, I've missed you so much."

His voice was different than the man from the kidnapping. My torturer. His voice had always been screaming, mocking me. Insulting. This voice was smooth, filled only with love and affection. I didn't know what to think. He looked identical to my torturer, and yet, he looked at me with love in his eyes, and my torturer had never done that, ever. He only ever looked at me with hate.

I remembered the lesson in second year, learning about Polyjuice Potion. How it: _allows a human drinker to assume the form of another human._ How it: _made the person completely identical to the original, the voice, features._ All that I knew about it, and yet I had never suspected that it had been used to trick me. Once the tortures just continued, I fell straight into their web, just assuming that they were telling me the truth, never once doubting the doppelganger that had tortured me so many times.

I sat up straighter, getting up on my knees before scooting down to sit facing him. He looked at me without saying a word. I reached my hand up to his face and when he didn't protest, I touched my fingers to his cheek, gently brushing his smooth skin, from his temple, down to his jaw line, just tracing it back and forth. He _felt _real, felt like my James. I touched his eyelids that closed under my touch, then his nose, then down to his lips, where I gently traced them. They opened under my fingertips and his cool breath washed against my face. My hands went upwards, going through his hair, feeling the soft touch of it, so smooth against my hands.

"You have no idea how good that feels." he said quietly, his voice low. His eyes met mine and my breath caught. He was just so beautiful. "I've missed you Lily. So much." Tears began falling down his face, and I touched them, my fingers becoming wet with them.

"I'm sorry." I said gently, looking up at him, my own tears beginning to fall now also.

"What in the world are you sorry for? You have nothing to apologize for. If anything, it was my fault. I should have looked after you more, should have took better care of you. This is all my fa-" but he was cut off abruptly when I slowly put my arms around him, putting my head to his chest. It was a short hug, but it was enough to get my heart racing. It was his smell. All James. A lovely smell that I didn't realize how much I had missed.

"I love you James. I always have. I think that a part of me always knew that it couldn't be real. That you loved me too much to do those things."

"Lily, I love you too." he took my hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing it. He was still crying, tears of joy now, and they were falling freely.

"We're going to have to go slow. I don't even know if I should live with you. I might wake up and think you're going to torture me the next second." he flinched at that. "I do love you though. I realize now that it was just a trick. A horrible, disastrous trick but I know that it's over. I love you, and that's that." I took a deep breath and held his other hand.

"Jo's funeral is in two days, I might stay with Dean until the funeral. I'm sure he's distraught, and I think he deserves a friend." I said.

"That's fine, whatever you need." he said, still staring at me with wonder.

"You know what I really need? Some ice cream. I'm sick of this hospital food." I said with a grimace. His face broke into a smile, a smile so big that it brightened up the whole mood.

"Ice cream it is." he said, and stood up offering his hand. And as I stood too, taking it, I realized this was where I was meant to be. With James, my hand fitting perfectly with his.

**A/N: I'M SO SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG. YOU CAN HIT ME MENTALLY IF YOU WOULD LIKE. School just ended, today actually, and I decided to celebrate by writing since I'm a loner with no friends. Just kidding, I actually do have friends, but its still mid afternoon so we have no plans yet. Thank you for all you lovely reviewers.**

**Jade2nightwing: are you talking about Vernon loving Petunia? Because I'm going to have a tidbit with them in the next chapter if that's what you mean.**

**IAMSOAP: I almost put soup instead of soap haha. Well thanks, I really like the complex character of Petunia, and she's probably going to be featured more. **

**Loslote: Thank you! And thanks for reviewing**

**Lynnnnyl: ta da**

**Gaap237: thanks, I appreciate that. Sirius is my favorite character, and I love making him have a "relationship" with Lily, even though it'll never be anything more than friends.**

**Loice: Thanks, I really appreciate your review**

**WickedlyWest: Thank you, but I don't know what OOC means. Please explain!**

**TimeTraveler15: thank you so much, I love getting such positive reviews. You keep me going.**

**Looney3: OH MY GOSH I LOVE THOSE BOOKS SO MUCH. I never even thought of that connection but you're right, it's just like that. Is that a bad thing?**


	30. PLEASE READ, UPDATE!

I'm sure most of you guys don't even remember this story, and I'm so sorry for not ever updating. I've had a really rough year and this story kind of faded into the background, but I promise, I am going to finish it, and if you'll stick with me, I promise it will be great. Expect updates very VERY soon. Once again, I apologize for leaving you all hanging. Don't give up on me yet.


	31. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, but if I did, I would continue writing for ever and ever because I love it so much. **

Quick Summary: Lily and James meet at Hogwarts, fall in love (eventually) with many complications along the way. They agree to join the Order of the Phoenix and join the fight to defeat Voldemort. Meanwhile, they become engaged and start to plan their wedding. While helping Alice with her own wedding plans, Lily is kidnapped by Dolohov, and is held captive for months believing that James had betrayed her and is now torturing her continuously (this is actually a death eater using Polyjuice Potion). When Lily is held captive, she meets an American witch named Jo who helps her cope with the hardships she endures, while telling her of the great love she has with a wizard named Dean. When Lily and Jo are finally rescued/kind of escape, Jo dies in a huge explosion, after getting to see Dean one last time. Lily is traumatized by this and the fact that "James" has been torturing her, so she is transferred to St. Mungo's immediately where she is treated to help her understand that it was not James after all. With the help of her friends and her sister Petunia, Lily finally starts to realize that what had happened while she was captive was not the truth.

Lily's P.O.V.

"Ok, so are you all ready Miss Lily?" the healer asked me, staring at me with eyes filled only with concern.

"Yes sir, I think I am." I replied, smiling widely. Today was the day. I was leaving this hospital. No more horrid food. No more long hours by myself. I knew Dean was waiting for me in the waiting room downstairs. I was staying with him until after the funeral tomorrow, or however long either of us needed.

"It was a pleasure healing you then Miss Lily." he said with a smile.

"Thank you very much sir." I responded and smiled once again, giving him a quick hug before turning and walking out that red door forever.

Walking downstairs, I had a spring in my step. Finally, I was free of that hospital, of myself. My wand in my back pocket felt wonderful and I finally felt like my real self. As I reached the elevator, I took a deep breath, running my fingers quickly through my hair. This would be a rough night. Dean was probably still grieving completely. And to be completely honest, with all the events going on, Jo hadn't been in my mind lately. But with her funeral tomorrow, all the memories that we shared rushed back to me. All those talks we had, staying up way after lights out. Sharing our dreams, our passions, our favorite ice cream flavors. If we had met in any other circumstances, we probably would have been great friends.

I had just made it down the elevator when I saw Dean. He was sitting in a stiff hospital chair, his back rim rod straight, looking very uncomfortable. I smiled slightly and walked over to him, pausing before him. He looked up at my approach and, recognizing me, stood up abruptly. He pulled me into a hug before I even had time to react. He was much bigger than me, swallowing me in his arms, but I knew that it was needed, and I hugged him back, thankful for the closeness. He withdrew after awhile in our embrace.

He cleared his throat. "Hi Lily. It's nice to see you're better." he rumpled his hair awkwardly.

"Hello Dean. It's nice to see you too. Thank you for agreeing with this. I wasn't sure I was ready to spend the night with James or any of my friends for that matter. Not that you aren't my friend." I added quickly.

"I know what you mean. Staying with a stranger after something like this…It's understandable." he said. "Well would you like to go? We can go through the Floo Network."

"Sure. But just to prove you wrong, I do indeed know you. You're not a stranger at all. Jo talked about you _constantly. _You're all I heard about for weeks on end. She really loved you, you know." I smiled at him and took his hand.

"Thanks Lily." he gave a sad smile. "You know, we always use to play this game with each other. Who knew the other best, you know? I wonder if she ever told you about it."

"Oh trust me, she did. Not trying to be creepy, but I can bet you about a million galleons I know you better than you know me."

He smiled and gave her an inquisitive look. "What's my favorite ice cream flavor."

"Easy. Rocky Road." I responded.

"Fine, what about favorite song?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"Imagine, John Lennon. Which I think is a great choice." I answered, smiling now.

"How did you know that? He's a Muggle artist!" he said, shocked.

"And I use to live in a house full of Muggles. The Beatles are actually a very popular band." I said.

"Well we will have to continue this quiz later. We're here." There were rows upon rows of fireplaces in front of us. "Ok, step into the fire and say Number 11, Pinecreek Ridge. It will take you where you need. I'll be right behind you."

I stepped forward into the fire, feeling a slight tickling feeling, and said strongly, "Number 11, Pinecreek Ridge." I felt myself spinning round and round and then I was shot upward, going past fireplaces whizzing by before finally slowing down and coming to a graceful landing in Dean's house. Or maybe I should have called it a library. I looked around me and everywhere my eyes set place on there were books. I turned around when I heard Dean speak.

"Yeah, probably should have warned you. I kind of like books." he muttered.

"Kind of? Merlin! What are these organized by?" I asked excited.

"Uhm.. They're alphabetized by author." he said.

"This is incredible!" I exclaimed.

"Thanks." he said and then shrugged. "The guest room is this way. This place use to belong to my parents, before they passed."

"Oh, I'm so sorry." I said quietly.

"It's ok, it happened a long time ago." he said. I followed him down a winding hallway until I reached a simple room that was crème and beige colored. There were books covering every surface in this room too. He moved three stacks off from the bed apologizing as he did so. "The bathrooms down the hall to the left, there are extra toothbrushes in there and your friend Emma dropped off your outfit for the morning, it's in the bathroom. Feel free to shower in the morning, I've got my own in my own room."

"Ok, thanks a lot Dean. I really appreciate it." I said and smiled at him.

"You're welcome Lily. I'll be in my room if you need me. It's the room down to the right, last door. I'm going to head off to sleep since we have an early morning ahead of us. Will you wake up or do I need to wake you?" he asked.

"Oh, I'll be fine." I hurriedly responded.

"Ok, night Lily." he smiled at me before heading off to the right, off to his room. I sat down on the bed lightly. I looked around at the books all around me, picking one up at random. The title said, The Old Man and the Sea, Ernest Hemingway. It was a very small book, so I decided to read it that night before sleep. Maybe it would take my mind off of things.

I quickly got engrossed into the book, about an old man who catches a huge fish that drags him around until finally he manages to kill it, but then before coming back to shore, sharks eat most of the huge carcass and he is left with nothing.

It was around one in the morning when I finished the book, and I set it down with a frown. It had been kind of depressing. I went to the bathroom, finding it easily, and brushed my teeth thoroughly. I looked at my reflection and frowned again. I had still lost weight, and it didn't look natural. I'd always had skin covering my bones, a nice layer, but now you could see most of my ribs, and my wrists still looked way too skinny. The healers said it would take a while before I would get back to my weight, but I hated being this skinny. It was unnatural. I turned and walked out the door. I could hear Dean lightly snoring from his room down the hall.

I walked back to my room and got underneath the covers. Hopefully tomorrow wouldn't be too sad, and I would get through it easily. Petunia's wedding was only in a couple days, and after the funeral I would be moving in with James again. I didn't know how I felt about that however, and I laid in bed pondering that for awhile. Of course I knew James again, and I still loved him but part of me was still unwilling to trust him. The Healers said that it was understandable why I would have trouble trusting him right away, and not to rush things. But I was ready to start my life with James. Get married. I looked down at the wedding ring around my finger and remembered the day he had knelt down on his knee to ask me. I laid there thinking about the memories, and realized that that had been the last time I'd seen Mary alive, and I cried myself to sleep.

I woke up to a small beeping in my head and quickly grabbed my wand to silence the mental alarm clock. I got up slowly, yawning and stretching. I could hear the shower running in Dean's bathroom and walked over to mine. I turned on the water and undressed, ignoring the girl in the mirror. I took a short shower, not wanting to take any hot water from Dean, whose shower was still running when I stepped out of mine.

Once again I stared at that girl in the mirror. She was not me, and me not her. I had never been vain, never really caring one way or the other what I chose to look like, but this was ridiculous. Frowning, I turned to see the dress hanging on the back of the bathroom door that Emma had left for me. I quickly threw it over myself, hating the way it hung loosely at the waist and at my breasts. I dried my hair with my wand and letting out a big breath, opened the door to the hallway, not ready to leave, but not wanting to stay any longer.

Dean was done quickly after me, and we had a quick breakfast of toast before realizing we could not really prolong the moment any longer, and with that, we stood up and moved to the center of the room, having to dissapparate because the cemetery couldn't be reached by Floo powder, ready to take the trip to a day that would be filled with sadness and grief.

After the usual feeling of being squeezed through a painfully tight tube, all the air came back into my lungs and I sucked it in with a huge gulp. Dean released my hand quickly and we began to walk briskly towards the small collection surrounding a headstone. Because Jo was American, I didn't know if this funeral would be anything similar to Mary's. I remembered that Jo had told me her father had died, kidnapped like herself, but I saw a small blond women, no older than I, staring down at the casket who had to be Jo's sister. I walked over to her quietly.

"Hi, I'm Lily. I don't know if you know who I-"

"Of course I know you. You were the one with her. Weren't you? I'm her sister, Tessa." she held out her hand and I took it, surprised to find a strong grip holding my own hand.

"Hello Dean, always nice to see you." she said, turning towards Dean, who leaned down to hug her. "I think the service is just about to start. Lily, would you like to say a few words when I'm done?"

"I'd like that, thank you." I said, and she nodded, giving me a sad smile before going over to talk to a short man in a black jacket. They exchanged a few words and he nodded before pulling out his wand, pointing it at his throat, and saying, "Sonorous."

We all looked towards the man and he cleared his throat. He made a short speech of how death takes people from us too early, and how although it was unfair, it had been Joanna's time, and that she was in a better place. When he was done speaking, Tessa took his place.

"I miss my sister. For a long time I thought she was dead. The people that held her captive had publicized the death of both of my parents, and I had just assumed that Joanna was along with them. I had never felt more alone in my whole entire life. My world seemed to stop. I was never good at being alone. Even though I was the eldest in the family, Joanna was usually the one who comforted me." she stopped now, swallowing back tears. "And now she can't. Before her death, my sister was kept in captivity for over four months. When I received news from Dumbledore that a rescue party was being sent to try to rescue her, I couldn't breath, couldn't move. I had not known she was still alive. And there it was, hope, blooming in me like a spring flower."

She paused her speech and her eyes met mine. "Even though she is dead now, the hope that I felt is not gone. Because of Jo, I know that this war can be won, and her death will not have been in vain. Because of her, I have hope. And when there is hope, anything is possible. Thank you."

She walked quickly back to her seat, accepting pats on the back from some ten people, all distant relatives or friends of Jo's. She nodded at me, so I stood up and walked quickly to the front. I hadn't prepared anything, and was slightly nervous but then I thought of Jo, and the way she had made me laugh that first terrible night in that place, and I knew I could speak.

"I don't think I have ever met someone like Jo. In a way, she was the sister I never got to have. One that I could talk to. Discuss completely meaningless things with, and yet have a completely serious conversation the next second. If not for her, I would have been dead a long time ago. That place, well, it would have destroyed me. I had long since given up hope of being rescued. And even though Jo didn't believe it either, we had each other, and in that place, we needed it."

I paused and looked at Dean, who seemed to be holding back tears. "She loved you. Very much. And I know that she wouldn't want you to mourn her, but to be happy that you got to spend the time with her that you did. I don't know why the Fates chose her instead of me to not escape that place. Most of the time I wish the roles had been reversed. Jo was good. And pure, and deserved the best of life. But it was taken from her, all too soon. She loved though. And her love was true. Without her, I wouldn't be here. And I hope that she is truly in a better place. One where she can be happy and just be herself. I'm so sorry for what happened to her. She didn't deserve it."

Tears were pouring down my face at this point. "Thank you." I said. And although I had not gotten to say all that I had wanted, I could not continue. I went and sat next to Tessa, who grabbed my hand squeezing it tightly. The short man asked Dean if he would like to speak, but he shook his head, lips pressed firmly together, and I guessed that if he tried to speak, he would break down completely. So instead I stood up, walked over to him, grabbed his hand, and we walked silently over to the casket. Tessa joined us on my other side, and together, we watched Jo lower slowly into the ground.

I could not stop the tears from falling down my face, and they splashed to the ground below. I would give anything to talk to her one last time. To say thank you. But I couldn't, so instead, I stood there, staring down at the cold dark hole, and watched my friend go deeper and deeper down into the depths of the earth, and cried.

Later that Day

After many tears had been shed, and many stories exchanged, it was time for me to travel to James house. I was with Dean and Tessa and we were at Dean's house and I was packing up my small collection of items I had had at the hospital.

"Thank you for letting me stay with you. I appreciate it greatly." I said to Dean, preparing to leave.

"Of course. You are welcome here anytime, remember that." He said gruffly, and embraced me. "Just one more question. This one I doubt you'll know. What's my favorite book?"

I looked at him with surprise, and raised my eyebrows. "Let's see." I paused. "you know, I don't know that one."

"Good." he said with a grin.

"Now that's not fair! Please tell me!" I said, my voice raising slightly.

"Fine, it's A Tale of Two Cities. I'm into classics." he said, shrugging. I couldn't help but think how odd it was. A man such of his size, loving classic novels.

"Good choice." I said, smiling, and with one more embrace, I turned on the spot, thinking of Godric's Hollow and James' face.

**I know it's short, and not that much detailed, but I figured I better include a quick summary and filler chapter, and I needed to include the ending of Jo. Don't worry though, next chapter will be out very soon, and it will be filled with romance, mystery, and a certain person that you have not met yet, but I think you will like to here a part of his story, or at least how I'm writing it. Reviews are always welcome, thanks for staying with this story!**


	32. Chapter 30

Lily's P.O.V.

We were so close to each other. I could feel his warm breath on my face. I wanted more than anything to lean in that last inch, to remember what the feel of his lips would be on mine, how it would feel to be close to him again. But as I started to lean, my eyes opened and I jerked back from his touch, sinking into the opposite side of the bed, bringing my knees up to my chest. His eyes flashed with hurt which automatically made me feel terrible.

"I'm so sorry James. I'm trying, I really am." I said, trying to keep my voice steady. I had moved back in with James the day after Jo's funeral, and it had been almost three weeks. I was still sleeping in a separate room but I was slowly beginning to be back to myself again after the horrible imprisonment that I had gone through. James had been beyond patient, taking care of me on the good days and the bad. I occasionally would still wake up screaming after a terrible nightmare based on my time spent in the cell, but those nights were decreasing as the time went on.

"No, Lily, it's alright. I know you're trying and we will get there, together." His large hazel eyes stared back at me and I felt even worse about myself. Here was this beautiful, sweet, guy who _loved _me, more than anything, and I couldn't even kiss him. It's not like I didn't want to kiss him, I wanted to more than anything. It's just that every time I tried, I kept picturing what the James impersonator had done to me over and over, and I would have to pull away. "Petunia's wedding is in two days. Have you spoken to her more about it? Like if we are all invited?" he continued.

"Yeah I have." I said, relieved for the subject change. "She said the more the merrier. I'm not sure how long this friendship between the two of us is going to last, but to be honest, I'm really happy that we are speaking again. I've missed how we used to be so much."

"Well who do you think should all come?" he asked, taking my hand and stroking it gently with is thumb.

"We should probably keep it small, just in case. How about Sirius and Emma come along as well? Since they're getting along so well." I said smiling. Emma had filled me in about what had transpired between her and Sirius and I was shocked that he had actually told her he loved her.

"Alright, I'll mirror him later tonight. Are you tired? You should probably get some sleep."

"I feel like sleep is all that I've been doing lately." I said frowning, yawning despite of my words.

"Yes well, you know what Dumbledore said. Sleep heals the mind and body or whatnot." He said with a smile.

"James?" I said hesitantly.

"Yes love?"

"You know I am trying right? And that I do love you, I just need a little more time? I promise we will get there, and soon." I said this quietly, not looking him in the eye.

"Lily, of course I know that. And you know that I love you more than anything else in this world." He leaned up and kissed my forehead, and I closed my eyes at the contact. That kiss I could deal with, because it was sweet and innocent and it didn't make me feel like I was still in the cell. "I was thinking tomorrow maybe we could go visit our parents? Make a day trip out of it? I know that seems depressing but you haven't spoken to them since it happened and I'm sure they'd love to hear about you and Petunia becoming sisters again. And of course I miss mine as well."

"I think that sounds like a great idea. Wanna tuck me into bed?" I grinned and he laughed, scooping me up in his arms, honeymoon style.

"Of course m'lady." he mocked and I giggled. He carried me out of his room and down the hall, to the door right next to his which he pushed open gently with his foot before setting me down on the bed. I crawled underneath the covers as he sat down on the side of the bed next to me. I lifted myself up so we were looking at each other face to face.

"I love you James Potter." I said.

"As I love you Lily Evans." he said, but before he could go I grabbed his hand to stop him. I leaned in to him, closing my eyes and kissed the very corner of his mouth, not right where either of us truly wanted, but as close as I could get. He sucked in a breath at this and I realized that he missed the contact between us just as much as I did. "I'll see you in the morning, love." and he got up and left the room after extinguishing the light. As I closed my eyes, I brought up my fingertips to my lips, where I could still feel the softness of his skin, and I smiled, finally starting to think that it might get better.

The Next Day

Breakfast was a quick affair, the both of us using magic to whip up eggs and toast. We had decided to visit James' parents first, as they were buried in the cemetery near our home anyway.

After we had apparated to the entrance of the graveyard, I took his hand. "We should visit more often. It's not like it's far, and they deserve it." I said quietly.

"You're right, love. I still miss them so much." We located their headstones quickly and sat down near the gravestones.

"Do you need to say anything?" I asked gently, not wanting to disrupt the peaceful quiet that had overtaken our surroundings.

"Nah. It's enough to just be here with them you know?" he said, and I nodded in agreement. We sat contently for about five minutes before James interrupted the silence. "Hey Lil?"

"Yes, James?" I responded.

"I know that we talked about it once, when we had just started dating and that it was more of a kicks and giggles thing, but eventually, do you want kids?" he asked, staring at me intently.

I hesitated before answering. "I'm not so sure anymore James. As much as I would love to have your child, and I really would you have to believe that, this isn't the sort of world I want to bring a child into. Constant war, not knowing if we could be dead within a year. I wouldn't ever want my child growing up without parents you know?"

He thought for a second before responding. "I understand that, but can you even imagine? A little mix of us running around the place causing mischief." he smiled at that and I had to smile as well. "If it's a girl, she'll be beautiful. She'll look just like you I bet." He trailed off in wonder, still smiling. "Imagine that."

"Well hopefully it'll be a girl then because we definitely don't need another stud like you around Hogwarts. Who knows what our son would get himself into." I said smiling. I looked to him to make a snarky remark but he was silent but for a grin on his face. "What are you thinking?" I asked.

"Just how great that sounded. 'Our son.' That sounds so perfect." he said. And I had to hand it to him, it kind of did.

"What would you want to name him?" I asked, enjoying this conversation greatly.

James considered for a moment. "Patrick?" he asked smiling.

"No." I said at once with a laugh. "Not that it's a bad name, but I can't see that at all. Keep trying though, we'll get there eventually."

"Well how about first we start off with something a little more simple than a kid?" he asked, grinning suspiciously.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused, but before he could respond he had taken my hand and spun around, and the cemetery vanished before my eyes.

After catching my breath I looked around to see we were in a small muggle town and that James had me by the hand and was leading me into a pet shop.

"A pet!?" I exclaimed. "Are you crazy? We can barely take care of ourselves? I thought we meant babies in the far future!"

He laughed at me. "Well we have to practice on something don't we?"

"I guess." I said hesitantly which made him laugh again. We spent the next half an hour walking through the large pet shop trying to decide what to buy when we got to the kitten section. And that was when I saw the cutest little kitten. "James, this is it, for sure." It was a small black cat with a patch of white on its' forehead.

"What's on his forehead?" James asked, picking it up out of the litter. The little kitty snuggled into James hand. "It looks sort of like a lightning bolt. How peculiar."

"He's adorable." I said. "Can we get him?" I asked hopefully.

I could see James petting the cat and the cat purred. "Looks like I can't say no to either of you." He sighed but then laughed. "Sure, but I get to pick the name."

"Deal." I said, and just like that, we had a cat.

James decided to name the little cat Felix and when we brought it home we had a great time watching it run around on it's short little legs exploring the house. We had also gotten the necessary things to take care of it at the store, and we entertained the cat and ourselves by watching it play with its new toys. We sat down on the couch and Felix followed us, rubbing up against our legs before settling down on James' feet.

"He's adorable." I said, lovingly, bending down to pet him. "Thank you James."

"Of course Lily, anything for you." and he picked up my hand, bringing it to his lips before gently kissing it and setting it back down.

In that moment, I knew that it was time. I leaned over slowly and hesitantly, looking in his eyes before looking to his lips. About three inches away I stopped, suddenly nervous. He was staying very still, just looking at me, now wanting to scare me or disturb me. I leaned in a little further, until our lips were almost touching. "I love you." I whispered. And then I closed the distance between us. At first, I tried to just graze his lips, but the feel of his lips against mine brought back so many _good _memories that my intentions went up in smoke. My hands went up to his face, cradling it, before reaching up to comb through is hair. He responded with a gasp and copied me, cradling my face in his hands. And then I realized that this had been what I needed, what he needed, what we needed together.

I moved until I was laying down on the couch, never breaking contact with his lips, and he gently set himself on top of me. He was being too gentle though, barely in contact with me so I pulled his body down on top of mine, feeling the warmth of his skin. I finally had what I wanted, every inch of his body pressed against mine. As he kissed me, he gently started tugging on my bottom lip with his teeth, asking me to open up to him and I responded, opening my mouth so I could finally taste him. As our tongues joined together I could taste him, and our tongues battled for dominance for a few minutes, but it still wasn't enough. My hands worked their way to the hem of his shirt, and I tugged on it, pulling it over his head. We broke apart so the shirt could come off completely but before I could bring his lips back to mine, he stopped me.

Breathing heavily he said, "Lils, are you sure you're up to this? I don't want to go to fast. I don't want to do anything you're uncomfortable with."

"James, trust me, this is what I needed. You're what I needed. Now please, kiss me." I responded, stroking my hands up and down his chest.

"A-are you sure? Cause Lil, I don't want you to get bad again. I won't let it be my fault." He bit his lip, and it was so adorable I just had to smile.

"I'm sure, and I won't. You don't know how much I've missed this." And with that, I brought his lips down to mine and there was no more need for words.

My hands roamed up and down his chest, feeling the hard muscles from years of quiddich training. His skin was radiating heat, making me feel warm for the first time in ages. His hands were underneath me, exploring my back when they got to the hem of my shirt and I lifted my arms to let him take it off, which he did, leaving me in just a simple black bra. It still made me very happy to hear his gasp. He leaned down, trailing kisses down my neck before stopping in the perfect spot on my collarbone. I lifted my chin to give him more room and gasped in pleasure of the sensation he was giving me.

It was then that I decided to do something reckless, before our luck ran out and I couldn't continue. I pushed him off of me and before he could get his feelings hurt I straddled his chest so he was the one lying on the couch, with me on top of him. I placed my hands above his head, on the edge of the couch, and bent down, kissing him deeply. When we separated to breathe I bent down and gently began sucking on his neck. He gasped audibly as I continued kissing and sucking his neck and chest, slowly making my way down past his belly button, where his pants started. My hands were on his chest at this point, his in my hair, when I slowly moved my hands down, starting to undo the buckle of his jeans. I could feel him grow hard underneath me, and I managed to slip his pants off of him before leaning back up to kiss him on his mouth. He flipped me back over quickly but gently so he was on top of me once more. I opened my eyes to look up at him and I couldn't help but gasp at the size of him pressed against me. He started kissing my neck as his hands slowly made their way to the button of my skirt which he unbuttoned expertly before sliding them down my legs. Now just in our underclothes we began to explore each other with our hands, craving the touch of the other that we had missed for so long. Because we were meant for each other. He was mine and I was his. And there was nothing that could separate us again.


End file.
